short one. well, shorter (without my before and after blah blah blahing). because i have a much longer something to work on that i'm hoping to get finished today.
3.
that damn clock in the kitchen never stops ticking
and i hear every thundering second of the never
because i'm a different kind
of ticking
and never
i'd never been afraid of dying
not really
and when i thought i was
i welcomed it
looked forward to it even
because i wasn't living anyway
because everyone i loved was already dead
and gone
and i don't just mean the Edward kind of dead and gone...
and the me now
the first anyway
the kind you're forced to live with when dead decides it for you
i mean the real
and the final
the kind of dead and gone that can't not be
the kind that can't come back
and that hears nothing
no chirping of birds
no buzzing of bees
no crashing of waves
or rustling of leaves
no happy
no sad
and no ticking
because time stopped for them
and here wasn't a choice anymore
never would be again
my dad is that kind of dead and gone now
and my best friend Jake
the only two people i had left to love and love me after Edward made his choice to not and to not let me
that brought me here
back here
because they weren't there anymore
and here was the last place i felt alive
because it was the last place that Edward was with me in
even though he left me here...
he brought me first
and put me
before everything else
before he decided that by doing that he wasn't
i was never afraid of dying...
but now that i'm dead...
i'm afraid to live
because that damn ticking never stops
and never will
because time will never stop for me
and i'm afraid
as i run on new legs past that ticking clock in the kitchen...
the beating hearts of my only companions now–and my only sustenance–beckoning to me to find them...
will never again begin
..tq..
interesting thoughts and theories coming in... some of you think she's really angry. with Edward specifically. maybe... but you'll have to keep reading, i suppose, to find out if you're right. if you're still interested enough to want to know.
AND... the fuckAWESOME banner for this was just minutes ago delivered to me by the also fuckAWESOME MinaRivera. i'll have it up on my fb momentarily if you want to see it. did i mention it was fuckAWESOME? like you guys are for being here. xo