*Chapter 2: It's Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies*

I made Jade swear not to tell. I started to cry out of desperation; she promised. She told me she wouldn't tell a soul, that it was our secret.

So what are these stares? I've gotten here seconds ago, and more people have pointed at me than I've talked to the entire year. There are whispers, and above all, the piercing stares. They look at me like I'm an animal, like I'm wearing all the blemishes of the world on my shoulders. I know what happened, but I don't want to admit it. I walk to my Make it Shine locker confidently, head high.

I open my locker just as I feel a hand on my shoulder. It makes ice run through my spine. I turn to see who it is with an offensive stance, hostile, my jaw puffed out. It's Beck.

He doesn't say a thing, just raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth. Then he turns and leaves me alone to stand by my locker, bury my face in my hands, and cry.

Lunch is really quiet. I poke my salad with my fork and stir the toppings around. I can't eat. Cat's on the other side of the table; we haven't spoken all day. She continues to look away from me when I try to make eye contact with her.

Andre clears his throat, and everyone turns to look at him. "Tori, is there something you want to... tell us? Cat, you?" his eyes skim from person to person, and when no one says anything, he looks down at the table, ashamed. "Tha- I mean, if you wa- you don-"

I explode. "WHY is everyone staring at me? Why can't they leave me alone?"

"Check The Slap," Beck says gently. I yank out my PearPhone and press The Slap. On the homepage is a post by Jade which has been liked and disliked uncountable times, with 402 comments.

Witnessed Tori kiss Cat last night, it reads.

I want to strangle Jade. I want to kill her; I want to wrap my hands around her throat and cut off the air. I want to stab that smile off her face. But I don't. I just look down, ashamed, as tears well up in my eyes. "Cat kissed ME," she mutters. "She leaned in first."

"No, you kissed me first," Cat chirps, and she doesn't seem at all offended by the situation. "Then I gave you an even bigger kiss on the lips, because I love you."

Jade seems so pleased. She's rocking back and forth with a stupid, smug grin on her face. "So, kitty-Cat," she laughs, "do you love girls?"

"I love everyone!" Cat responds, suddenly and strongly.

"But do you love girls romantically?" Cat thinks for a second on this one, and she looks around, her eyes flickering from me to Andre to Robbie to Beck, then to Jade.

"I love Tori," she says brightly, and she gets up from where she's sitting to scoot in next to me. She rests her head on my shoulder. I shudder and wipe tears out of my eyes. "I'd like to date Tori, if she says yes. Will you say yes, Tori?"

I can't even think. I can only think about Jade, and how much this situation has twisted out of proportion. I glare at her, but I realize all eyes are on me, begging me to answer Cat's question. Do I even like Cat that way? It can't hurt to try, can it?

"Okay," I respond timidly, but I don't dare look up from the table. Andre lifts my chin up slightly, and his eyes are kind and bright. I continue to cry, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Look at me," he says. "You two will make a beautiful couple."

"Yeah," Robbie chimes in, and even Rex gives a slight nod. Beck smiles at me and starts to nod too. He takes my hand gently, as if to reassure me, and gives it a little squeeze. Cat kisses my cheek, and Robbie gives a feeble little clap as if to congratulate us on something. I don't know what I've gotten into, exactly, but I take Cat's hand with my empty one.

I know she'll help me know what's going on. I know she'll guide me through this. We could work. We could be a thing.

"Should we, Tori?" it's been a week and a half since I started dating Cat, and it's made me feel amazing. But there's something missing, there's an empty puzzle piece that I need to fill. It's something I've only done once, long ago, with a boy named Danny...

"I love you so much," I tell her, and Cat nods.

My parents don't even know yet, but they're gone. I've made sure they're away, and away to stay. I want to share a special moment with Cat that I'll remember for the rest of my life, a moment that I'll never forget...

Cat slips my shirt over my head softly, and I do the same to her. Her beautiful red-pink hair falls over her shoulders. I sweep her up into a hug, and she undoes my bra strap as I fumble with hers.

I don't know what I'm doing. Why am I doing this with a girl; why does it have to be Cat? Am I gay?

I've thought about that for a long time, rolling in my bed at night, sheets twisted beneath me. Cat makes me feel amazing with her kisses and the way she takes my hand to reassure me; her lips are so soft, warm and tasty. But it doesn't mean that I love all girls that way, does it? I'm still unsure, but my fingers are confident as they glide over Cat's breasts softly, provoking a soft moan.

She pulls my bra off me finally, and turns to the shower. She fumbles with the knobs, and the water begins to drip out of the shower head. The steam slowly begins to chug out of the top, moistening the room.

Cat takes of the remainder of her clothes, and I follow. She's so pretty; so beautiful. I'm so lucky to have her here; I'm so luck to have her be mine.

She slips into the shower. I take a deep breath. I've been told so many times by so many people to make sure that you're ready. "Make sure it's the person you want to be with forever," my Mom says.

I don't want to be with Cat forever. We both know that. But I want to be with Cat for now, I want to love her to the extent that love goes. I want to be a good girlfriend.

Jade comes up to me in the hallway with an angry face. I have to bite back a smile at seeing her so worked up; she almost never gets like this. She pulls me into the janitor's closet. "Be NICE to Cat," she hisses, and spit flies into my face. I wipe my cheeks off.

"Okay," I laugh. "I might ask the same of you?"

"Cat told me you two were having sex," Jade spits, and she drops her voice. "Listen. Cat gets confused my BREAKFAST, for God's sake. Do NOT hurt that child."

"Why is it suddenly your business what Cat and I are doing?" I shoot back defensively. "Why did she even tell you? Listen, Jade, Cat is MY girlfriend. Stop trying to make this your problem." I shove her away.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, Vega. But listen," she warns. "You may not be able to knock her up, but every time you do that with her, it means something BIG." She walks out defiantly and slams the door in my face.