A/N: Hey! Okay, I am so very sorry for taking so long on this next chapter. I swear my life has been totally nuts. Not to mention I was also having a writer's block. It kind of sucked, so I started playing DAO again and managed to find it. All thanks to that five second greeting with Cullen in the beginning and the sad moment inside of the cage. Sigh, sigh. So like I said, had a bit of a writers block. OH! And the whole thing with Hawke and her family? I know when I started to write this I got all twisted up in the Wiki and had a moment of dumbness. And I was very lazy and didn't feel like going back through and changing everything. So her real name, birth name is Estellise Hawke. So when she was left at the bridge leading to the Tower she accepted the last name of Amell and thus is how she became Amell. But I hope all of you enjoyed that little introduction of Marian and her siblings. As always, enjoy and well enjoy! And please, review! I enjoy reading your words about the story! Thank you! :)

DISCLAIMER: Characters are owned by Bioware!

The moment Lothering came into view, my heart had literally stopped. I stood at the brink of the one place I promised I would never come too. I knew better. Or I should have known better. My brother wouldn't be happy to see me. Nor would his wife of so many years. The truth is, no one knows of him. No one knows that I have a sibling and he has a family. Because I changed my last name, took his wife's maiden name for my own.

But I will never tell anyone this. For there is no point. I am Estellise Amell, that is all the world will ever see me as.

On the way out of the wilds we came across a lone mabari. It was the same one I had helped back in Ostagar. Surprisingly he was still alive. Though the only good he did was bring a herd of Darkspawn towards us.

The others wanted him to leave. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave.

I enjoyed his company. It was almost natural.

"Lothering, as pretty as a painting." Alistair sighed as we had just finished dispatching the bandits and came to the very edge of the long road.

"Alistair?" Cullen questioned. The two of them had become close over the past few days we had been traveling. It was almost natural for two Templars to find some type of thing to relate too. It was almost nice.

"So you've finally decided to join us," Morrigan's voice had such venom in it. She really didn't like him.

Nor did she care for Cullen either.

She doesn't even give me a second glance. But I think apart of her wants to talk to me. I don't know why.

Instead I ignore their banters between each other. My hand touching my Mabari's head. He purred under my fingers. His fur was so warm, so friendly.

"Estelle, what do you think?" Morrigan's voice cut above my daydreaming.

"I don't care." I mumble, my fingers burying themselves in his fur. He didn't say anything but he sighed. It was comforting.

"Don't care she says!" I don't bother with being hurt by Morrigan's angry tone. She wants my opinion on everything but I don't bother with ever telling anyone. What's the point.

"Go into town, find us a place to sleep and supplies." Cullen had already reached into the crevice of his chest plate. A small bag of coins in his hands dangled before me.

"And if I can't find us a place to sleep?" I question. Obviously this place was going to be jam packed with refugees.

"Then we'll just have to set up camp somewhere." He said with such an easy smile, that I can't help but to return it.

"Okay." I take the bag of coins and head into the small village.

After hours on end of myself, Hades (yes, I finally managed to name him) and a few merchants. I was able to get us some supplies. They were both very helpful, after I told the Chantry Sister to back off. That the man had a right to his own merchandise and how he sold it. I of course got the most nastiest glare from the Sister but it didn't seem to phase me much.

Chantry were such snobs, sometimes.

"I uh… can't carry all of that." I look down to the large pile of equipment and supplies. Hades sighed, sitting down on his haunches next to me.

"You know, maybe I should just look for a wagon or something." I sigh softly to myself, my hand rubbing the back of my neck. Worrisome was not a feeling I was really enjoying.

"Estelle?" A deep husky voice from behind brought me out of my stupor. "Estelle is that really you?" The question was obviously directed towards myself.

I turn around slowly.

"Gregory?" The name surprisingly left my lips so easily.

"By the maker, it really is you!" Before I could say anything else, my brother's large arms are around me. His head resting against the top of my own. My face pressed into his chest. "I never thought…" He muttered into my hair.

"Dad, Bethany won't shut…" A husky female voice seemed to have ruined our little reunion.

"Dad?" Came another two voices at the same time.

"Whose that?" My brother's arms tightened around me. My own arms wrapped themselves around his chest. Burying my face into his chest. I let out a small sigh. It was so comforting. So familiar. So warm.

"This is your Aunt, Marian." Marian? That would mean…

He lets go of me. Taking a few steps back, to take me in as he brings us around to face his three children.

Maker they all looked alike.

"Marian, Carver, Bethany… this is your Aunt Estelle." He smiled, big enough to stretch all across his lips.

"You said she was at the Circle." Bethany spoke in utter disbelief.

"Why aren't you at the Circle?" It suddenly occurred to him. "You shouldn't be here. Not with the Blight."

"I… well, it's a long story." I sigh looking at the four of them.

"Fine then, how about we have some lunch and you can share it then?" He grips my shoulders tightly.

"That sounds wonderful. But only if my friend can come along as well." I look down to the smiling mabari sitting quietly beside me. He seemed to be taking all of this as if it was nothing. Sometimes I wish I could switch places with him.

"You have a mabari?" Marian's brow quirked. Damn she was like her dad, so much so.

"Yeah, well that's apart of the story too." I let out an uneasy laugh.

"Cullen, I have no idea where she went." Alistair groaned over the vicious banter between Sten and Leliana. The newest members of their group.

"She couldn't have gone far." Cullen muttered to himself. His gaze shifting over all the forms in the encampment surrounding Lothering. "The merchants around here said they dealt with a woman fitting her description."

"You don't think Loghain's men…" Alistair's weight shifted uneasy. He didn't want to even think about what could have happened.

"Doubtful." Morrigan's voice cut above their own thoughts. "The Bard said she wasn't in the tavern."

"Point taken." Cullen sighed. Morrigan sometime spoke reason above all else. Except when she disapproved of everything. Which seemed like she did that all the time.

"Then we'll have to do it the old fashion way." Alistair started down the steps, leading back into Lothering.

"Do what the old fashion way?"

They all had turned as if by will. She was standing there, quietly behind the three of them. Her mabari sitting quietly at her heels. He shouldn't have been so worried. Not with that blasted beast following her everywhere she went. But he was. The Chantry never once explained how to quell his emotions. And now, now he was feeling things that he never once felt before.

But it was her refreshing smile upon her lips, that made his worry die down. She seemed all right.

"Estellise?" Alistair's shocked voice cut above the groups banter.

"Where were you?" Morrigan's worried tone shocked even Cullen.

"I was looking for a wagon and some animals to pull it." She smiled, there was a certain air about her now. Even he picked up on it.

"Did you find one?" She looked to Alistair. Whom was smiling a fool.

There was that certain feeling deep within Cullen that he started to hate. She shouldn't be smiling like that, not with Alistair.

"Yes," she said simply. "I also set up camp not too far from here."

How did she manage to do that by herself? It was nearly dark out.

"Good." He didn't mean to use such a dark tone when he spoke but it brought her dark gaze upon him. "I'll… uh take you guys there."

She turned on them, but not before she gave him a reassured smile.

It wasn't far from where the main highway, but it was at least concealed. The small clearing had a few tents set up, a nice sized fire going. Food was even cooking over it. She really couldn't have done this herself.

She was from the tower. What little outdoors training she had was when both him, Duncan and her were traveling to Ostagar. And that was very little.

"I'm starving." Alistair groaned making his way into the camp.

"I'm going to eat… away from the rest of you." Morrigan made her way to the very edge of the camp. It seemed Amell knew that Morrigan wouldn't want to be with them. And had set up a site just away from the rest of the group.

"There is a lake in that direction. And I got some directions for Redcliffe. Though I think we should go to the Tower first. But that's up to you guys." Reaching into a pocket amongst her robes, she had managed to procure a map as well.

Impressive.

After an hour of quiet discussions, sharing dinner and debating on who would be taking watch. Cullen had finally managed to relax for a few minutes.

He was thrown into the position of the group's leader. He didn't want to be in this position. In fact he didn't like the idea of making all these choices.

He weighed the oppositions. Alistair could be the leader, but it was like he enjoyed being told what to do. Though he was really their senior in all the matters of being wardens. It did make the most sense. Estelle, he sighed looking over to her quiet form. The fire light danced all around her quiet features. They were so serene. She seemed almost at peace for some reason.

She refused being in charge. Even though Morrigan tried to push her into the role. She had said she wasn't fit to lead. Not to mention the rest of the country's fear of magic. It only made sense.

Then she started to laugh. It was cheerful, happy. She was laughing, her arms around her waist as she sat there.

Cullen's gaze followed her own to Alistair having an argument with that damnable hound that found them. It seemed he was losing. But what was being said, he couldn't hear over Amell's laughter.

She had gotten up after catching her breath. Moving to sit next to Alistair. Her hand sparked with a light blue haze as she reached for his own hand. Something inside of Cullen twitched. He wanted to shout. To get her attention but he would be selfish.

"You like her." The Orlesian accent hit his ears, the soft gentle voice belonged to Leliana.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He stretched his arms above his head. Estelle was laughing again. He didn't need to look over there to know what was going on between Alistair and her was more intimate than he would approve of.

"You do know what I'm talking about." She had already taken a seat next to him. A lute in her hands, strumming it quietly. He had forgotten she was a bard.

"You like her." She repeated again.

She was right. Even if he didn't want to admit it. He had liked her since he first came to the Tower. He had liked her from the moment he saw her smile. He heard her laugh.

"You have been watching her this entire time." He smiled a little when he heard Leliana's truth.

Maybe the bard was worth the risk of adding to their group, he thought to himself.

"He is a war dog, Alistair." I laugh quietly. Finishing up the healing spell upon his hand.

"I know, I just…" He sighed letting me heal his hand.

"You just didn't think, yes?" I find myself laughing again. He smiled this time, turning to meet my own gaze.

He wasn't so bad looking, I thought. Especially when he gave me that sheepish smile. "Yes." He replied which made me smile.

"You're fine now." I move to let go of his hand but he keeps it locked within his own. He seemed torn, lost in something. I let him keep my hand, if it would help.

"I… I… I'm sorry." He spoke just above a whisper.

"Sorry for what?" I ask but I know why he was sorry. He had been quiet the whole time out of the wilds. He took his anger, his aggression out on Morrigan. He spoke mostly to Cullen, never saying more than a few words towards myself. Though it didn't bother me. I was still in shock of what has happened.

"For being so quiet." I smile, wrapping my other hand around our own interlocked. His hand was coarse, warm. "I was just thinking."

"About Duncan?" I ask. His eyes look away from mine. Sadness etched across his face.

"I feel like I failed him. Like I should have been the one who died instead of him." My hands tighten on his. My body even moved closer to him, I don't know what made me do this. But maybe it was because of the look in his eyes. All that sadness shouldn't be there.

"You didn't fail him." I whisper. "You have the chance to save Ferelden. You have a chance to make everything he died for a reality. It's up to you and us. But mainly," I rest my head on his shoulder. He didn't seem bothered by it but it was enough of a comfort for the two of us. "It's up to you."

"Thanks." He laughed.

"You're welcome." I laugh in return.

"You didn't know much about him, did you?" I shake my head, closing my eyes after I catch a small glance towards Cullen. He was busy in conversation with Leliana.

"He said he was Highever." His head fell resting upon my own. "Maybe once this is over with, I'll go there. Give him a proper burial."

"If you'd like, maybe I'll go with you." I yawn through my words.

"I'd like that. And I think he'd like that." He yawned in return.

I sit up, stretching my arms in front of me. Alistair seemed content after our little conversation. Though I know it will take time for him to heal. We all had to have our time take all of this in. Alistair more so than the rest of us.

"I think I'll go take a swim and then I'll go to bed." Standing up, I pat his shoulder. "Will you be okay?" I ask, not sure if I should. But he looks up to me, a smile on his lips but it didn't exactly reach his eyes. "I'll be fine."

It wasn't exactly the reassured response I was looking for but it was enough.

The lake wasn't too far from us. But it was a small one, barely noticeable enough to put on any sort of map. Only way I found it was because of Marian. She was nice enough to show it to me before we parted ways.

I was impressed though. She was smart, talented with magic and so strong willed. She hadn't asked me any questions. She didn't want to know why I had her mother's maiden name and not the same as her own. Not to mention, the fact we're the same age. It was a little weird. But she was nice enough to spend sometime showing me how to set up camp, how to keep a fire going and even how to hook up a fishing pole.

Though I got the feeling the moment she hugged me and said good-bye, that it would be our last.

In the moonlight, the lake looked so calm.

Stripping out of my robes, all my gear falling into a nice neat pile beside my feet. Hades had already laid down in a comfortable spot next to my things. A yawn leaving his giant maw, as he leaned down to lick his paws contently.

"Bark if anyone comes near."

He gives me such a lazy look that I wonder how a mabari can be so frightening sometimes.

The last items to go was my small-clothes, tossing them on the pile I wade into the lake.

Surprisingly it wasn't as cold as I thought it'd be. But it was still soothing. Washing away my thoughts, I dip down under the water. Letting it cover me, as I hold my breath. My eyes closed shut.

The image of his brother and his family floated into my vision. They were so happy. They had a thing in Lothering despite the fact they hid their magic right under the noses of the Templars.

It wasn't until I was nearly out of breath that movement in the water rushed towards me. I rush towards the surface, only to emerge. Locking eyes with Cullen as he was already swimming in my direction. Worry etched his normally calm eyes.

"Cullen?" I say his name but it doesn't register until he is nearly a foot away from me.

"You were under there…" He was out of breath but he was surprisingly unaware of the fact he was wearing clothes and I wasn't.

"Um…" I give him a nervous look. "Cullen?"

"What?" He blinks but I sigh to myself. I wasn't going to bother with covering myself up, since well I could probably drown. I was no near the shallow end of the lake.

"I'm uh…" I can't seem to get the words out.

"You're…" He looks down. The water wasn't exactly hiding anything from him.

Suddenly he goes red. It was almost charming, in an innocent sort of way. "I… uh… I… I'll… just go." He was already swimming back so fast that I couldn't even register how quickly he was.

I blinked watching him wade out of the water. But he stopped moving. He stood there, on the bank dripping. Soaking wet from his panicked rush into the water.

He was debating with himself.

But why?

I dip under the water and start back to the shore.

I keep myself under the water until my feet hit the ground and just as I emerge to the surface of the water. He was still standing there. His back to me, his fists balled up at his sides and his head dipped down.

A quiet bark. A greeting from Hades was enough to let Cullen know that I was behind him.

"Are you alright?" I ask, keeping myself at least out of eye sight within the water.

"No." He said, his voice darker than I have heard from him before.

"May I ask why?" His shoulders shutter.

"I… just need sometime." I look to Hades, the mabari seemed to pick up on something because he gave a soft whine.

"Cullen…" I move out of the water slowly.

I have always had feelings for him. Since the moment we started spending time together. Duncan urged our friendship, but it wasn't until I was nursing him back to health in the small hut. The way he would fall in and out of sleep. The way his lips would part when he was breathing. Even the moment when he first woke up, he smiled. Truly he was very good looking.

"Cullen…" I was behind him. My feet were taking those steps towards him. I didn't even know what I was doing.

Words were useless the moment he turned around. He took a deep breath, uneasiness flowed through us but it wasn't until he closed the distance. His arms around my waist. His fingers digging in my back. His eyes had darkened, his lips had parted. I had no idea what was going through his mind. Nor did I wonder.

His head had dipped. His lips had parted even more, capturing my mouth with his own. His body pressed against my own. His hands running up and down my back, locking with the tips of my hair.

His lips pressed against mine, putting more urgency into the kiss. My arms moved on their own. Wrapping themselves around his neck, digging my fingers into his hair. Pulling him closer to me.

He broke the kiss suddenly. Taking a deep unwavering breath, I stare up to him. His light eyes sparkle a little before something crosses them.

"I'm… I'm… I don't know…" He stammered just above a whisper. "I don't know what came over me."

I want to tell him that it's okay. That everything is forgiven. But the words can't seem reach my lips.

He broke away. His hands leaving their marks upon my body. Suddenly I am well aware of being nude and still dripping from my swim in the lake.

Before I could do anything - say anything he left. Leaving me behind, alone and in the dark.

"Cullen…" His name leaves my lips but the only one who heard it was Hades. His small whine brought me back to reality.

Grabbing some soaps from my pouch, I wade back into the water and finish what I had started.