It was a mild night, and the courtyard was empty as was expected. Levi leaned his head against Erwin's shoulder as they walked.

Erwin opened the door, peeking his head in to make sure no one was around. He motioned with his hand for Levi to come in, and he did so, rolling his eyes.

"Sit, please, you look like you could fall over. I'll see what I can get you to eat. Is there something you had in mind?" Levi sat down at one of the empty tables.

"Whatever I can keep down."

Erwin nodded and crept into the kitchen. His somewhat comical attempt to silence his footsteps put Levi in mind of all their sneaking around. The night before an expedition, knowing that it could be their very last. Steeling their hearts or whatever was left over of them.

He stood up, the air too thick to breathe and the empty hall suddenly far too cramped.

"Levi..?" Erwin called from the kitchen, "Levi!"

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe and all he could feel and see was the gnashing teeth of giants and the spray of blood. Fields of his comrades and friends, even Erwin lay dead.

Bile rose in his throat and he gagged, vomit dribbling from the corner of his mouth. Fuck. Fucking filthy. He clamped a hand over his mouth and frantically searched for something, anything. There was an empty supply crate in the corner.

Levi crashed to his knees in front of it and leaned over. He felt a warm touch on his forehead, his hair being swept back. He opened his mouth. He'd never been so sick, not even as a trainee.

He wheezed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I can't."

"I've got you, you're going to be al-"

"I can't have this baby."

Erwin paled as he ran his fingers through Levi's hair. He didn't say anything, he didn't feel like he could.

"After all the shit we've seen and done, how the hell- Erwin, how the hell can I be anything but a shitty father?"

"You've been a father to your soldiers as I have tried to be, and you are capable of love, Levi."

His breathing had evened out somewhat, still unsteady but not nearly as frantic. "Whatever you want to do, I am with you."

And he was, truly. Erwin stood with Levi.

"I know, I know I'm capable, I love them already. I can't do it, I can't go either route."

"You have time, just remember that you have time and that you are not alone in this."

"You want a baby, right?"

"I want you, happy and whole."

"That's not what I asked."

"Of course I do, Levi. But the choice isn't mine, and if the time isn't right, now or ever, it still isn't my place."

Levi breathed in deeply, settling back against Erwin's chest.

"What are we going to do?"

"Whatever we can, darling."

"What if they come back?"

"They won't, Levi. Please trust me. Don't let something like that sway you."

"I do trust you, and I want-," he sighed, frustrated and still feeling ill, "Just hold me," It was embarrassing and pathetic. Levi hid his face in his hands, it was an unusual request but Erwin acquiesced, hugging Levi tightly to his own body, "I want this baby, but, fuck. I don't want to ruin the kid's life."

He laid his palm over Levi's chest, right where he could feel his racing heart, and kissed the back of his neck softly. Touch always comforted Levi, or at the very least, Erwin's touch comforted him.

"I want to try, Erwin. I'm probably a selfish bastard for it, but I want to."

"You're not selfish, Levi. I've known selfish people."

They were silent for a long while, huddled together on the floor. The mild air and unobstructed moonlight made for a peaceful night, at least outwardly. Levi's stomach had settled somewhat, but he knew from listening in on people in the capitol that his sickness would last at least a few months more. He'd eavesdropped half heartedly on stories of how to manage it. If only he'd actually listened.

"We should go, they might be coming back soon."

"I'll bring some broth and bread back to our room for you, if you're still hungry." Levi nodded before standing slowly, Erwin making no effort to hold him down. He gagged as he picked up the crate he'd been sick in and carried it to the back of the hall, opening the door and tossing it out with the rest of the trash. He strode back to Erwin, holding his hand out to help him up. Despite the fact that he didn't need assistance, Erwin took Levi's hand as he stood, giving it a comforting squeeze before returning to the kitchen.

"I can make it back on my own, I just want to lay down again."

"Alright, Levi."

"If anyone asks me, I'll just glare. Okay?" Erwin gave a little laugh.

"Okay."

Levi made his way slowly back to their shared quarters, carefully avoiding the groups of chattering cadets and shivering slightly, still chilled from his bout of sickness.

When Erwin found him, a full tray in his hands, Levi was already asleep again. Erwin chuckled a bit at the sight. The younger man curled up, having wrapped himself in the blankets Erwin had brought for him earlier.

It was important that Levi was comfortable. He was certainly not delicate, but any expectant parent could afford to be doted on.

He set the tray down on the bedside table, careful not to wake Levi with the noise. It was a wasted effort, as he had already begun to stir, blinking his eyes at Erwin. For all the world, he looked like a cat.

"Dammit, was I asleep again?" Levi mumbled, rubbing his face. Erwin nodded with a warm little smile.

"Well you certainly need your rest," he began arranging the bread and plain broth on the wooden tray, "And to eat enough for you both."

Levi sat up, leaning against the headboard. Erwin handed him the bowl, which he set in his lap and carefully dipped into with his spoon. He hesitantly brought a spoonful to his mouth and swallowed.

"Thanks, now if I can keep it down…" he paused for another mouthful, " How long was I asleep?"

"Not long, I ran into Hanji on my way back. She's going to do a check-up tomorrow, if that's still the way you want to go."

"Yeah," Levi nodded, swallowing, " I'd like to know."

He absolutely did not feel like being poked and prodded, not at all. Especially after puking his guts out only an hour ago. Several times. He was tired and nauseous and pissed the hell off.

"Okay, you've lost some weight Levi. Nothing to worry about, that's totally normal and you'll gain it back," Hanji scribbled a little note on her clipboard and Erwin smiled from the chair next to him, squeezing his hand. "Alright, I need you to roll up your shirt." She chirped, business-like but cheerful. Levi complied, grabbing the edges of his shirt, a more casual one than his usual, and pulled it up to his ribs. Hanji had removed a familiar instrument from her leather doctor's bag. She set it aside at first, instead opting to feel Levi's exposed lower belly.

"You're definitely loosening up muscle-wise, you're just making room for the baby and it'll hurt a little, but it shouldn't be so bad," She took the stethoscope into her hand, hooking the two prongs into her ears and moving it slowly across the flat plain of Levi's stomach, nodding and then moving it back to one spot.

"Ah, congratulations Papa!" She grinned her cheshire grin. Levi felt warm at that, he hadn't been congratulated on much of anything before, and now... "We can now be one-hundred-percent sure that you've got a baby in there," she removed the stethoscope from her ears and offered it, "Would you like to hear your baby's heartbeat?"

Levi and Erwin both nodded, an almost child-like curiosity creeping in. Normally, Levi would want nothing to do with anything that had been so close to someone's inner ear, but he took one prong and leaned his head against Erwin's, offering him the other.

thump, thump, thump

There was his heartbeat, yes. But there was another, a little echo of his own.

"Holy shit."