Me: I updated 'Questionnaire' yester…night. So today I'll begin a new chapter in this one. Since nobody is reading it, as of yet I am less compelled to continue writing it, but frankly, I get to be as screwy as I want for this so I'm gonna continue.

Edo: She don't own anything.

As it turned out, the four wound up outsmarting a half-retarded hillbilly next. Jun's time to shine, he easily out crazies the slasher, and they warped again, leading to the Wisecracker. Dragonheart remembered the cardinal rule of defeating the slasher, and won the round by repeating 'I don't get it.' a phenomenal amount of times. They warped once more and found themselves in Mammas-Boy Slasher territory.

To say it amused them when Edo stopped the boy from killing him by simply holding up his hands and saying 'Hang on a sec.' would be an understatement. When Edo proceeded to ask the man out clubbing, they got confused. And when Edo prompted them to help him find a hot guy at said club, they became worried.

"A hot what?" Jun had asked

"Guy. I need to find one quickly."

"Now is not the time to be exploring your sexuality again, Phoenix. Especially not with your girlfriend here."

Edo fixed his friend with a droll stare. "Jun, not for me. I need to bribe someone to flirt with him so we can get away."

"Why not a girl?"

"He wants a guy, trust me."

At which point Jasmine had snickered something about a gaydar, Dragonheart had smacked her over the head hissing something involving the words, knew, already and bisexual, and proceeded to point out a super-model-esque man in the corner.

Phoenix easily glided over, within minutes, the man was charmed enough to flirt with the slasher, and the world was distorting again.

The weather was hot and sticky, the sun was high in the sky, and for a moment the quartet thought they had escaped. Until Alexis Bledel walked out of one of the Sleep away Camps cabins. Phoenix mumbled something about summer vacation, and the world switched once more.

"And be sure to give Timmy his insulin!" The beautiful woman chirped. "You should get that by now, right Edward? Because of your diabetes?"

Edo proceeded to tell her his name was Edo not Edward but figured it a lost cause. "Why would I know? What do you mean, diabetes?"

The woman laughed "Hiring you four was an excellent idea. Trustworthy teenagers to watch over my special children. And Edward, you're so funny, like you could forget about your medical condition for a moment. Do remember your insulin on the table as well. And remember, Timmy's diabetic, Miranda's deaf, Charlotte is blind, Daniel is mute and my poor Freddy is blind, deaf, mute and diabetic. Good day children, I'll be home at midnight!" And she flounced out the door.

Edo paused for a moment and then held up his wrist, revealing a thin silver chain holding a small silver plate, with a stylized image of two snakes twined around a pole with wings. He then proceeded to curse so foully that Jun blushed.

"Blind, deaf, mute and diabetic? Did she purposely mess with this kid?" Jasmine asked "He sounds like a medical disaster. As she spoke she turned to see a little blond girl staring intently at her.

"Oh, hello sweetie, who are you?"

The little girl smiled creepily before "Hello, lady. My name is Charlotte."

The other children appeared to be in the living room. And ignoring the blind girls strange tendencies of being able to stare at you without speaking, everything seemed okay. Until the phone rang…

"Should we get that?" Dragonheart asked softly.

"NO!" Jun roared, inadvertently frightening the children that could hear. After calming them down, Jun disappeared for a moment and returned.

"What did you do?"

"Shut and locked all windows and doors, plus turned on every light I could find. Keep all of the kids here."

Jasmine looked at him incredulously "How'd you know it was okay to run around the house?"

"The home phone is on the fridge, that was the mothers cell. She didn't leave a message."

The phone rang again.

Edo, being closest, checked the caller ID.

"That can't be right…" He mused "It's coming from the home phone…"

"I've seen movies like this before." Jun said gravely "We only need to make it through the night."

"Why the phone?" Jasmine asked warily

Jun fixed her with a look, but Edo replied first "It's the killer in another part of the house trying to freak us out." he said "Don't worry, just keep an eye on the kids and we'll be good."

And six hours later, standing with the kids outside of a smoldering wreak of the house, they were. And the world distorted again.

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