No matter how quickly he downed bottles of alcohol, he could never maintain a buzz. Somehow, alcohol metabolized in his supernatural body faster than drugs, and he'd run out of those days ago, but he couldn't bring himself to show his face in public. Instead, he stood with a bottle of champagne in hand. It must've been hours before Maze returned with Linda and Ella. Ella eyed him warily and, upon assessing the threat, walked up to him and stood inches away. She sucked in a deep breath and crushed herself into his chest.
He stiffened at her touch. Human contact that wasn't sexual was so foreign to him and he'd gone weeks now without really being touched in any manner.
"I'm sorry, Lucifer," She whispered. She pulled away quickly. "Do you need help?"
"Miss Lopez, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about," He said and glared over her shoulder at Maze, who shrugged noncommittally.
"With your wings..." She tugged at his elbow and gasped at his bloodstained back. He yanked his arm free from her grasp.
His glared intensified and he stepped away from her. "I do not need anyone's help. Least of all a human's help. Besides, shouldn't someone of your faith be as far away from me as possible?"
Hurt flickered across Ella's face. "You're still Lucifer. Our Lucifer. I believe the Big Man's got a plan."
Lucifer scowled and rolled his eyes at her comment. Bringing the bottle to his lips, he swallowed the rest of the champagne quickly and moved to grab another bottle of something stronger.
"Lucifer... We brought something we think you should watch..." Linda said.
"Oh, lovely. An intervention. Strange though, because I thought I'd fired you," His dark eyes settled on the small blonde woman who merely cocked an eyebrow.
Ella took the small DVD case from Maze and walked toward Lucifer's wall mounted television. She spoke as she pushed the dvd into the player. "This is from the security cameras that day."
Lucifer's jaw twitched dangerously. "I've no interest in reliving it."
"Yeah, well, there's important shit for you to see and important shit for us to say," Maze said and pushed Lucifer toward the couch. He turned on her quickly, his nose against hers, and the red flames of Hell flashed in his eyes.
"If you still want to leave after you watch that tape, after you hear what we've got to say, then we will leave, Lucifer." His eyes returned to normal and he searched her face for any trace of manipulation. He stepped away from her and moved toward the couch.
"Have a seat," Linda said and tapped the spot next to her as Maze and Ella sat on her other side.
Lucifer moved to the end of the couch furthest from them, but remained standing. "I'll stand." His voice was rough as he took another long swig from the bottle of whiskey.
Ella pointed the remote toward the television and pressed the play button. Lucifer watched as he and Chloe walked into the circular room on the white marble floor. Chloe, sensing danger, reached for her gun instinctively. He heard her whisper that something was wrong. Cain appeared surrounded by armed men and Lucifer growled - low and animalistic - in his throat. He watched, pained, as Chloe stepped between him and Cain, and flinched when he heard the gunshots again.
And then, he saw it. He saw his wings emerge like lightning in all of their divine glory. The only distraction from their beauty was the hailstorm of bullets that rained down upon them, and yet, they held. He could hear his own screams, blood curdling and so very desperate, and his voice sounded nearly unrecognizable. Lucifer let the bottle slip from his hand and crash to the floor where it shattered and the broken glass and liquid spread out by his bare feet. Ella paused the video.
"Lucifer... Can you tell me what you're feeling?" Linda asked tentatively.
He seemed to be in a trance as he stared at himself on the television, his wings a bloody mess, as he shielded himself and more importantly Chloe from the gunfire. Chloe. He snapped out of it. "This is entirely unnecessary. I know what happened. I was there. Obviously," He said and ran a shaky and tired hand through his curly hair.
Linda sighed heavily and Ella pressed play again. Lucifer eyed the screen uncertainly, the whiskey pooling under his feet. He watched as he disappeared from camera in a flurry of red and white, flying the Detective far enough away to safety. Then, he was back. Fury evident on his face even through the grainy security camera quality. He fought through the assailants easily, and then he watched himself struggle to bring his injured wings in, and then he stood in front of Cain. They fought, and Lucifer won, and he could see his face changing. His stomach twisted as he watched Chloe approach him from the steps. The Lucifer on the camera stood, unaware of his Devil Face, and looked to Chloe with such a look of relief on his face, and then Lucifer had to see it all over again. Had to hear it all over again.
"It's all true."
"Detective?"
"It's all true."
She backed away from him and her face. Oh, my, her face. Shock. Fear. Horror. Disbelief. Then, he disappeared again. A flurry of red and white again. He was gone, and she was alone. Standing amongst his bloodied and broken feathers, amongst his victory, and amongst his terrible loss. The tape ended.
"Lucifer, how are you feeling now?" Linda asked.
He sat slowly and stared at the broken whiskey bottle on the floor. "Why did you want me to watch this?"
"We felt like you needed to see what we see in you, what this video shows about you that we already knew - that you are brave, and strong, and caring, and loving, and self-sacrificing - when you want to be at least. How do you feel about you, Lucifer? How do you truly feel?" Linda asked gently.
"Did you see her face, Doctor? Did you all see her face? I'm a bloody monster to her! Literally! None of it mattered - I was always honest and nobody ever believed me! Nothing can fix what she's seen! Nothing can undo what I am!" He hung his head in defeat, his hands tangled in his hair, and traitorous tears stung his eyes. "I feel... I wish... I wish I'd never fallen..." Gasps were all around him, loudest of course, from Maze. He closed his eyes tightly to stave off the treacherous tears. "I wish I'd never fallen."
"And in the burst of light that blinded every angel, as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars, you felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space - no one there to catch you in their arms."