Chapter 3: The First Blossoming
"Renji?" Byakuya said, raising an eyebrow curiously as he entered the sixth division office, "Why are you here so early?"
The redhead didn't look up from his work.
"Ah, hell, couldn't sleep," he muttered, "Figured I might as well get something done while I was not sleeping."
"Hmmm," said the noble, sitting down at his desk.
Byakuya picked up a report, frowned and set it down, looked at a few others, then glanced over at his subordinate.
"Abarai…I know I told you that certain reports must be done by your own hand. If you are going to have someone else do them, at least have the same person do all of them so that it isn't so very obvious…although I must say, I do appreciate receiving reports in handwriting I can actually read."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Renji asked, looking up, "I did all of those this morning! I didn't have anyone do them for me."
"Then how do explain this?" asked the noble shaking his head in annoyance and holding up two of the reports, which when held up next to each other revealed two different handwriting styles.
Renji frowned and squinted at them.
"I must have been thinking about different things when I wrote them or something," he concluded.
"I see," said Byakuya, sighing and turning back to his work.
He watched out of the corner of his eye as he and Renji continued to work, and when the redhead brought the next stack of reports over, he scanned them carefully.
There are at least three different writing styles here…all of them neat and readable?
What is going on?
Without looking up, he quietly scanned his subordinate's reiatsu.
It seems relatively normal, though slightly low, but that could be lack of sleep…
A hell butterfly floated into the office and settled on Renji's desk.
"Well?" Renji said, frowning and trying to lift the insect onto his finger, "What do you want?"
The hell butterfly settled on his desk again and began to emit soft beeps.
"Are you going to take that message?" Byakuya said, not looking up.
"Aw, hell, the thing's malfunctioning or something," the redhead complained, "It won't give me the message!"
Byakuya shook his head in annoyance and left his desk. He walked to Renji's and coaxed the hell butterfly onto his finger.
"This is Kuchiki taichou requesting security override and transmission of message for Abarai fukutaichou," he said quietly.
"Abarai fukutaichou," said the third seat's voice, "The seal we placed on that old garganta in Karakura Town broke free again. We have tried repairing the seal, but need a fukutaichou level to set a new one."
"Damn it…" mumbled Renji, standing.
"Do not concern yourself," said the noble, "You have finished everything here anyway. Go and replace the seal and take a long lunch break to collect yourself."
"Oh, thanks Taichou," Renji said, picking up Zabimaru, "You want me to bring you something from the noodle shop? I got kinda hungry this morning and stole your chicken curry."
"You what?" asked Byakuya, straightening and blinking.
"S-sorry Taichou. I was just real hungry and I hoped you wouldn't mind, but you weren't around to ask…and I couldn't go out, because it was too early to order that stuff. All of the shops were closed, and…"
"But you despise spicy food…"
Renji shrugged.
"I don't know," he said, "I guess I just…"
"Never mind," the noble said, waving off his answer, "Just bring me something then."
"Okay Taichou," Renji said, starting towards the door.
Byakuya glanced up at him for a moment, then looked back at his work. A moment later, his eyes widened and he looked up at the redhead, squinting.
"Is uh…everything all right, Taichou?" Renji asked, startling him.
"Wh-what? Oh, of course," Byakuya said, blinking several more times and returning to his work, "It was nothing. Get moving, Renji, before menos grande start breaking through that seal. And give Rukia my greetings."
"She's still in Karakura Town?" mused Renji, scratching his head.
"Yes, Abarai, we discussed this yesterday," Byakuya said reprovingly, "Have you forgotten already?"
"Oh…that's right," Renji said, blushing slightly, "Sorry, Taichou…it slipped my mind."
"Hmmm…" Byakuya said.
Renji walked out and closed the door. A moment later, Byakuya looked up thoughtfully at the closed door.
I must have imagined it. For a moment, it looked like the tattoos over his eyebrows disappeared…
Odd…
XXXXXXXXXX
Renji sighed softly as he left the senkaimon and dropped down into the park near Urahara Kisuke's shop. It felt odd going back to Karakura Town after having avoided the place for so long. He knew that staying away was pointless. He was always going to remember, even though he stayed away. He had told himself that a thousand times, and if that wasn't enough, Byakuya had told him the same thing several times more.
He flinched uncomfortably at the twinge he got in his abdomen as he thought of his taichou. It seemed to happen whenever Byakuya crossed his mind…a small, painless twinge, a quiver in his reiatsu.
Renji was suddenly distracted out of his thoughts as he realized he was looking at Kurosaki Ichigo.
He froze, staring as the youth walked in his direction, then turned and made his way down to the shore of the river. Renji bit his lower lip, considering, then followed him. He paused several feet away, studying his friend and giving a sigh of longing.
"I know you can't hear me," he said quietly, "but we haven't given up. Rukia is stationed here now. She's working with Kisuke to try to figure something out. I'm uh, sorry…that I haven't been around…not that you'd notice, but I feel kinda bad about it. I just wish you'd look at me. I wish you'd at least look around and say you could feel my presence. Damn…I hate this. Ichigo…I really hate this."
He drew a soft, surprised breath as Ichigo's head lowered and he spoke in a very soft voice.
"I don't know if anyone's there…but if you are, then I'm glad. I miss being able to see and talk to you. But it's okay, you know. I chose this. I did it to protect the people I care about…and I'm not sorry."
"I know," Renji said, resting a hand on a shoulder that couldn't feel his touch, "and I don't regret it either. Thank you, Ichigo."
He turned and walked away, hating himself for the tears that ran down his face.
I can't seem to stop doing this lately. And it's not just about Ichigo. Everything seems to hit me harder, for some reason.
What is wrong with me?
"Renji?"
Shit…
"Yeah," he said, looking away and brushing at his eyes, "What're you doing here, Rukia?"
"Probably the same thing you are. I wanted to see him. He always walks this way."
Renji shook his head.
"Try again. I'm here because the seal on the garganta near here that I set way back whenever decided to come unsealed, so I came to fix it."
"Is that why you were crying?" she asked softly.
Damn it…never could get anything past her…
"It's okay. I cry about it sometimes too. It helps to get it out of your system."
"Does it?" he asked gruffly.
"Yeah," she went on, "But if you really want to start to feel better, you should talk about it with your friends. You've been hiding for long enough. Nobody's stupid enough to think that you aren't as broken up as we are about this, even though you try to stay away and to pretend it didn't happen. But the truth is…that until you deal with it…look it in the face, it's going to keep knocking you down like this. It's not going to get any better if you just keep doing the same dumb thing."
"Screw you, Kuchiki…" he muttered, "You and your idiot brother…"
"Hey!" Rukia yelled, kicking at him and barely missing as he stepped back, "What do you mean, talking about my brother that way! It's bad enough you said that about me! But don't you dare bring Byakuya into this!"
Renji caught his breath and dropped to his knees, the air going dark around him. His head spun and Rukia's voice went quiet.
What's happening?
Did I…pass out?
Why?
He drifted in the darkness for what seemed like a long time, and he figured that it must have been about half a day, when he opened his eyes and found himself in one of the rooms at Urahara Kisuke's. He looked up at the window, noting that night had fallen and groaned, knowing that Byakuya would probably get after him for not taking care of the seal…and for not returning as expected.
"Great…" he sighed, sitting up.
The door opened and Tessai walked in, carrying a tray bearing tea and warm cookies.
"T-tessai?" he queried.
"Yes," the man said, nodding, "Urahara-san said that you needed an energy boost. You lost consciousness because of low reiatsu. He restored it, but he said that some tea and sweets would perk you up a bit."
"Ugh," groaned Renji, "I have to get back. Taichou will be all over my ass about not resealing that garganta."
"Kuchiki Rukia took care of that, and she told your subordinates that you had taken ill. They took word back to Kuchiki taichou and he replied to us that you should stay here tonight and only return in the morning if we checked you out and you were all right. He also told us to remind you…"
"Augh…that he wants me to go to the 4th and get checked out. I keep telling him, last time it was because I was injured in a battle…and I haven't been sleeping well. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I mean, Kisuke didn't find anything really wrong with me, right?"
"Well, no," admitted Tessai, "but that doesn't mean that you are necessarily fine. In any case, have some tea and rest. Rukia-chan will be by to see you later."
That's a good reason to try sleeping…
"Uh, okay, thanks," Renji said, nodding and taking a cookie from the tray.
Tessai watched to make sure that he finished the first cookie and some of the tea before bowing and leaving him alone. Renji was surprised that he finished the whole plate of cookies and all of the tea before dropping off into a comfortable slumber.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Oh…" Renji groaned, coming awake in the early morning darkness and clenching his abdomen.
He stumbled to his feet and went into the bathroom, then dropped to his knees and emptied his stomach. He reached up and turned the water faucet on and tried to be quiet so that the others wouldn't hear him.
The last damned thing I want is to have them hovering over me all day. I just ate too many of those stupid cookies or something, but they'll act like there's something wrong with me. I have to get outta here before they all wake up…
He stayed on his knees until the discomfort left him, then flushed the toilet and washed his hands and face at the sink. He looked into the mirror as he finished and let out a surprised yelp.
Wh-what the hell?
He opened his yukata and studied the tattoos on his chest, blinking and staring, hoping that what he had seen in the mirror was a mistake. But the tattoos had taken on a blurriness around the edges.
Kami!
He staggered out of the bathroom and back to the bed, grabbing Zabimaru and sitting down cross legged on the bed. He balanced his blade tip down and focused, reaching out with his mind to connect with the nue inside the sword.
"Zabimaru?"
There was no response.
"Oi, Zabimaru! Wake up, you bastards!"
There was another long pause.
"Is that you, Renji?" yawned the baboon, "Why are you bothering us before noon? Hollows to kill?"
"No, damn it! Tell me, are you guys fucking with me or what?"
"Eh? What does he want now?" complained Snakey, "You have a bad dream about getting smothered by her huge butt?"
"Shut up!" the baboon snapped, "Our idiot master has a problem! What's the problem, Renji?"
"Did you do that, just now? Did you mess with my tattoos?"
"What? We were asleep. Why would we…?"
"You'd better not be screwing with me, you stupid asses!"
"Eh? What're you talking about, Renji?"
Renji looked down at his chest and blinked in surprise.
What the fuck? It looks normal now. They have to be playing games with me!
"Very funny, assholes!" he thought, cutting off the connection before the two spirits could object.
"I can't believe I let them screw with me like that…" he muttered, sheathing his blade.
He saw light on the horizon outside and dressed hurriedly. Afterwards, he slipped out the window and walked back to the park where he had seen Ichigo. He stood for a moment, watching the sun rise, then opened a senkaimon and crossed back over into the Seireitei. He walked slowly back in the direction of the sixth division, enjoying the cool air and the peace and quiet. He didn't know why, but everyone's voices around him seemed to be unnaturally loud lately. Sometimes, even their thoughts were too loud. It was nice to be alone and to let his mind go blank for a while.
He reached the sixth division and found that, once again, he had arrived at work before Byakuya. But as he sat down at his desk, a hell butterfly floated up to his desk and set down on it, ignoring him, as the last one had.
"Well?" he said gruffly, "What do you want?"
"This is a private message for Abarai Renji," said Byakuya's voice.
"Gah! I AM fucking Abarai Renji!" he shouted, "Give me the damned message, will you?"
"This is a private message for Abarai Renji," Byakuya's voice repeated.
"Augh! Damn!" the redhead yelled, slowly banging his head on his desk along with the words, "Damn…damn…damn, what's wrong with me?"
He shot a tiny shakkahou spell at the hell butterfly, which flitted out of the way, scented his reiatsu, then finally yielded his message.
"Abarai fukutaichou," said Byakuya's voice, "I have taken a detachment to provide relief to the Hueco Mundo outpost, but will return this afternoon. If you arrive at the division and receive this message before I return, please remember to check in at…"
"AUGH!" yelled Renji, "AT THE FUCKING FOURTH DI-FUCKING-VISION! I FUCKING KNOW!"
He jumped out of his chair and fled the office, flash stepping back to his apartment, locking himself inside and throwing himself back in bed.
Great…I left my blade at the division… Can I just fucking die now?
Ah, he would have known I got the hell butterfly anyway. I'll just take a couple of days off and tell him it was just the flu or something.
Maybe he'll forget about the fourth division.
I hate that place, just fucking hate it…
It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the needles.
He barely managed to get to the bathroom before he threw up, just from thinking about needles…