Chapter three
Disclaimer: Paper Mario is owned by Nintendo, not me. I'll still never get over that!
Warning: Mild alcohol references, mild tone shift
'Mario' had somehow made all of the party arrangements in a matter of minutes. He sent his partners off to the Twilight item shop to pick up some strange items.
"A pizza? Some party hats? What is this last one?" Hotdog inquired as he read off the list.
Flurrie took a closer look at the list and blushed.
"Oh my, uh…"
"What? Like, you can't see the words grandma?" Goombella laughed. After she looked at the list she stopped, dumbfounded...
"Guys, what's going on? What does it say?" Koops asked.
"Yeah tell me. I've never seen that word before." Hotdog said impatiently.
Koops finally glanced at the page.
"Booze?! So...alcohol?!" he blurted out.
"But doesn't Mario realize that we have underage members?" Goombella asked. "Well, Hotdog is at least. Koops, you're like, 21 right?"
"Y-yeah? But I've…" Koops stopped speaking before he revealed something embarrassing.
"I know I don't need to ask you, Flurrie, because you're ancient."
"Whatever, dear. With my age comes wisdom and beauty," Flurrie replied with her nose in the air.
"So, are we gonna get this uh, 'stuff' or not?" Hotdog asked impatiently, the delicacy of the situation lost to him.
"Absolutely not! Well I mean like, technically we could but…" Goombella trailed off as they had reached the shop door.
Everyone hesitated to go inside.
"One of us should be a doll, and go in alone. It'll look strange if we come in as a group trying to buy such beverages with a minor with us," Flurrie spoke up. Goombella rolled her eyes.
"That's like…..actually that makes sense," she realized.
"So who will go then? I want to get to the PARTY!" Hotdog complained.
"Koops!" Goombella shouted. Koops shuddered.
"Me? Do look like the party drinking type?" he said trembling.
"No that's why you should do it. No offense but like, you are innocent and all."
"Well...wait, what?"
"I mean, I'm a college student so of course I would be suspicious. Flurrie might seem like an old alcoholic. Hotdog is...well...he was born yesterday so he's too immature to even pretend to be an adult."
"I...I still don't know..."
Hotdog and Flurrie understandably didn't appreciate her curt but accurate analysis of the situation. Koops wasn't bulging. They continued to stand outside of the door, unable to make a decision...
Just then 'Mario' walked by. He was holding something that wasn't the "Mailbox SP" device he was supposed to have. It was smartphone, despite the fact that it's 2004. Also a bluetooth headset was in his ear.
"Talk to ya later, my slick babe!" he hung up and saw the gang.
"Yo, what's the holdup slicks? My list giving you some issues?" he greeted.
"Umm, you have like-" Goombella didn't want to say the word-"slightly 'inappropriate content' on it and we were just deliberating-"
"What? You mean the pizza? What's wrong with that? You vegan or somethin, slick?" 'Mario' asked.
"No no like, not that."
(Goombella tired to be vegan once, to fit in with some of her colleagues. It didn't work out though and she relapsed, eating a roast turkey whole while at a College party. It was embarrassing but the turkey was delicious at least. )
"Oh so you're one of those anti-party hat people. I see now, slick."
"It's that 'booze' stuff," Hotdog said, rolling his eyes. As far as he was concerned, the adults were worrying over something silly.
"Oh you mean that? Hey, it ain't a rave without it!"
"Rave?" Goombella questioned.
"You know, short for 'Rivotril Alcohol Vaping Ecstacy'? I mean wait..." 'Mario' chucked nervously.
"Like, that's worse!" Goombella screamed, knowing exactly what those were.
"Just kidding! Whatever slicks, just get what's on the list."
"Then why don't you get it Mario?" Koops asked. That sounded like a better plan to him than what Goombella had came up with earlier.
"Well uh, about that...I forgot my i.d. Why don't you all just go in?"
"But-" Goombella started.
"That's an order, slicks. Now I'll be waiting in the center of town. Later!" 'Mario' said while coolly walking away and texting on his smartphone. Goombella, Koops, and Flurrie looked at each other worryingly. Hotdog silently cheered, maybe he could see what this rave stuff was about.
"Well?" Koops started.
"It is Mario after all and maybe we could loosen up a bit? You know, have a good time," Flurrie added.
"I guess so...we did finish this chapter ahead of schedule and all and we are adults- mostly," Goombella said.
"So let's do something, PLEASE," Hotdog complained.
"Okay okay, sheesh. We'll walk in but Hotdog will stay near the door," Goombella said, starting to feel like a babysitter.
"Oh uh, can I stay with him?" Koops asked.
"Uhg, fine."
"Oh and I would like to visit the powder room, please," Flurrie added.
"Okay, like, just do whatever!" Goombella replied, now with a slight headache. Maybe she would need a drink after all.
They stepped in…
To be continued...
Author note: I hope this chapter turned out alright. I wanted to do a slightly more mature tone shift. That's also why I upped the rating to "T". I made Mario's partners be extremely modest about alcohol because I figured that in Mario's family friendly world it would be one of those things that adults would enjoy but not necessarily glorify. It could also be yet another indicator that something is wrong with 'Mario'. Peace out!
P.S. Also, yes. I know smartphones did exist in 2004 but back then they were only for nerds. Okay, I'm kidding. Sort of...Lastly, no offense to any vegans! Peace out! For real.