Chapter 3: Step Two
Was it possible for me to be even more hyper than the day before? Apparently it was, because I was practically bouncing off the walls. I was starting to creep myself out. I wasn't me. I was supposed to be quiet and reading right then. Instead I was sitting at the Gryffindor table fighting back laughter from just seeing Fred. Yes, the sight of his face set me off. It was uncanny how much this prank was messing with me when step two hadn't even taken place yet. I mean, step two is what determines how far this is going to go. How long I can keep up the charade. I could see Ron and Harry glance at me with confused expressions. I just smiled and turned away. They might as well get adjusted to my abnormality that was sure to follow this prank. How was I to expect to stay sane Hermione Granger when I was doing such an irregular thing? Well, at least irregular for me. Other students played pranks on each other all the time. It was a Hogwarts pastime.
"You are acting quite strange lately, Hermione. Is it the Nargles? You seem to have a lot of them today." The blond sitting in front of me was licking her pudding off a spoon with her head cocked sideways. Her usual strawberry necklace and radish earrings sent off a perfume like no other. Maybe that is why people steered clear of her, or maybe it was just the uncomfortable feeling of being around someone that was constantly happy. I didn't mind her much, but everyone else did. That is, except for the twins. For some unknown reason they had taken a liking to her foreign essence.
"I have a secret, Luna. A very exciting secret," I whispered so that no one else could overhear.
"All of us have secrets. We become one by sharing them."
"Would you like me to share my secret with you? I don't think you would tell."
"Lovegoods never tell another's secret."
"Well then, follow me. We only have a little bit of time before class."
Luna didn't reply, but stood up. I did the same and led us out onto the school grounds. It was early, and the morning sun was glistening on the surface of the Black Lake like diamonds. The water rippled in the light breeze. We took a seat on a flat rock of the shore. I turned to her, and taking a deep breath, I started.
"I have a plan to prank Fred Weasley. It's going to last a long time if today works out. Will you help me? I'm going to need help from somebody that actually lives here."
"I will help if you explain the whole thing. It seems thrilling. You pulling a prank on the school prankster."
"I know: it is weird. Now let's start from the beginning."
"Okay," she said, her large green orbs watching me.
"Well, you know how I let Professor Burbage read that e-mail from my pen pal Anna?"
She nodded, and I continued on.
"When she was reading the e-mail, Fred began to bombard me with questions about Anna. Asking things like if she was hot or her number and things. He was hitting on her before he had her name. So I entertained him by telling him that I told Anna about all the things he asked, which I did. Then he started calling Anna his girlfriend. I told him he was delusional, and that she had a boyfriend. She actually doesn't, but that comes in on step two of this prank. Which is going to take place in class today if I have the nerve to do it."
"You already have me hooked. This is definitely going to be humorous. You will have to tell me everything."
"Good, and this will be. Just the idea of the prank makes me start laughing. It's scary how much this prank hass already changed me."
"It's not a bad transition, though. We need more humor around here. After the war everyone hasn't been quite the same. We all need this kind of thing."
"Yeah, I agree. Even if not everyone can know about the prank. We will still have the joy of it."
"Exactly. Know tell me . . . what is going to happen in class today?"
"I am going to tell Fred that-"
I was cut off by the alarming sound of the bell ringing, signaling that class would be starting in ten minutes. How had I let the time slip away?
"Hurry, I need to get to class before Fred!" I yell, jumping up and running towards the castle.
I could hear Luna's feet pounding against the stone floor as we broke through the door. Students in the hall they stopped to watch us run as we passed by. I didn't care though. I was not going to miss my chance to pull this prank.
"Good luck," Luna whispered right before we went into class.
I threw my bag down on the table we share. I fumbled around in it until I found my Kindle. I got on there I went to my e-mail. It had the script Anna and I had written for today. It was good enough for me to start the prank out with. As I finished reading the last line Fred sat down beside me, sprawling his long legs and taking up all the room under the desk for my legs, probably why I always had to sit sideways.
"You e-maling my girlfriend?" Fred jokes with a wink.
"As a matter of fact I am."
"You e-mailing that girl again?" said a voice.
I glanced up from the screen to see that George was back just like yesterday. Wow, great minds think alike. Not. It just goes show that Fred and George are both dumb by asking the same question. Enough with that, Hermione. It's time to do this. I mentally slapped myself. I need to focus. I was either going to give up and forget about it, or I was going to start laughing again.
"Yeah, oh, and Fred she has a question for you."
"If she is asking permission to see my abs, tell her I don't give abs on the first week."
"Really, because you showed me your abs last night. And no, that wasn't her question."
"That was to make a point last night. Nothing more."
"You sure about that?" I teased.
"Quite. Now what is her question?"
"She wants to know if you have an actual girlfriend."
I froze waiting for the taunting to come. He probably thought that I was asking because I liked him. This was going to be awkward. I would have to spend the rest of the year sitting next to him while he believes I have a crush on him. All my worries were wiped away by his reaction.
"Hell yes! She totally wants me." he yells.
"Go! Go! Go!" George whoops.
The twins began to pound each other on the back and yell in that strange brotherly way. They're laughing so hard, and Fred's deep dimples are showing more than ever before. I laughed along with them. Step two was almost complete. We were lucky that Professor Burbage wasn't in the room. We all would have ended up with detention right then. The other students were watching us, trying desperately to figure out what got the boys so rambunctious. In the back of the class one blond girl sat quietly holding her hand to her face, covering up the snickers that flowed from her lips. Her eyes danced with amusement, and so did mine. When the boys quieted down enough for me to talk I explained the rest of the prank. If only Fred knew what he was getting himself into. . .
"Okay, so Anna broke up with her boyfriend because he was jealous of the other guys looking at her. She is single now and wants to know if you are interested." I stated once they had calmed down.
"Sur-" Fred began.
"He needs to see a picture of her first." George cut in.
"I'll get you a picture." I say immediately.
It was going to take a little bit to work out that situation, but we could solve it. There was no way in Merlin that a picture was going to stop me from finishing this prank. Luna and Anna would be able to help me find a good enough picture by tomorrow.
"Wicked," they both said.
"So you'll date her if she is pretty enough?"
"Yeah, but she could be blind for all I know."
My mind was racing a mile a minute with thoughts as the boys began to list of reasons that she could be imperfect. It was prejudice, but it doesn't matter really. This was just a prank. We could make her as perfect as Fred wanted her to be.
"Hey, does she have one of those Facehook things that Muggles use? I do."
"Facebook you mean? And I don't know. I can have her make one, though."
"Sweet."
Thank you, Fred. That was the best idea ever. Anna and I can make a Facebook for her. Both of us will have the account information; that way either one of us can get on and talk with him. We can make up everything about her. This was definitely going to pull the prank out longer. I can't wait for him to go bragging to the school that he is dating some hot chick from India. I was going to get some laughs out of this. Okay, a lot of laughs. Before we could continue the talk Professor Burbage strolled in. She started class in her normal way by hollering at the Weasley twins to be quiet. When she said Fred's name I started laughing. I had to bite my lip for the rest of class just to contain my laughter. When the bell finally dismissed us, I grabbed Luna's arm and pulled her down the corridor with me. I found us an empty classroom and cast a quick silencing charm. Now was not the time to be overheard.
Luna looked at me, and I looked at her. It lasted about two seconds before we were both doubled over in laughter. I was happy to be sharing my prank with someone. I would have gone insane without some else being there. I could just image what people would think if they had caught me by myself laughing the living daylights off alone. At least with Luna here if someone comes in it wouldn't be as bad.
When the fit of laughter had let up we stayed in the desolated classroom. We both had a free hour so we spent the time searching my laptop for a picture that would meet Fred's standards. After an hour we found one that would work. We just need to approve it with Anna. Then we could start making the Facebook account next. "This picture is lovely." Luna sighed.
"Yes, I think that it's going win over, Fred."
"Yes, now I am having a craving for pudding."
"Strange...lets go eat."
*scene break*
Back in the common room that night I sent Anna the picture. She approved it and we began to discuss the topic of the Facebook account. We need to know all the details so I suggested that we base them off of ourselves and only change minor things to Fred's liking. That way we could remember everything with less chance of slipping up and Fred uncovering our secret.
Once we had all the details planned out for the Facebook we just chatted about how our lives were going. That lasted for a little bit, but the conversation was once again drawn back to Fred. This time it was Anna asking for a description of him. I told her that I would write an e-mail tomorrow with a physical and personality description of him. I need to watch him more closely to see his behavior because if I was honest I knew nothing about Fred. Yeah, he was one of my best friend's brothers, but I didn't know him well. I knew he liked pranks and was arrogant sometimes. That he was a player. That was all. I really need to understand him more if I was going to pull this off. Which I was going to do. This prank will be the highlight of my last year. Who gives a damn about all the tests? I can pass them in a blink of the eye. I didn't need to study. I needed to lighten up, and I was going to do just that. Okay, that a lie. Of course I'm going to study my ass off still, just maybe not all of it.