Hey! Just for future reference, I will probably update this story more often, only because there are three musicals, all three a total of nine hours. Please review and enjoy!

"Redvines!" Harry and Ron yelled.

"Boys." The girls said rolling their eyes.

Before them was a huge kitchen. It had beautiful, granite counters. There was cupboards and a large refrigerator filled with different food.

"How about I make everyone lunch?" Harry offered.

Harry went behind the counter and started to cook. He found an indoor grill and cooked a steak for everybody. He also made a couple of salads and some nice bread with butter. He repeatedly smacked Ron's hand away while he was cooking to keep him from eating it. Hermione set the table and Harry made fudge and put it in the oven so that it would be ready by the time everybody finished eating. They all sat down and ate (Yes, even those who had died, dead people can be hungry if they want to) Voldemort stayed in the living room and refused to join them, even when Dumbledore asked if he wanted to eat with them.

"Wow, Harry!" Ginny said. "Man you can cook!"

"I've had practice." Harry joked.

The oven went off and Harry retrieved the fudge. Everyone finished eating and Ron and Ginny did the dishes. Once they were done, everyone sat back down, but this time Ron sat on the end with Hermione next to him, Harry next to her, and Ginny at the other end. Dumbledore started the video.

Dumbledore: Yes, yes, yes welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts!

"Woo"

"Hogwarts!"

And a very special welcome to my favorite student Mr. Harry Potter

"Of corse Potter's your favorite student." Draco said.

"I have no favorites Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore responded.

killed Voldemort when he was just a baby he's even got that little lightning scar on his forehead to prove it.

Harry instinctively tried to cover up his scar.

And another very special welcome to our newest addition to Gryffindor Mr. Ginny…

"Excuse me!" Ginny yelled at the screen.

"Sorry Mrs. Weasley."

"It's okay, it's not you, it's the parody you."

excuse me Ms. Ginny Weasley.

"That's right."

Ginny: Yeah I'm a girl and um also aren't we supposed to be sorted by the uh, sorting hat

Dumbledore: Well um a funny thing happened to the sorting hat he actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing.

"What other piece? A cloak of invisibility?" Draco asked.

Everyone shrugged.

So he and the scarf of sexual preference

All the kids started laughing, the professors shook their heads, and Voldemort just scowled around at everyone.

"Or that." Draco said.

aren't going to be back until next year. Basically I've just been putting anyone who look like a good guy into Gryffindor anyone who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin and the other two can just go wherever the hell they want, I don't really care.

"I love it!" Ron said

"That's not appropriate." Hermione said

"Buzz kill." Ron said.

Hermione smacked him with a pillow.

Cedric: Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!

"Really?" Ron said.

"Since when?" Draco asked.

Dumbledore: What the hell is a Hufflepuff?

Everyone laughed, really hard.

Anyway it's time now for me to introduce my very good friend, our own potions Professor Mr. Severus Snape.

"OH MY GOD SNAPE!" Ron yelled.

Everyone laughed at the man on the screen.

Ron: Oh man not Snape I hope they fire that guy!

Ginny: Why? What's wrong with Professor Snape?

Ron: Uh nothing he's just uh EVIL!

"I have said a lot of things, but I don't think I've ever said evil." Ron said.

"A lot a of things?" Snape asked.

"But, not evil." Ron said.

Harry: Come on Ron he's really not that bad I don't know what you're talking about

"I would thank you, but knowing this musical that's probably a bad idea." Snape said.

"Okay. For the record, that is how I feel about you now." Harry said.

"Thank you," He paused pondering something. "Harry."

Snape: Harry Potter! Detention

"It's my first day!" Harry said.

"Do you remember what you did your second year." Snape asked.

"...No." Harry grinned. Snape rolled his eyes.

Harry: What?

Snape: For talking out of turn

Harry: (Under his breath) bummer

Snape: Now before we begin I'm going to give you all your very very first pop quiz. Can anyone tell me what a port key is? Oh yes Miss Granger

"It's second year. Had we even learned that yet?" Harry asked

"I don't know. Some pure-blood and half-blood people may have already know what they were at this point but the two of us probably didn't." Hermione said.

Hermione: A port key is an enchanted object that when touched will transport the one or ones who touch it to anywhere on the globe decided upon be the enchanter

"Could you have answered any faster?" Ron asked

Hermione just blushed.

Snape: A very good. Now can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Yes Miss Granger

Hermione: Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way

"That's our girl." Harry said.

"What is foreshadowing?" Ron asked.

"It's a muggle thing." Hermione said.

Snape: Perfect

Ron: What's a, what was a port key again I missed that one?

"You never listen." Hermione said.

Harry: Yeah what's a port key?

Ron: No not you UH!

Hermione: Oh! A port key is something that when you touch it, it will transport you anywhere

Snape: And remember a port key can be any sort of simply harmless object like a football or a dolphin

"Poor dolphin. If it touches a fish, who knows where it could end up." Ginny said. Hermione agreed and everyone else laughed a little.

Lavender: Professor. Can like a person be a port key?

Snape: No that's absurd! Cuz then if a person were to touch themselves… (Looks at Ron)

"That is perfect!" Ginny said while laughing. It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down.

they would constantly be transported to different places; a person can however be a horcrux

Harry: What's uh, what's a horcrux?

Harry, Ron, and Hermione each looked at each other and then back at the screen, Voldemort continued to scowl.

Snape: I'm not even going to tell you Harry you'll find out soon enough

Harry smiled a bit at their success with the Horcruxes.

Hermione: Professor what is the point of this quiz?

Snape: Oh no no no point in particular just important information that everyone should know especially you. Now moving right along there are four houses in all: Gryffindor

Gryffindor: WOO!

"Woo!" They yelled with the screen.

Snape: Ravenclaw

Ravenclaw: OW!

Snape: Hufflepuff

Cedric: FIND!

Snape: What? And Slytherin

Draco: Aaah!

Goyle: Sss

Draco opted for silence this time.

Snape: Now traditionally points are given for good behavior and deducted for rule breaking, example ten points from Gryffindor

Gryffindor: What?

"What?" Ron said.

"What did we do?" Harry asked.

Snape: For Miss Grangers excessive baby fat

Hermione glared at Snape, but he didn't notice.

Ron and Harry: Thanks Hermione!

Snape: Traditionally the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the house cup however this year we're doing things a bit differently. Here to introduce it is the new professor of the dark arts: Professor Quirrel

"Noooooooo..." Harry said.

Harry: Ow ow ow!

"You can tell I'm really in pain." Harry said sarcastically.

Hermione: Harry what's wrong?

Quirrel: The house cup a time-honored tradition, for centuries…

Draco: Go home terrorist

Everyone started laughing, really hard. Even Voldemort chuckled a little.

"Draco, why didn't you really say this?" Harry asked.

"I should have."

"It sounds like something you would do." Ginny said.

Quirrel: For centuries the four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honor and glory of holding the title of house champion but where does this competition come from and what are the roots of its tradition?

Hermione: The house cup tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students.

"I think that was rhetorical." Snape said quietly.

Quirrel: That was a rhetorical question

Snape nodded in agreement.

Dumbledore: Granger quit interrupting 20 points from Gryffindor!

Ron: Thanks Hermione

Quirrel: As I was saying, when the tournament first originated it was one of a completely different sort. One champion from each of the four houses would complete a series of dangerous tasks, challenges the winner would not only win the cup he would also win eternal glory

Hermione: Kinda like a house cup… Or no like a try-wizard tournament

"Oh no..." Harry said. Ginny hugged him and Ron and Hermione looked at him with sympathy and concern, remembering what happened during the triwizard tournament.

Quirrel: Yes, sort of like the Tri-Wizard tournament exept no, not like that at all… there are four houses. How can it be a Tri-Wizard tournament with four teams?

Everyone laughed a bit, still thinking about the real tournament.

Hermione: Well professor if I remember correctly the House Cup tournament was disbanded after one semester when one of its students was killed during the first task

Quirrel: Yes. It is very dangerous but the rewards far out way the risks

"She said somebody died... I don't like where this is headed." Harry said.

Hermione: I don't think you heard me I just said somebody died!

Dumbledore: Hermione Granger shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting 20 more points

Ron and Harry: Thanks Hermione!

Dumbledore: God! For the cleverest witch of your age you can really be a dumb ass sometimes

They laughed with the people on screen momentarily forgetting the tournament.

All: (laughing)

Dumbledore: Oh. 10 points to Dumbledore

More laughter here.

Quirrel: Yes, yes well it will be very dangerous but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. And as professor against the dark arts I believe this practical application is exactly what the curriculum needs to…

Turban (Voldemort): Achoo!

"Did his turban just sneeze?" Hermione asked.

Dumbledore: Did you turban just sneeze?

"Hermione's Dumbledore now." Ginny said.

Quirrel: W-what? No

Dumbledore: I could've sworn I heard a sneeze coming from your direction but your mouth wasn't moving

Quirrel: No that, that was simply a fart excuse me

"Wow." Everyone laughed at the stupidity of the situation.

Turban (Voldemort): Achoo!

Quirrel: I must be going. I simply farted once more excuse me (Insert laugh here.)

(Quirrel leaves)

Dumbledore: Moving along. From the newly resurrected house cup a champion from each house will be selected to compete so Snape, would you do us the honors please?

Snape: Yes headmaster. First from the Ravenclaw house: Miss Cho Chang

Cho: Oh my god I won! I can't believe they called me!

Snape: Uh next from Hufflepuff: Mr Cedric Diggory

Harry looked down. Ginny tried to comfort him.

Cedric: Well I don't find this surprising at all!

"Oh the find jokes." Draco said.

Cho: I find it perfect now I get to spend more time with my beloved boyfriend

Cedric: I'm glad as well my darling

Snape: Uh next from the Slytherin house: a Draco Malfoy

"Seriously?" Harry said.

"What, I can't be a champion too?" Draco asked.

"If you take all the attention away from me, yet keep people from being rude to me then sure, you can be a champion." Harry said.

"Fair enough." Draco said, surprising a couple of people.

Draco: Oh! I finally beat you didn't I Potter? What do you think of that? I'm the champion this time!

Dumbledore: Draco would you sit down you little shit! Champion's just a title

Everyone except Draco laughed at that.

Snape: And finally from the Gryffindor house: Oh my well isn't this curious, the one person in all of Hogwarts whom I have a well known grudge against is suddenly in a tournament well he may very well lose his life

"I wonder who that could be..." Ron said with a side long look at Harry.

Neville: If it's me I'll apologize in to my fellow Gryffindor's right now for losing

"Not who I had in mind." Ron said.

"We realize." Draco said.

Snape: Sit down you inarticulate bubble. It's Harry Potter

"Of corse it is." Harry said.

Ron: WOOH! WOOH! WOOH! WOOH! WOOH!

Dumbledore: Well there are folks, the four Hogwarts champions now I want you all you to start preparing immediately because the first task is in two months and it could be anything… so let's get to it! Ha ha!

Ravenclaw: Cho Chang! Cho Chang! Cho Chang!

Draco: Malfoy! Malfoy… Hey!

"Poor ferret." Ron said.

"When will the ferret jokes stop?" Draco asked.

"Never."

"Weasel."

"Ferret."

Hermione turned to Ginny and said "I wonder if they realize that they're taunting each other with animals from the same family." Harry heard as well and they all laughed. Ron and Draco looked at them, but they just shook their heads.

"Next scene?" Ginny asked. Ron looked at her suspiciously and then nodded slowly.

"Okay then. Let's do it."