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"ILLUMI !" killua freaked out "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?"
"well...I'M A WIZARD HAHAHAHA" he replied
"itch, please, you are a mere idiot who wears an Indian wig" killua replied
"an Indian wig? " Illumi wondered
"well, you have some silky shiny black hair like Indian women" Bisuke said
"ohhh...now isn't that something to turn a man on? " Hisoka started singing sentences for some reason.
"umm...no"Leorio replied
"you'd better not answer Hisoka's question that way...I bet you've never been turned on before...I even doubt that you are a man...you are more of...an alien" Illumi answered
"I've been turned on many times" Leorio frowned "and why are you so bothered? I answered Hisoka's question, not yours! "
"don't mess with MY Illumi" Hisoka answered "and dare to name one time when you were turned on"
"your Illumi ?" Killua asked "I think I'mthe one who will tell his mother"
"I think we should tell Kurapica's mother...if only we could" bisuke stated
everyone was arguing except for kurapica...he was near a rose tree observing his natural beauty on a mirror that was in his hand, and then taking pictures of himself with his mobile's camera.
"girls truly are stupid...don't they say that blonds' are stupid too? that makes someone extra stupid" Illumi said
Illumi suddenly got an extra strong hit on the head.
"that will teach you a lesson" Bisuke said "don't you ever make fun of blonde girls"
Illumi was confused
"I'm a blond girl YOU KNOW!" bisuke clarified
"oh~ I almost forgot" Illumi said
Leorio walked towards Kurapica, stood next to him, and then cleared his throat.
"WHAT? WHO? WHERE? I SWEAR I WASN'T DOING THAT!" Kurapica said surprised.
Leorio chuckled
"where did you find that mirror?" Leorio asked
"WHAT MIRROR? THERE'S NOTHING IN MY HAND BEHIND MY BACK!" kurapica said
"is that my mirror in your hand? HOW THE HELL DID YOU TAKE MY MIRROR OF MY HAND BACK WITHOUT INFORMING ME?" Illumi yelled at kurapica
"why the hell do you have a mirror and a hand bag? " Killua asked "looks like I will start black-mailing someone!"
"well...the someone will black-mail you back! " Illumi answered
"you have nothing to blackmail me with" Killua replied confidently
"beside your Gon, I know about your secret" Illumi threatened
Killua gasped and turned paler than ever.
"Killua...are you alright? do you need a jacket?" Gon offered
"and I'm going to tell everyone here about your secret"
"killua has a secret that he never told me?" Gon gasped
"YES" Illumi said "he owns a collection of sailor moon characters' figures made of chocolate"
"now THAT"S my secret ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA " Killua exploded laughing "I thought you meant the photo I took for Gon in his boxer while he was asleep that I keep beside my bed...*phew* what a relief"
"..." Kurapica said
"..." Leorio said
"... #^%% %#$& ... %$^$% !" Illumi said
"what ?" Gon asked
"real men turn each others on don't they" Hisoka said laughing
"-_- you laugh like a hyena " Kurapica said
"and you laugh like the main dancer of coco's strip club" Hisoka said emotionlessly
"who's that main dancer there ?" Leorio asked
"who's coco? " Illumi asked
"what's a strip club ?" Gon asked
"is she beautiful like me?" Kurapica asked
"now he's playing his role too right...which is wrong..." Killua said "are you sure you are Kurapica?"
"who can I be? Illumi who changed his shape to look like kurapica with his weirdo needles ?" Kurapica asked
"maybe" Bisuke said
kurapica started changing back into Illumi's shape
"woaaaaah, Killua, you were so true" Gon said
"how did you know?" Illumi asked
"but if this was Illumi, then who's the other Illumi?" Hisoka wondered
"he's my brother, lost since 1962" Illumi said
"but were we even born by 1962?" the other Illumi wondered
"I wasn't " one of the Illumies said
"but I was" the other one said
"how old are you mou hitori no Illumi ?" Killua asked
"do you know mou hitori no yuggi as well ?" Gon asked
"well...older than your Maha Zolydeck! " Illumi said
"wow!"
"analyzing your Illumi-like features, the tone of your voice, the unoriginal cotton threads in your clothes, and YOUR SMELL WHICH IS FRICKING WEIRD LIKE OLD PEOPLE" Leorio paused "I'd say you're Netero San"
"WHAT ?" Hisoka was shocked (wtf can you believe he was shocked ?)
"I thought he was my twin *sniff sniff* " Illumi cried
"no way!" Killua said
"naniiiiii ?" Gon said
"Ho ho ho" the other Illumi laughed as his shape started changing back into Netero-san
"no wonder you're older than Maha Zoldyeck" the original Illumi said
"why did you come here? " Killua asked
"rumors said you own own a photo of Gon almost naked" Netero explained "I just wanted to find out the truth"
Gon blushed that the troublemaker colourful butterfly thought he was a red rose and landed on his face
he hurried to catch it but unfortunately it flew away swiftly
"why are you guys so nosy ?" Killua asked "I bet everyone of you owns a similar thing"
"*cough*Hisoka*cough*" Illumi coughed
" *cough*Kurapica and 3-4 other girls' photos*cough" Leorio coughed
"wow that was the longest cough I've ever heard" Killua said
" *cough*more than few hundreds of pictures and some magazines*cough " Bisuke said
"she breaks the world record" Hisoka ensured
" *cough*KILLUA I'M GOING TO TELL YOUR MOMMY*cough* " Illumi coughed
"can you please stop coughing ? it turns Hisoka on" Leorio said
"Impressive " Hisoka said "now we're talking...someone finally gets my sens of getting turned on!"
"go tell our mother Illumi, and I'll tell her about your Hisoka's hot photos collection...the folder is in your documents" Killua said
"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT IT YOU ASH-WHOLE ?" Illumi freaked out
"do you really have such a thing XD XD ? I didn't know about it I was just kidding, it would be easy for Milluki to hack it though" Killua said
"what does 'ash-whole' mean ?" Gon wondered
"you better not know what he wanted to stay...I want you to stay unripe as you are for now" Hisoka said
"by the way, how could you be so smart to find out that mou hitori no Illumi was Netero ?" Gon wondered
"it should have been Kurapica the one to discover, right?" Killua stated
"are you kurapica cosplaying Leorio or something ?" Hisoka asked
"I want to cosplay detective conan " Illumi said
"why would you do, my baby you ?" HIsoka asked
"I'm here for your entertainment " Illumi sang
"okay stop it. this is getting ridiculous " Bisuke said
"speaking of kurapica...where is he?" Netero finally noticed
"what should K.I.D.N.A.P.P.E.D mean?" Netero asked
" Kind In Distance Not As People Predict Elegantly Directly ?" Illumi expected
"huh?" Gon's mind fried
"wtf?" Bisuke's head hurt
"ftw ?" Leorio got dizzy
"are you drunk?" Hisoka asked
killua sighed and took a piece of paper that was in Netero's hand and read loudly :
"I KIDNAPPED KURAPICA ...follow the map below to save him...with love : Kuroro"
"kurapica is kidnapped?" Leorio was shocked
"with love ?" Hisoka wondered
"Kuroro ?" Bisuke wondered
"but why would he go through all of this and then leave a map ?"
"so it was either Illumi or Netero who wore the dress and not kurapica after all?" Leorio asked disappointed
"it was a cute dress wasn't it?" Illumi and Netero said together
"so aren't we going to save him?" Gon asked
"yes let's team up" Bisuke suggested
"ooh...teaming up-"Hisoka was cut off by Leorio
"turns hisoka on" Leorio continued
"we should totally ship us together some time" Hisoka said
"no way you're a creep" Leorio answered
"I will be the supper better-than-a-dog hero of our team! what will your name be Killua?"
"do I ha-"
"Yes you have to" Gon interrupted "in fact you'll be choco-white yummy"
"choco-white yummy ?" Killua repeated
"yes, and LIKE IT or else" Gon said
"whatever~" Killua said
"I will be the handsome-hawty" Leorio said
"no that's hisoka -_-" Gon said
hisoka chuckled
"you will be the fool of the wool" Gon said
"why would I be that? " Leorio asked
"because the princess will fall in love with the fool" Gon explained
"deal" Leorio was so stupid and believed
"and you'll be the blind crospe " Gon suggested to Illumi "because if one doesn't know you and see your eyes they'll think you are blind who is also dead
"but that's too lame! " Illumi complained
"I will be the young beauty" Netero said
everyone passed out at the same moment they heard that
TBC
so would you like some more? (next time I will be done of "something" and be totally free to make this fic MUCH funnier XD ;) ) I can say it will mostly get better
if you would like more chapters, please write what you think, your suggestions, your opinions, what you like, and what you don't in a review in that box down there...everything you say is more than appreciated.
your reviews put me in the write-more-humor mood ;)
and hey guys you like humor right? go check "say yes to the tuxedo" it's a hilarious hunterxhunter fic XD XD and don't forget to review its author
thanks for reading :D