Kez Gets Another Job.o.o
Yay, gotta 'nuther one up! ^-^ Meh, I can't decide whether it's "Grandma" or "Gramma" Stuffum. . EVIL!! So just, read. That is, if ya wanna.
*****
Kez is leaning on a newspaper stand, her eyes once again scanning the Want ads. The paperboy holds his nose and adjusts the fan to blow toward her.
Kez: (reading) Hm. "Chef wanted. No cooking experience needed." Sounds simple enough. Even I can make a decent meal. I think.
She puts the smelly paper back onto the stand. The boy raises an eyebrow and backs away slowly as the stand catches fire.
Numbuh -93 comes upon an average Joe homestead with strange odors wafting from the windows.
Kez: Well, it's not like I can smell any worse...
She saunters up to the door and rings the bell. The incredibly loud thudding of large feet is heard from inside. She is about to swiftly leave when the door flies open.
Grandma (or is it Gramma? o.o') Stuffum: Oh, look at the skinny children!
Kez: o______O;;; Who are you talking to?
Grandma Stuffum: What you need is grilled tomato & broccoli tofu, ja?
Kez: Augh! No!! I'm here for the job application.
Grandma Stuffum: Oh! Of course, the application! Wait right here.
The large woman retreats back into the house. Kez shakily stares off- screen.
Grandma Stuffum: (returns with a white apron and a puffy chef's hat) Here you are! (hands her the clothing) Now, have you ever cooked a meal before?
Kez: (putting on the apron and hat) No, ma'am.
Grandma Stuffum: How unfortunate. Oh well, we'll just have to deal with what we've got, eh?
Her evil minions, Liver and Onions, run up to her side. They somehow manage to squeeze past her bulk.
Liver: Heh? Who's this?
Kez: ???
Grandma Stuffum: This, this is our new henchgirl!
Kez: ^_^;
Liver: But she's skinny, too! Just like those Kids Next-
Kez punts the liver onto the roof.
Kez: Fore!
The old (?) woman folds her hands together happily.
Grandma Stuffum: (like she's about to burst into tears) I've always wanted a helper who's as feisty as me as a young person!
Kez: Yeah?
Grandma Stuffum: But I don't appreciate you kicking my minions to the top of my house.
Kez: Sorry, ma'am.
Grandma Stuffum: (pats her fluffy-hatted head) Good girl.
Kez: ^_^
Grandma Stuffum: Now, we're off to prepare yet another fabulous spread!
Kez: Yay! With bacon?
Grandma Stuffum: Eeh?
Kez: Ooh! Ooh, and those thin, wrinkly pickles they serve a fancy restaurants? And, and, and plain frozen waffles? Parmesan bread and cake mix??
Grandma Stuffum: No, no child. (shakes her head) I'll tell you what we're going to make.
Cut to the Kids Next Door Tree House...again. Everyone is doing mostly the same thing they were before; Numbuhs 2 and 4 playing video games, Numbuh 3 showing off her mad DDR skillz to Numbuh 5, and Numbuh 1, reading The Andromeda Strain.
Numbuh 1: (to himself, or at least to reassure any overhearing operatives) Really, adults think they're so smart...I'd like to see them match our 2x4 technology with their twenty-second century gadgets.
Suddenly, the adult alerty signal thing goes off.
Numbuh 1 throws his book into the air in surprise. It lands on his head.
Numbuh 4: Oh, don't tell me it's...
Numbuh 1: (leaping up so the book flies off his head) Kids Next Door! Battle stations!!!!
Well, actually they just get their weapons, I guess. Numbuh 1 gets his S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R, Hoagie dons his fly getup, Numbuh 3 grabs her T.H.U.M.P.E.R., Number 4 gets his P.H.S.L.A.S.E.R. and Abby heads up to the highest level of the tree house to man the laser thing.
Numbuh 5: A'ight, you...(half surprised, half embarrassed) Oh my...Hold up! (calls down to Numbuh 1 and the rest of the crew, who are standing on the deck of the ship by Numbuh 4's room) Yo, you guys! Ain't that...
Numbuh 1: !!!
Kez: (waves up to the operatives) Hey, guys! I'm back!
Numbuh 1: .
Numbuh 4: You idiot! Why in th' world would you- (gets a face full of refried beans)
Kez: (taking down spoon from her face) Bull's-eye!
Grandma Stuffum: (with an emotion difficult to describe in her voice) Allow me to introduce...Chef, em...
Liver: (pulling on her dress thingy, whispering up to her) Kez.
Grandma Stuffum: Chef Kez!
Kez: Darn tootin'! (flings a water balloon filled with soda up at the kids)
Numbuh 3: (somehow realizing that it's cola) Yaaay!! Pop!
Kuki grabs the balloon without having it explode, unties it and drinks the soda.
Kez: o.o Kay take this! (uses a bow to shoot strips of bacon at them)
Numbuh 5: (gets his in the face with a slice) Hey. This ain't crispy bacon.
Numbuh 4: (also gets hit) Ugh, it's fatty! (tosses it aside)
Numbuh 2: Woohoo!! (catches the flying bacon and happily eats it)
Kez: Curse it all! Why isn't it working! Poooooooppp! (fires random assortments of non-threatening junk food)
The Kids Next Door simply stare as Bon Bons, goldfish crackers and limp Ramen noodles are pitched at them. Finally, after two minutes of the stupid one-sided food fight, Kez runs out of food. Grandma Stuffum has a mixture of anger, sadness and embarrassment on her face.
Liver: I told you she couldn't be trusted!
Onions: (together) Yeah! (they jump up and down)
Kez: Oh, whaddayouknow, you're just side dishes.
Grandma Stuffum: (sighs) Come, back to the recipe board.
The old woman and her baddies trudge back towards the house.
Kez: Hm, I guess her icky food is the only food that works. Maybe that's why she was so unhappy to use my stuff. Aw. Oh well, guess I'd better head back to the papers. (walks off)
Numbuh 5: (looking around to see only Numbuh 2 standing while simultaneously being happy) Am I the only one who is utterly humiliated heah?
Everyone else slowly shakes their heads.
*****
By the way, peeps, so you know. I realize I'm not really good at doing the little accent thing, like Numbuh 4's "Roight! Ah'll sock 'im in tha face!" bit for example. But it helps me stay in-character. Even though I realize everyone except Kez is being really OOC. I apologize. -.-;
Yay, gotta 'nuther one up! ^-^ Meh, I can't decide whether it's "Grandma" or "Gramma" Stuffum. . EVIL!! So just, read. That is, if ya wanna.
*****
Kez is leaning on a newspaper stand, her eyes once again scanning the Want ads. The paperboy holds his nose and adjusts the fan to blow toward her.
Kez: (reading) Hm. "Chef wanted. No cooking experience needed." Sounds simple enough. Even I can make a decent meal. I think.
She puts the smelly paper back onto the stand. The boy raises an eyebrow and backs away slowly as the stand catches fire.
Numbuh -93 comes upon an average Joe homestead with strange odors wafting from the windows.
Kez: Well, it's not like I can smell any worse...
She saunters up to the door and rings the bell. The incredibly loud thudding of large feet is heard from inside. She is about to swiftly leave when the door flies open.
Grandma (or is it Gramma? o.o') Stuffum: Oh, look at the skinny children!
Kez: o______O;;; Who are you talking to?
Grandma Stuffum: What you need is grilled tomato & broccoli tofu, ja?
Kez: Augh! No!! I'm here for the job application.
Grandma Stuffum: Oh! Of course, the application! Wait right here.
The large woman retreats back into the house. Kez shakily stares off- screen.
Grandma Stuffum: (returns with a white apron and a puffy chef's hat) Here you are! (hands her the clothing) Now, have you ever cooked a meal before?
Kez: (putting on the apron and hat) No, ma'am.
Grandma Stuffum: How unfortunate. Oh well, we'll just have to deal with what we've got, eh?
Her evil minions, Liver and Onions, run up to her side. They somehow manage to squeeze past her bulk.
Liver: Heh? Who's this?
Kez: ???
Grandma Stuffum: This, this is our new henchgirl!
Kez: ^_^;
Liver: But she's skinny, too! Just like those Kids Next-
Kez punts the liver onto the roof.
Kez: Fore!
The old (?) woman folds her hands together happily.
Grandma Stuffum: (like she's about to burst into tears) I've always wanted a helper who's as feisty as me as a young person!
Kez: Yeah?
Grandma Stuffum: But I don't appreciate you kicking my minions to the top of my house.
Kez: Sorry, ma'am.
Grandma Stuffum: (pats her fluffy-hatted head) Good girl.
Kez: ^_^
Grandma Stuffum: Now, we're off to prepare yet another fabulous spread!
Kez: Yay! With bacon?
Grandma Stuffum: Eeh?
Kez: Ooh! Ooh, and those thin, wrinkly pickles they serve a fancy restaurants? And, and, and plain frozen waffles? Parmesan bread and cake mix??
Grandma Stuffum: No, no child. (shakes her head) I'll tell you what we're going to make.
Cut to the Kids Next Door Tree House...again. Everyone is doing mostly the same thing they were before; Numbuhs 2 and 4 playing video games, Numbuh 3 showing off her mad DDR skillz to Numbuh 5, and Numbuh 1, reading The Andromeda Strain.
Numbuh 1: (to himself, or at least to reassure any overhearing operatives) Really, adults think they're so smart...I'd like to see them match our 2x4 technology with their twenty-second century gadgets.
Suddenly, the adult alerty signal thing goes off.
Numbuh 1 throws his book into the air in surprise. It lands on his head.
Numbuh 4: Oh, don't tell me it's...
Numbuh 1: (leaping up so the book flies off his head) Kids Next Door! Battle stations!!!!
Well, actually they just get their weapons, I guess. Numbuh 1 gets his S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R, Hoagie dons his fly getup, Numbuh 3 grabs her T.H.U.M.P.E.R., Number 4 gets his P.H.S.L.A.S.E.R. and Abby heads up to the highest level of the tree house to man the laser thing.
Numbuh 5: A'ight, you...(half surprised, half embarrassed) Oh my...Hold up! (calls down to Numbuh 1 and the rest of the crew, who are standing on the deck of the ship by Numbuh 4's room) Yo, you guys! Ain't that...
Numbuh 1: !!!
Kez: (waves up to the operatives) Hey, guys! I'm back!
Numbuh 1: .
Numbuh 4: You idiot! Why in th' world would you- (gets a face full of refried beans)
Kez: (taking down spoon from her face) Bull's-eye!
Grandma Stuffum: (with an emotion difficult to describe in her voice) Allow me to introduce...Chef, em...
Liver: (pulling on her dress thingy, whispering up to her) Kez.
Grandma Stuffum: Chef Kez!
Kez: Darn tootin'! (flings a water balloon filled with soda up at the kids)
Numbuh 3: (somehow realizing that it's cola) Yaaay!! Pop!
Kuki grabs the balloon without having it explode, unties it and drinks the soda.
Kez: o.o Kay take this! (uses a bow to shoot strips of bacon at them)
Numbuh 5: (gets his in the face with a slice) Hey. This ain't crispy bacon.
Numbuh 4: (also gets hit) Ugh, it's fatty! (tosses it aside)
Numbuh 2: Woohoo!! (catches the flying bacon and happily eats it)
Kez: Curse it all! Why isn't it working! Poooooooppp! (fires random assortments of non-threatening junk food)
The Kids Next Door simply stare as Bon Bons, goldfish crackers and limp Ramen noodles are pitched at them. Finally, after two minutes of the stupid one-sided food fight, Kez runs out of food. Grandma Stuffum has a mixture of anger, sadness and embarrassment on her face.
Liver: I told you she couldn't be trusted!
Onions: (together) Yeah! (they jump up and down)
Kez: Oh, whaddayouknow, you're just side dishes.
Grandma Stuffum: (sighs) Come, back to the recipe board.
The old woman and her baddies trudge back towards the house.
Kez: Hm, I guess her icky food is the only food that works. Maybe that's why she was so unhappy to use my stuff. Aw. Oh well, guess I'd better head back to the papers. (walks off)
Numbuh 5: (looking around to see only Numbuh 2 standing while simultaneously being happy) Am I the only one who is utterly humiliated heah?
Everyone else slowly shakes their heads.
*****
By the way, peeps, so you know. I realize I'm not really good at doing the little accent thing, like Numbuh 4's "Roight! Ah'll sock 'im in tha face!" bit for example. But it helps me stay in-character. Even though I realize everyone except Kez is being really OOC. I apologize. -.-;