AN: Hopefully everybody survived Sunday or Monday in Europe's case. :-/ I'm still in shock... I wish I could say this chapter is a fluffy one but it's not. Nevertheless I hope you enjoy it. I promise it will be the last chapter that close to the TV-storyline.
Shelter
It took only a few minutes to reach the shelter Carol had in mind. They met only three walkers on their way and above all that the area seemed really quiet. Too quiet. Odd for a city in the middle of the end of the world.
Darkness was still swirling through the streets. Carol guessed it might be after midnight, when Daryl unlocked the door of the shelter. Silently they sneaked through the halls, checking the house for any walkers or other living.
„What's this?", Daryl murmured, not looking at her. He sneaked forward, the halls more contorted now, his crossbow always pointing to his heading direction. Carol followed him, the rifle likewise in position.
„Temporary housing.", she answered shortly. Quickly she swallowed all the memories, that came with this word. With this place. As if they were surfacing through the mist of her mind. Through the mist which mercifully helped her to suppress the pictures. Incidentally Daryl headed directly to the room in which Sophia and she held out a few nights.
„You came here?", he asked, eying her with anxiously. After all he knew about her life he shouldn't be surprised, Carol thought.
„Yeah. But we didn't stayed." She didn't answered his glance, as if to show him that she didn't want to talk about it.
The room was furnished pretty simple. Just a bunk bed, a dresser, a table and two chairs. No comfort. They put their backpacks down and prepared for the night. Or more precisely for what was left of it.
„I take first watch.", she said very firmly while looking out of the small window. She could only see the inner yard, which only was a small place on the roof of a smaller building. It was dull, dark and depressing. The very first signs of dawn showed up in the east.
„Sure? You should sleep." He raised one eyebrow when he contemplated her. As if he knew there was something wrong, but was not able to name it.
„I don't mind, just get some sleep. I wake you in two hours." She pointed to the bottom bunk, still avoiding his glance.
Daryl yielded. He took his vest of, put his crossbow right beside the bed and flopped onto the bed. Stretching himself he yawned. There was a loud growl in his stomach, but hunger was not important now. With one hand he rubbed his chin, his beard and eyed her silhouette at the window with a contemplative wrinkle on his forehead.
„So we gotta start over?", she asked, still staring onto the dark city outside of the window. Without lights, driving cars, glowing advertisings the city appeared dead. Dark, depressing and dead.
„Yah.", Daryl answered, his voice full of optimism.
„Do you?", Carol asked, daring a short glimpse to him over her shoulder.
„I'm trying.", he answered honestly and looked to the floor. Sometimes he felt as if Carol was able to look into the darkest corner of his inner self, so that she was able to even see the unspoken thoughts.
Minutes slid away. Daryl made no move to sleep and Carol was still looking at Atlanta. Lost in her thoughts. In her memories.
„What's on your mind?", Daryl murmured. Something about what was going on with her didn't felt right. As if something was in imbalance but he still wasn't able to conceive what it was.
Carol hesitated, bevor she began to speak. How should she clothe her thoughts in words? But on the other hand – this was Daryl. If someone was able to understand her thoughts, then he. He was so much alike her it sometimes was frightening her. She turned to him, looked at his figure lying on the small bed.
„We won't find any safe shelter for us. There is no safety anymore." She intended to say much more. But she only brought forward those words. Her eyes were so cloudy and sad.
„Why are you here then?", he asked, still capturing her glance.
„I'm trying." And a implied smile flitted over her gloomy face.
She walked to the bottom bunk, sat down besides Daryl and flopped backwarts. She equally stretched her arms and legs, aching from the very long day. They lay besides each other, shoulder to shoulder across the small bed.
It was strange that his proximity suddenly felt awkward. Not unpleasant as if she didn't want to have him around or near her. No, it was the whole opposite. At that very moment she was so much aware of his nearness and she felt embarrassed. The silence between them felt awkward. Why?
„You never asked what happened with the girls.", she whispered, as if the words burned on her mind, fighting to get out.
„Yeah I know what happened. They ain't here.", he murmured, asking himself why she brought out this topic.
„It was worse than that." Carol swallowed heavily, felt how tears welled in her eyes. Shit, why was she so overemotional right now?
Without pondering he grabbed her hand. He tried to comfort her, feeling the lump in his throat as if it were his own. He didn't care what happened. All he wanted was to lighten her up. That she was her, Carol, and the strange new side on her would disappear.
Carol tensed as she felt his calloused skin touched hers. His hand was warm and rough. The touch sparked an intense glow in her and she was frightened as she recognized the feeling.
„Reason I said we start over is cause we gotta. Fuck the way it was..." He stopped speaking. Daryl was not much of a talker and he knew that she would unerstand what he tried to say.
„Yeah.", she wispered. Still staring at the ceiling of the top bunk. She did understand him. But she didn't respond to the soft pressure of his hand. She only permitted it and even that was hard enough. After all this time with Ed physical proximity was unfamiliar and something severe to stand. But with Daryl it was easier. And it was still getting easier. She could feel it.
All the time they didn't look at each other. They only lay side by side, staring at the ceiling of the top bunk. His thumb was stroking the back of her hand and she closed her eyes. A very intense tingling swirled through her body. As Daryl suddenly was aware of what he was doing he felt awkward in an instant. He actually wanted to comfort her but then he sensed this peculiar feeling, that sparked from the touch of her hand.
And he realized, that she realized it.
In that second he let go of her and pretended to rub his eyes.
A sudden bluster broke the awkward silence. Both rose synchronously. With a smooth movement Daryl stood up, grabbed his crossbow and shoved it in defense position. Carol followed as quickly with the rifle, that she had stored at the ladder of the bunk bed.
The bluster sounded again and armed like that they sneaked noiseless through the hall, following the noise. Daryl lifted a small flashlight and lightended the hall a little while Carol was having his back. And then they saw it.
Behind a door of frosted glas the shape of a female walker appeared. She knocked and scratched against the glas. Daryl and Carol exhaled. They had expected worse. Only one walker. No problem.
And then the second shape appeared. A child. Maybe three years old guessed from the size.
It was like a shock for Carol. She felt hot and cold and shattered in the very same second. And this time she was not able to control it. Or suppress it.
Sofia
Lizzie.
Mika.
Ed.
Her subconscious regurgitated every moment of her past. Everything hidden in the darkest part of her soul came back to her in this moment. All the feelings. The pain, the grief, the rage. They gained the upper hand in her body.
Carols hand tried to reach out to the door knob. But Daryl shoved into her way, stopped her hand, the crossbow pointing to the floor as he was holding it only with one hand now.
„You don't want to." His glance was clear and anxious. And hers was only frozen. Absent. Now Daryl was really bothering about her. Her hand darted to reach the knob.
„You don't.", he whispered. His voice more certain now, his arm between her and the knob. He saw feelings appearing on her face, which he could not classify.
Carol turned, the rifle pointing to the floor, she walked back the the room. Her footsteps a fast rhythm on the dusty floor. She began to sob uncontrollable.
Daryl was just watching her. Not able to sort out what happened.
And then she broke down.