Sorry I forgot to mention this at the beginning (I'm going back to add it now) but there is mention of self-injury and rape in this story. I won't write about it happening, but characters will talk about it—just a warning that they could be triggers. Also, a character is currently struggling with an eating disorder.

Kida stared into ruby eyes, breathless. His heart raced as he slipped his hand into the raven's, interlacing their fingers. "Izaya... I'm ready."

The informant kissed his cheek. "It's only been a week… Are you sure? There's no rush."

"I never expected," Kida said, lips curling upwards, "you to be so hesitant about this. I figured you to be the kind of person to just bend me over on your desk and take me."

Izaya grinned. "Trust me; that's exactly what I want to do." His smile softened, and he cupped the boy's face. "But not at the expense of making you uncomfortable. I've been holding back for quite a long time; I can control my urges awhile longer."

"How long?"

"Sexually or romantically?"

Kida averted his eyes in embarrassment. "Both."

The informant hesitated. "Masaomi, you really don't want to know the truth."

He wrinkled his nose. "Yes, I do."

"You'll hate me," he said in a small voice—strange for Izaya.

The teen was silent for a moment. "I've hated you before. I got over it."

He sighed. "This will be a lengthy tale."

"I want to know."

Izaya nodded. "Well, since you were the leader of the Yellow Scarves, I'd been carefully watching your actions for a few months before I actually introduced myself. In that time, I realized there was much more to you than I'd originally thought. You weren't like other Shoguns—keeping your gang from using unnecessary violence, calculating moves equivalent to an experienced gangster, and hiding under a guise of flirtation and a carefree attitude around your peers. That intrigued me. Most humans at that age aren't nearly as intelligent and mature as you." He spun the teen around and leaned against the wall, pulling the boy's back to his chest. He knew that Kida was most at ease in this position. If he intended to explain what really happened, he needed to place him in a comfortable environment. Kida wouldn't like his next words.

"I knew that I needed an excuse to get close to you. If I simply approached you, offering information, the talented Shogun would be suspicious. So... I used Saki as means to gain your trust." As expected, the boy tensed. He kissed his temple and joined their hands. "You started dating far sooner than I'd anticipated, and I was upset by it. I thought about you all the time, especially when you were with Saki. I was experiencing new feelings, and the foreignness of them began to make me uncomfortable. I sought Saki's opinion—she has a far greater understanding of emotions, and I figured that she could tell me what was wrong. She said that I was jealous—that I liked you in a romantic sense. I denied this immediately, of course, but she made the interesting point that I'd never wanted anyone in that way, so I didn't know what it felt like. I thought that over for days until I finally realized that she was right. I..." His voice caught. He had to speak carefully; this was an emotional conversation for Kida—he was explaining why and how he destroyed his life.

"I couldn't take it anymore. But each time I thought about having Saki break up with you, I was led to the outcome of you either trying to win her back, or mourning the loss of your first girlfriend. That's when I realized that you weren't in love with her. There was something in the way you acted around her that was...off. I knew then that I had to make you aware of this. So... I told Saki to purposefully be captured by the Blue Squares. I can't... I can't even begin to describe how absolutely excruciating it was to know how scared and lost you were. You didn't save her, and you realized that you never loved her. The self-loathing you felt was my doing, and I was pained to know that, yet I was forced to portray apathy for your emotions and excitement for my victorious plan. After that, I watched you from afar, as I had in the past. I waited for you to come back, but you didn't act as I'd expected. You left the Yellow Scarves behind and tried to live a normal life, never facing what happened—burying it deep inside. When you became attached to that Anri girl, I was jealous all over again, and it was worse this time—I didn't have control over her." Kida whimpered, and he released his unintentionally tight grip on his hand. He petted the boy's golden hair instead.

"I stepped in, making it seem like a chance encounter. Your friend created the Dollars, and I finally saw my opening, my chance to get you back. You finally began to act according to my expectations. You came to me, asking for information, and I gave it to you without charge. I reeled you in once again, slowly earning your trust as you worked your way up to officially being my employee." Izaya soothingly dragged his fingers up and down Kida's forearm.

The informant's voice softened as he recalled the past. "I grew more fond of you as the days passed, finding it increasingly difficult to disguise my feelings. After about two months of you working for me, I made a joke. You...smiled at me, genuinely. Call me cheesy but, in that moment, I fell in love. Every day following that, I yearned to see you smile again. Whenever you did, a feeling of pure joy overwhelmed me. One day, I felt the urge to touch you, so I brushed through your hair. You didn't flinch away, and I was happy. Well, you know what happened after that: hair petting turned into hand holding; hand holding eventually turned into watching movies together—my arm around you and your head on my shoulder. Late nights at my office grew more frequent, and I offered you my bed, while I slept on the couch. I must say, I was surprised when you asked if I wanted to stay in the bed with you. When you..." Izaya blushed—grateful that Kida couldn't see his face in their position.

"When you removed your shirt, I saw how much you'd grown over the years. You weren't in middle school anymore; you'd filled out—were no longer small and lanky. You're 17—a young man who had become masculine and sexy. I developed a physical attraction towards you, and my urges were nearly impossible to conceal. I may speak as though I'm above other humans, but I still have emotions and...needs. Being around you made me very cognizant of them. Another month passed, and you decided to shower here. You sat on my desk without a shirt on, watching me work..." He cleared his throat. "I slipped up; I thought it was an invitation. I was shocked, to say the least, when you were confused by my actions." Izaya smiled. "You know, I take pride in my ability to talk my way out of situations. I didn't think you'd buy my explanation of how I considered kissing to be platonic."

Kida chuckled. "I remember that. I wouldn't have accepted that from anyone else, but you aren't like everyone else. I didn't really consider you to be a person who dated and had sex, but you still have a natural human curiosity for physical contact. I figured that you wanted to know what it was like, and we already cuddled and even slept together platonically, so I assumed that kissing was the same to you."

"Did you think I did that with other people?"

"Well... I didn't really want to know. I guess I was like you in not understanding that I was jealous—or could be if I found out that you had. Have you?" Kida asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"As you said, I'm not one to date, but I also wanted to have the experience of intimacy—and I have hormones, like everyone else. I hate being vulnerable around anyone, so I didn't see having that kind of physical contact practical. When I was fifteen, Roppi kept asking me all these questions about intimacy and which gender I preferred. I admitted that I wished for it and, well, he offered himself as a fulfillment of my fantasies. He said that it was alright because we were only half brothers, so I agreed."

"And you just let him be on top? That's hard to believe. Even at that age, I can't see you willingly submit to anyone."

"I didn't. He said that he understood my confusion in sexual preference and what I like, so we did both. After awhile, though, it was more frequently him that acted as the dominant role. He hates being on the bottom even more than I do... And he's really good at seducing me..."

"Roppi is the only person you've been with? I mean, I've heard rumors that lovers of yours have called you a 'god in bed,'" he said in a playful tone, hiding his fearfulness of the possible answer.

Izaya smiled. "Yeah, random people here and there; I picked up a few moves. There was one time with Psyche, but he didn't like it—he's weird, I know—so that was the extent of it. Hibiya wanted to top once, but I refuse to submit to anyone but Roppi." Izaya noticed the teen sigh silently, and laughed in response. "Yes, that also applies to you."

Kida turned around to look at the raven. "Are you still going to do those things with him?"

The informant stroked the younger male's back. "You are the only one I want sexually and romantically. I ceased my involvement with Roppi—and everyone else—shortly after you met Anri. I tried to use him as a distraction, but that failed miserably. When he didn't help, I sought out intimacy from others… But I realized after a few months that no amount of sexual release could take away my feelings towards you." He kissed the teen briefly. "Now you know everything." Izaya paused. "That was kind of a mood killer," he muttered.

"What do you mean? Learning about what really happened with Saki was…interesting, and that stuff about your past was informative, but..." Kida removed his shirt and placed the man's hands on his hips. "Hearing you explain when and how you became attracted to me—calling me sexy—saying that I constantly turned you on… You got me all worked up."

Izaya ran his hands along the smooth skin on his sides. "You're sure?"

"Yes! Now stop asking and do something already."

"As you wish, my love." The informant pulled him closer and kissed his neck. He nibbled on the skin and groped his ass. When Kida squeaked from the action, he laughed silently, breathing cool air onto his collarbone.

Kida shivered. "Izaya," he whined, "don't tease me."

"I was setting the mood. Someone's a bit too frustrated for foreplay, hm?"

"That's not what I meant," he muttered.

"That's exactly what you meant." He dropped the boy onto his back and unbuckled his pants. Kida raised his hips to let him take off the jeans and boxers. Izaya sat back on his heels and whistled. "You take care of yourself. Do you always shave?"

Pink dusted Kida's cheeks as he used his arms to cover himself up.

Izaya gently removed the arms. He touched his lips to his navel and trailed kisses up to his mouth. "Don't hide from me."

"Then don't look at me in that way."

Izaya smiled. "In what way? In admiration? With lust? I like your body; there's no need to be self-conscious."

Kida pulled him down and traced patterns on his torso. "Your body is the one that should be admired. You're more muscular than I thought you'd be."

"You've seen me without a shirt."

"Yeah, but I never really paid attention. Up close, I can see—feel—how toned you are."

"Well, my job requires agility and physical strength. I work out."

The blonde giggled. "Was that supposed to be a pick-up line?"

Izaya unclothed his lower half. "I don't need one. I already have you in my bed," he purred.

Kida looked at Izaya's naked body and widened his eyes. He immediately looked away, trying to conceal his expression, but not before the informant saw. "You're cute when you're embarrassed." He affectionately tapped his nose.

"It's not that…"

"Hm? Please enlighten me."

"It's, um… Y-you're just—I d-didn't expect… Um," Kida stuttered, not sure how to go about wording his shock of how incredibly big Izaya was.

The raven grinned, understanding. "Don't worry; I'll prepare you first. It won't hurt too badly."

He nodded. "Okay—just hurry up." His arousal was throbbing with need. He knew he wouldn't last long, given his inexperience, and he felt an overwhelming need to release.

Izaya grabbed a bottle of lube from his nightstand's drawer and coated his fingers. Watching the boy's reaction, he slowly inserted one finger. After it was completely in, he added another and began to gently stretch him.

Kida tried to restrain himself from squirming around when he felt the first finger. It was more uncomfortable than he'd expected. When another entered, he squeezed his eyes shut and grunted in pain. "Izaya, it hurts," he whined.

"Yeah, I know. It'll feel better soon."

In that moment, the raven brushed against a sensitive spot inside him. The teen gasped and arched off the bed. "There," he breathed. "That feels…really good." Izaya continued to move his fingers in the same way. A few seconds later, Kida couldn't hold it in any longer, and released onto his stomach. The older male hit the same place again a few times, and his member stiffened.

"Well, it seems that we're ready to go." He grabbed the lube again and thoroughly coated his length. He spread the blonde's legs and gradually entered him, knowing that he was in pain. "Try to relax." When Kida clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes watering, he leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry," he soothed. "It won't hurt for much longer." Once he was fully inside, he looked to the boy for approval. "I'll only move when you're ready."

Kida placed a hand on the older male's shoulder. The pain was searing, and he felt as though he'd be ripped apart, but he knew that Izaya would be gentle. He looked at the man and took a deep breath. "Ok," he said, his voice strained. "Go ahead."

Izaya nodded. "I'll be slow at first." He picked up a decent pace, carefully angling his hips to avoid any unnecessary pain. He sped up after a few minutes, noticing that the boy had mostly gotten used to him. He pumped the blonde's erection in time with his thrusts, adding some pleasure.

Kida's eyes flew open, and he dug his nails into the raven's shoulder. "Th-there. Again… You hit it… again," he said, panting. He had adjusted to the man's size, and was now able to feel the gratification that normally came with the act. He moaned loudly. "Nnngh. So…good."

The informant nibbled on his earlobe and sped up. "You're so tight. I won't last very long." Masaomi let out a moan that shot straight to his dick. The blonde released a second time. Feeling his member being tightly squeezed from the boy's climax, he knew was getting close. "Inside or outside?" he asked. "Hah—choose quickly."

He raked his brain for what the man was asking, but was unable to comprehend the words. "What?"

Of course he doesn't know. He's a virgin—an exhausted, dazed virgin. With one final, hard thrust, he pulled out, spilling onto the boy's stomach. When he collected himself, holding onto Kida's knees, he said, "I meant, do you want me to come inside? For future reference, which would you prefer?"

Still trying to catch his breath—still in a trance-like state—he replied, "I, um, I don't know."

"I see… We'll talk about next time. Anyway, was that good for you?"

Masaomi smiled at the hint of insecurity in his tone. "Amazing. You?"

The older male also grinned. "The best I've ever had." He flopped down next to the boy and grabbed his hand.

"Don't lie for my sake."

"Lie? You really think that I've enjoyed sex more with anyone other than you?" He laughed quietly. "Masaomi, I've been imagining this for months, and it lived up to my expectations. You have no idea what those beautiful noises you make do to me, an—"

"Okay!" Kida flushed. "I get it…"

Izaya kissed his cheek. "Why don't you go clean up? I'll take a shower once you're done." He got up on one elbow and scanned the small body. "You need it sooner."

Red colored his neck and face. "Well… Um, you could always…get in with me…"

The raven raised an eyebrow. "Oh? That's a marvelous idea." He scooped up the younger male, not without protest, and carried him into the bathroom, and then the shower.

Everything about Izaya's apartment was luxurious, especially his bathroom. It was nearly as large as the bedroom, with a black, porcelain bathtub—which mirrored the color and material of the sink and toilet. The walls were gold, along with the other décor. Black and gold tile decorated a glass-door shower that rivaled the size of Kida's entire bathroom.

Kida was placed in the shower and shoved into the wall. He heard the water turn on as Izaya grasped his head and kissed him roughly, waiting patiently for the boy to slowly part his lips and accept the sudden gesture. He immediately felt a tongue glide across his lower lip, and he opened his mouth to allow the man in. The blonde was yanked forward through the stream of warm water. It hit his shoulders and the back of his head, streaming down his back and dirtied stomach.

Not breaking the kiss, the informant grabbed a bar of soap and started to lather the boy. Masaomi moaned as nimble hands caressed his skin, feeling all of his body. When the cum was cleaned off, an arm wrapped around his waist to hold their bodies together. Kida blushed, not able to hide his erection because it was pressed against the man. He reddened further when he felt a smirk—undoubtedly because of his arousal—against his lips.

Izaya licked the blonde's ear. "Shall I show off my strength?"

"Sure?"

"Jump on me."

"… What?"

"You won't knock me over; I'll catch you." Kida didn't move. With an impatient sigh, the raven clutched the back of the boy's legs. "Just grab my shoulders." The teen complied, and held tighter when he was lifted into the air. "Wrap your legs around me."

"Izaya I don't know about this…" he said nervously. He knew what Izaya intended to do, and it seemed like a position that would leave both of them very sore.

The older male snickered. "It won't hurt much more than earlier. I told you that I want to show off my strength, right? I won't drop you or throw out my back. Trust me; this will be great."

Kida nodded. "I trust you."

Izaya grabbed the boy's upper thighs, holding them firmly against his body, and plunged inside completely.

Masaomi screamed and shuddered. "I-Izaya, it hurts."

"Ah, this position lets me get in a bit deeper, so it'll be somewhat painful at first. We just had sex, though, so you aren't too tight."

The blonde threw his head back and groaned as the elder male thrusted in and hit his prostate. He dug his nails into the man's back and hid his face in the crook of his neck, panting and groaning. "Hah… Nnghh—s-so good," he breathed.

Izaya picked up the pace, trying his best not to bounce the boy—which would result in back problems for days. He angled his hips slightly to hit deeper, and both male's breathing hitched in pleasure. Kida came with a loud cry, his release washed away by the water.

"Masaomi, can I come inside this time since we can clean it up right away?"

"Yeah," he mumbled faintly, still coming down.

After a few minutes, Izaya finished, spilling inside the boy. Feeling the hot liquid fill him, Kida climaxed again, barely keeping his hold on the man's shoulders.

Izaya lifted the boy off of him and placed him on his feet. Exhausted, the blonde leaned against his lover, letting him support his weight. As he caught his breath, the informant washed away the white fluid tricking down the teen's thigh.

Izaya kissed him and smiled. "We have to do that again very soon."

Thanks for the support, guys! Your reviews and messages are really encouraging. I'm really excited about this story. I'm having a lot of fun with it.

See you soon :)