A/N: Hello again people :) I'm in maths... Again :L
I like not doing my work :)
Obviously when I upload this, I'm not still in maths though. I think I'd die if I was...

Do you know what I absolutely hate?! I absolutely f***ing hate it when people say Mordred is evil. Mordred is NOT evil! I could seriously rant to/at people that do call him evil.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin.

Sorry for my awful writing and please forgive me if I make spelling and grammar mistakes. Feel free to critique/criticise anything; I really don't mind.

/

"It's all my fault." Mordred sobbed, refusing to move his face from his shaking hands. His throat felt dry and he found it difficult to breathe, but he still could. He felt like his head was on fire as his crying had caused him a burning headache, yet still, he was unable to stop. Whatever consequences he'd expected from releasing Kara, he'd never thought that losing Merlin could be one of them.

"Gaius can keep him alive." Arthur said slowly, his voice hoarse and dry. He was considering crying himself, but he knew he had to be strong for everyone else. "But he doesn't know if he'll ever properly heal. He may-" Arthur swallowed, trying to get rid of the thick lump clogging up his throat. "Merlin may remain in a coma for the rest of his life."

"NO." Mordred shouted as a wave of complete despair filled his body. "He can't."

Arthur swallowed, trying to remain calm. He closed his eyes, hoping he could find some peace of mind and ignore the quavering chandelier above them. But that wasn't the only thing moving. The nearby chairs were rattling with fear and the decorations were shaking violently.

"Mordred." Arthur said firmly, opening his eyes and lowering himself to his young knight's level. "Calm down."

"How can I calm down?" Mordred said angrily, lifting his head and looking at Arthur with exasperation. Tears were rapidly flowing down his pale face and his eyes were bloodshot. "How can I do anything when it's all my fault?! What am I supposed to-"

Mordred was cut off when a loud crash filled the air. Glass sprayed the floor and Arthur turned away quickly, shielding his face. The floor shook and metal clanged.

"I'm sorry." Mordred whispered, shocked by his own powers and also scared by them. Blood accompanied the tears running down his face as he pulled a small glass shard out of his right cheek. "And I'm sorry if you want to kill me because of who I am. I was going to tell you."

"Mordred, I trust that you'd use your powers for nothing but good, and for those reasons you need to calm down. You don't want to hurt anyone." Arthur said slowly and softly, trying to reassure his youngest knight as best as he could.

Mordred nodded, wiping his eyes and trying to ignore his aching heart. He couldn't prevent his hands from shaking, or the tears from pouring down his face, but he felt less worried about being executed. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on something that would making him happy. An image of Merlin filled his head, grinning lopsidedly at him. The image made him happier, but his heart ached more, knowing that he may never see the kings manservant like that again.

"Who was she, Mordred? How did you know her?" Arthur asked quietly, trying not to upset the young knight again. He hadnt wanted to ask the question until everything was okay again, but he'd become unable to contain his curiosity.

"My friend." Mordred whispered, opening his eyes again. "Well, she was more than my friend. She was special to me and she always lived in my heart. Kara always had such a good heart, but I guess that changed." He sighed, wiping more tears from his cheeks. "We grew up together with the druids. I left her two years ago to go on a mission to fully understand my powers. That's when I got roped in with the bandits that worked for Morgana. And then, well you know the rest. When I saw her in the forest, I couldn't believe it was her and I certainly couldnt let her get caught. When she was caught, I couldn't bare the thought of her dying and I had to let her go. I thought I was in love." Mordred stopped and closed his eyes once more, letting the tears quickly flood down his face.

"But you weren't?"

"I only realised who I was truly in love with when I watched her hurt them. Merlin can't die. I wouldn't be able to deal with it." He whispered, covering his face and violently crying into his hands once more.

"Mordred..." Arthur said softly, putting his hand on his young knights shoulder and trying to help him remain calm. He wanted to say something reassuring like that Merlin would make it through this, but he couldn't promise that. "You could go to him..."

Mordred looked up at the king with big eyes. "But what if he's not okay?"

"Trust me, Mordred, he'd prefer it if you were with him."

/

I know this isn't much of a chapter, but I still hope you liked it :)