Chapter 3: (Very) Young Man Blues
Boomer's POV
Man, is this sweet or what? I'm a frickin' baby! There's so much that I have yet to experience. Maybe I could see if I can get one of them to nurse me by the end of the day! I creaked my eyes open as my slumber expired to find the professor staring down at me with folded arms. Obviously, he knew what game I was playing. I sat there on the kitchen counter in a rag diaper.
"Boomer, just because you're newly-born, doesn't mean that I'm not aware of what you're doing. You're just a teenage pig under all that smooth, pink skin," he scolded. I smiled a toothless smile. Bubbles lay me down on the kitchen counter, and everybody huddled around me.
"What do we do with him?" Butch wondered, aloud.
"The real question isn't what should we do with him, but rather what should we do with a baby?" Blossom put on her "thinking face."
"Not necessarily, Blossom," mean old professor joined in. "Boomer might have transformed into an infant, but he still has the mind of his teenage self. It was merely an external alteration."
"Oh, shut up, and they'll never suspect a thing!" I yelled.
"Hey, what's wrong, Boomer?" Bubbles asked me. I had no idea what she meant.
"Well, I guess that since you already know I can talk, there's not any point in hiding it. Do ya' hear me, baby?"
"Are you hungry?"
"Wait, Bubbles! I know what's going on!" Professor rejoined. "Apparently, he must be trying to communicate with us, but all we receive is a mixture of laughs and cries. He thinks that he's talking, but his childlike manifestation of the mind allows him to exhibit only infantile mannerisms in his communication skills."
"You mean like in Brother Bear when Kenai tried talking to the tribes-people as a bear, but all they heard were roars and whatnot?" Butch spoke out, sipping a soda that he jacked from the fridge. Everyone turned and stared at him in confusion. "What? It's a great movie!"
"Correct, Butch. That is actually a decent example, I guess." The professor left the room. I started laughing and cackling, which came out as giggling to everyone else.
"You know, for a total dunderhead, he is pretty adorable when he laughs... but it's hilarious when he cries," Brick finally chipped in his two cents. My laughing increased, but suddenly I felt something release from my weak, underdeveloped baby bowel and slowly trickle out all around my legs, butt, and back. Whatever it was sure felt uncomfortable.
"Umm... did he just-" suddenly, Brick's eyes shrank in their sockets, as did all the others in the moments that followed. Suddenly, all their faces turned greener than Buttercup and Butch combined (but they turned even greener). Everybody pointed at each other.
"You're changing him," they claimed in unison. My crying ceased, and the smile faded back into transition.