Hi! I know it's been quite a while since I updated this story, and that's been bothering me for a long time. Since St Patrick's Day will be coming up again before I know it, here's a little chapter to get this story moving! Your opinions, comments, and reviews are always welcome! :)

Chapter Three

"Look, Doc," Cliff said once the door was shut. "If this is about your wife's research-"

"Quite the opposite," Frasier said. "In fact, I want you to banish that whole grotesque charade from your mind. Here, have a seat."

The psychiatrist guided the mailman to the office's battered old couch and pulled over a chair for himself.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

"Well, I—"

"Please lie down. Relax," Frasier said, snatching a pen and legal pad from Rebecca's desk and flipping to a blank page. "We've known each other for a while now, Cliff. You trust me, don't you?"

"Actually, I uh—"

"Then, let's get straight to the point," Frasier interrupted. "Now, I'm assuming – and correct me if I'm off base here – but, I'm assuming the crippling levels of anxiety you experience when confronted with the prospect of seeking and/or receiving the attentions of the opposite sex has its roots in a fundamental lack of belief in your own worth as a sexually mature man – particularly when it comes to picturing yourself in the role of 'romantic partner.' You did once say your father abandoned you and your mother when you were at the formative age of nine?"

"I, uh, may have revealed that—"

Frasier nodded and scribbled in his pad, barely listening.

"You're named after your father, aren't you," he said. "It's Cliff Clavin, Jr., am I right."

"Yeah," Cliff said. "The old man—"

"Yes, yes, which, of course, is all the more reason you would become the unwitting victim of your mother's reaction to her partner leaving the family unit, of her dominating, moralizing attitude – coupled, might I suppose, with childhood surgery to correct a minor harelip and the outbreak of severe acne during your teenage years?"

Cliff frowned and sat up.

"Hey! How did you—"

"Please, Cliff, I'm a doctor," Frasier said with a brief glance at the mailman's oily skin and mousy mustache. "The point is, these elements contributed to the fact that you were ridiculed and marginalized at every stage of your social, physical, and mental development, influencing the numerous defensive, yet self-diminishing habits and behaviors that have shaped your personality and life choices."

"Gee, I, uh… I never thought of it like that," Cliff said. "Hey, Doc, do you think, if I dropped by your office, you could—"

"No, no, it would take years to work through that swampy morass, and I don't have that kind of time," Frasier said, waving his hand dismissively. "What we want is to cut through the talk and the training and the esteem-building exercises and get straight to the results. Cliff…" The psychiatrist moved his chair closer. "Will you allow me to hypnotize you? I can do it right here and now, it'll take no time at all. And, I can promise, you will walk out of this room a new man. A confident, secure man. What do you say?"

Cliff shrank back on the sofa, his eyes darting uncomfortably toward the door.

"Uh… I don't know, Doc. I mean, hypnotism?" He made a face. "Now, I'm aware there are several schools of thought that—"

"It'll get you a date," Frasier broke in quickly, before Cliff could wade too deep into his pseudoscientific trivia. "A real date, with a real woman. And, if things don't work out, I can remove the hypnotic suggestion and you'll snap right back to normal. Or, as close to normal as you can get."

Cliff shrugged.

"Well, OK, Doc, I'll give it a go," he said warily. "But, I'm warning you, we Clavins are pretty strong-minded. I, uh, rather doubt you'll be able to actually…hypno…tize…"

Frasier lowered the pen he'd been swinging in front of Cliff's eyes like a pendulum, and sat back in surprise.

"That worked faster than I thought!" he commented to himself. "All right now, Cliff. Can you hear me?"

"Yes, Master," Cliff droned. "I hear and obey."

Frasier had to swallow a smug smirk.

"Good, Cliff. That's very good. Now, I want you to listen closely to my voice…"

To Be Continued…

References include Cheers: The Bar Stoolie.