A door opens on top of the ceiling, and few papers fall on Takasugi's head. "Oh, more."
From Guest
OoohQ&A huh.
Zhao Yun, is it true that you're having a little bit of "something" with Ma Chao?
Li Dian, like the first but with Yue jin.
all DW female characters,make some kind of vote about the HOTTEST male character in DW.(the Choices are Zhao Yun,Xu Shu,the Guan bros,Zhang Bao,Sima Siblings,Yue Jin,Li Dian,Xiahou Dun,Guo Jia,Lu Xun,Zhu Ran,Ling Tong and Lu Bu)
last but not least,XU SHU WILL YOU MARRY MEinsert some fangirl scream(while pointing AK47 at the Author direction)
Holy s*** cookies! Why is this person aiming that at me and not you?!
"You're writing this. So, Zhao Yun does have a thing with Ma Chao and Li Dian having a thing with Yue Jin? And really? S*** cookies? I can come up with a better swear than that."
Shut up. Zhao Yun and Ma Chao look at each other funny. "Eh..."
"Eh..."
"He'd rather be with a horse than an actual human being, though..."
"Hey! I don't spend time with horses that much!"
"You spent five hours one time looking for a horse named Chestnut. I tried telling you don't have a horse named Chestnut, but you ignored me."
"I was drunk. And I watched that movie with the little girl and her horse. It was so beautiful..." He sobs.
"Ok...Li Dian and Yue Jin?"
"Eh...No comment."
"Eh..."
"Why are you "ehhh"ing? Is it maybe or no or maybe yesno?"
"Eh..."
"Ok, nevermind. Does Zhang Chunhua count for that next one? I think it will be pretty awkward for her saying Sima Shi or Sima Zhao are attractive...And some women here are...older than the most of the pretty guys..."
I personally think Sima Yi and Zhou Yu are hot in my book despite they're dead men and pixelated.
"No one's asking you!"
I think you said once you'd go homosexual for one of them.
"Shut up! Now, ladies, take your vote. Oh, guys go into the soundproo-there are so many...Ok, the women go-too many...Just yell it out!" The room remains silent. "What? Not sexy enough?"
"It's...eh...that they are too young for me...I can't say without sounding creepy..."
"Ok...Zhang Chunhua, Yue Ying, Zhen Ji, Zhu Rong, Diao Chan and Lian Shi can opt out since they're technically old women already-OOFF!" The six mentioned took chairs and whacked Takasugi with them. "And you ladies look fine as hell despite that!" Bao Sanniang jumps up and down. "I think Guan Suo will always be hot!"
"Now that is obviously biased since you're married to him. Anyone else?" Xiao Qiao raises her hand. "Zhou Yu!"
"He was not an option..."
"Ok, then Lu Xun and Zhu Ran! They're such cuties!"
"At least you're being honest. Da Qiao?"
"Oh...um...well...I..."
"Spit it out already...We don't have a lot of space for your umm's."
"All of the Guans seem decent."
(This is gonna spawn weird-ass ships...)"Mm-hm, Sun Shang Xiang?"
"I don't need no man to tell what to do!"
"The questionee asked if you find any of the guys mentioned are attractive to you."
"Zhao Yun. Even though he's just a cardboard cutout for the game and cliche since I'm poster girl."
"Hey! I can do other things besides that..."
"Name one thing that does not involve Koei."
"Um...I advertised 7-Up."
"Now, that's selling out. You can't think of one, huh?"
"...Yes..."
"That's what I thought. Wang Yuanji?"
"Despite his weird thing with Lady Zhang, I think Sima Shi is attractive."
"What about Zhao? He's kinda like if you married a male Zhang Chunhua."
"Why did you put that image into my head?! Ugh...not that's a bad thing, m'lady..."
"Just sayin'...Zhao has really striking features from her..."
"Ok, Zhao too."
"I don't have a weird thing with my mother!"
"Yep...you do...But I'm not getting into this again, so let's go on to Shu's young ladies." He gets glares for the "older" women. "Ok...ladies, happy? Guan Yinping, who is the hottest guy in your opinion? Choose from that list."
"Li Dian is pretty cute. And Zhang Bao reminds me of that orange-haired guy I like."
"Oh, yeah. You share actors with Orihime, so Zhang Bao reminds you of Ichigo, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's gonna get some Bleach and Dynasty Warriors fans to ship you and Zhang Bao if it hasn't happened yet. Xing Cai?"
"Hm...Zhao Yun, Guan Ping, and Guan Xing."
"You know...you don't have to choose from in your own kingdom..."
"But they are what I personally think are attractive."
"Wow, so straightforward. And...Guaaan Piing, she thinks you're attraaaactive!"
"Why are you...eh...saying like that...?"
"Oh, come on. We even implied it on some occasions during the DW series. It was bound to happen. That should be next year's hot new soap opera. Guy can't love the woman because she's married to a higher man than him...Oh wait...that's been done...Anyway, Wei ladies?"
"Guo Jia, since he pays for all my drinks."
"Well...that's...nevermind...Cai Wenji?"
"...Well...I...um..."
"What?"
"Sima Shi and Yue Jin."
"Isn't Sima Shi your nephew-in-law...? Nevermind...Now that's been answered, Xu Shu, will you take this very-psychopathic person to be your lawfully-wedded wife? "
"But...I didn't say-"
"What? Can't hear ya! Boom, you're married. Bye! But why do you want him as a husband? It's like the same thing as marrying a cardboard cutout, except it breathes on you. Eh, none of my business."
"But I-"
"Now, next one."
From Inao45
I hope you don't mind me asking another question...
For Lian shi: Would you do anything if Sun Quan asked you to do it
"Um...What do you mean by that?"
"What this questionee means is that if Sun Quan asked you to jump off a cliff with him, would you do it?"
"That...eh...there are limits..." Sun Quan tells her,"I wouldn't ask you to jump off a cliff with me! I would not let you suffer my fate if I were to do that!"
"And there's...the other thing...if you know what I mean..." His face turns red and is smirking pervertedly. "Ugh...you disgust me..."
"Hey, the question said "anything." That means if she had to get on her knees and-AH! OW!" He gets multiple arrows to his behind. "...Next..."
From Burndlce
Well Lets see here...
all the female Characters, are you satisfied with your current husband/crush?
any of you wanna trade?
like the number 1 but for male characters.
I kiss you Li Dian ?(*o kiss his cheek without permission)
Li Dian acts giggly, "Aw, thanks!"
"Ok...Zhang Chunhua?"
"Why are you looking at me like that...?"
"Because you didn't choose Yi as your husband. Your parents did. And in these kinds of marriages, the woman or man may not like their spouse after marriage. I don't know, maybe if you had a choice...you would go for one of Yi's younger brothers...Maybe Sima Fu?"
"He's still older than me..."
"Ok, Sima Xun?"
"Who?"
"Sima Min?"
"He died, and he was still a child."
"Oh, yeah. Sima Tong?"
"Who?"
"Sima Lang."
"He's dead and too old for me."
"Ok...who would you marry?"
"I have gotten used to Sima Yi all these years."
"So...you like him...?"
"...When you put it that way..."
"Ha! You do! You're blushing!"
"Why are you making a case out of this?"
"It's just funny someone in this small world of ours LIKES or even...LOVES Sima Yi. Other than his family members and his sons. It's just...eh...I can't say...He's...like if you tried to be friends with a ...uh...a turtle."
"...A turtle...?"
"Yes, a turtle. I had one. You can't be friends with the thing! It just ignores you until you change the tank or feed it."
"That's...not really accurate..."
"Anyway, you wouldn't trade him or marry someone else?"
"Yes. I'm surprised you are interested in what my preferences in men are."
"Well I supposed you liked him...since you two had four and possibly five children...Wait...I remember something, when you died, Sima Yi was not at his work that day...Yi, did you-"
"Ok, go on to someone else now..."
"Just stating the history...(He does have a soft spot, who knew?) What about Wang Yuanji? Are you happy? Your marriage was arranged as well."
"Zhao is lazy, yes. But he has potential and his parents knew that...kinda...I wouldn't ask for another spouse." (Since Shi creeps me out now...)
"Ok, Zhen Ji."
"No, Cao Pi is perfect for me."
"Yue Ying?"
"I love my husband. I would not trade him for anyone else."
"Zhu Rong?"
"I'm good."
"Lian Shi?"
"I am satisfied. I wouldn't give him up for anyone else."
"Bao Sanniang...?"
"I'm staying with Guan Suo, no matter what!"
"Yep, knew it...Xing Cai?"
"Who can I trade?"
"What..?"
"You heard me."
"I guess anyone you desire...but it's not for real..."
"Then I'm good."
"Ok...Sun Shang Xiang?"
"I'll trade Liu Bei for...hmm...Zhang Bao or a Guan."
"Really?"
"At least they're MY age."
"I wouldn't blame you. The Qiaos?"
"I'm happy with Sun Ce."
"Me too with Zhou Yu!"
"That should be all of them."
"What about Lu Bu and Diao Chan?"
"We already know they love each other to bits. I don't need a reminder. Last one."
From awesomeness
1) I dare Lu Xun to go 1 hour without using fire or creating fire.
2) for Lu Bu again: DO you want your daughter to follow your footsteps on being the ultimate warrior?
and lastly for Ma Chao (3): why do you like horses a lot and always ride them, and why do you talk about justice a lot?
"You heard them, Lu Xun. No fire."
"No...fire...?"
"Yes. No fire. Wú huǒzāi, 无火灾, no fuaiya. Why are you talking like that when you don't have fire?"
"But...fire..."
"Lu Xun...I hear you say many fluent sentences a lot in the game. Why aren't you saying some now?"
"But..."
"It's only for an hour, chill."
"Oh, ok." Lu Xun returns to talking in a normal voice. "That seems not too bad."
"Oh...I thought you would be more upset about that."
"It's only for an hour, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then I'm fine."
"Are you?" Lu Xun was rubbing two sticks quickly behind his back. Takasugi gets them and throws them. "What is so interesting about fire?"
"It represents Wu and their fiery spirit."
"Anything else...?"
"It's pretty."
"And in this world, that is frowned upon..." (Hmm...A kind of flamethrower was invented in Ancient China...I bet five hundred bucks one of Lu Xun's descendants made that...It was invented after the Three Kingdoms fell, though, so he can't get his grubby hands onto one.) "Lu Bu? Do you want your daughter to follow in your footsteps?"
"She can do as she likes. I will not force her to be like me. If she wants to follow in my footsteps, that is fine."
"Aw, that's nice...And to answer that last question, did you know Ma Chao is buddy-buddy with Light Yagami (Death Note) and Kaname Tosen (Bleach) because of their justice obsession? He even joined the Justice club and the Justice League-Haha! Ok, that one was fake...Why does Ma Chao like horses?"
"Because they are my pride and joy. Horses are the ONLY things we can ride anyway! We don't have his world's fancy-smancy thing with wheels!"
"Your family name means horse, also. And those "things" are CARS. Or automatic carriages if we use your terms. "
"That has nothing to do with it! The Simas over there have nothing to do with horses and their name has horse in it!"
"Well...I read that Sima Yi was described that he looked like a-OW!" Sima Yi threw a chair at him. "DO. NOT. REMIND. ME."
"Ok...jeez...Well, Ma Chao, can you put this on?" He holds up one those horse masks. Ma Chao looks at it shocked. "You chopped off a poor horse's head?!"
"No...this is fake...It's a mask."
"I shall not wear that!"
"Ok, Ma Dai?"
"It looks hideous..."
"Sima Yi...?"
"NO!"
"Oh, wait, your face already looks like one...OOW!" Sima Yi throws a pulley left on the stage. "Ok...Ma Chao, why do you talk about justice again?"
"Because there isn't enough of it."
"That doesn't answer the question...And was it justice when you killed Wang Yi's family?"
"Um...gotta go feed the horses!" Ma Chao runs into the portal.
"I thought so...So, that's it. Tune in next time!"
Notes
In case you didn't know, Ma Chao and Ma Dai's names have horse in them. "Ma" means horse in Chinese. Sima Yi, Sima Shi, and Sima Zhao have this as well. Even the Chinese characters in the front of their names mean horse.
Something tells me that people will ship Guan Yinping and Zhang Bao together because their voice actors did Ichigo and Orihime from Bleach. And Orihime has a crush on Ichigo...blah...blah...you get the idea.
Sima Yi had four, possibly five children with his wife. Why possibly five is that he had a daughter whose mother was unknown. It was possible it was Zhang Chunhua. Gee, can't keep track of his children, am I right? Ok...that was bad...
Takasugi said, "no fire" in Chinese and Japanese for that line.
Zhao Yun did advertise 7-Up for DW8 and Lu Bu advertised Pepsi I think when DW7 came out?.
I once read this description of Sima Yi and it stated he had a long face, like a horse. I forgot the source, but I'm sure that was someone hating on Sima Yi. Good luck getting that weird image out of your head.
The flamethrower was invented and used during the 7th century and the 11th century. Three Kingdoms was 2nd century, so Lu Xun can't get his hands onto one if wanted to.
I do have a pet turtle. What?
I'll explain how Sima Shi is Cai Wenji's nephew-in-law, if that term exists...Sima Shi's third wife, Yang Huiyu, was Cai Wenji's niece. Yang Huiyu was the daughter of Cai Wenji's sister, thus she's Cai Wenji's niece. And making Shi her nephew-in-law.
Boom, you learned stuff today.