Now, were you to ask me even twenty minutes ago, there is no way I would have seen her this way. But now it is the only way I can imagine her.
She is lost again in her mind again. I'm sure my little out burst hasn't helped her sanity. In this moment I don't care.
I like that she is just physically here. I know its fucked up. But I love looking at her. I can't cope with all her dramatic bullshit right now. The way her face is set, how she mindlessly fiddles with her hair, the shifting of her weight from foot to foot as she is lost in her mind.. she is completely visually captivating. I love that she has no idea that I am evaluating her. There is a thrill in observation the unknowing.
Right now is not about her. I need this. I need her.
I refill my drink with out her even noticing that I had moved from my observing stance across from her. She wants to fight, I can tell my how she is breathing and biting at her cuticles. Taking another deep pull on my liquid fire I feel the warmth and calm creep over my skin; over my brain. I slowly move toward her.
As I cross the floor I finish the glass and set it on the shelf nearest her shoulder. She had no idea how I had gotten so close with out her noticing and jumped at the noise. For a moment there is anger filling her eyes. In that moment I realize what I want more than any of the rest my current fantasies. I want her anger aimed at me. I need it.
She exhales slowly and shakes her head apologetically. She moves in to hug me. I welcome that contact. With my arms tight around her I lay my cheek on the top of her head. The alcohol is making me calm. I take a deep breath and feel the burn all over again. Tilting her head up toward me I can tell she wants to help. Her sugar coated words drip with pity, condolence, and a suffocating amount of sympathy.
"What can I do? Ezra, please let me help..."
Maybe my drinking has effected me more than I thought. The urge to scream at her was almost too strong to contain. Closing my eyes, I took another deep breath. I know she could feel me tense. She sighed and went to back away; releasing her grip on my waist. I grabbed her wrists.
When I opened my eyes she looked confused. Head tilted and expression inquisitive, she lifted her hands as if to ask what?.
"I need you to do something for me. Well... actually... to me..."
I waited for her response. She still looked confused. I studied her face as she followed the hints that lead to the conclusion. Raising an eyebrow as a small smirk claimed her lips she quickly twisted her hands out of my grip and grasped my wrists. Looking up at my face she searched for confirmation. All I could do was nod. The heat had moved from my stomach and mind. It was traveling all over my skin, focusing on my groin.
"I need you to... " she cut me off as she shoved me into the back of the couch.
In a low voice she growled at me, "I know what you need, Ezra..."
I was stunned. I thought it would take much more to get her to this point. We had never been like this with each other. Releasing my left hand she pulled my chin down to kiss her. Her force was startling. The fire now ignited my whole form. I needed all of her. I moved my hand to her back and moved it up to pull her closer.
She stopped mid-kiss and pulled away. The anger was back in her eyes; this time directed at me. It was far more arousing than I would have ever imagined. Releasing my other hand she walked over to the little kitchenette and pulled the chair over to the coffee table.
"Sit here." She said pointing at the newly positioned furniture. I did as she demanded.
She moved behind me and I could hear her undressing. I started to turn my head, only to have two cold hands force my face forward.
"Do not move!"
The alcohol was taking over my mind. I was completely present in this moment. I could not go anywhere had I wanted to.
My head is tilted to the right as a trail of light kisses followed from just behind my ear to the edge of the collar of my shirt.
"Take it off." I did as she commanded.
The room was a bit cold now that I had lost my shirt. But the alcohol made me not care. She tilted my head again and kissed from my shoulder up to my jawline. As she tilted my head the the left her hands roamed my chest. Kissing slower this time she began raking her nails over my skin. A muted moan escaped me and I could feel her smile against my skin. She stepped away, I could hear her heels clacking against the wood floor. I kept my eyes closed; enjoying the lingering tingle her nails left on me.
As she walked back I could tell something was different. There was more of a saunter to her gait. I felt the heat coming off of her as she stood behind me. Quickly she tied someone over my eyes.I didn't try and fight it. Next, I felt cold metal trail down my arm. With two clicks it was clear.. I was completely at her mercy.
I felt her tying something else around my hands. She was looping rope through the cuffs to the rungs on the back of the chair. She was serious..
I don't even care what she does to me now. I deserve every possible demented action she can come up with.
She came around the front of the chair. Touching my face. hesitating on my lips with her nails, she straddled my lap. I could feel her eyes moving over my features. Her nails trailed down from my shoulders to my elbows and back up. She was studying me. She pushed her nails harder into my flesh. Another moan escaped me as my chin lifted.
She moved off of my lap. There was no noise for a moment then I heard the coffee table creak. With deft nimble hands she quickly had my belt and pants undone. She removed the remaining barriers without touching me. All intentional I'm sure.
Then there was nothing. Complete silence. No creaking of the floor boards, no heels clacking, no weight shifting, no heavy breathing.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was some hidden fear, but panic stated to take over.
"Aria?.. Where did you go?". Nothing. I darted my eyes around behind the blindfold. It was no use. I pulled at the restraints. The chair flexed as I pulled as hard as I could. The metal bit my wrists and the rope scraped against my skin as I tried to pull free. She had me.
I felt sweat break out across my body. I can't do this. I need to get out. With my heart pounding in my ears and my chest heaving from my labored breaths I open my mouth to yell for her. To plead for her to let me go.
I felt cold hands slide up my thighs. It made me jump. She giggled. I felt her shift her weight so she was kneeling between me and the coffee table. Moving her hands up and down my thighs, alternating using her nails to elicit a reaction from me, she spoke in a soft voice.
"I am going to use you. You are not to speak unless I ask you a direct question. I will do as I wish with your body, Ezra. Tonight you are mine.."