From Humble Beginnings: Chapter 3—Lily Evans
By KnightMara
A/N: Everyone in this chapter belongs to J.K. Rowling.
I apologize for taking so long to update. However, this chapter, like the previous one, was surprisingly difficult to write. This one actually went through three completely different drafts—it was one of those situations where I knew what I wanted to happen at the beginning and at the end, but I wasn't sure how to get from point A to point B. Plus, I found writing Lily nearly as difficult as writing Peter, but for different reasons. The main problem with writing Lily is that she really isn't a fully developed character in the books—she's only seen through memories, photographs, or ghostly apparitions, all of which are colored by the perceptions of the character to whom they belong or appear. So, I've taken a stab at Lily, and I hope I've hit something close to the nebulous mark.
Again, please review. I can't improve my writing if you don't review. Even if you hate it, let me know (and tell me why . . . please!) I promise that I won't bite.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lily Evans was the next person to take an interest in Remus Lupin, but only after taking an unexpected interest in Peter Pettigrew.
It was a Tuesday afternoon at the beginning of November, and she and the other First Year students were leaving Charms. It had been a good class (they had been practicing Sticking Charms, with the expected comic results), and Lily had thoroughly enjoyed it. Of course, she would have been hard pressed to find a class she did not enjoy, although her weakest class was still Defense Against the Dark Arts. After all, she had never imagined the wizarding world could be so dark and dangerous—or that the creatures of muggle fiction could be real. Who knew that vampires, werewolves, banshees, and other evil beings actually existed? Or that there were protective and defensive spells to use against the dark wizards who lurked outside the boundaries of Hogwarts? It was enough to give her nightmares on occasion, and she often found herself daydreaming about the simple elegance of Potions or the beauty of Transfiguration while she was supposed to be learning about the ways to evade grindylows.
"Oi! What's the matter, Peter?"
Lily turned to see the two most loathsome Hogwarts students, James Potter and Sirius Black, jogging down the aisle of desks towards a miserable looking Peter Pettigrew, who was trying to make his way out of the Charms classroom as quickly as possible.
"Yeah, Pete," Black said teasingly, as soon as he had reached Pettigrew's side. "You look like you've lost your best friend."
"But that would mean you'd had a friend to lose," Potter rejoined. "Petey's tryin' to go all popular on us, Sirius."
"Doesn't seem to be workin' out too well, for him, though," Sirius laughed back and the two boys sprinted from the room, leaving Peter standing stock-still and looking utterly depressed.
Lily immediately felt sorry for him. She didn't particularly like Peter Pettigrew; after all, he was the type of annoying boy who seemed desperate for attention and approval—for pity's sake, he had followed several Gryffindor girls around for several days hoping to appear nice and helpful, but seeming instead rather creepy and pitiful. But silly and sad though he might be, he did not deserve cruelty from the likes of Potter and Black. A part of her wanted to go over and comfort the dejected looking boy; after all, he did look more miserable than usual. However, another part of her knew that if she approached Peter, he might mistake her concern for something more, and then she might never be able to shake him off. She shuddered at the thought, and with a sigh that was full of both pity and shame, she left the classroom.
She didn't give the boy another thought until several hours later, as she sat in the Great Hall with a book about dark creatures settled on her lap. She almost always preferred reading to the idle gossip that usually took place at dinner, and recently she had begun to pick up various books on Defense Against the Dark Arts from the library in order to get a better grasp on the subject. Severus Snape had recommended this one to her so that she could better understand the dangers of dark creatures, as well as how to recognize those that masqueraded as humans. Lily smiled to herself at the thought of how animated Severus had gotten while talking about the subject. While Lily easily matched his passion for Potions—they had been partners since the second class—she would never understand his love of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Then again, Severus could never understand what she loved about Transfiguration, so she supposed they were even.
"Oh, Professor McGonagall," she heard a squeaky voice to her left call out. "Did you find out anything about Remus?"
She glanced over to see her Transfiguration professor pause en route to the staff table. Shifting slightly to get a better look, she saw that it had been Peter Pettigrew who had called out to her.
"Yes, Mister Pettigrew," the professor replied. "Madam Pomfrey has informed me that your friend, Mister Lupin, has a fever and will be staying in the hospital wing overnight."
Mister Lupin? Lily glanced curiously back and forth between Peter and the professor. She could have sworn she knew the name of everyone in her year, but somehow she could not recall any such person.
"Oh." Lily could hear the disappointment in Peter's voice. "Will he be back in class tomorrow?"
"I don't know," Professor McGonagall responded with a hint of impatience. "I suppose it all depends on whether or not he is still contagious tomorrow, and that, Mister Pettigrew, is something that only Madame Pomfrey can determine." And with that, she continued on toward the staff table.
Lily watched her go, instantly curious about this mystery student, but her attention was soon diverted by Potter and Black, who were now laughing.
"So you really did lose your best friend, Petey!" Black said with mock seriousness. "I had no idea. My deepest apologies to you and your ill mystery friend."
"Yeah, Pete," chimed in Potter. "But he must be even more of a nobody than you, 'cause no one else even knew he was missing. Don't know if I even know who he is. Do you, Sirius?"
Black shook his head. "Nope." He looked back at Peter. "What's his name again? Loopy?"
Peter seemed to shrink into himself, but he spoke up in a squeaky voice, "His name is Remus Lupin. And . . . and you'd better not say anything about him."
"Or what, Petey Pitiful?" Potter teased.
Peter's face reddened, and Lily thought he looked ready to explode. "Just shut up!" he cried.
"Ooh," gasped Black in mock surprise. "I think he's getting angry, James. Maybe he's gonna' sic his new boyfriend on us!"
"Is that true, Petey?" Potter asked, matching Black's expression and tone. "Is little Loopy going to come and defend your honor?"
Lily could take no more. Before she could stop herself, she yelled, "Oh, would you two just stuff it!"
Potter, Black, and Pettigrew all froze and looked at her, as did several other Gryffindors seated nearby.
"It's bad enough that you pick on Peter all the time," she went on, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks even as she gave vent to her anger. "But now you're picking on someone you don't even know, who isn't even here to defend himself! You're both . . . pathetic!"
Black was the first to recover his voice. "We're pathetic?" he demanded. "Aren't you Snivelly's little girlfriend? Maybe you should just bugger off to Slytherin table where you belo-"
He didn't get the chance to finish because he was suddenly dripping with pumpkin juice, Lily's hand having emptied her very full goblet in his face before she even realized what she was doing. Now, seeing him there, his black hair hanging wetly upon his shocked face, she suddenly came to herself. She knew she should leave before they hexed her; she knew she should bolt out of the Great Hall before it was too late. But instead, she stood where she had risen, determined to give the two boys one last piece of her mind before she fled.
"You two are mean, sad little boys who have to insult everyone just to make yourselves feel bigger and more important," she bit out. "But the truth is, you're not important, you're not funny, and you're not worth another word from me." And with that, she made her hasty retreat from the Great Hall, her heart thumping in her ears as she left.
She was halfway up the stairs to Gryffindor tower when she heard, "Hey, Lily! Wait up!"
She recognized the squeaky voice as belonging to Peter, and she stopped, surprised that the boy had followed her. He was red-faced and puffing by the time he reached her, but he was smiling—a great big smile that lit up his whole face.
"That was bloody brilliant!" he crowed.
Lily tucked her hair behind her ear nervously and gave him a weak smile in return. "They deserved it."
"I know," agreed Peter nervously, "but I could never have . . . I mean, I tried, but . . .." He took a step closer and whispered, "Today, in Charms, I managed to stick a piece of parchment that said 'Kick Me' to Potter's back, but Black spotted it. Neither of them knew it was me. Don't think anyone would guess that I could manage a Sticking Charm."
Lily took a step back and looked at Peter appraisingly. "You really performed a Sticking Charm?"
Peter's face fell. "I practiced a lot this weekend. Not Sticking Charms, but the others we've done in class. Remus helped."
"Remus?" Lily asked, confused. Then she remembered. "Oh, the boy in the hospital wing. Right."
Peter's face fell even further. "You don't know who he is either, do you?"
Lily thought for a moment, then shook her head. To be honest, if she hadn't overheard his conversation with Professor McGonagall, she might have assumed Peter was talking about an imaginary friend.
Peter, however, shrugged. "Well, even I didn't know him until this weekend, and we're roommates. He sort of keeps to himself. Only we've become friends now, and he's helping me with some of my classes. Like Charms and Transfiguration. But not Potions. He's crap at Potions, just like me."
Lily couldn't help herself, and she laughed. "How can anyone be bad at Potions?"
"How can anyone be bad at Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Peter shot back, his chin jutting out defensively.
Lily balked. "How do you know I'm bad at Defense?"
Peter looked at her pointedly. "How did you know I was bad at Charms?"
He had a point, she realized. She was about to ask him more about his friend when she heard a voice call up the stairs with a very distinct Scottish lilt, "Miss Evans?"
Lily felt the blood drain to her feet as she turned to see Professor McGonagall climbing the stairs with a somewhat drier Black and a smirking Potter in tow. "Yes, Professor?"
"Miss Evans," McGonagall said sternly, "I cannot tolerate pumpkin juice being tossed willy-nilly all over the Great Hall, no matter what these two buffoons might have done to provoke you."
"Professor, we didn't—" Potter began to protest, but McGonagall silenced him with a glare.
Lily, however, offered a quiet, "Yes, Professor. I am sorry for my behavior."
"Thank you," McGonagall replied, "but I shall still have to deduct five points from Gryffindor, and you are to report to my office at six o'clock tomorrow for detention."
"Yes, Professor," Lily responded, trying to ignore the smug expression on Black's face.
McGonagall nodded her head in apparent appreciation for such a mature acceptance of punishment, then steered the two boys up the stairs. Once Lily and Peter were alone again, Peter said, "I'm sorry you got into trouble, Lily."
Lily shrugged and tucked another strand of hair behind her ear. "It was my own fault, Peter. I let them get to me."
"Yes, but because you defended me and Remus," Peter insisted. "I owe you one, Lily."
Lily looked cautiously at Peter, hoping he didn't mean he was now going to be tagging along behind her with his mystery friend out of some sort of ridiculous hero worship. She certainly didn't want that. But then, to her surprise, Peter turned and began to trot upstairs toward Gryffindor Tower, and it suddenly occurred to her that maybe, just maybe, she had misjudged Peter. Maybe he wasn't as creepy and clingy as she and the others had thought. Maybe he had just felt so alone at Hogwarts that he had simply wanted a friend. Who wouldn't? After all, she had Severus, Black and Potter had each other, and now Peter had this Remus fellow, whom she assumed must be a decent sort to have helped Peter out this weekend.
Now that she thought about it, it must be nice to have friends in one's own house. She and Severus always had to make plans to meet somewhere, and if making those plans was not always easy, keeping them was even worse. And as far as her roommates went, Lily really hadn't felt any particular bond with any of them.
Something, however, now lured her toward Peter's mystery friend. Perhaps it was the fact that this boy had been living in Gryffindor Tower since the start of term and she had never even met him. Or perhaps it was the thought that he was the sort to spend a weekend tutoring a new friend. Then again, perhaps it was simply because she liked the thought of boys who kept to themselves. It suggested a sort of maturity—like the kind that Severus possessed.
Lily would definitely appreciate a boy like Severus in Gryffindor.
And, perhaps, Peter might not be such a bad bloke after all.
She headed up the stairs, quickly catching up to Peter. "Say, Peter," she said, and he turned around, surprise etched on his features. "Fancy a game of wizard's chess, since your friend is in the hospital wing?"
The boy smiled. "Sure," he said, "but I'm warning you. I'm a fair genius at chess."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Two days later, Lily had yet to meet Peter's mysterious friend. He had been a no-show in classes on Wednesday, and Thursday morning, Peter reported that he still had not returned to his dormitory. Peter was actually beginning to grow quite worried about Remus, and he told Lily that he was going to pay a visit to the hospital wing before Charms.
"I just need to find out why he hasn't come back yet," he explained.
Lily nodded. "I'll meet you in the Charms classroom, then. I just have to run back to my room to get my textbook."
She then left Peter and headed for Gryffindor Tower. She rushed through the portrait hole and headed across the common room, nearly colliding with someone who was leaving the boy's dormitory. "Oh, excuse me," she said, then paused, staring at the boy she had nearly run into.
He looked vaguely familiar, though she couldn't put a name to the face. He had a small, rather feminine mouth, a largish nose, and a generally lean look. At the moment, though, he was very pale and he looked drawn, as though he had been ill. A bag was slung over his shoulder, and in his arms he held . . . a Charms textbook!
Well, if this wasn't the mystery boy, then who was?
"Remus Lupin, I presume?" she ventured hopefully.
The boy practically jumped out of his skin, pale blue eyes widening in alarm before he recovered himself. "Y-yes," he stammered hoarsely in reply, shifting his bag to his other shoulder and brushing his fringe out of his eyes.
Lily saw that he seemed strangely nervous. "Are you alright?" she asked him.
Again, there was a flash of alarm in his eyes before he responded, "Pardon?"
Puzzled by his behavior, Lily explained, "Professor McGonagall said you'd been in the hospital wing with a fever. I was simply wondering if you were feeling better."
Remus nodded, a bit stiffly. "Yes," he replied, shifting his bag again and stuffing the Charms book into it. "Quite. Thank you."
Still bemused, she glanced at his ever-moving bag and asked, "Heading to Charms, then?"
"What?" he asked, looking toward his bag as though he were desperately trying to keep up with her train of thought and losing. "Oh, yeah," he answered at length. "S-sorry. It took me a moment to remember if I was going to the right class. I'm a bit . . . well, I haven't been to classes in two days. I feel a bit lost."
"Of course," Lily said, nodding in understanding, glad to finally have an explanation for his odd behavior. She had been beginning to wonder if he might be a bit thick. "Well, would you mind waiting for a moment? I have to run up and get my book, and then we can walk to class together and get you caught up."
Remus scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Well, I should probably get there early, seeing as I—"
"I'll just be a minute," Lily interjected. She then spun around and raced up the stairs to get her book without giving him a chance to refuse. She really hoped that he'd still be there when she got back to the common room, as she really wanted the chance to talk to him—to find out if he was truly worth the interest in him that her conversation with Peter had sparked.
To her delight, she saw that he was still there when she returned with her book. He was leaning against one of the large, overstuffed chairs, his bag swinging lazily back and forth in front of his legs while he waited, his pale eyes following the bag's movement from side to side beneath long lashes. "You've got your book, then?" he asked, looking up just as she was about to speak.
"Yes," she said with a smile. "I'm happy you waited for me."
He smiled in return, the expression looking somewhat odd on his drawn and pallid face. "You didn't leave me much choice after you ran up there. It would have been rude of me to leave."
"Sorry," Lily replied, blushing. She then thrust out her hand. "I'm Lily—"
"Evans," Remus finished for her. "Yes, I know," he added when her jaw dropped at his unexpected interruption. He shook her hand. "We rode the Hogwarts Express together."
"We did?" Lily couldn't remember anyone else being in her compartment besides Severus and that older girl who had been so keen to hear all about life with muggles.
Remus, however, gave a little nod and said, "You came into my compartment with Severus Snape, long after the train had already started moving. You were telling Black's cousin about muggles, and I was desperately trying to sleep in the corner."
Lily giggled. "I don't remember this at all. Well, I remember sitting with Severus and talking to that girl—did you say she was Black's cousin?"
Again, Remus nodded. "I heard him say something to James Potter about her being secretly engaged to a muggle-born. Apparently, his family doesn't approve of that sort of thing."
Lily bristled. She'd heard about such wizarding prejudices. "And what about you?"
This time, he just shrugged. "I'm half and half."
"Oh," she said. Like Severus, she thought. Severus, too, would have waited for her. "Well, we should get going," she said, heading toward the portrait hole with a hopeful smile.
Remus moved faster than she would have given his sickly appearance credit for, pushing open the portrait hole before she could reach it, and saying, "Ladies first."
"Such a gentleman," Lily laughed as she stepped through. Now that was something Severus had never done.
"My mum would be disappointed in me if I wasn't," Remus replied as he followed her through.
"Well, Peter said you were considerate," she said with a smile. Then she froze. "Oh, no. Peter!"
Remus looked at her with concern. "What? What is it?"
"He's gone to the hospital wing to check on you," Lily explained.
Although she wouldn't have thought it possible, Remus paled even further than before. "Why?" his voice was barely a whisper.
"Because he was worried about you," Lily answered, growing more concerned about his pallor. "Are you sure you're alright?"
For a moment, he simply blinked at her. Then he responded, "Yes, yes. I'm fine."
"You're very pale," Lily told him, and the truth was, she had never seen anyone look that pale before. It was alarming. "Perhaps you should head back to the hospital wing."
Remus, however, simply waved a hand and attempted a smile. "Just winded, I suppose. Illness and all." Then he abruptly changed the subject and started walking again. "How did Peter do in the last Charms class, by the way?"
"He was brilliant," she told him as soon as she decided to accept his sudden and perplexing shift in topic. "We learned Sticking Charms, and he told me that he charmed a piece of parchment to stick to Potter's back. It said 'Kick Me' on it."
Remus laughed, and it was a deep, breathy chuckle. "He didn't!"
"He did," insisted Lily. "Sadly, Black caught it before anyone had a chance to kick him, but neither of them knew that Peter was the one that did it."
"I'm sorry I missed it," Remus said, still chuckling. "I never would have imagined he'd go through with it."
"Go through with it?" Lily asked, surprised. "You mean it was planned?"
Remus' pale cheeks took on a shade of pink, and he looked down at his feet as they walked. "Well, not really planned so much as mentioned." He smiled bashfully. "We sort of went through the list of upcoming charms, and for each one, Peter kept coming up with ways of pranking our roommates. I actually came up with a pretty nice prank for the Colour Changing Charm. Not that I was planning to use it, of course," he added hastily.
Lily could only stare at him as they continued down the corridor. This boy was not quite what she had been expecting. Already, she could tell that he was of a much brighter spirit than Severus, although he was as evasive about his health as Severus had been about his family when they had first met. Knowing well what Severus had kept hidden for so long, she couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to Remus's recent stay in the hospital wing than a simple fever.
She also realized that a boy who could use a Charms text to create pranks on other students might not be as mature a person as she had hoped. Then again, he had said that he was not intending to use any of them, so maybe he was just impish in mind if not in action.
"Like I said," Remus continued after a time, "I didn't expect Peter to actually go through with the Sticking Charm plot. But I suppose you now think we're no better than Potter and Black."
Something in the tone of his voice made Lily feel instantly guilty for thinking him immature—especially after her own actions on Tuesday night. She shook her head and smiled ruefully. "Actually, I should probably tell you that I served detention with Professor McGonagall last night for something I did to Black."
Remus stopped and turned to her. "Really? What did you do?" In his blue eyes she saw an odd mixture of emotions: curiosity about what she had done; disbelief that she, Lily Evans, could have done anything to warrant detention; and hope that she was something of a . . . kindred spirit, she supposed.
"Nothing even remotely clever," she admitted, and she saw the hope in his eyes diminish somewhat. "I simply emptied my goblet of pumpkin juice onto Sirius Black's face at dinner the other night."
Remus gave a snort of laughter before asking, "And what had he done to deserve such vengeance?"
"He was teasing me and Peter," she told him, omitting the fact that Remus had been included in the teasing as well. She didn't want to embarrass him by revealing that a girl rushed to his defense—or that she, specifically, had rushed to his defense.
Remus smiled. "Well, it seems, Miss Evans, that you and Peter have a common enemy," he said with mock gravity as they started walking again, and she saw that he was stroking his chin with practiced theatricality.
She giggled. "And, pray, what are we to do about that?"
Remus shook his head. "Suffer in silence, I'm afraid."
Lily gave a dramatic gasp. "Surely you don't think we're incapable of anything more charming than that!"
At that, Remus gave another chuckle and said, "We shall have to see. What have we got today? Ah . . . Engorgement Charms, I believe. Hmm, perhaps we might be able to think of something."
Lily couldn't help but laugh. "I'm glad I ran into you, Remus," she said abruptly, and it was true. She was glad she had run into him the way she had, for she had learned a lot about him in a short amount of time, and she had a pretty good idea of the sort of person he was. Truth was, she liked him, plain and simple.
"You only nearly ran into me," Remus corrected, garnering another laugh.
"True," she admitted. "But I like you. You're so different from the others."
Remus paused again, though they were nearly to the Charms classroom. "Peter said the same thing," he said, and Lily could tell by his tone and his expression that he was suddenly being very serious. "Am I really so different?"
Lily was momentarily taken aback by the fear she saw in his eyes. "Well, no . . . and yes," she stammered. "I mean, you're nice . . . and you're clever, but not in a 'I-need-to-let-everyone-know-just-how-clever-I-am' sort of way, like Potter and Black. After all, I didn't even know you existed until this past Tuesday, so you're pretty good at not drawing attention to yourself. But I wish I'd met you sooner because . . . well, I like you. That's all."
Remus nodded, and he seemed more at ease, although he still shifted uncomfortably. His next words explained why. "It's just that . . . well, I haven't had . . . well, any friends in a long time. I'm just not . . . it's embarrassing to admit, but, I'm just more comfortable on my own and I don't always know how to act . . .well, normally around others."
"Well, you're doing fine with me," Lily assured him with a smile. "And Peter, too. So I wouldn't worry." Then she frowned and asked, "But why didn't you have any friends? Didn't you go to school?"
Remus shook his head. "My mum schooled me at home," he said softly, and again, he seemed a bit paler than before. "I was . . . I was ill much of the time. Too ill to attend school. But I really don't like to talk about it." There was an earnest, almost pleading look in the brief glance he gave Lily before he looked back down at his feet.
So her suspicions about his health had been correct—perhaps it had been a relapse of some sort. Again, she smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, I won't pry," she told him. "But we should probably hurry up."
Remus glanced at his watch and his eyebrows arched up. "You're right. We're almost late."
They sprinted the remaining distance to the Charms classroom, and Lily immediately saw Peter's expression light up as soon as he laid eyes on Remus. She then took her usual seat next to Cecilia Brighton, watching as Remus sat beside Peter, who immediately began whispering excitedly to his friend.
Somehow she knew, without a doubt, that these two would be her lifelong friends.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Later that night, as he lay secure behind his bed curtains, Remus Lupin once again reflected on the strange path his life at Hogwarts was taking. A few days ago, he had been utterly content to continue on the solitary course he had traveled since that life changing night all those years ago. No one had known his name, no one had noticed his disappearances, and no one had cared about him or his feelings upon his returns. Now, in the span of a week, he had managed to gain not one, but two friends who did all those things. It was worrisome, but at the same time, Remus rather liked it. He felt less like a freak and more like a normal boy.
Well, as normal as a boy who had secretly Engorged the left foot of one Sirius Black could be. He laughed at the memory of the mayhem that had engulfed the Charms classroom earlier that day, glad that, for once, he had been a part of it—although only Lily and Peter knew as much.
Lily and Peter. They were so very different, and yet they had both managed to befriend the boy who had not had a single friend in years. Yet Peter he had known for a mere four days, and Lily only since this afternoon.
How had two people managed to shatter his solitary existence in such a short amount of time? How had he managed to go from a "me" to being a part of a "we"? And how was it that he now look forward to a month of gleeful companionship instead of a month of lonely and solitary dread?
And what would happen when the month was over, when he once again disappeared? He was grateful to McGonagall for the lie she had offered this month, but what about next month? Would he be "ill" again? Or would a member of his family have a fictional emergency? Would he have to alternate between the two fictional scenarios over the coming months? Or possibly even years?
He shook his head in the dark, dismissing his worries. He had a month to plan. A month in which to concoct a year's worth of excuses if necessary.
They would never know the truth.
They could never know the truth.