Chapter Three: Conflicts

"Hey Prongs!" Sirius had said walking in at 5.21am exceedingly chipper for someone who had presumably been awake all night,
"Hey Pads, what's got you so happy?" I replied,
"Oh nothing, except for the fact that I only just got back from spending the last three hours with a certain hot Chaser we know?" and he winked at me and laughed,
"EMILIA? You and Emilia hooked up? Oh great Pads, that's perfect, now when you break her heart she's going to be all bitter at training, do you have any idea what this is going to do to the team if you screw her over?" I was seething,
"Hey, calm down mate, we're both adults, she said she only wanted fun which hell, is exactly what I need! And don't pull the whole 'you're gonna ruin Quidditch' bullshit on me, you know you're just bitter because Lily still despises you"

I rolled my eyes and glared at him and he just laughed at me. To be honest I was jealous of him! How come Mister I'm So Handsome gets any girl he wants? How come he can just go to a party and come home with another girl added to his hit list? There was only one girl I wanted, only one I needed to have so bad that sometimes it hurt and that was Lily, but the only problem was that she supposedly saw me as just her shoulder to cry on. So I've pretty much taken on the role of friend with a shoulder to cry on.

Yay.

At the party I thought I had made some progress with Lily. However I think she's avoiding me now as I hadn't talked to her in days. Maybe she was embarrassed?
I don't know, the inner workings of a girls mind are too complex for a male brain I thought to myself. Pondering Lily and thinking about that night I received a fright when Sirius burst through the door with a scary look on his face,
"Guess.. What..." he panted as if he'd run up the grand staircase,

"Bloody Emilia Wood thinks she's too Miss Perfect for me. ME? I mean, come on, I knew we weren't going to be serious but I mean... Ugh..." I looked at my best friend like he was crazy.
For three seconds I was stunned, then I just laughed at him, I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. He looked at me and then joined in. It felt so good to laugh; girls lately seemed to get us both down. He grinned at me and threw a pillow at my head.

That's when a fully fledged pillow fight broke out. After about five minutes, both of us gasping and rolling on the floor, Remus burst in, "Honestly you two..." but proceeded to chuck a pillow at us and joined in. After our immaturity had waned Remus stood up, adjusted his Prefect badge and went to sit cross legged on his bed. Sirius and I untangled ourselves and also went to sit on our own beds.

"So Pads, now that Emilia's dumped you what are you gonna do?"
"I don't know maybe I'll focus on..."
"Focus on what?" Remus asked politely, Sirius blushed,
"Uhh nothing... school..."
"Since when do you concentrate on school?" I asked incredulously
"Since now" and if to prove his point he stole Remus' book and started to read it upside down. Remus and I looked at each other and raised our eyebrows, I gave him a look and he understood the meaning perfectly; something's up. I nodded.

"So Prongs, how's Lily?"
"I wouldn't know, ever since the party she hasn't said a word to me, let alone screamed at me"
"She probably has PMS" was Sirius' witty reply
"Ignore him; she's probably got some perfectly good reason to be staying away from you"

Yeah maybe, or maybe she just hates me even more than usual...

Lily's Perspective:

STUPID, BLOODY, JAMES, POTTER!

I was seething again as I thought about that night. Crying on bloody Potter's shoulder, how COULD I be so STUPID? If only I had had a little less to drink, then maybe I would have been a little more with it. But no, instead I had to cry on his shoulder for no bloody reason. What the hell was I going to do...?

It was lunchtime and the seven, oops! Eight of us (forgot peter) were sitting under the beech tree by the Black Lake, our usual Wednesday gathering spot. I struggled to keep my eyes off James as I could feel him looking at me. I turned to talk to Sirius and ask him how he was as Emilia had dumped him earlier that day; I thought it safe to talk to him as she was busily chatting to Lupin.

"How are you Pads, I heard about the uhh... incident this morning..." He just looked at me,
"Hey no worries, I'm a big boy, I'll bounce back, are you offering Red?" and he winked at me and put his arm around me. I always felt a little awkward when he did this, even though it was a regular occurrence, but I knew that every time he did this, James was watching, and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty even though I have no reason to of course I quickly thought to myself. Someone wolf-whistled and I found it had been Tonks who had provided us with the awkward noise,

"Looky here everybodddyyyy, Sirius and Lillllyyy!" and she giggled, I shot daggers at her as she knew full well that Sirius and I were just friends. I looked briefly over at James and saw his expression was stormy. Sirius must have noticed to as he hastily withdrew his arm.
Looking at his pained expression made me question his intentions, seeing him sitting there, looking truly upset at Sirius, I questioned him internally. Maybe he honestly did like me, and just didn't know what to say? No, I was over thinking this, he's James Potter, winner of the arrogant toe-rag award of the 21st century.

"You know she's like a sister to me! And you're practically my brother!"
I had just ripped into Sirius. I had finally had enough of Sirius flirting with Lily when he knew how much I liked her,
"Yeah I know that! But seeing you flirting with her makes me so mad!"
"Yeah man I know and I'm sorry but you know I'm a naturally flirty person" he replied, he carried on;
"Can I ask you a question? I promise it will stay secret if you answer truthfully" And as if the severity of the situation wasn't clear before, he crossed his heart with a silly sincere look on his face.

Feeling my anger waning and trying not to laugh I said
"Go ahead Master Black, ask me the question you so desire to ask"
"Do you love Lily Evans"
WOW.

I could her somebody breathing really loudly, only to realise it was me.
I did not expect that, let alone from Sirius… Did I love her?
I guess that was the question I should have been asking myself since about two years ago...

Did I love Lily Evans?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any recognizable characters. Everything is J.K Rowling's. The only thing I own is my original story lines/plots. I may have used some quotes or references that I also do not own. J.K Rowling is the amazing writer who thought of everything.

Author's Note: A little note from me, just wanted to say that guys, everyone loves a review. Even just a couple of words, if you can take ten minutes out of your day to read my story than you could take another thirty seconds to write me a review. Reviews are not only for my benefit but for any of you who follow my story, leave me a review and then I'll know what need to change and what you want to see happen.

Thanks muffins, Amy