Notes: Hey everyone! After a brief hiatus this story is back! Sorry for the wait but both writers of this have individual Star vs. fics that take priority over this one. This chapter may be short, but Chapter 4 will be out in less than a week and is about twice as long, so don't worry!

"Marco Diaz! It is time to wake up!"

"Huh?"

Marco looked up and saw Sir Lavabo towering over him. The bulky elder wasn't exactly the nicest image to wake up to, but it was admittedly better than the usual laser puppy staring you in the eyes. If only because, while definitely cuter, waking up to Barko Diaz's expectant gawking meant risking permanent blindness.

Not wanting to upset his new mentor, Marco quickly got up and put his hoodie back on. The meat blanket was all that remained of his on the floor. Marco questioned whether or not the thing was worth putting back on. The mere image of it brought back embarrassing memories from yesterday.

There was also the fact that it was the final nail in the coffin of his relationship with Jackie. That too...

Finally deciding to just carry the blanket in his front pocket, Marco turned around to notice that Lavabo was carrying a most decidedly unknightly tool with him.

"Um… what's with the shovel?" Marco asked curiously.

"Ah, this." Lavabo looked at his shovel and sighed. "Well, you see, Marco Diaz, I must apologize. You had spent so long in the Lint Catcher, paralyzed with fear, that I was not sure of your chances of survival. So I brought this shovel with me in case it turned out you had died. To give you a proper burial."

"What!?" Marco was taken aback by Lavabo's bluntness. "If you didn't think I was going to make it, then why'd you leave me there by myself?" He literally left Marco there to die!

Lavabo clenched his fist dramatically. "I'm sorry, I had no other choice. My shift always ends at 6:00 p.m. sharp, and overtime is strictly forbidden!"

"Are you serious? That's your reason?" Marco slowly and deliberately stepped further away from Lavabo and closer to the lint catcher's exit. There's no way he'd survive nine months with this lunatic.

"Of course, I would have helped you if you had called out prior, but doing so would terminate your squireship. All squires must pass this trial on their own before starting. It has been the way of the Wash for generations." he explained, solemnly.

"Yeah, whatever," Marco said coldly as he made his way to the wooden stairs. This wasn't worth it. Marco would go to Star and see if there was anyone else he could squire under. He'd beg, if he had to.

"Marco Diaz, please wait!" Lavabo shouted.

Marco stopped and turned around, though he only did that so he didn't come off as rude. He'd hear the old man out and then politely run for his life. "What is it?"

"You always had the option of calling out for help. Deep down you know this to be true. Why didn't you, then?" the old knight asked.

Marco thought it was obvious. Him just speaking was enough to alert the lint creature. Lavabo wouldn't have made it in time.

Then again, he had the scissors, so he did have a way out. So why was it that he hadn't thought of it sooner? Too busy feeling sorry for himself?

Lavabo continued. "It's because your pride wouldn't allow it! Even in the face of death, you stood there for hours until you mustered up the courage to do what needed to be done! All on your own!"

Heh, Marco wasn't gonna argue with that. He was pretty badass last night.

"You are the first squire to successfully clean the Lint Catcher in decades," Lavabo said.

Woah, really? Marco knew what he did was impressive, but not quite on that level.

"I was confused at first, when Princess Star brought in such a timid boy to take on such a daunting task. But after seeing what you have accomplished, I will never doubt her wisdom again. I can now see why she thinks so highly of you."

Wait, did Star know about the Lint Catcher? Did she really think Marco could handle it?

If so, he really did misinterpret her intentions when she brought him down here. Maybe she thought any other place in the castle wouldn't be exciting enough, or enough of a challenge for him.

After all, he did tell Star, back when they first met, that he wanted some danger in his life. And ever since that, she used to drag him into all sort of dangerous adventures. Perhaps she thought that's what he wanted, even if she didn't have the time to go with him.

"I understand why you are upset with me. By even contemplating the possibility that you might fail, I did you a grave disservice. I should have had more faith in you. If a knight does not believe in his squire, then who will?"

Then, without warning, Lavabo held his shovel out with both hands, and snapped it in half with his knee. That was probably meant to be some sort of grand gesture that would move Marco, but to him, it just seemed like a waste of a perfectly good shovel.

Marco awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "Um, I don't hate you or anything, but what you put me through last night was really intense. Maybe you should tone down your newbie trials. You know, ease them into it a little better." It would at least lower the number of child corpses.

Lavabo frowned. "I do not have time for such coddling. The Wash is not a playground. It is a battlefield where only the strongest survive." He held a fist up in the air to punctuate his speech. "That trial is meant to show the squire that harsh truth first hand."

Well, it certainly worked.

"You show great potential, Marco Diaz. I never had a squire in the forty years I've been here, not for more than a night. I grow older with each day, and cannot keep up with this place. I need you. If you were to leave now, it would be one of Mewni's greatest tragedies."

Geez, now Marco was starting to feel bad for the guy. There was such sincerity in Lavabo's voice that Marco knew he wasn't exaggerating.

The squire sighed. Alright, what the hell. How much worse could it get?

"Well, if there's literally no one else who can squire for you, then I guess I don't have a choice," Marco said, shrugging.

Lavabo beamed at the boy and clapped. "Ha ha, excellent! You are indeed a brave soul!"

Marco attempted to hide the fact that he was blushing. "Heh, um, thanks."

"We will begin today's work in a half-hour. Use that time however you like," Lavabo said, as he made his way outside the lint catcher.

"Hold on a sec," Marco said. "I need to find out where I'll be staying during the night. Do each Knight and Squire get their own room or…"

"Ah. I forgot you are from another dimension. The way it works here is that people live in these things called 'houses' that are located within 'towns.'"

"Um, yeah. We have those on Earth too." Marco rolled his eyes. "But I'm supposed to be living with the Butterfly family, so shouldn't I get a room in the castle?" It stated such on Marco's Foreign Exchange Student papers. Granted those documents were technically forged, but still! He couldn't just sleep in the lint catcher every night! Right?... Right?!

Lavabo shrugged. "You'll have to discuss it with the queen, then. If it doesn't work out, though, you are free to stay at my home."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine." Marco just had to apologize to Star for how he acted yesterday and then she would princess him his own room.

Marco leaped off the lint catcher and ran towards the sub-basement stairs, but was stopped short.

"Uh, what is this?" Marco asked, confused by the sight.

What stood in front of the squire was a mountain of clothing and garments. The number of articles of clothing must have been in the thousands. No, scratch that, tens of thousands. Marco couldn't even see the wall behind, but was positive that was where a large door and two pickup windows were located. He was completely blocked off from exiting The Wash.

"Today's workload is particularly daunting," Lavabo said, examining the pile thoughtfully. "You couldn't have come at a better time!"

"W-where did all this come from?" Marco recalled seeing a few big piles on his way out to find Star last night, but it wasn't anything like this.

"This is the bulk of laundry from the villagers, who live outside the castle. It gets delivered here early in the morning. In addition to that, we have piles that belong to knights, squires, castle staff, and high nobility respectively."

Marco looked around the large room. Lavabo was right. Four smaller but still frighteningly large piles surrounded them. One of them was nothing but blood-and-dirt-stained armor, which probably meant it was the knights'.

"We need to wash and organize all this before 6:00," Lavabo said.

"Oh boy," Marco said under his breath. He was in for a long day.

"If you need to leave before we begin, you can just dig your way out. It will all get cleaned in the end." Lababo said.

Marco kept his distance from the exit. "You sure these piles won't just float in the air and form into some type of bloodthirsty monster?"

"Sure? Ah, young squire, the only certainty is that nothing is certain!" Lavabo chuckled. "No need to worry. We will encounter other threats such as those in the lint catcher, but infrequently. These clothes should all be fine. Just stay away from the knight pile. Small creatures and curses from the forest tend to cling to their armor."

Marco felt like he should be taking notes. Not knowing this stuff could be the death of him. "So, if this stuff had been here since this morning, how did you manage to get inside?"

"I digged a hole, as always. That shovel wasn't just meant for you," Lavabo said. "Now if you excuse me, young squire, I have a hole in the ceiling I must fix before we begin."

Once Lavabo was out of sight, Marco took out his scissors.

He wanted to at least apologize to Star before beginning the day. He would just open a portal right outside Star's room and then politely knock on the door like a decent person.

Before Marco created a portal, something caught his attention. Something green that was on top of the smallest very-big pile of clothing.

"My bag!"

Marco climbed to the top of the pile to retrieve his bag. Yesterday he was so busy being manhandled by knights that he forgot to take his luggage with him. But how did it end up here?

The squire looked above him and saw the end of a large laundry chute. Below him were several elegant gowns, blue coats, and childish dresses.

Ah. Star must have pushed his bag down the laundry chute to deliver it to him.

Marco opened the bag to make sure everything was still inside, and found a folded piece of paper. He read what was on it.

Hey Marco! Um… sorry for not checking up on you last night! I had to make a diplomatic visit to the Underworld and didn't get home til late. You know how it is with being a princess, since you're technically one as well! (LOL)

Anyway, I hope you're having fun down there. Lavabo is actually a really cool guy, isn't he? Maybe we can meet up later and talk about… stuff!

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So... a lot has happened here recently. Did you know Glossaryck came back to life and now he's some weird man-baby? I'm not sure if he's better or worse this way. And don't even get me started on the Eclipsa drama, but I'll have to explain that can of worms to you in person.

Best Wishes - Star Butterfly, Princess and Future Queen of the Butterfly Kingdom
(p.s. Tom said he can't wait to hang out with you again. But don't tell him I said that!)

Marco smiled. It was good to know Star didn't harbor a grudge against him. It was clear from her writing that she was in a better mood than yesterday. In addition to the cute touches like the fact that she literally wrote 'um,' there were also several doodles scattered across the page. One depicted Marco wearing armor while holding a mop and bucket. There were a couple of unreadable sentences in the middle that had been all blotted out with ink, but maybe that had just been her correcting a mistake or something?

He was still planning to apologize to Star, of course, but at least it wouldn't be as awkward as he thought.

Marco put the paper aside and looked further in the bag, hoping to find some kind of room key Star left for him, but there was no such item inside.

He sighed. Oh well, it probably didn't cross her mind. He just needed to see her before the day was over.

Determined, Marco zipped up the bag and went searching for Lavabo. The sooner he finished what needed to be done, the sooner he could go meet with Star!