Date: 4/7 is my friend Kenny's birthday.

Don't fool yourself
Into thinking things are simple
Nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
Why do you try to hold on
To what you'll never get a hold on
You wouldn't try to put the ocean
In a paper cup

~ Ani DiFranco :: Hour Follows Hour ~

Hour follows hour…

12/24 4:07 pm

"Did you get all of your shopping done?" Lucy asked as a weary Sue dropped her bags to the floor and collapsed on the couch.

"Yes. Finally. I even found some nice things for Jack's parents."

"I'm sure you didn't have to get them anything."

"I know, but I wanted to. I mean, they did invite me to spend Christmas with them. I still feel like I'm intruding."

"Are you kidding? I saw Jack kiss you yesterday." Sue's eyes went wide and she blushed furiously. "I have a feeling that all Jack wants for Christmas is you."

"Lucy!"

"What? I think it's about time you admitted your feelings for Jack to someone. And who better than me?"

"I haven't even admitted it to myself, Lucy, because it just can't be."

"What do you mean?"

"The rules at work. We can't work together and date each other. It's against policy."

"It's a dumb policy."

"Even so, it's the rules. And I just don't see Ted bending the rules. Even for us. So it really doesn't matter that I'm in love with Jack because right now I don't think either of us are ready to give up our jobs." Sue sighed again, feeling defeated, and looked at Lucy who looked happier than she had seen her in a long time. "What? What are you so happy about?"

"Well, you can cross off the whole admitted to yourself thing."

"What do you mean?"

"You just said you are in love with Jack."

"I did?" Lucy nodded. "I did." She spoke slowly turning the words over in her mouth. "I'm in love with Jack."

Lucy squealed. "You're in love with Jack!"

"This is terrible."

"This is fantastic!" Lucy stood, clapping her hands together in joy, before turning back to face Sue. "Wait, why is this terrible?"

"I just told you. Even if Jack feels the same…"

"Which he does," Lucy interrupted.

"We can't be together. Not if we both want to continue working at the FBI."

"Sure you can."

"How?"

"I don't know yet, but we'll find a way." She glanced at her watch and then back at Sue. "I have to get going or I'm going to be late. Just do me a favor. Have fun with Jack and his parents. Relax and enjoy the holiday. Don't think about work or policies or anything like that. Talk to Jack, try and find out how he feels about you - which I already know, anyway - and when you get back from Ohio we can formulate a plan."

"Formulate a plan?"

"Just humor me."

Sue looked at her for a moment, shrugged, and finally signed, "Okay."

~*~*~*~

She went through about five different outfits before finally settling on a light pink cashmere sweater and black pants. Lucy had given her the sweater for Christmas, a velvety soft V-neck that dipped down far lower than anything else Sue owned. Lucy had chuckled at Sue's shocked face and had told her she needed to loosen up. "Well," Sue shrugged mentally, "better now than later." She pulled on her favorite black boots, ran her fingers through her hair – down, as Jack liked it – and after glancing in the mirror one last time, called the outfit a success.

"What do you think, Levi," she asked as she gave a twirl. The dog came running toward her, but Sue stopped him before her pants became mottled with auburn dog hair. Levi had stopped, but he continued barking and it took Sue a second to realize Jack must be at the door.

When Sue opened the door, Jack felt for a brief moment as if he was having another heart attack. Sue smiled at him and said "hello" but it took Jack's brain a few extra seconds to register and she blushed as Jack stared at her.

"Wow, you look… Wow."

Thank you, Sue signed, still flustered by the raw attraction she saw on Jack's face.

Jack couldn't help himself, he leaned in and kissed her on the lips, a slow, passionate kiss that warmed Sue from the inside out. She had been kissed before, kissed by Jack before, but never like this.

The kiss ended too soon for Sue, who would have stayed in that moment forever if she had the choice. Jack pulled back slowly and studied Sue's face trying to gauge her reaction. She looked surprised, but not angry. Definitely not angry. In fact, she kind of looked like she wanted to be kissed again. And Jack was tempted, but he was beginning to think if he kissed her again they would never make it to his apartment and his awaiting parents.

"We should probably go," he said slowly. "My parents are probably wondering where we are."

"Yeah," Sue said softly, realizing Jack was right. She gathered up her things, still trying to sort out in her mind what just happened. Somehow it all felt like a dream, but as she reached over to pick up her purse, she saw Jack, crouched down and petting Levi, and she knew it was real. "I think this is everything," she said as she stood, loaded down with bags.

She headed for the door then stopped suddenly. "Oh, can you grab Levi?"

Jack reached out and touched Sue's arm so she would turn around. She had her purse over one shoulder, a carry-on bag in her right hand and another bag full of Christmas gifts in her left. She looked as if a strong breeze would knock her out of her precarious balance. Jack smiled.

"You are beautiful," he signed.

Sue flushed both from the compliment and from the way Jack was looking at her. He made her feel beautiful and attractive and loved. And he did it just by looking at her.

After a moment, she smiled softly. "I'd sign 'thank you' in return, but I'm afraid that's not possible at this moment." Jack chuckled, picked up her suitcase, Levi's leash, and locked the door behind them.

~*~*~*~

On their way to Jack's, a light snow began to fall. By the time they arrived, large, wet snowflakes drifted to the ground in droves. The air was crisp and clean, winter cold masking the normal big city smell.

Jack laughed as Sue stuck out her tongue to try and catch a snowflake. "You realize that's DC snow you're ingesting," he said.

Sue cringed but continued with her game. "You're only young once," she shrugged as she caught another flake. Well, since her tongue was out while she spoke, it really sounded more like "Or own-wee ung unce" which made Jack laugh harder.

Sue watched him speak out of the corner of her eye. "Do you think we could go inside before you consume the entire snowstorm? It's freezing out here."

Sue lowered her head and stuck her tongue out at Jack. "Spoil sport," she grinned as they headed inside.

The warmth of Jack's apartment was a welcome change from the frigid air outside, as were the warm hugs from John and Mary Hudson. Sue embraced them gladly.

"Thank you, again, for inviting me. The more I thought about it the less I wanted to spend tonight alone."

"Think nothing of it, dear," Mary said as she helped Sue with her bags. "We are so happy to spend the holiday with you."

Sue smiled and looked at Jack. "So am I."

Jack took their coats and hung them up, giving Sue a quick kiss on the cheek as he headed into the living room. Sue signed something to Jack and then Jack signed back, their hands flying, as John and Mary looked on. Finally, they stopped, Sue pouting and Jack with a smirk on his face.

"Mind filling the rest of us in?" Mary asked.

"Oh, sorry, Mom," Jack chuckled. "Sue asked me when she gets her Christmas present."

"And Jack asked me how I knew I was getting one – he said he wanted to know if I'd been a good girl this year."

"I'm sure you've been better than Jack," John chimed in. "Well, definitely a better girl than Jack, but I'm sure you've also been better behaved."

Jack and Sue both laughed. "That's what I told him," Sue continued. "I said that I know I've at least been better than you, Sparky," she added, finger spelling the name.

"What's that?" asked Mary.

"Sparky," Sue responded, saying the name and spelling it slowly. Mary mimicked her. "That's right."

"How did you come by this nickname, Jack?"

"Well, Mom, it was divined upon me by Bobby. Why, I don't really know, but unfortunately, it's stuck."

"Suiting, somehow," John said as he draped his arm around Jack's shoulder.

"Thanks, Dad. Appreciate it."

"Anytime."

"So, who's hungry? Dinner is just about ready. Since you're leaving early afternoon tomorrow, I went ahead and prepared Christmas dinner for tonight."

John moved away from his son to wrap both arms around his wife's waist. "Mary is the best cook this side of the Atlantic and she has prepared a feast."

"Why thank you, John, but that still isn't going to get you out of washing the dishes. You know the rules."

"Whoever doesn't cook does the dishes," Sue offered.

"Oh, you had the same rules at your house?" Mary asked.

"No, actually, when Jack and I were married… lived together… were undercover he explained the rules to me."

John and Mary smiled at each other and then at the flustered Sue. "Well that's nice, glad that Jack learned something growing up."

"It's a start, Mary, it's a start." They headed off to the kitchen and Sue burst out in laughter.

"I really love your parents, Jack. I can see where you get your sense of humor."

Jack acted hurt. "Thanks for not standing up for me! I made a damn good husband."

Sue looked thoughtful for a moment. "Eh, you were okay."

"Okay? Just okay? That's it, you're in trouble." Jack came after her and chased her around the living room, finally catching her from behind and tickling her sides.

"I give up! I give up!" Sue said between bursts of laughter. "You win."

Jack spun her around I his arms so she could see what he was saying.

"What was that? I what?"

"You…" Sue held Jack's gaze and leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder. Jack tightened his embrace and relaxed. Sue took advantage of the moment and slowly lowered her arms to Jack's waist. Before he knew what was happening, Sue began tickling him. Caught off guard, Jack double over laughing and Sue escaped.

When Jack caught up with her, she had made her way into the kitchen. "That wasn't very fair," he pouted.

Sue grinned and signed something. Jack begrudgingly agreed. "Yeah, you're right. Life's not fair."

"Am I going to have to sit you two at opposite ends of the table or will you be able to behave yourselves?" Mary teased. She loved watching Jack and Sue flirt and banter, knowing full well they were each trying to fight the attraction they felt for each other. She knew the regulations at work, knew they weren't supposed to date, which is why she cherished this Christmas so much. They could be together, completely together, without the watchful eye of the FBI over their shoulders.

They sat down to dinner, which was as delicious as promised, and told stories from Christmases past and had an altogether wonderful time. After dinner, Sue stood with the men to help clean up, but Mary stopped her. "Consider it an early Christmas gift from Jack. Let's go into the living room and chat." John and Jack gathered up the dishes and set to work in the kitchen while Sue and Mary relaxed with a glass of wine.

"So, Jack, you've been studiously avoiding talking about Sue."

"How so?"

John set down the dishtowel and faced his son. "Just like that. You seem crazy about each other, but you still insist you're 'just friends.' That can't be all that you want."

Jack rinsed the last dish, loaded it in the dishwasher, and shut the door. He looked to his father. "No, it's not. But it's all I've got right now and it's better than nothing."

"You can't keep going on like this forever. You're either going to spontaneously combust or someone else is going to come along and steal Sue away from you. She's a wonderful woman."

"I know that," Jack said sharply. "I know," softer. "It's just that right now neither of us are ready to leave our jobs. When it gets to that point, I hope we can face it together."

John pulled his son into a hug. "I'm proud of you, Jack."

"For what?"

"Just let your father be melodramatic for a moment, will you?"

"Sure, Dad. Man, you're getting mellow in your old age."

"Oh, really?" John pulled Jack into a headlock and tugged at his hair. "You know, I used to have a full head of hair like you do."

~*~*~*~

In the other room, Mary was having a much more direct conversation with Sue.

"You're in love with my son, aren't you?"

Flabbergasted, Sue looked from Mary to the kitchen, back to Mary, and back to the kitchen. "Uh… Well…"

"That answers that," Mary smiled. "I am so glad."

Sue let out a deep breath and smiled back. Mary reached over and hugged her. When she let go, she took Sue's chin into her hand. "He loves you, you know that, don't you?"

Sue's eyes filled with tears but before she could respond, the men came back into the room. Sue stood quickly and walked over to the window, wiping away her tears and gazing out at the snowstorm.

She felt a hand on her back and she knew it was Jack. She turned to face him. "You okay?" he asked touching her cheek.

"Better than okay."

"Good. It's time for gifts." Sue's eyes shone with excitement. Jack chuckled. "Not big gifts. We're doing our family tradition. We each get to open one gift on Christmas Eve before church. The rest wait for Christmas day."

"I'll take what I can get." Sue walked over to her bag and rifled through, pulling out three gifts. "I'm ready."

"You're really into Christmas, aren't you?"

"Of course! It's one of the most important holy days, includes a beautiful mass, and you get presents."

"At least you have your priorities straight."

Before Sue could respond, Mary called them over to the living room.

"Sue, why don't you go first." Mary began to go for a gift, but Sue handed her one instead. "Oh, thank you. I meant you could open first."

"No, you go ahead," she said smiling as she handed John and Jack each of their gifts.

"This is just lovely," Mary exclaimed, opening her gift. It was the picture of Jack and Sue that she had found at the Christmas party. Sue had it cropped and enlarged and put in a silver frame that was etched with a fine floral design. Mary showed the picture to John who looked at it appreciatively. "You do make one good looking couple. Well, at least half of you do."

"Hey!" Jack threw a pillow at his father in protest.

"Open your gift, John," Mary said, "and keep your mouth shut for a change." John grinned and kissed his wife on the cheek.

"She always keeps me on my toes." He unwrapped his package and chuckled. "A Sort of History of the United States?"

"Jack said you were a history buff, so I figured you would like this book. It's hysterical."

John turned the first few pages. "Everything in history takes place on October 8th. How convenient." He read some more and guffawed. "Leave it to Dave Barry. This is great, thank you."

Jack was turning his gift over in his hands, surprised at the weight of it. "Go ahead, open it," Sue said.

Jack carefully peeled off the wrapping paper and revealed a small box. He opened it and looked at Sue, confused. "A Detroit Redwings hockey puck?"

"They are your favorite team, aren't they?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"Just consider it a hint," she grinned.

Mary handed Jack and Sue their gifts. Jack opened his revealing a gray and black sweater. "Thanks, Mom, just what every boy wants. Clothes."

"Stop being such a smarty pants. You're hard to shop for."

Jack gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. "I know." He sat back down and held the sweater up to his chest. "I like it."

"Well, I'm glad. Go ahead and open yours, Sue. It's just something little."

Sue opened up her package revealing a small silver and crystal broche in the shape of a flower. "It's beautiful. Thank you." She stood and hugged Mary, handing her the pin so she could help her put it on. "I love it. It's absolutely perfect." She sat back down next to Jack and he threw his arm around her shoulders.

"My turn." He handed her a box, which felt heavy, and she wondered if they'd duplicated Christmas gifts again this year. Somehow, she doubted Jack had given her a hockey puck. She waited for Jack's parents to open their gift first. He gave them a gift certificate for a local restaurant. "I figured you could have lunch there one of the days I'm working."

"How thoughtful," Mary smiled.

"Yeah, thanks, son."

"No problem."

Not able to stand the suspense anymore, Sue ripped into her gift revealing a pretty red velvet box. Her eyes darted to Jack. He was grinning but his expression revealed nothing. Sue slowly opened the box and revealed a Lennox crystal jewelry box in the shape of a heart. She looked at Jack again, surprised.

"Just consider it a hint," he said with a smirk. Sue stared at him.

"Let me see, Sue." Jack pointed in Mary's direction and signed "wants to see." Sue turned and showed her the jewelry box. "That's beautiful. And a Lennox. You have good taste, Jack."

Sue was still trying to process what Jack had said. If a jewelry box was a hint… that clearly implied jewelry was her gift. And jewelry implied a lot more. It certainly implied a lot more than "just friends."

"Well, kids, I don't know about you but we old people are going to need a little rest if we're going to make it through midnight mass." John stood and held out his hand for Mary, who took it and stood as well.

"I'm okay. How about you?"

"I'm fine. I really should take Levi out for a walk before we go anyway."

"Sounds like a plan. Just make sure that your father and I are up by 10:00."

"Will do." Jack stood and mimicked his father's actions by reaching his hand out for Sue. She looked up at him for a moment before she took his hand and stood.

"A hint, huh?" she said.

"Torture, isn't it?"