If Only
Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by Kubo Tite. I'm just a fan.
The song that inspired this chapter is David Cook's The Last Goodbye. It belongs to the rightful owners.
A/N: I actually updated. It's been ages! Anyway, this is actually a flashback (Gin's POV). Hmm, I'm thinking about putting a lot of flashbacks. Those regrets of the pair. So yeah, this is the part (episode 63) where Gin leaves Rangiku again. I really love this pairing. I hope it would never die.
Chapter 3 - The Last goodbye
You were holding my hand, your blade ready to slit my throat. You said that i should not move. I didn't. I wished i never had to move. Aizen was there, narrating his plan. I didn't care about it at all. I never cared anyway. All I cared about was you. I said I was a snake, devouring everything that comes in the way. I lied. I didn't want to kill anyway. I just wanted to achieve my goal, my goal for you. As Aizen talked, I stood still. I could smell your scent. That scent, which I kept on missing.
I could hear you breathe. I could hear your thoughts. Maybe, you're wondering why I am doing this. Maybe, just maybe, you were wondering how we did both turn up in a situation like this. And maybe, you were wondering if truly loved you. I wish I could answer all your questions but I fear it will all be unanswered. But please, don't think that these feelings are just pure pretenses. You don't know what I am doing.
Aizen was cornered by Yoruichi and Sui-feng. We were surrounded. Aizen smiled. The sky split open and countless Menos appeared. The Menos emit a Negacion. The light struck at my direction. Your reflexes told you to move away from me. I gasped. Why did you have to release me sooner than I needed? As you were moving away from me, I tried to reach you but to no avail. I looked back at you.
"It would have been nice if my capture lasted a little longer. Farewell, Rangiku. Sorry."
That moment, I frowned. I was sad, but still. I didn't know that was the last time I was going to say goodbye to you. I didn't know that was my last "sorry" to you.
I didn't want to lose you
Leave you with a broken heart
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye
I saw that pang of fear that struck you. 'Gin's going away' I saw a tear fall down from your eye. I wanted to go back to you and hug you but I couldn't. I was trapped. If only I could. If only. I could have. It could've been the turning point of my life. But no, I needed to go on. I needed to kill Aizen.
Oh, I didn't want to let you go
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye
Rangiku, you have all the right to hate me, to loathe me. I do not deserve to be loved by such a person like you. I'm sorry that I made you fall for such a person like me. I am a failure. We shouldn't even have met. But it's all fine now. I know someone is bound to love you more than how I love you. I know someone is bound to love you better than I do. You will be forever that we were never.
I looked at you for the last time. That would be my last memory of you. But how I wish we would have never parted. If only, the world wasn't like this. If only, our world was perfect. If only.
I am sad for myself but I am happy for you. At least you're days with the good for nothing Gin is over. At least you're going to meet the man for you. At least….
Goodbye Rangiku. I'm sorry. I truly am.
Belated Happy Death Anniversary to Gin Ichimaru. No, no, it's not happy. It's a freaking death anniversary. Rangiku, please be well. Endure the pain.
I hope Kubo tite will miraculously put in the manga that Gin is still alive. Pray!
Hello MasochisticHero
By the way, this chapter is less emotional than the earlier ones...