PLEASE READ
*There are violent themes in this chapter so please be aware. It is somewhat graphic! Please do not read of this will offend you.
*On another note, sorry for the long wait on an update but my other story, Hidden Among Them, does take priority over this one and I'm in school taking quite a few classes! So, enjoy. Reviews welcomed!
-Start-
I'm swimming or at least that's what it looks like. I can barely feel myself anymore but there's one presence that I'd recognize anywhere and I can feel her stronger than I do myself. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear I was her. But she's still a little foreign to me, which is an amusing thought because I know her body as well as I know my own. I gasp slightly as an image flickers before me, almost like a show on the telly. Then I recognize the people, it's Ginny and I, sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor common room.
-Break-
"What's wrong love?" Ginny asked as she ran her fingers through Hermione's wild mane of hair.
"Just sleepy is all, this research is becoming a bit ridiculous. We've gotten all the horcruxes that we know of but we're almost positive there's still one more, we just don't know what it is so I've been trying to dig into his past to try and figure out what he could've used. Plus I've been doing my side research add in classes and Head Girl duties, I'm just getting worn out I think. This weekend, I promise I'll take a break and it can just be the two of us, sound good?"
"That sounds amazing. Here, give me that." Ginny said gently taking the book from Hermione. "I'll keep reading until I finish this chapter and then I'll wake you up and we can go back to your room for bed. Just relax for now, see if you can't rest your eyes a bit."
"Mmm that sounds amazing. How'd I get so lucky to have you?" Hermione asked sleepily.
"Harry was taken so I went gay, you'll have to thank him for it."
"If I weren't so tired I'd slap you for that comment."
"Ha! Even if you were awake you'd have to catch me and we both know that I'm faster."
"Yes but I'm better at jinxes to catch you with darling." Hermione drawled in an accent causing the red head to giggle.
"Sometimes it feels like we've been like this forever Hermione."
"Mmhmm." the other girl responded sleepily, her head drooping slightly against Ginny's shoulder.
"I know that we said we wouldn't do this, that you didn't want us to get too attached with the war and everything and that I promised when we started I wouldn't say anything but. Gods Hermione, I can't imagine my life without you, and I don't want to. I love you."
-Break-
Hermione felt her heart stutter in her chest as she watched the memory. But she didn't feel it like she'd expected, she didn't feel like a third party or even herself watching this memory, she felt what Ginny did. She stared at the screen, watching the end of the memory again and again as Ginny brushed her hair back from her face only to see that Hermione had dozed off and not heard her declaration. Then the red head shifted slightly, wrapped her arm around Hermione and whispered "perhaps it's better you didn't hear me, but I do love you Hermione, more than anything." and then simply went back to reading.
So this was the first time Ginny had told her she loved her. They'd only been dating about five months. The Order had just begun training Ginny and Hermione separately for the jobs they'd take over. Had she really kept it to herself for almost eight months? Although, she thought, I guess I can't say much, I knew about a month after this that I had more than sexual feelings for Ginny. I was just too stubborn to admit I loved her, I just thought I had a strong emotional attachment. That's love though. And now I may never be able to tell her. No! I have to tell her, I can't stay like this, I can't do this again, to her, to us. I can't just give up because it might not work. I have to fight.
Hermione looked at the memory that played in front of her and gave a mental push towards it. It wavered slightly but went right back to normal so she pushed harder looking for the link that attached her to Ginny. There. She found the link and pushed with every ounce of determination and strength she could muster. At first she thought it wouldn't be enough but then she felt herself being pulled through a tunnel, squeezed until she felt as though she couldn't breath and began gasping for air, clawing t her throat. It eased slightly before the sensation of being tossed out of a floo took over.
-Break-
"Healers!" Ginny shouted, leaning over Hermione and trying to hold down her arms as the other woman grabbed at her neck. Tears streamed down Ginny's face as Hermione gasped for air. She felt the woman's body go rigid and stop moving, glancing down she jumped back as Hermione's eyes shot open.
"Hermione?"
"I-I didn't think it'd work. Ginny? Ginny are you okay? No! Don't go, fight it, I know you can fight it. I felt you, I saw your memory, I know you told me you loved me. Please!" Hermione screamed at the now limp body in her arms. She sobbed openly. This wasn't what she wanted, tis wasn't what she was hoping old happen. She thought if she fought through and pushed through the memory that she'd be able to t least tell Ginny. Bt they'd both been awake, even if it was for seconds. She'd heard her voice, felt her hands on her. It was possible, it was clearly possible for them both to be awake. There was hope and that was all that really mattered when it came down to it.
Healers rushed into the room and stood silently as the looked upon the girl who had been their patient cradling a lifeless looking red head.
"Miss Granger?" one of the healers said gently.
"Get. Out." she whispered barely loud enough for them to hear.
"Excuse me?"
"I said get the bloody hell out of my room and don't come back! You're useless, the whole lot of you are useless. I could've died in the time it took you to get here, she could've died. So get out and don't bother us again unless we call for you." Hermione said furiously.
"I'm sorry Miss Granger, we didn't realize it was Miss Weasley calling and your stats hadn't changed in almost a month, it took Miss Weasley much longer to come out, we weren't expecting a change in you for t least another month."
"Frankly I don't care what your excuses are. None of you were useful before and you certainly aren't now so just get out before I forcibly remove you from my room."
She hated healers. Ever since she woke up and they'd forgotten the most important thing to check for after her attack. The one time they had Lucius Malfoy on something that they could've put him away for and they simply forgot.
-Break-
"Alright, Ginny's team is going to go in first like usual. After five minutes if Harper hasn't come back then we'll assume everything went as planned and we can apparate in. Hermione, your team is the smallest so I want you entering from the back, they usually don't guard there at this bunker. Ginny, you and two members of your team will meet Hermione there as soon as you can. Everyone needs to keep their eyes and ears open, this should be an easy in and out, grab Remus and then we're gone. Whichever team gets to him first, attach the portkey and get him out then send up your signal and everyone else can port out. Ginny you'll be last to leave, set off the bomb and apparate fast. Any questions?"
The room stayed silent others than the swish of heads nodding. "Everyone, you know the positions to take, on three. One...two...three." a resounding crack of fifteen apparitions and they were gone.
Hermione moved her way towards the front of the room to stand with Harry and Ron. "She'll be fine Hermione, don't worry."
"I know that Harry, she always is, it's them I'm worried about." Hermione stated pointing towards the newest members.
"You've trained them perfectly Hermione, they all passed with flying colors so stop worrying so much. Fred and George will be with them anyway except for Monroe and Jacobs they're going with you since they had the heist ending scores and we're short our usuals since they're in Russia."
"That's fine Harry, although I wish you'd have sent me with someone other than Monroe."
"Only because you're afraid Ginny is going to murder her one of these days for touching you all the time." Ron said laughing.
"Well yes there's that but I swear that girl just freaks me out sometimes, the way she used to watch me in class, like she was memorizing my every move."
"Well," Harry drawled, " you are the Great Hermione Granger, best friend to Harry Potter and a celebrity of your own after all that fiendfyre business."
"He's right 'Mione, she's probably just looking for a way to either become you or cum for you."
"Eww Ronald, sometimes your maturity amazes me." Hermione said with a grimace.
Harry and Ron simply laughed before Harry put his hand out for Hermione. She grabbed his and extended hers to Ron. This was there thing, right before they apparated out they all grabbed one another, securing in their minds they were all fine and a silent promise to be careful and come back alive. She dropped their hands are Harry started speaking.
"Everyone ready? Three, two, one, Go!"
And with a crack everyone was gone. Everyone except for her.
And Monroe
-Break-
Breath, breath. Fear of the memory will make it worse. Fear of the memory will make it worse. I chanted over and over in my head using the tactics the therapist I'd been seeing for four months had taught me. It hasn't been that long since I stopped going, or it hadn't been when Ginny and I had this minor accident. It'd taken me a while once I got back to be intimate with Ginny again. It was a week after the attack before I'd let anyone even touch me, a month before I'd let her touch me. And two weeks after that before she'd convinced me to see someone about it. Four months after before i was intimate with Ginny again. The therapist said I was doing amazingly well, that few people were strong enough to out in the time and commitment I'd been doing to overcome something like this. But i had to, for the war, for Ginny, for us. I stopped the therapy when the therapist began questioning why I relived the memories and why her tactics weren't working to help me stop them. I don't want to remember though but I can't stop the memory, it's almost like it has a mind of its own. It likes torturing me, making me relive it, I swear I think Lucius cast a spell to make me able to remember every vivid detail. My only regret, as I get sucked into the memory, is that I know Ginny is reliving it with me. Now she'll see everything I kept to myself.
-Break-
"Monroe what the hell is going-"
"Expelliarmus!" the girl shouted from the other side.
"What are you doing?"
"What's it look like mudblood? Here they said you were the brightest witch of our age but you're nothing more than a bookish girl who has spent too much time having her ego stroked by everyone around her. I knew you'd just simply think I had a thing for you, like every other person seems to in this god forsaken Order. But oh, you were oh so wrong Granger. This was the perfect opportunity to take you." the girl said walking up to Hermione before casting an incarcerous to keep her bound. "Now we're going to go have a little fun with Daddy." the girl whispered in Hermione's ear.
Monroe grabbed her arm and with a tug Hermione felt herself being pulled by sidelong apparition. When she landed hard on the floor Hermione looked around only to come face to face with a very pristine black boot. Her eyes ran up until she was looking into the face of one of Voldemorts most beloved death eaters.
"Lucius, since when do you have a daughter?"
"Didn't you notice the resemblance?" he asked looking over at the girl.
Hermione looked but frankly the not resemblance was her eyes and at this moment in time she looked more like Bellatrix than anyone else. Lack hair teased and leaning back with the same malicious glint to her eye and smirk on her-
"Oh gods, you're Bellatrix's daughter. Even for you that's low Lucius, Narcissa finally found herself a real man to play with? Had to resort to her crazed sister just to get some?" Hermione taunted. She knew she was being stupid, this would my earn her pain in. The long run it the one thing she knew about Lucius Malfoy was that he always liked to play with his toys before turning them over and if she could goad him into killing her before handing her to the Dark Lord then all her secrets would be safe.
"Stupid little mudblood, don't speak about my mother like that. Crucio!" Monroe shouted from her space in the corner of the room.
Hermione bit down on her lip drawing blood, but she would not scream, she would not give the satisfaction, they would not break her. She silently thanked the gods for every moment she'd worked with Snape.
"Stop it Gaia. No since it killing her before we get her to the Dark Lord, then everything you did over the past year would be a waste."
"Why?" Hermione rasped out, blood tricky slightly down her chin. "Why go through I all this trouble for me?"
"Regardless of what some people think, mudblood or not you're the key to defeating the Order. Potter would never have survived this long without you and besides, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about that turned my son away from me." Lucius spat out the last part like it was leaving a bad taste in his mouth.
"Draco didn't betray you for me, Lucius."
"Oh but he did! You may have been too busy with your pretty little blood traitor girlfriend but my son was infatuated with you Granger. Always talking about the Golden Trio, always referring to you three brats. Then he started ignoring all the pretty little gifts I sent him, he'd never done that before. The day I caught him," Lucius turned his face as if in shame, "enjoying himself to a photo with you and Potter on the front page was enough for me."
Hermione began laughing, she couldn't help it. Some people were just so stupid.
"Ignorance really is bliss isn't it Lucius? Did you never stop to think that perhaps it wasn't me he was 'enjoying himself to'? Besides haven't you heard the rumors in the last six months since your precious son betrayed you?"
"What are you taking about? Gaia what is she talking about?"
The girl visibly flinched before responding shakily. "He-he was never in love with the mudblood, Father."
"Who? Wh would he betray me for then?" Lucius roared, beyond pissed off.
"Why, none other than the Great, undefeated, Harry Potter." Hermione smirked.
"You lie." Lucius hissed.
"She isn't father. She isn't lying, Draco has been seeing Potter for about three months now. They're quite-attached."
"Crucio!" Lucius shouted as his daughter crumpled to the floor in screams.
"You're going to pay mudblood. You and I have something in common, we both like to manipulate curses and make them a little more-refined. Imperiosus." Lucius said casting the spell on Hermione.
"You see, what's amazing is that everything that happens while you're imperio'd you'll remember, perfectly, you won't feel like you have to do it, you'll be screaming in your head the whole time to stop but your body will respond. See, I'm controlling your body, not your mind. Oh," he said leaning down towards Hermione's ear, "did I mention that because I'm not manipulating you mentally that no one has been able to throw off the curse. But by all means, try as much as you'd like, it'll only make it better for me."
"You're a monster." she spat as her body moved forward on hands and knees.
"And you're over dressed. Strip."
Hermione felt her body involuntarily stand and begin removing her clothing. She fought against it, willing her body to respond but this was nothing like the imperius that she'd perfected throwing off, nothing like the spell she'd worked hours on with Snape. Her eyes welled with tears involuntarily. Pain she could handle, it Lucius Malfoy was never one to simply torture a captive, he always tried to break them. And Hermione knew, as well as he did, pain would not break her.
"Gaia get out."
"But father!" she cried, clearly wanting to watch. Lucius turned his head towards her and gave a feral growl. "I said out." he watched her leave before locking and warding the door, then cast several spells across the room.
"Walk over to me. Oh, mudblood you've no idea how much you're going to enjoy this." Hermione's hope plummeted.
"Did I mention that while raping women is always incredibly enjoyable that the real joy, my real passion," he said running his finger across her breasts and palming them until her nipples hardened under his hand and she moaned involuntarily, "is making those women who don't break under pain, break under pleasure." Tears pooled in Hermione's eyes as she felt the familiar heat pooling in her belly. Anything but this she thought, gods I could handle anything but this. His fingers dipped into her folds, teasing at her clit. Hermione felt her knees buckle from the pleasure and she gasped out, tears finally flowing freely down her face.
"No, no, no, we can't have this." he said licking the tears off that had dropped on her breasts and following their paths back up. "No crying." instantly Hermione felt her eyes dry slightly, the tears she'd been free to shed now gone with no hope of returning. Her last available way to express how this tormented her, gone. Lucius pulled her body flush against his now naked form, pressed her hand against his length and whispered in her ear, gently nipping at the flesh. "You're going to be begging me to fuck you over and over again by the end of the night mudblood and I promise, you'll enjoy every second of it."
-Break-
Silent tears are running down my face. This is only one of the handful of times I've managed to cry over what happened, but I'm not crying for me, I'm crying for her. Because as I replay the whole two days I spent locked in Malfoy Manor where he periodically crucio'd me to bring me back from the mind numbing place I'd tried to hide while everything was going on. Pain woke me up, pleasure broke me down. Two days being tortured by Lucius Malfoy before they were able to get me out, I know Ginny is reliving it all and I'm still helpless to stop the memory. The healers think that perhaps this is a so effect of the spell Lucius modified but we're not sure. Draco is going through the journals he stole of his fathers in hopes of finding out for sure and perhaps find a counter curse. Until them once I think about it, I'm stuck until the memory is done replaying, thank god there were periods of time I slept, I don't think I'd be able to handle a full 48hours worth of memories. It's rare I think of the beginning though, usually it's just the end of the memory I remember so I'm only stuck thinking about it for about an hour. Luckily I'm still able to function while the memory is going on though or else I'd be pretty useless.
I still can't help but feel bitter when I think of the healers here when the Order brought me in. All their ignorance, all their flightiness that caused me to have gone through everything for nothing.
-Break-
Hermione sat up in the unfamiliar bed and looked around, white walls bleakly looking back at her as though they too took pity on her. She felt a small hand touch her hand causing her to shriek and dart off the bed into the corner.
"I can move, I can move, oh gods I can move again." she chanted.
"Hermione? Hermione it's me, Ginny." the girl said quietly as she approached Hermione.
"Don't don't come near me. Don't let me taint you. Don't come near me. Don't let me taint you."
"What are you talking about Hermione? You're fine, nothing's wrong with you. Everything was healed up perfectly."
Hermione laughed, a flat, broken laugh which simply reverberated off the walls making her laugh harder. Ginny stared on in wonder, who was this woman curled in a ball in the corner cackling madly? Her injuries hadn't been that bad, the healers said it looked like she'd barely been tortured compared to the few who had even made it back from being death eater hostages. What had they done to her?
"Are you alright Hermione?"
"Never, never alright. Soooo dirty." she moaned scratching at her arms, tearing into her flesh.
"Stop it Hermione!" Ginny cried stepping forward to grab Hermione's hands.
"No! No! Don't touch me!" Hermione cried shoving Ginny back into the medical bed she'd been on before. Ginny toppled over it just as healers came bursting into the room from the screaming.
"Miss Weasley! Are you alright?" one of them asked as another tried to calm Hermione down long enough to get her into the bed.
"Don't touch her, she'll panic. You said she was fine!" Ginny screamed at the healer who was standing in the doorway looking over Hermione's file. "Does this bloody well look fine to you? She freaked when I touched her hand and then wouldn't let me anywhere near her."
"Has she ever been violent in the past?" the healer asked calmly.
"Has she ever been-Are you stupid? I mean honestly, this is Hermione Granger! Of course she hasn't! The only time she even raises her wand to someone is when it's absolutely necessary. I mean she won't even let me kill a bloody spider for Gods sake, makes me take the damned thing outside!"
"Obviously she's suffering from some sort of trauma."
"Well, now that you've cleared that up for me. " Ginny spat out sarcastically, raising an eyebrow eerily similar to the way Snape did she asked "Now what a you going to do to help her?"
"Mss Granger, can you hear me?" the healer with the chart asked as she took a step towards the bed.
"Did you get him?" Hermione asked, eyes wide in anticipation for the answer. "We've finally got him, finally got the proof, he'll finally be gone. Did you get him? Did you?"
"Get who Miss Granger?" the healer asked perplexed.
"Why Lucius Malfoy of course, who else?" the girl asked as though everyone in the too sold have. And the fact is, they should've but the day Hermione had come in, there'd been an attack on diagonal alley. There were a number of people hurt, everyone was running around. That's why Hermione had been brought here instead of to Poppy. Poppy had been summoned to to help with the incoming, the attack was the only reason the Order had even been able to get Hermione out, knowing that the death alters would begone at the raid.
"Why would we have gotten , Hermione? Is he the one who attacked you?"
"Don't you know? Didn't you look? Didn't you take the evidence?" Hermione almost screamed the last part.
"Miss Granger we have no idea what you're talking about or what evidence you're speaking off? You barely had any injuries when you came in, a few broken ribs, a concussion, but mostly your body was simply exhausted from multiple crucio's. There was no evidence and you weren't awake so we could not have anyone pull your memories without your consent."
"All for nothing. All for nothing. All for nothing." Hermione said over and over.
"What was all for nothing Miss Granger?"
Hermione looked up at the healer, ignoring the concerned gaze of her girlfriend and simply said in a voice that could've made Voldemort himself flinch form the emotionally devoid tone.
"Being raped of course."
-Break-
Sighing I stand up and begin to pack everything I've collected her over the last few months. I can't help but be a little excited, even if she isn't awake yet. I'm going to figure it out, I'll fix this, I'll fix everything. I want to finally be able to tell Ginny that I love her. I want to marry her, have children with her. I want this war ended and I want everyone who has stood in my way to pay. Levitating books into the many boxes I had Ron bring over yesterday I pause when I hear the door open.
"Everything alright Miss Granger?" the healer asked.
"Yes why wouldn't it be?"
"Well I heard you moving around when I walked by and we hardly hear noise from in here so I wanted to ask. What a you doing?"
"I'm packing up my things to leave."
"But Miss Granger! The last time you left she almost died; you'll both die if you leave!"
"No we won't, she's coming with me."
-Author's Note-
* I know this was a little graphic and I'm sorry if you didn't like it because of that BUT it's a really important part of Ginny and Hermione's relationship, it brought them so much closer. Plus I had to make sure that the spell Lucius modified was explained well which is why I focused on it so much because that will be a rather large part in the plot ultimately. So, memory wise, we've got about who more months of memory to get to until I've caught up to the actual battle. Then we'll start getting into the main plot line and see more of other characters. Hope you liked it! And thanks to the people who have reviews so far!