Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter! I appreciate every single one. I'll try to respond to those that have user names when I can and to the numbers of guests that I can't, know I'm thankful! Glad people seem to be enjoying it. I'm enjoying writing it! Remember I have no Beta, no medical knowledge, so all mistakes are mine. Hope you all enjoy this next installment! Hit that button at the end and let me know!
Chapter 3
Second Chances
The rays of the morning sun filter in through the blinds and warm my skin. Stretching my arms I let out a contented sigh as I take in my surroundings. Waking up in an unfamiliar room...isn't unfamiliar to me, it hasn't happened in a while and normally I would have a different reaction to the one I'm having now. Normally I'm up and putting my clothes on and ducking out the door as soon as possible which probably doesn't look good but not this time. A few things are different this time in fact, one - I am still wearing all my clothes and two, I don't want to rush away. I want to stay, in fact right now I feel like I could stay like this forever. Gently I run the tips of my fingers along the slightly tanned skin in front of me. She doesn't stir and I'm grateful for the time I can just sit here and admire her. We kissed and cuddled and laughed and held each other last night. It was pretty close to perfect. It has been a long time since I've felt like that...don't get me wrong, I had my moments where I wondered if this was moving too fast but then she would kiss me or smile at me and everything felt great again.
"It's far too early for you to be thinking that hard".
Her voice startles me but at the same time my stomach flips. I love this, this new feeling, the butterflies that only a new and exciting relationship can bring. I love that hearing her voice makes my stomach flip and my heart skip a beat. I love that when she looks up at me all I see is wonder and possibility. The tiny amount of skepticism and fear about taking on a new relationship, about repeating past mistakes is only minimal at this time.
"Thinking good thoughts though so does that count?" I answer cheekily as she leans in to press her lips to mine.
As soon as her lips meet mine, my heart thuds loudly in my chest. She's so soft and as her hand cups my cheek and pulls me further down into her cocoon I wrap my arms tightly around her and surrender to everything she offers me. Getting lost in her soon is going to become an addiction.
"Are you sure you're alright Arizona?" Eliza asks me as we approach the hospital entrance hand in hand.
This morning was bliss, silk sheets and Eilza's arms around me, her lips on my neck and her hands caressing my body. We took it no further than kissing and some naughty touches but it was delightful, that anticipation of what I know is to come in the future...bliss! It was so easy to lock out the rest of the world and my co-workers opinions when it was just her and I but now we are at work where everyone but the residents despise the woman that I adore, not as easy.
I said to myself last night that I didn't care, after talking with Richard I made a decision that other's opinions unless supportive didn't bother me but now that we're here I can't deny I'm a little worried about the reception we are going to receive. It feels almost like I'm coming out again.
"Yeah fine...fine." I answer hesitantly.
I don't want to hurt her feelings by her thinking I'm ashamed of us because I'm not at all. But nobody likes to be judged and least of all my your friends and co-workers. After Callie and Lauren and then Callie and the court case it took a while for some bridges to mend. There are some still resentments and hurts floating around with me and with others too. I don't have the energy to deal with more of the same.
"Well that was convincing. Come on Arizona, you've gotten more quieter the closer we've gotten to work." she say's as she pulls us to a stop just shy of the entrance.
"I'm just worried about what type of reaction will we get" I tell her honestly.
She drops my hand immediately and I feel instantly cold. This is what I didn't want. I chastise myself internally as I reach out for her.
"No, don't do that, don't pull away." I say to her.
"Why, you clearly are." she fires right back.
"It's different for you! I live here, I work here, these are my friends, they're like family to me!" I shoot right back.
"I work here too, I live here too! They're not my friends because they hate my guts so don't you think that makes me feel like crap? Don't you think that I've thought about the reaction we are going to get too?" She's fiery and it reminds me of another brunette, another time in my life, and like that other time in my life, the bubble pops all too soon. The realities of what I'm facing if I pursue this relationship hits me like a tonne of bricks. There's only silk sheets and whispered words when we're locked away in our apartments but out here in the real world it's harsh and glaring.
Taking a deep breath I look at her standing there, exposed and pissed off, hurt and imploring me to not give a shit, to walk in their holding her hand with my head held high.
"You're right. I'm sorry, forgive me." I say to her as I move closer to her reaching for her hand to take that coldness away.
"Arizona..." she sighs and even hurt and pissed off my name coming from her lips is like a balm that washes over me.
Releasing a deep breath I grab her hand and pull her to me, she stumbles slightly as her body collides lightly with mine and I notice the hint of a smile forming. "Arizona I know what these people mean to you. I'm not expecting you to send out a Memo. I'm not asking for PDA. I just...I want to know that when we see each other around the hall's you'll smile at me. I want to know that when we're among fellow surgeons you won't not talk to me just because they don't. I know this is an...awkward situation for you and I'm willing to do it your way but I need you to be honest with me. I need you to not hide how you're feeling. Don't tell me you're fine when you're not. I meant it when I said we could be something...but we can only be something if you let us".
Her words instantly calm me and simultaneously make me feel guilty. I should have known she'd be understanding. My problem is I always want to live in the bubble, it's so pretty and safe. The moment I step out, there are all sorts of dangers. I experienced it once before with...Callie and I could never do that again. I have to remember though that Eliza isn't' Callie. She deserves a fresh start not a half filled slate with demons from my marriage.
"I do want us to be something. I guess...I still have some...baggage from before that's clouding the way I'm reacting. I'm sorry. I like you Eliza...a hell of a lot and I want there to be an us." I tell her honestly.
"I want you too, so much Arizona. So lets just go to work and do our jobs...then I believe we both have the next couple day's off so why don't we have dinner tonight and talk. I think we both have some baggage and maybe getting that off our chests will help us go forward together." she suggest as her fingers run softly over the palm of my hand sending tingles throughout my body.
"That sounds perfect...and today..at work?"
"Today we are colleagues at work, colleagues that like each other. I promise I won't jump out and start kissing you in front of everyone! Just...don't fall in with the...brat pack..." she say's good naturedly but I can tell she's actually a little worried.
I know exactly who she's referring too as well and I feel even guiltier. The way I treated Eliza when I first met her, the way everyone has been treating her has been horrible. If that was me I probably would have ran a mile but yet she's stayed and endured it all and still here wanting to be with me, still wanting to be teaching the residents. That say's a lot about her.
"I promise I won't. Now give me a kiss because I'm not sure I can let you go without feeling you one more time...the end of the day is far to far away!" I flirt with her.
Smiling she leans in wrapping both lean arms around my waist, her lips ghost gently across mine, teasing me, making me chase her, I moan as she avoids me again, her breath ghosting across my face as I roll my eyes. Enough of the teasing, I feel like I'm about to explode, with a sudden burst of lust I grab her hands and push her none too gently against the wall before crushing my lips against hers. She moans into my mouth as I feel her body surrender to my will. I kiss her hard and passionately, my tongue tasting everything she has to offer, it's only when I feel her hips moving against mine do I pull back, breathless and nothing short of absolutely horny.
"Seriously?" she say's her chest heaving, and her eyes ten shades darker.
"Sorry couldn't help myself, you're addictive" I tell her as I pinch her ass as I shuffle towards the doors.
"You'll be the death of me Arizona!" she yells to me as I walk away from her heading to the attending's locker room while she goes off in search of the residents. I just turn around and wink at her, thinking that this day might not be as bad as I originally thought.
My day's been reasonably quiet, no big surgeries, no emergencies and I'm counting down the minutes until I can get out of here. I approach the nurses station where Jackson, Maggie, April and Richard are all standing there. "Robbins." Richards greets me very formally.
"Hi!" I reply my usual cheery self.
"Oh I wanted to talk to you Arizona about Jenny Evans" Jackson pipes up.
Maggie and April have their head buried in charts and Richards seems to be just standing doing not much of anything but looking at me now that I've joined them.
"Yeah, 30 weeks pregnant, on bed rest, due to two previous miscarriages plus has Congenital Pulmonary airway malformation which so far I'm just monitoring at this stage, there doesn't appear to be a need for Surgery, at least not yet anyway."
"Ok so would you approve of me performing a skin graft on her? She has those burns on her arms and left side of her face that she's asked me to look at but I didn't want to promise anything if you didn't think she and the fetus were stable enough to go under." Jackson asks me.
"Write a plan, get it to me and I'll let you know but preliminary opinion is she and fetus should be fine but always best to ear on the side of caution." I tell him.
While I'm talking to Jackson, I can feel Richard's eyes on me, it's slightly uncomfortable because even though we spoke about Eliza and I, I know he's not happy about it. I'm not really up for a discussion about it in front of my colleagues, but I can feel his disapproval radiating out towards me.
I finish up my conversation with Jackson as fast as I can but just as I'm about to high tail it, I hear the clearing of a throat and "Dr Minnick.." and my heart thuds but not the thudding that was happening earlier when I had those arms wrapped around me.
"Dr Webber".
I slowly turn around with a smile plastered to my face and despite the minor trepidation I feel at standing here with the woman I'm dating behind my friends back, with said friends right beside me I can't help the tiny butterflies that flutter in my stomach as I lay my eyes on her.
"How's everyone's day going?" Eliza asks genuinely. She's trying to make friends but minus April the rest seem to have no interest whatsoever in even trying to get to know her and that much is made clear as Jackson mutters a 'be better if you weren't here' and Maggie's death stare she aims at the brunette.
"It's good, an easy day today for me, nothing big happening, how about you Dr Minnick?" I say when everyone else fails to answer her.
"Pretty good, supervised a couple residents doing a couple simple solo surgeries, and now I'm looking forward to clocking out for the day." she replies.
It's clear no-one else is going to join in on the very awkward conversation, I go to make my exit so not to prolong this for myself and Eliza but before I can make my escape, Richard pipes up. "So do you two have plans together for your day off tomorrow?" Immediately I turn to the man who was my wing man for so long, the man I have respected and admired and considered a close friend and give him an exasperated look.
"Why would they have plans together?" Maggie pipes up looking between myself, Eliza and Richard.
I see April put down her pen and chart and look up curiously as discreetly as she can while Jackson continues to stare daggers at Eliza. Eliza looks awkward all of a sudden and looks anywhere but at me. I stare at Richard, pissed off and hurt that he's essentially forcing me to out Eliza and myself to my colleagues. I knew he was struggling to accept us but I thought he understood, I certainly never expected him to act like this.
When no-one say's anything for a while, Maggie pipe's up again. "Richard...Why would they have plans together?" she asks him directly.
"Maybe Robbins should be the one to answer that." he say's and I feel my anger skyrocket. Why the hell is he acting like this? Why is he putting me in this position?
I look to April, Jackson and Maggie, all staring at me curiously waiting an answer, I look at Richard and his face is impassive and then I look at Eliza, who looks terrified.
"Look I've got to go..." she starts to say but fuck it, if this is what he wants then fine.
"No wait" I say as I quickly reach out to grab her hand. She looks at me in surprise and I give her hand a gentle squeeze within my own.
"What is going on here?" Jackson pipes up?
"This wasn't really the way I was planning on telling you and to be quite frank I don't think it's anyone's business but I'm dating Eliza, so that would be why we would have plans together tomorrow." I tell them firmly.
The look on April's face registers surprise but not disdain or disappointment. Maggie and Jackson on the other hand look outraged and have no problem letting me know.
"What?!"
"Are you freaking serious?" simultaneous exclamations get shouted at me.
"I am serious. Look it's none of any of your guys business what I do in my personal time so can we please not make a big deal out of this." I ask my two enraged colleagues all the while shooting my own daggers at Richard who stands there looking indifferent.
"You said you were on OUR side! How could you...date the enemy, this is treachery!" Maggie exclaims
"I'm on the hospitals side! Eliza isn't the enemy here!"
"She's sure as hell not our friend!" Jackson re-butts.
"Oh for god sakes Avery, grow up! This isn't about friends and enemies, we aren't in High School." I scoff.
"So you would betray Richard for a bit on the side! Is that how much he means to you? Is that the extent of your loyalty, some pretty chick bats her eyelashes at you and you turn against us!" Maggie say's viciously and my whole body tenses.
"You have no idea what you're talking about Dr Pierce and I'm telling you in no uncertain terms to mind your own business!" I bite back.
Anger is coursing through my body, anger at their judgement, anger at their attitude towards Eliza who they haven't given a chance and anger at Richard who I thought was one of my best friends. He supported me during the Callie fiasco, and I really thought he'd have my back through anything. It's clear now a line has been drawn and I know what side these three sit on.
"OK I think everyone should just walk away, there are people starting to stare." say's April who has remained tight lipped this whole time.
"Oh I suppose you support this, I'm not surprised considering your loyalties." Maggie snarks at April.
"Oh grow up Maggie! The lot of you grow up! Eliza is just here doing her job and if any of you took the time to actually look at what she is trying to do you's might find that it's not the big evil plan you all keep making it out to be!" April volleys right back.
Before I can say anything Jackson grabs the chart roughly off the nurses station and walks off, "Well at least we know who we can rely on around here." he throws one more comment in before storming off.
"Traitors both of you!" Maggie hisses before following Jackson.
I turn to Richard, hurt and appalled. "Are you happy now?"
"No not one bit." he shortly replies before walking off.
Releasing a deep sigh I stand there staring after him feeling nothing but anger with a hint of betrayed. I know he thinks I betrayed him first but I at least talked to him, I would have never done what he just did to me.
"I think I'll leave you two alone but we'll catch up soon yeah?" April say's kindly to me.
"Yeah of course." I say distractedly as she casts me a look full of pity before disappearing.
"Arizona? Are you Ok?" Eliza breaks me out of my inner thoughts.
"Yes...no...I don't know." I say and before I can stop myself, I feel tears leaking down my face.
"Hey hey, no please don't cry" Eliza say's to me softly.
"I'm sorry, god this is such a mess right now" I sniffle as I wipe my face.
"I can give you some space...I understand if this...us is just going to be too hard." Eliza offers.
Those words hit me squarely in the chest. "No! I want this, I meant what I said earlier. It's a mess, but it's not your fault. Stuff them!" I say resolutely.
"Arizona...It's OK to be hurt, they're your friends, colleagues, you've known them a lot longer than me" she say's diplomatically.
"Friends don't treat each other that way. What I do in my own time, who I see, it's not their business. Look lets just get out of here. My shifts over in half an hour, I'll meet you out front soon?" I look to her hopefully.
After that confrontation I just want to get out of here as soon as possible.
"You sure you still want to come over?" she asks.
Moving forward not caring who is nearby I lean in and plant a soft chaste kiss against her cheek. "I want nothing more than to go to your place, drink some wine and just...spend some time together..if that's still what you want to do?" I double check.
"More than anything".
"Then meet you in half an hour outside?" I say as I start to move away.
"It's a date!" Eliza say's happily as she starts to go in the opposite direction.
Despite what just happened I smile goofily because if there's anything that's going to make me feel better it's Eliza. I'm hurt, I'm angry and I'm not sure what's going to happen now that I'll be the talk of gossip for weeks to come. I don't know how Alex will react or Meredith or Owen or anybody else but right now...I couldn't care less. All I care about is getting out of here and spending time with a woman that is slowly but surely becoming something very important to me.
The rest...well none of it really matters.
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