Sorry I've taken so long, family, and school-jeez!

i want to thank everyone whos been reading and keeping up with addles story!:3

The feeling of death washed over me, it was pitch black, my body ached, and all I wanted to do was go back to where ever I'd been that had felt so nice. But the problem was, my body didn't want to cooperate, as i lay there my stomach cramped from hunger, my throat was parched, and everything just felt wrong. I couldn't bend my right hand, something hard and abrasive constricted me.

I slowly decided to become one with the world again, though god knows I didn't want too...

I groaned, my muscles all seemed to start aching in unison and worst of all, I hadn't even moved yet. Forcing my eyes open the first thing I saw was Aldo, he was leaning over me, i noted how gaunt his face looked, stubble adorning it, though through all of that what stood out the most was the look of reprieve resting on his consonance.

I smiled weakly at him, attempting to talk was out of the question. He only smiled back, his eyes seemed to carry anguish, I could tell he was blaming himself, it was written all over his pitiful face.

"Addle I'm so sorry..." He clasped my hand within his, his warmth radiated up my arm and into my entire body. I could only squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"How long have I been asleep?" I forced out hoarsely.

Aldo closed his eyes and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles before sighing bitterly.

"Three very, very long days..." He answered as if it pained him, he wouldn't look at me any longer, I don't recall ever seeing the Lieutenant so broken.

"Aldo." I whispered, he still stared at my bed, he was in deep thought. "i'm fine, really. I'm as tuff and stubborn as a mule, you know that."

As I said this I hoped he was listening, as it was paining me a great deal to speak at all.

"Addle, you almost died cuz of me...Hugo told me how you bawled until you finally passed out..." Aldo slowly released my hand and stood up, revealing to me a body fast asleep in a chair across the room, it was Hugo.

"I know he's blamin' himself too.."

I looked up at Aldo, he shook his head, "he hasn't moved from that spot sense y'all got back...won't eat..won't fight.."

I glanced at Aldo, surely he was joking? Hugo not fighting...It just didn't seem natural.

He drew his attention back to me,

"Alright, you need to eat somethin' I'll be right back. The guys'll be happy your up." He smiled, sullenness giving way to a form of excitement. quietly shutting the door, he left me to my thoughts...and not to mention, Hugo.

I stared at the still man across the room, watching his chest rise and fall.

Never in my life do I think I had seen Hugo so vulnerable, it was a bit unsettling to say the least.

In doing this I went against my own will, I bit my tongue. circumstance had brought him to me, and i wasn't really in the mood to "wait" especially now that I had just awoken from a sort of trauma induced coma. going against my better judgement I whispered,

"..Hugo.."

In my mind this utterance wasn't nearly loud enough to be heard and under normal circumstances it probably wouldn't have been, but I watched his breath hitch and his eyes flutter open. His bright animalistic gaze caught my terrified stare , and without trouble.

He quickly rose from his chair, a look within his eyes I had never seen before, a look of almost pure terror.

"Addle..."

I smiled weakly back at him, trying not to cower at the almost dangerous stare, his eyes seemed to pass me right over, like he was shocked that he was even standing before me, i could feel blood rushing to my face, only because his gaze was one of meeting god.

He kneeled at my bed side, sorrow imbedded within his almost whimsied eyes.

"...bist du in Ordnung?" (Are you alright?)

The way he stared into my eyes, the remorse imbedded within his words, I had never seen him in such a state, a man I had held in such high standards, someone I thought could singlehandedly make his way to The Fuhre, now this man looked like a lost child, something broken and vulnerable.

I could feel warm tears pricking the back of my eyes, I didn't know why I felt this way, I didn't want to see him like this. Something about his vulnerability was slowly tearing me away on the inside.

"I..I'm fine..."

I took his hand and forced a smile, inwardly cursing myself, ashamed of my weakness.

I began to remember the hand around my neck, my throat burned with new blistering energy. Pursing my lips as I continued to force back those damned tears, both from physical and emotional pain. I glanced over too the window, feeling his eyes on me. His hand caressed my cheek, causing me to jump, which in turn embarrassed me just a tad.

He gently coaxed me into looking him in the eye once more, his pools of aqua green entranced me, I felt secure within them, no matter how much sadness and self loathing they held within them.

Slowly, he leaned forward, his warm breath on my lips. I could hear my heart in my ears, beating impossibly fast, the heat that radiated through his touch, I had never met a man so capable of turning me into complete putty.

Before I knew what had hit me, Hugo's lips were on mine.

his kiss was sweet, sweeter than I would have ever expected from one of his disposition. My shock was quickly forgotten as I tried to remember how to breath, I softly began kissing him back, his lips were like velvet. With all of my being I couldn't have wanted more, the feelings bubbling within me were enough to send me over the edge. never in my life had I felt so wanted, nor felt a kiss with so much emotion behind it, and to say the least it had came from Hugo. This kiss held no lust or intent within it, only affection, only reprieve.

It felt like a thousand years had passed, like everything I had ever wanted had been accomplished and I was now a satisfied old woman on her death bed by the time he let me go.

The look he held within his gaze made me want to breakdown, he held the look of sullen relief, perhaps he was glad he had finally done that, I know I sure as hell was.

Before I had time to react Aldo had walked in,tray in hand, a look on his face. Now I didn't quite know what that look meant but I knew my stomach was about to devour its self at the delicious smells wafting from what ever was on that tray.

Hugo stood up and nodded to Aldo before exiting, I was sure a solid blush was planted on both of our faces.

Aldo smirked,

"I figured he had somethin for yah…"

I bit my lip to keep from smiling, still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"Anyway, I know you don't like squirrel, but its fatty and it should fill yah up good."

I only nodded as he sat the tray on my lap, I remember thinking strips of charred meat had never looked so good. I didn't waist anytime wolfing down my meager meal, not even caring that I was eating cooked rodent. I didn't even care that Aldo was watching me shove food into my mouth with a humored look on his brow. I just knew that sore throat or not I was eating something regardless and my stomach was purring like a snoozing lioness fat on fresh antelope.

"oh my god…" I gasped, having chugged an entire glass of water, my voice returning slowly, though still hoarse.

"I cant remember the last time squirrel tasted so good.."

Aldo snickered.

"So what was that between you and stiglitz?"

I stifled an embarrassed yelp, wondering why he would even care.

"I...I don't exactly know to be honest..."

A blush quickly painting itself onto my cheeks, why else would he have kissed me?

"I suppose he fancies me? Or just feels sorry for me."

I raised a brow at the statement, making Aldo grin.

"Now 'Ats were your wrong. Don't no body here pity you, if anything, you got yerself a new earned respect."

He sat down on the bed, taking my trey from me and sitting it on the nightstand.

I raised a brow,

"Your saying I had no respect before?" I said jokingly, feeling almost a thousand times better with food in my belly.

"And if I do recall, I'm owed for my services. I expect a sapphire brooch for that damn rodeo.."

He ran a hand through his dark hair that was just starting to show signs of age.

"Don't worry darlin' I assure you you'll get anything your pretty little head wants-and then some."

I sat up, crossing my legs while ignoring my body's protest.

"So what's become of Abendroth?"

At this Aldo grinned, he lay back on the bed, hands behind his head.

"Ol' Abendroth...He was a slimy sum' bitch-"

I cut him of.

"Was?"

"Bastard hemorrhaged last night." Aldo's face held the look of pure content, "though, I did get my kicks in I guess...got some information, stayed up these last three days, taking my time with the bastard."

My heart leaped, Aldo did that for me?

My sick curiosity got the better of me as I leaned in closer.

"What did you do to him?"

"Well first night...Hugo carried you in, Wiki was draggin' Abendroth in behind y'all...now I ain't gonna lie, I lost it, called all three of 'em men every got damn name in the book. I ordered Hugo to take you to your room, while I took Abendroth downstairs. That night I just beat the shit outta him when he woke up...

Second night I interrogated him, he didn't wanna talk so I gave him a choice, I said either I cut off your man hood or crush your fingers one by one with a pair o' pliers...eh, he cussed me out good. Up until I started on his hands, crushed his fingers, then I cut 'em off...he got a bit quieter, aside from the screams. But I could deal with that better than his damned talkin bout his 'superior race' blah, blah, blah... I cauterized his wounds before he could bleed out though...but he just got to me, I went to far last night, didnt staunch the blood quick enough...but eh" he shrugged, "last night was just over kill, I'd got what I wanted from him already..."

I sighed and turned my gaze to the window, feeling Hugo's lips ghosting on mine.

"And that information would be?"

I pressed, getting those clouding feelings out of my head.

"Just the sight of a temporary camp...apparently he was spost' to be there two days ago to take them to their permanent base...rations outta be runnin out n' what not... So I was thinkin we'd pay 'em a little visit..."

I watched as he fell back into deep thought, or at least contemplation.

"Anyways girly I'm glad your okay, freshen up and come downstairs and socialize before we go." He said suddenly, patting me on the leg, he picked up the trey and began walking out.

"Aren't I going?"

Aldo turned and stood silent for a second,

"...I wasn't planning on it...I figured you would want a few days to recover."

I put my hands on my hips and cocked my head,

"Aldo Raine, a nazi almost killed me. I am pissed. And I need to bash someone's face in."

He sighed,

"I'll think about it...but fer now just get up if you plan on doin anything."

He said in that typical southern draw and left me to my thoughts, bits and pieces from my predicament were slowly coming forth, no matter how badly I really just wanted to forget about it.

Though the one thing that stuck out to me was the fact that I had died that night, I could hear voices of the long deceased, both the damned and those within Salvation's arms.

My body had been withered away to nothing but an essence and I was floating between the rift of heaven and hell, not knowing exactly where I was destined to find eternal refuge.

But within my internal conflict I could feel warmth snaking its way around my limps, coiling within my ribs and into my heart. It pulled me away, I was being yanked back to earth. I didn't want to leave, I was finally free, for a fleeting moment I was at peace even if I had been uncertain of my final resting place.

The earthly heaviness returned to my being, the pain returned and every clingy and damp sardonic article of clothing returned to my body just to taunt my very existence.

I could feel it, the source of my return, the thing that had rushed into my being, whiskey tinged oxygen.

I didn't want to return, especially not after being teased with such treasures.

With every last fiber of my being I wanted to go back to that place, never wake up, but my peace just wasn't meant to be. Noises rushed into my already pounding head, pain exploded within my throat and I could still feel that source, providing me with everlasting oxygen.

The warmth left my lips, replaced with a sharp clout to my cheek. I forced my eyes open, everything was hazy, everything felt so foreign, like I shouldn't have been there. I was alive once more, even if everything within me had actually wished my attacker had choked every last bit of life from within me.

I remember the first thing I had saw upon my return, Hugo.

It was just dawning on me that he had been the source, He had grounded me back to earth, he had saved my life.

I couldn't help but simper, realizing that now I owed Hugo, even if I didn't for the first time he saved my ass.

I scratched my head, a bit scared as I felt knots- I had a terrible tender head.

Slowly I pulled the warm covers from my body, I noticed bruises and scrapes dotting the back of my legs and arms. My right wrist was undoubtably broken, and my whole body just ached in general. I forced myself up, groaning as my muscles stretched and my joints popped. I caught Hugo's scent on the white button up, which caused me to smile just a bit, I slowly made my way to the vanity, afraid to even glance at myself.

"You can do this Addle, your a big girl."

I squeezed my eyes closed and stepped in front of the mirror, I counted to three, and very nervously snapped my eyes open. Utterly appalled I gaped at the poor woman staring back at me. Besides running mascara, the wildly untamed hair and the look of exhaustion ghosting on my features- I now understood my source of discomfort, I was sporting a large purple and sickly yellow bruise that covered most of my neck, that was surely why my throat hurt so bad, it hurt to swallow or even form a coherent sentence. i gently fingered the sickly thing, sharp pains exploded within my neck and at the base of my skull, yes. I absolutely felt like death warmed over.

I forced myself to take a shower and get dressed, though part of me wished I could've sat in there forever and let the soothing hot water run down my body.

After pulling on a dark coat and equipping myself with two hand guns and a hunting knife I made my way downstairs, curious as to how everyone was doing. Immediately Donny had snatched me up, squeezing the air out of me,

"Damn Addle you had us worried!"

He exclaimed, everyone joining in with incoherent calls of affection, their high spirits making me wonder how exactly they had gotten along for three days, uncertain when and if I would wake up.

Not long after, we got down to business. Aldo prepped us on the locations and whereabouts he had forced from Klaus Abendroth.

"Is everyone clear on what they're to do?"

Aldo took a puff of his cigar before folding up the map and sticking it in his coat pocket.

"Than lets get the hell outta here and go kill us some nazis."

At this everyone couldn't help but howl with eager impatience, we had been out of commission for to long, even if it had been a week.

Every man in the room was lusting, not only for blood, but revenge, and I couldn't say I felt any different.

The Addle at the hideout and the woman in the field were two completely different entities, one a sympathizing human, the other a blind blood thirsting beast.

I couldn't wait to let that other side out...

I couldn't remember much of what happened on the way there, everyone was silent the entire 3hour ride, each full of rage that was not to be controlled.

I sat up front with Aldo and Donny, I hadn't seen Hugo sense our "contact" but I was sure he was in the back with everyone else.

We finally arrived, we were surrounded by thick brush and tall trees, miles from civilization. As we made our silent exit from the vehicle Aldo began giving hand signals. My blood was pumping, rushing through my veins, my body was quivering with anticipation, my face stern. This was the rush I needed.

Aldo motioned Hugo to a near by brush, and to my surprise Hugo motioned for me to follow, though it did not dawn on me to get flustered as timid Addle had already been taken by the beast.

I nodded and we dispersed, the crunching of leaves underfoot only made my heart beat faster and battle letch grow. We took cover crouched within the dead vegetation, I could hear Hugo's heartbeat, rivaling my own.

I glanced over, catching him staring at me, the ghost of a smirk toying with his lips.

He caught me off guard, looking away before whispering,

"I'm glad your okay."

No matter how battle lusted I was, my mind had understood that loud and clear,

I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks.

He read my expression through the corner of his eyes, I could feel a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Hugo your distracting me damn it."

I tried not to look at him as to hide my blush, He only chuckled before standing, back against the tree, waiting for a signal of attack.

I remained crouched against the tree, staring at my black pistols, unlatching the safety, anxious as could be. I noted how unnaturally quiet the forest was, the birds didnt sing, the wind didnt blow, it was as if mother nature was in waiting.

Before I knew what was happening Hugo had snatched up the back of my jacket, pulling me to my feet before running over an incline, It was time. I followed in pursuit, all at once yells and gunshots began to pound against my eardrums, the only sounds that truly excited me.

I loved unloading my lead into warm bodies, war cries escaped my throat. It was as if the warm crimson liquid drenching the earth had somehow slaked my thirst and rejuvenated my raw throat.

This was definitely a temporary camp, rows among rows of tents painted the forest white, more men than I could imagine were counter attacking, our only advantage was catching them off guard. I didn't worry to much though, our snipers were making quick work of most of them.

My hot lead was finding its home within many warm bodies, taking up with The Basterds I had gone from simple girl to cold blooded murderer within a few months. I had killed 56 men, I knew this only because of my scalps. But even 100 wouldn't be enough, I knew that even if I lived to see the war end I wouldn't be the same...something within me would still yearn to devour mankind.

I was pulled from my thoughts as Aldo barked,

"Ace damn it cover me!"

I snapped my head back, seeing Aldo crouched behind a tree, angry germans converging around him as he repeatedly smacked the butt of his gun, it was jammed.

"Coming!"

My vision seems to pulsate with my heartbeat, my maxed out adrenaline allowed me to take out all of the men without error as Aldo fiddled with is gun.

I was five yards away as he finally smacked the gun back into commission, exclaiming with poison,

"Piece of shit!"

Before running back into the action.

Within minutes the world had fallen silent, bodies littered the wood, the guys began to salvage what they could from the camp and load it into the back of the truck before scalping the dead- this ordeal was a 'first come, first serve' basis, though no one was really competitive or pushy about it for the simple reason of, who was in a hurry to pay their dept.? No one here was in a hurry to stop killing, though it wasn't really like anyone was going to stop after their 100th.

I had taken to dispatching those who hid with the kiss of a knife to the throat, I had decided this was my favorite way of dispatching aside from torture, I liked to hear them bleed out and drown in there own blood simultaneously. I did this alone, letting out my anger and wrath as everyone else settled to begin interrogation or stayed on look out, they knew I wanted to do this alone, I held no fear for the Nazis, only wrath and hatred.

By the time we had finished I was up to 62 scalps, I had my new ones hanging on a large metal ring on my belt loop. Soon everyone had settled in the middle of the camp, sitting in a loose circle, eager to begin.

Three captives were kneeling with their hands on their heads, the looks of fear in their eyes caused a new blood lust to rush into existence.

I bit my lip. Hirschberg had a gun pointed to their backs as they bit they're own lips to keep from whimpering. We had no idea their ranks or names, they had all been in some form of sleep wear.

I sat on a crate, elbows resting on my knees, eager to see what was to become of the captives. Donny was violently practicing his swing and twirling his Louisville slugger, his nostrils flaired and I could see the bloodlust within his dark brown eyes.

Hugo had taken his place a few feet away from me, fumbling with his knife as we all awaited Aldo's next command.

"Alright, Alright, time to get down to business."

Aldo proclaimed as he took his seat on a crate, I perked as I heard his voice, like a dog awaiting a treat.

"Hirschberg! send baldy over here.."

"Go on!" Hirschberg jammed the back of his gun into a portly balding mans shoulder blades, causing the man to visibly cringe as he struggled to his feet.

He made his way to Aldo who motioned for him to sit. I couldn't help but sneer as he did what he was told, though some could argue this was the same old song and dance, we all looked forward to the end of the battle, when things finally got personal.

His grey eyes darted as Aldo reached into his coat, though he only pulled out a cigar and lit it.

"speak English?"

The man nodded.

"What's your name then?"

The man gulped, sweat beaded on his forehead as he licked his chapped lips.

"L-Lucas." He stammered with thick accent.

Aldo puffed his cigar, seeming to contemplate.

"So Lucas, mind tellin me where y'all was headed?"

A pained look overcame Lucas's face, he didnt want to answer, he bit his lip and looked around.

Aldo flicked the ash from his cigar, grinning.

"Now Lucas I ain't got all day, you need to tell me what you know or Donn-eh here's gonna beat your kraut ass tah' death with his Louisville slugger."

Lucas began to breath heavily, he was fighting and internal battle.

I leaned in closer, smiling with a yearning.

He didnt know what to do, die for his country or betray it for his life, and this thought only heated me more,

"bring es hinter schon!" 'Get it over with already!'

I taunted, earning a chuckle from Hugo.

The other two captives cringed at my words, and I could see the scared shitless looks on their dirt smeared faces, I knew what they were thinking, they had never seen such a woman, a lady out of order, treated as an equal. they wondered what The Basterds had done to make me this way and it scared them.

Lucas slowly replied, pain still reaching his face.

"We-we were on our way to a permanent camp..."

Aldo smirked,

"Mind showin me on this map here where it is?"

The German did as he was told, earning howls of approval from our men. Aldo nodded, smiling with satisfaction.

"Alright, Alright...now go on and tell me a little 'bout your self Lucas, I like to know who I'm talkin' to."

"I...I have a wife...two children, a boy and a girl-"

Also cut him off,

"Mind tellin me they're names?"

Lucas couldn't help but quiver, he was reluctant, perhaps he thought something terrible would befall his family.

"My wife's name is Shelly, my son is 2 his name his August and my daughter is 7 her name is Daniela."

He seemed to struggle with his words as Aldo cocked his brow,

"You lookin' forward to seein your family again?"

Lucas fell to his hands and knees, his face reddening, he resembled a hog to slaughter.

"Yes! Oh dear lord yes! Please please! Let me go, spare me. Those two men are to blame!" He pointed back at the shaking men as he grabbed Aldo's pant leg.

"I've never killed, I've never even harmed a fly. Those two have killed women and children!"

At this one of the soldiers jumped to his feet, causing Hirschberg to stiffen.

"dass Lügen Hurensohn! Er ist genauso schuldig, wenn Sie gehen, um uns zu töten nehmen diesen Bastard mit uns!"

Wicki actually stood at this, walking calmly over to the soldier, he pulled him away from us, though only a few feet, and began having a private conversation.

"Erzähl mir von ihm."

(Tell me about him.)

"Er ist ein Bastard liegend, hat er kleine Mädchen vergewaltigt und getötet Mütter. Ich kann Ihnen sagen, dass keiner von uns haben diesen niedrigen bückte. Er entschied sich, hier zu sein. Wir waren als Männer."

(He's a lying bastard, he's raped little girls and killed mothers. I can tell you none of us have stooped that low. He chose to be here. We were drafted men.)

He pointed at the man still kneeling, shaking like a coward.

"Bitte, wenn ich fahre, so zu sterben, möchte ich nicht, dass Bastard ausleben mich."

(Please, if im going to die like this, i dont want that bastard to out live me.)

This seemed like a long term thing, this was an old conflict between the men.

"Damn it wicki what's he sayin?"

Aldo shooed Lucas from his leg.

"He says Lucas is a liar, says he rapes little girls and said that if he had to die, Lucas was going with him. He also says that him and his friend were drafted men only, Lucas chose to be here."

I snared silently, not even noticing as my attention was brought onto Lucas, the monster.

"So you like em young?"

Aldo stood up, hands on his hips as he circled the portly man.

"They're lying!"

Aldo only stood still and flicked his cigar, smirking.

"Now Lucas you must take me for a fool, I see the flush, I see the sweat, and I see the fear in your beady little pig eyes, fear that I'll see through your shit lie, cuz I did, and now I see yer expression of utter hopelessness. Thinkin bout how your gonna get outta this one. well I can already tell yah yer not."

A weak surge of lust panged within me, Aldo's stern voice, deadly gaze, he seemed ready to kill, bringing the notion of torture, which I was subconsciously waiting for. Few things matched the euphoria of my regular hobbies these days, killing, torture, sex, and eating. Those were the only things that mattered in my universe, simple demands, a bit selfish too perhaps, but they kept me going, basic human urges that were all I could ask for, I never really needed anything else, hell I'd be happy with just the sex and food.

Not that I got around, by no means was I a tramp or whore.

The last and only relationship I had been in had been with a man named Till Krupke, love of my life for three years, he had proposed, we were to be married. My life was simple...Though one thing led to another...Things fell apart... but that's a story for another time.

I clenched my jaw as his dark honey brown eyes penetrated my mind, I could have sworn Till was staring me in the face. I was brought back to earth as Aldo's boot made contact with Lucas's jaw, throwing him back into the cold muddied ground.

"Quit your griping, don't do nothin for ya', just pisses me off."

Aldo kneeled at Lucas's side as the male attempted to sit up,

"I asked you a question."

Lucas searched his memory for that particular question, mouth agape, lips quivering.

"I-I-I...I..."

Aldo pulled out his impressive blade, Lucas's eyes went wide as he beheld the large silver- and not to mention-deadly thing.

"So what, wanna go home?"

Lucas began to nod-

"...pay 'at little girl a visit?"

At this his expression changed drastically, he sneered and spit in Aldo's face,

"I would never do something like that! Your sick people, sick!"

Aldo erupted in a fit of laughter as he wiped the saliva from his brow, while I just watched-eyes glued as if staring at the television, these men had all of my attention.

Aldo finally spoke as his laughter began to die down.

"What a world, raping a little girl is fuckin fine and dandy, but incest is just wrong- you disgust me, and I think it's time for you to shut up for good, that family is probably better off without you."

I pulled myself from my seat, awaiting Aldo's command, blade in hand.

Lucas's eyes blanked for a fleeting moment as he assessed his situation, eyes darting from me to Aldo only to be replaced with a gaze of pure terror.

His mouth seemed to want to spill words, but cries and muffled groans escaped, he reminded me of a child.

I could feel my adrenaline and bloodlust overflow and intermingle, no longer human, just something letching to bring slow painful death.

My throat constricted as unwanted words slipped out,

"Dammit Aldo how long are you going to make me wait?"

My superior turned his head to me, a smirk playing.

"Well hell, go on then."

I bit my tongue, a bit unsettled at the thought of speaking out of turn-and to Aldo for petes sake. He didn't seem to mind, though it bothered me.

But regardless I made my way to Lucas as he backed away with fear in his eyes, and here again came the euphoria, creeping within my marrow. The look within his eyes, knowing I was to cause his death.

I pounced on his chest, the resulting force knocking the air from his lungs, causing him to gag and sputter for air.

I drew closer to his face, whispering so only he could hear,

"Hi, ich bin Addlewolfa Grey."

I prepared to drag the blade down the side of his face when his fist made contact with my jaw, I yelped as I bit my tongue.

"runter von mir, du wertloses Hure!"

(Get off of me you worthless whore!)

I snarled as I recovered from the blow, my head and neck pounding with a fury.

"Now you've found your tongue, eh?"

I spit the metallic blood pooling in my mouth into his face as I grasped him harshly behind the jaw.

"Now seems like a good time to loose it again huh?"

I smiled ferociously, my body was shaking uncontrollably and now I was somehow watching myself from a third person point of view.

I watched with relish as I thrust my fist into his mouth, snatching his tongue and pulling it tight, I cocked my head with insane wonderment as I cut the pink muscle free from his body, blood showered my upper body as I laughed with pure content, this was the final feeling I had been yearning for, something that I couldn't describe, yet something my body knew well.

I could see Lucas's bloodied mouth form into a nonexistent scream and feel his body writhe beneath me, but I could no longer hear him, nor anything around me.

My vision was red and I could hear my laughter break the silence.

I ripped his shirt with my knife and began to slice deeply and viciously, knowing I wanted to inflict as much damage as I could before he either bled out or choked on his own blood.

I finished strong, as I felt his breath grow faint I began to thrust my blade into his chest, burying my blade to the hilt. My body continued to quake as I yanked the knife from his ribcage, his body was still and his breath came to him no longer.

I looked around, the guys each had their own looks of pride and perhaps envy-I knew how badly they wanted to be in my shoes at the moment.

"Nice job girlie."

I lashed out with my blade as I felt a hand on my shoulder, only to draw back with terror as I realized I had cut Aldo's forearm.

"Aldo!"

Jumping up I threw the knife down as he seemed to still be assessing what exactly had just occurred.

"Aldo I'm sorry."

I breathed as I drew a bandana from my coat pocket and took his wrist, I tightened the knot as I looked up at him, his eyes met mine, and within them I drew slight fear and anger.

"I didn't mean too. I was still in the zone you know?"

I laughed nervously, my natural high extinguished in an instant.

"It's fine. I get it."

He jerked away from me, I couldn't understand why. I hadn't meant to, he knew that right? I wasn't going to hurt him...

He turned from me, barking

"Alright boys! The others are yours, do what you want!"

He sounded as if his feelings hadn't changed for the battle, though I stared as he walked into the forest of tents and disappeared within them, wondering what exactly I had done wrong.

"Don't take it too hard, you just scared him a bit."

Wicki was suddenly behind me, cautiously he ghosted his hand above my shoulder before he wrapped an arm around me-he thought I didn't notice but it hurt.

"That's what I was afraid of...I didn't do it on purpose. He knows that right?"

I looked up at the large male with uncertainty,

"You know that...right Wicki?"

"Of course. Just leave him alone, the lieutenant will come back around."

I felt better when he didn't pause to answer my question.

I gazed back over to the tents, Aldo was nowhere to be found and I sighed. I watched from my crate as the men sat to work on there rightful flesh and blood bounty, Wicki stood away from us, leaning into a tree whist puffing on a cigarette, Hugo was nowhere to be found, perhaps wondering around. I noted that he never really did get involved in these sort of things.

I hadn't really kept up with him the whole time we'd been here, but now it didn't matter, I was worrying about my Lieutenant and my place within his being.

I was appalled by what I had done, hell I coulda nicked him with a sheet of paper and still felt like shit afterward.

After the guys finished up we prepared to leave, almost everyone was panting and covered in blood, in they're wake they left two disemboweled, crushed and almost unrecognizable bodies.

As we loaded into the truck I reluctantly pulled Hugo aside, taking him away from the others.

"What's wrong?"

He seemed to be having trouble sounding like he was genuinely concerned while still maintaining his cold disposition. I was having trouble looking him in the eye, especially covered in the constant reminder of Lucas and my encounter with Aldo.

"I was wondering if it would be to much to ask you...if you could take my place upfront-just for today."

I felt odd asking such a favor, but I couldn't face Aldo or even Donny at this point in time.

He didn't smile, its not like I wasn't used to it, but something about his usual somber disposition seemed to tell me he wasn't afraid of me, or at least of what I'd done.

"Of course, its nothing."

I could here the politeness within his voice, but it seemed more friendly than personal, more like he was talking to a buddy or acquaintance.

As I felt his tone hit more at home I couldn't help but feel even more damper, I wanted to know what was wrong with him...but it's not like I had the guts to say anything.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

I forced a small smile as Hugo nodded and disappeared to the front of the truck, I piled into the back of the vehicle before Aldo had the chance to reappear.

The guys talked on the way back, spirits brightened, you coulda swore they had just come back from a weekend stay at the finest brothel in all of Paris. They attempted to include me but I lied, saying I was tired and pulling my coat hood over my eyes to fein sleep, when in all reality I was mentally beating the shit out of myself. Even while no one seemed as disturbed by it as I, I was sure there would be gossip.

I made it a point to sit at the very end of the truck just so I couldn't hear the voices of the three men I was trying to avoid.

That evening I turned in early, showering to clean my body of the reminder of my folly. I didn't even bother to put on a nightgown, I was content to stay wrapped in my thin towel which just seemed way to comfortable at the moment. I stayed awake half of the night, thoughts meandering within my head, as the sky darkened to black I was alit by candle light, the orange flicker pulsating along my body seemingly a representation of the self hatred slowly flowing through my veins.

I had taken to leaning against my headboard, knees pulled to my chest, a dead and numb feeling pulsing throughout my body, I wasn't even thinking anymore, I just sort of existed.

Part of me was hoping for a knock upon my door, though the other half just didn't feel like dealing with anyone.

In the back of my mind I hoped that Aldo would understand that I was just out of it at the time, I hadn't realized it was him.

Though how would I expect him to believe it when I was having trouble believing it myself...

In the end I was forced to pull the covers over my body and force a light and restless sleep, dreams full of blood and things I wished I'd never seen-yet all things I had done to another human being at some point.