Prompt: Write a scene around the conversation: "Delivery wasn't so bad, right?" "Fuck you."
Chrom stared down at the tiny bundle in his arms, his and Robin's new daughter. She had certainly taken her sweet time getting here; Robin had been in labor for nearly nineteen hours before Lucina had made her appearance, and even then it was with some extra help from the doctor, Robin being too exhausted to push the little girl out at the end. The important thing though, was she was here, and she was perfect.
"How are you doing over there, Robin?" Chrom asked, looking up from his precious daughter's face to his wife's exhausted one.
"I've seen better days. I'm just relieved she's finally here." was the weak reply.
"Aw, come on, the delivery wasn't so bad, right? And now we've got our beautiful baby girl, and-"
"Fuck you, it was terrible. Don't even joke right now, Chrom."
"Whoa! Robin, the hours immediately after birth are when babies are the most impressionable. Please don't curse in front of the baby."
Robin's eyes narrowed. "If I wasn't confined to this bed, I'd come over there and end you. This is not the time."
"Okay, someone is still a bit sore. We'll keep to ourselves, then."
"No, I want to see her again. I just don't want your remarks, as well."
Chrom chuckled as he got up. "Alright. Would you like to count her fingers and toes again? Maybe see if she'll eat?"
"I'm sure she's still got twelve of each, and she'll eat when she's ready."
Chrom blinked, taking a moment to process what she had said. "Oh, so you get to make jokes, but if I do, you'll end me?"
"Yes, because I was the one who went through the birthing, thus, I am allowed to joke." Robin said, as Chrom handed the bundle back to her.
"I suppose that's fair. Seeing as I didn't have something her size exit through my-"
"Don't start. You can't even imagine what her birth felt like." Robin said, getting Lucina comfortable with laying on her chest so she could snuggle her close.
"I can imagine it, but I don't want to."
"No, you really can't. And I think you should stop talking now. You'll wake the baby."
"I will not."
"Ssh, Chrom. Just let there be silence."
He was silent, and it was a good thing he was; had he continued talking, he would have missed the precious little baby noises from the little girl as she awoke and figured out her surroundings.