The Strawberry and The Fishcake

by Uncle Joe

Formely The Maelstorm and the Guardian renamed. Naruto Bleach Crossover. Naruto continuing on centuries after his love ones have died decides to spice up his existence by walking in a new world and which world is that, why Bleach of course. Harem lemons..

3. Chapter 3

Written and Directed by Uncle Joe

Editor: ChaosDriver who gladly stood in for Dirty Reid who is on holiday.

MERRY CHRISTMAS BOYS AND GIRLS SINCE I HAVE NO MONEY I'D FIGURED I'D TRY TO ENTERTAIN YOU WITH A NEW CHAPTER RATHER THAN A CHRISTMAS PRESENT HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!.

I'll say this now so no one will miss it. Sadly I can not think of a conceivable way for Naruto characters to turn up in this fic other than Naruto and Kyuubi. However there is an idea I'm, working on that will show A single character but they won't have a great affect on anything other than Naruto's self view.

Also other issues to be Addressed. Naruto's power level and why it's small will be addressed in this chapter.

NURAMON- You suggested that Naruto's Zanpukuto was already in shikai since it's in two swords and I totally understand where you're coming from. However he has yet to achieve it. Two of the captains have dual swords; one gets the dual swords from shikai while the other already has the dual swords in pre-release…that is just like Naruto.

This chapter will also begin to focus more on Naruto. You'll begin to see more of the story from his point of view, so he'll need certain basic things explained to him. He wasn't there to see what happened to the others after all.

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Naruto grinned to himself in the mirror; Urahara had finally gotten around to getting him a bucket hat. It went well with his current white and black outfit. He looked over his shoulder at the sleeping Yoruichi and a brown haired female teenager who had to be about eighteen. Urahara had commented the other day that Yoruichi was apparently experimenting to see if gigai could get pregnant. He had been smacked through a wall for his troubles. Although Naruto had to admit, they where acting like a pair of teenagers when it came to sex.

Last night it had been a little different though.

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Yoruichi sat on Naruto's kitchen counter sweaty and flushed.

"Why don't we try something different Naruto?"

"Alright, I'll go buy a karma sutra." Yoruichi smirked and shook her head.

"Nooo, I want you…" she paused for effect placing a hand on his bare chest with a playful smirk on her lips "…to go out and bring back another woman!"

Naruto's jaw hit the floor, he certainly hadn't expected that.

"W-wha?" he stuttered in surprise "Uhm…yeah, okay."

Yoruichi watched him leave with a pleased smile; this was going to be fun!

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If he had to be honest with himself, he had to say that he didn't really care about the extra chore he had to perform last night. It had been fun, fulfilling, relaxing and good exercise. He looked over his shoulder as Yoruichi stretched out and his eyes shined when he heard her give off a little whine, protesting against his missing warmth.

The second girl simply slept on.

Yoruichi's eyes fluttered open and she spotted him still in the room, she gave him one of those saucy grins of hers she knew he loved so much. Naruto was everything she had ever wanted in a man; brave, strong and good in the bedroom. She had been greatly disliked by most of her clan growing up, her mother being the only exception. The elder Shihouin woman had practically given birth to a clone of herself, they were so alike in personality. A woman who was wild and rebellious in a clan that was generally calm peaceful and unassuming, due to this Yoruichi had not been able to find a man that fit exactly what she was searching for until now.

A powerful and strong willed warrior who was also kind and caring and compassionate, she had expected to never find the man she was looking for. A man of opposites; caring and compassionate to all, yet ruthless and utterly unforgiving to those who truly could not be redeemed while playful and serious when appropriate. Dominating yet submissive when it called for it, she couldn't help but smirk at that last thought. Naruto could utterly dominate her in all things even in a fight if it truly came down to it, yet when she wanted him to submit he would simply submit because that's what she wanted.

The one thing she had always looked for but never found in any of her sexual partners was the ability to keep up with her. Naruto had blown her out of the water with that one; he could fuck her till she passed out. He'd done so on one occasion when she'd mocked him about it. She couldn't find the will in her to regret it.

There however was one quality that the cat woman had never looked for but found in Naruto that made her believe she could fall in love with him. He approached everything with an almost child like wonder, it didn't matter if he'd done it before everything was fun and exciting to him. This added a whole new aspect to her sex life with the world traveler. She knew as a shinigami who could live for thousands of years that sex lives where non existent among older couples, as there was nothing new they could do.

Naruto was different, everything even if they had done the same before he approached with a passion interest and dedication as if it where their first time. Yoruichi suddenly realized one thing above all else, even if she didn't love him she knew that she would never have nor ever want another lover than the blonde haired fox.

Naruto cocked his head to the side as Yoruichi spaced out. It was odd for her. He shook his head to help clear his thoughts; he had to get to school.

"I gotta go Yoruichi, I'll see you later." he shot a look at the second, still sleeping woman "Say thanks to Mizuho for me for the great night!"

Yoruichi sighed with a bit of frustration and amusement "Kisuke wants some help with the newest crackpot scheme he came up with later, so I don't know when I'll be back"

"Hmm…" Naruto mumbled in thought "Ok, I'll see you whenever then." he pouted a bit before it brightened in a mischievous grin "Have fun! Ja!"

"Ja!"

Naruto left and began to leisurely stroll towards school. While walking he decided to devote some serious brain power and time to some questions that had been bugging him for a while now. Like what did that world traveling jutsu really do and why didn't he have as much Reiatsu as he had Charka? Also, why the hell did Kyuubi still have charka?

He immediately put his body on autopilot while he shot these questions at the only person he figured would know.

Kyuubi was a bit startled by these questions. She herself had completely forgotten to explain everything in detail, when she should have.

She cleared her throat; she was going to be talking for a while.

"Well the simple reason as to why I have Chakra is because unlike you I have something in common with this world, hell I have something in common with ALL worlds in existence."

"And that would be..?"

"Hell is the same everywhere" the kitsune answered simply.

Naruto nodded, that made sense but something was still nagging at him. "What about soul society isn't that heaven?"

"Not really." the Kyuubi disagreed "It's not true heaven; my guess would be that once something truly dies in this world it gets sent to heaven."

He nodded in understanding "Ok I understand now, but what about Reiatsu?"

"It's simple really Chakra is the essence of life, Reiatsu the essence of death or your spirit. It's so completely different that your control is shot to hell. The reason you have a lot less than you think you should have is simple." she gave him a smirk "Try moving it about."

Naruto did and muttered to himself as he worked.

"Its harder to move …thicker almost…thicker means more potent…Of COURSE!." he yelled in triumph "Reiatsu has got to be at least twenty times more potent than Chakra, so if I have all my Chakra compressed into one twentieth of what it used to be I get my current level. Yet with your Chakra being converted to Reiatsu I should grow at an exponential rate like I used to."

"I knew you could figure it out Naruto-kun." she praised him "Finally the world transfer jutsu was something we both cooked up, remember? It was a bastardized version of the summoning technique for both demons and the shinigami with my own special twist." she paused a little to let it sink in "That twist is the technique demons use to move from hell to a world and back again, though this is from world to world. Or universe to Universe if you prefer."

"Oh…ok…I guess that explains everything, if I come across anymore questions I'll be sure to ask you." Naruto muttered with a sense of everything finally clicking into place.

"No problem, oh you're at school already." the Kyuubi's words caused him to return to the world.

He nodded as he stopped spacing out. Little did he know that today would be another really weird day.

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Naruto arrived a little late to lunch, just in time to see Rukia staring bewildered at a juice carton and Chad explaining why he was bandaged up.

Naruto stared; he had been damm lucky to catch himself from mentioning Yoruichi when the bird started to talk. This was strange; he could tell right away it wasn't a shinigami or a hollow. He decided to question Rukia, the more knowledgeable person on shinigami matters. Yoruichi would probably shunt the question to Urahara who would experiment on the bird.

He overheard Rukia answering both his and Ichigo's unasked questions

He sat down and stared at the bird for a few seconds before Keigo asked a question.

"So Naruto when you next going to pull a prank?" Rukia and Ichigo stiffened at Naruto's sadistic grin.

"Well I got an idea, it'll take some slight of hand and a cool magic trick but I reckon I could do it. Hey Ichigo" Ichigo tensed "When I turn back up and you'll know it's me introduce me as your cousin who just transferred in."

Ichigo nodded slowly, still having no idea what was going on. Naruto leapt to his feet and ambled out of sight. A few minutes later Orihime, Tatsuki, Chizuru and the rest of the girls' group arrived on the roof.

They settled down into a conversation when someone else turned up on the roof. Ichigo's jaw hit the floor, no way this was who he thought it was. Long legs, voluptuous body heart shaped face. Full lips deep soulful blue eyes and silky blonde hair, the new and beautiful girl walked up to the group and smiled sweetly at them.

"Hello I'm Naruko" she said in an almost musical voice.

Ichigo swallowed and found his voice, the girls had assumed that the reason the boys where frozen was because she was pretty. Chizuru a loud and proud lesbian was drooling at the sight of the girl.

"She's my cousin" everyone looked at him when he said it and Chad and Keigo got in on the act.

Chad nodded as if he just confirmed something "I remember you said she was transferring here"

Keigo approached her and in his usual loud voice exclaimed "Your so beautiful, will you go out with me?"

Naruko smiled and blushed lightly and in a quiet voice said "I'm sorry I don't like guys" Chizuru gasped and Keigo turned away crying. Ichigo wasn't sure if Keigo realized what was going on till he saw the sly smile on his lecherous friends face.

Chizuru sidled up next to Naruko. "A-are, a-are you a lesbian?"

Naruko nodded shyly.

Chizuru moved and kissed her full on the lips. The entire groups eyes widened in shock as Chizuru bowled this new girl over in a full and passionate lip lock. She pulled back panting and blushing "I-I'm sorry I don't know what came over me"

"It's, Ok." Everything froze over. Naruko's voice was now deep and masculine and frighteningly familiar.

POOF

The sudden explosion of smoke sent Chizuru reeling backwards. The smoke cleared revealing Naruto with a self satisfied smile on his face. He grinned widely.

"You're a pretty good kisser Chizuru"

The boys doubled over in laughter while Rukia had trouble suppressing a giggle, they didn't know how he did it but he had. Chizuru's eyes widened in horror her face went white as a sheet before she passed out.

Naruto roared with laughter as the girls recovered from their shock and giggled. "How did you do that Naruto?"

"Magic" Orihime gasped then squealed like a little girl before asking Naruto to perform other magic tricks. He did so but only minor slight of hand like a flower out of his sleeve or something else.

Someone else arrived on the roof. "Keigo, you forgot your lunch."

"Oh thanks Mizuho." Naruto stiffened. This time Ichigo was the only one to notice that Naruto's face had drained of color as he slowly turned and faced Keigo's sister. He made a choking sound that drew everyone's attention. Ichigo really knew something was up when Mizuho gasped then blushed crimson.

Keigo frowned, his friend Naruto and his sister where acting kind of strange. The ever present perverted part of his brain which took up twice as much brain power as in a usual man, which meant a total of fifty percent of his total brain power was dedicated to perverseness. That large part of his brain made a connection then it clicked.

All eyes turned to Keigo as he stammered.

"Y-y-y-y-y-you….YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER?!" Jaws dropped and Naruto seemed to shrink under scrutiny. Tatsuki stood up eyes blazing. She advanced on the cowering Naruto.

"I thought you said you had a girlfriend?" Mizuho spoke finally ignoring her shocked brother.

"Hey leave him alone it was his girlfriend's idea." jaws that had just been picked up hit the floor again.

Tatsuki's rage burned brighter "You mean to say your girlfriend told you to go out pick up a random girl and sleep with her and it just happened to be Keigo's older sister?"

Naruto cringed. "Well not exactly."

Keigo who was still recovering from the fact a friend of his had slept with his sister who had said she was spending the night at a friends didn't care that Naruto's girlfriend was involved. That was until he picked up the "not exactly" he heard it, deciphered it and it registered.

Ichigo watched in amusement as Naruto was just about to be torn apart by an irate Tatsuki. The girl just wouldn't admit she was attracted to him, hell even he could see that. His amusement stopped when Keigo gave a shrill scream blushing beat red and fainted.

"What's wrong with him now?"

Chad coughed as if clearing his throat and ignored the frantic and threatening gestures Naruto was making in his direction. The gestures became more complicated until Chad got the impression that Naruto was going to shove something very long and very big where it wasn't supposed to go.

"I believe Keigo realized that not only did Naruto sleep with Mizuho but so did his girlfriend."

Mizuho gasped and passed out next to her brother. The girls where blushing heavily and staring at nothing. Orihime was eating…something, happily oblivious to what's going on around her. Tatsuki ignoring and suppressing her blush at the thought of being with Naruto AND another woman turned to find he was gone. A dust cloud vaguely resembling him in shape the only sign he had ever even been there.

Rukia appeared to be caught between amusement at Ichigo's obvious discomfort and a mild amount of disgust at Naruto's apparent sexual habits. She had met people as old or older than the blonde but they weren't that lecherous. Her amusement and disgust faded away to embarrassment when she caught a furtive glance by a blushing Ichigo to her then to Orihime.

She blushed and looked away. It was all Naruto's fault; if he didn't keep suggesting that something was going on between her and Ichigo she wouldn't find herself so uncomfortable when she knew he was changing in his room. It was his fault when she walked in on him half undressed and had drooled.

Yep, totally Naruto's fault.

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Naruto was walking with Ichigo to his house. He almost never had dinner during a school day at his apartment, it was generally at Ichigo's or Orihime place. He was just as confused as Ichigo when Karin rushed past in an awful hurry.

Yuzu walked up to them carrying a box full of items "Welcome home Ichigo, hello Naruto"

Naruto waved while Ichigo spoke up "So what's got you both so worked up?"

"There was an accident, a big car wreck down at the corner." Naruto and Ichigo shared a look before hearing Isshin shouting into a phone. He was apparently trying to get hospital beds for the injured as his small clinic couldn't handle the influx.

"Uhm, hey dad" Isshin swore under his breath ignoring Ichigo "So…uhm…is there anything I can do?"

"No, just assume the fetal position and stay out of the way." Ichigo face faulted while Naruto held in a chuckle.

Ichigo settled into a crouch in an out of the way corner. Naruto ambled over to him. "Hey wanna play cards?"

A few minutes later Ichigo was swearing like a sailor, he wished he hadn't bet his allowance in this game. Naruto was grinning like a Cheshire cat as he raked in the money.

"Hey Dad we got this one last patient that needs treatment" it was Yuzu. They heard Isshin mutter something about the guy's size.

"Ichigo, Naruto come here and get to work." they where on their feet in a second and rounded the corner the next. Both froze at the sight that greeted them, a badly hurt Chad. Naruto rushed over and in a feat that made everyone but Ichigo's jaw dropped lifted Chad with a single hand and deposited him on an empty bed.

As Isshin checked him over Naruto and Ichigo watched the bird and Chad alternatively. Karin was also staring at the bird. Naruto's eyes widened in surprise when Chad tried to leave and fainted from blood loss.

A few minutes later Naruto sat on Ichigo's windowsill having pretended to leave to Ichigo's family already, while Rukia discussed what she had felt.

"The bird isn't evil and is most likely harmless, but the burn on Chad's back reeks of hollow." the trio talked a little more until Naruto realized everything was over and he left.

Rukia and Ichigo settled down in the closet and bed respectively.

Naruto, once he was sure they where asleep, crept back in by the window. He first pulled down Ichigo's bed sheet. Unfortunately Ichigo was a light sleeper.

"Wha?" Naruto chopped him on the neck knocking him out. Naruto had an easier time with Rukia. He opened the closer and lifted her small form out, then with a slight difficulty in getting her into the right position set her down on Ichigo's chest. Naruto watched in amusement as she murmured then snuggled deeper into the replacement shinigami's chest. Ichigo by pure instinct and reflex wrapped an arm around her in his unconscious state. Naruto lifted the blanket and draped it over the two of them.

He giggled quietly as he took out a camera and snapped off a couple of shots. He snickered in the silence as he left. He was good. Hell he was the best.

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Later that night Ichigo woke up, he dismissed the shadow that hit him as a weird dream and attributed the ache in his neck to sleeping awkwardly and he went back to sleep. He never noticed the light weight on his chest.

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Naruto snuck back into Ichigo's room just before dawn. They were still asleep but the position was more provocative. Rukia had turned over in her sleep she was now lying with her back on Ichigo's chest. Her head however was buried in the orange haired boy's neck. Ichigo's hand was under her shirt dangerously close to her breasts.

Naruto grinned, he had gotten the pictures from last night printed then borrowed a Polaroid camera from Urahara so he could print off the blackm…pictures faster.

Naruto raised the camera and took a single shot. The flash woke up Rukia.

Rukia woke up groggily, her bed was a lot warmer than usual and it was also a lot harder. She sighed and realized her lips where pressed against the wall…she frowned and licked her lips. Since when did walls sweat and taste faintly of strawberries. She pursed her lips again and touched the wall…since when did they have pulses too.

Her eyes widened in horror as she realized what exactly her lips where pressed against. She sat up with a shriek. She then noticed she was in Ichigo's bed sitting on him. She shrieked again thankfully neither where loud enough to go further than the room, something was different. She growled when she spotted Naruto leaning against the wall tears of mirth streaming down his face as he watched the two of them. Ichigo was slowly awakening by then.

Rukia jumped off him and charged.

Naruto raised a hand a small object grasped in it.

Rukia stopped growing pale.

Naruto had a picture of her sleeping on top of Ichigo.

Ichigo awoke. Rukia was standing with a horrified look on her face at something Naruto was holding.

"Wha?" he got a good look at the picture. He jumped out of bed blushing crimson from anger more than anything.

"Uh uh uh" Naruto shook his finger at them "You attack me or rip this one up the whole school will see the others." Ichigo fell to his knees, horror and embarrassment and resignation gripping his heart and soul. Naruto had gotten him, had gotten both of them.

Rukia smiled sweetly "Naruto could you please give all the pictures to me, I swear I won't hurt you and I'll be nicer from now on" Naruto looked thoughtful.

"Nah" Rukia bristled.

"Tell ya what?" both the embarrassed prank victims where suddenly attentive "You two kiss right here right now and I'll give you one of the photos. And not some pansy ass peck either a real honest to god kiss between oh lets say…Lovers"

Ichigo was about to shout at him when Rukia's shoulders slumped…no way. She turned to Ichigo was a desperate look in her eyes. He sighed.

"Fine." Naruto smirked. Rukia and Ichigo's lips met, Rukia hesitantly deepened the kiss and Ichigo wrapped his arms around her. Rukia's mind was racing; she hadn't wanted to do this so why was her heart racing or her cheeks flushing. Why did she want to moan?

FLASH!!

Their eyes widened in horror as the tore apart. Naruto smiled at them cheerfully and tossed them a sedate photo of Rukia merely lying on Ichigo's chest.

Rukia tore it up and glared at Naruto who smiled knowingly.

"You will get the images back I promise." Ichigo relaxed Naruto never broke a promise that he knew.

"You'll just have to do some stuff first." both paled.

"Like what?" asked a tentative Rukia.

"One of you…only one admits you like the other in front of the group. I'll choose who later and tell you as soon as mission is accomplished you get one photo. Don't worry I'll set it up." with a cheery wave he leap out the window.

"He owns us doesn't he?"

"Yes he does Ichigo yes he does"

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Ichigo headed down to the kitchen and saw Yuzu preparing breakfast.

"So is Karin up yet?"

"She didn't want to eat, she said she's not feeling so good. I'm worried"

"Really? Karin's sick, that's not like her." Suddenly a door opened.

"ICHIGO!" it was his dad "Bad news, Chad's gone he's disappeared from his room." Ichigo gravely nodded and took off as fast as he could.

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Ichigo was running trying to find Chad.

"Ichigo!!" it was Rukia followed by Naruto in shinigami form.

"Rukia"

"So you got any idea about where he might be?" asked Rukia. Naruto stayed silent, slightly worried himself.

"No, you got any info?"

"Not yet there's no news from soul society about a hollow and I'm not sensing anything either"

She quickly pulled out her sketch book.

"When hollows aren't chasing wholes they can hide themselves between this world and the soul society. When a hollow is located between those two worlds we cannot detect it. What that means is until it shows up to attack Chad. You understand? You got it?"

Naruto and Ichigo looked at each other and spoke in unison "We think we can understand those kinder garden drawings of yours." Rukia's face darkened and her eyebrow twitched. She shoved the book into Ichigo's gut and kicked Naruto in the shin.

Naruto hopped on one foot as Ichigo spoke "I think we got it, a hollow is targeting Chad to swallow up his soul. If we wait for it to show up and attack him it will be too late. Gotta think?" he paused then smirked "I got an idea we'll use Chad's bird friend. Can we use that bird to help detect the presence of a hollow?"

"No, that's impossible." Ichigo huffed and closed his eyes. His face screwed up as he concentrated.

Ichigo began to glow. Naruto looked at him smiling slightly impressed.

"I-Ichigo what's this sensation I'm feeling?" asked Rukia he didn't answer her.

"H-he's trying to sense the soul in that bird, even I can't sense a soul that weak at this distance and that human soul is partially eclipsed by the bird soul. To home in on it from so far away..." she left the sentence unfinished. Naruto whistled and rocked on his heels waiting for Ichigo to finish.

Suddenly Ichigo grabbed a white cloth that had appeared out of thin air.

"Wow" obviously Rukia was impressed. He ran off.

"He saw spirit ribbons, rays of spirit energy but only a high level soul reaper can see those." they quickly followed him.

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After about a minute of following Ichigo Chad appeared up ahead, he ignored Ichigo's shout and ran off.

"Ichigo!" Ichigo turned and gasped it was Karin and she looked ill.

"Karin what are you doing here you look really sick." she fell over.

Ichigo quickly ran up to her.

"Ichigo, you need to get Karin home safe." all eyes turned to Rukia "We'll handle them"

"What are you kidding me? I can't just leave you"

"Just do as I say, I know what would happen if we leave her here. You'd be worrying about her when you fight the hollow. And that can not happen here no matter what"

Her phone beeped. She pulled it out and grimaced. "Naruto two hollows to the west get moving." he nodded and disappeared.

"Now go on get moving get her home and get back here quick now that Naruto's gone."

"Rukia I hope you know that right now you don't have the strength to fight a hollow by yourself. Please don't risk yourself for my sake"

"Don't be stupid a veteran soul reaper never takes any unnecessary chances with a hollow." she looked back at him with a small smile on her face. "Now go" without another word she continued to follow Chad.

Ichigo picked up Karin and got moving.

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Naruto's face twisted into an expression no one on this world had seen. A feral snarl, he was hunting.

His eyes slowly shifted over to red, he had found that after his first century of existence his love of battle had grown to epic proportions. He loved big odds, the more opponents against him the better if they where powerful it was fantastic. He had gained a measure of bloodlust, he didn't always like to kill but when his battle rage was upon him he would slaughter his enemy without mercy.

He drew both swords and jumped off a roof. He flew high and far due to the power of his jump. He fell exactly where he wanted to be. Right on top of the first hollow, his impact with its back knocked it off balance sending it tumbling. He grinned at the other shocked hollow and leapt towards it.

The hollow snarled and dodged but let loose a powerful howl as two of its four limbs where severed. The hollow was shaped like an ape, it died with a scream as Naruto stabbed its mask. The other a wolf like hollow snarled and charged his back. Naruto spun and with a single slash killed it.

Naruto sheathed his swords and smiled. A job well done. He took a single step before freezing. His hands twitched towards his blades before leaping aside as the ground exploded. He rolled to his feet and grinned. A new hollow, the grin faded when ten more arrived.

They chuckled. "We got you little Shinigami time to feed." they charged with a roar.

Naruto drew his swords and leapt forward with a feral snarl.

His sword flashed and a hollow died.

Little did he know a shinigami was watching him with open curiosity. The strange blonde could help his plans or hinder them. Another hollow died and the blonde was surrounded. He sighed; he had hoped the boy would do a lot better than this.

Naruto snarled his eyes glowed blood red and his nails formed into claws. With a roar the world died.

Aizen barely kept his jaw from dropping in surprise. With an inhuman roar a dome of red energy sprang into life obliterating all it touched. One hollow survived but it howled in pain as half its body was gone. The dome faded and revealed a Naruto who looked as fresh as he was before the fight. He killed the hollow and ran off the way he came.

Aizen sensed the boy was holding back a hell of a lot, the boy's reflexes where as quick as lightning but he ran at a speed most shinigami could easily match. Aizen smirked and headed back to soul society, he'd have to find out how to corrupt the blonde. How little he knew.

Naruto shivered but dismissed it at having had to use Kyuubi's chakra after so long. Especially that attack, controlling it was extremely hard it was designed to wipe out a much larger area. He leapt and ran towards where he could sense something going on. He smirked to himself as he preformed acrobatics bouncing twirling swinging off all manner of objects. Lamp posts buildings cars etc. He was wired after that fight.

"God that was a pathetic fight, I really need an all out brawl against someone strong"

He arrived soon seeing Ichigo, Chad and Rukia standing around the bird in its cage.

He landed just as Rukia examined the cage. Ichigo nodded at him and turned to Rukia

"What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid there is nothing I can do his chain of fate has been severed there's no sign of it without it I can't return him to his body"

The bird spoke "Oh no"

Chad murmured the bird's name. Rukia smiled.

"Don't be sad, the soul society is a wonderful place it's very peaceful. You'll be happy there, you'll never be hungry and you'll never grow old. In fact it's a much better place to live than this world." Naruto held in a snort he would believe that when he saw it.

Ichigo leaned down "So now you're suddenly an expert on life in this world."

"Wha?" Ichigo interrupted her

"Anyway you're missing the point here. When you cross over you'll finally be reunited with your mother. We may not be able to bring her back to life but she is on the other side waiting for you. And this time it's really true."

The bird turned to Chad "Sado-san thank you for everything you did for me. You carried me everywhere in your arms and you kept me safe. You where even brave enough to face a terrible monster and protect me from it"

"Don't mention it."

"I guess its time to go now. I don't know what else to say except thank you, all of you." a small ethereal boy appeared behind the bird.

Chad spoke "When I die and pass over would it be alright with you if I carried you around again?" the kid nodded and gave a beaming smile.

Ichigo gave the kid a reassuring smile. "Let's perform the Konso"

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A few days later

Naruto stared as Rukia entered Urahara's shop. She was looking for something specific. He was here for a completely different reason. His Zanpukuto had been giving him an odd feeling recently and he didn't feel safe contacting them anywhere but in the insulated chamber beneath sandal hat's shop. He grinned at her as she spotted him.

Rukia had no idea why Naruto was in Urahara's shop and not in school but he probably had a reason. She nodded to him and walked out with her package. Urahara turned to Naruto after she had gone.

"Ah Naruto how can I help you today?" before Naruto could answer a cat jumped to his shoulders and curled around his neck. He didn't react in shock but just scratched it behind the ears and smirked as she purred. Strangely enough if you scratched Yoruichi somewhere as a cat then kissed her in roughly the same place on her body you'd get basically the same reaction.

"I want to fight you, I need a good work out and none of these hollows are giving me a true fight." Urahara looked shocked for a second before smiling and gesturing for Naruto to follow him. Tessai locked up as they all headed down to the basement.

Naruto was soon going through katas as Urahara just stared at him cane in hand. Naruto spun his blades one more time and faced Kisuke ignoring the audience. He bounced on his feet one more time.

"Ready Urahara." Kisuke nodded. Yoruichi watched in shock as Naruto went under a subtle transformation. His smile disappeared turning his face into a blank mask. Life disappeared from his eyes making the warm inviting blue they usually where look about as inviting as an iceberg infested lake in the artic.

Naruto charged, Urahara parried and quickly found himself on the defensive. Naruto was unrelenting and unforgiving. Yoruichi watched in awe as Urahara barely dodge a slash that would have ended his life. Naruto was fighting with a ferocity she had seen only Kenpachi possess, but he was also fighting with a level of skill coordination and grace that she had only seen once in her entire life. The one time she had seen Yamamoto take to the field in battle.

Urahara was sweating, he hadn't had a fight like this in centuries scratch that he'd never had a fight with an opponent this good in swordplay. He grinned.

"Okiro, Benihime." Yoruichi's and all the Urahara shop workers jaws dropped as Urahara pulled out his shikai. There was a flash of light, when they could see again Yoruichi cursed violently and prepared to get help.

Naruto was impaled on Benihime's blade staring into the face of a stunned Urahara. He grinned and with a roar struck the shop owner in the face with the hilt of his sword. Urahara rocketed back from the blow, Benihime flew out of the wound she had made as blood spurted from Urahara's crushed nose.

Naruto smiled, he sensed his blades where like him only in true harmony in true happiness in a fight. Blood flowed, pain blossomed and death waited in a fight. It was the only way to live.

Something tickled in his mind and he found himself on the mountaintop once again.

"We believe you can hear our name now?"

"Really?"

"Yes you could hear our name for a while now but you needed a battle to bring us out to fight. Listen and use us well we are…"

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Urahara held a hand to his broken nose and glared at the grinning Naruto. Naruto suddenly crossed his blades in front of him, the cutting edge of his left hand katana touching the back of the right.

"Born in the fires of creation, flying in the winds of time. Soar to the heavens to descend and scorch the earth clean of life. King of Dragons. FIGHT BAHUMAT!!" Urahara's jaw dropped. Naruto had released his Shikai.

There was an explosion a fireball raged in place of where Naruto stood. A figure leaped out of the flames and smoke.

CLANG!!

Urahara could feel his bones groan in protest at the unearthly strong blow. He stared at Naruto's weapon and felt an uncomfortable worm of fear dig into his stomach.

The spectators where in shock, Yoruichi gained her senses enough to study the sword. It was beautiful but it had to be the nastiest sword she had ever seen in her life.

Six feet of blade with a one foot handle it was pitch black in color. The handle was placed directly in the center at the bottom of the blade. The cutting edge of the blade was serrated until it reached the top of the blade where it curled back. The very edge of the blade was blood red. (Imagine Zabuza's sword without the holes in its design).

Amazingly Jinta was the first to speak "That's not a sword it's a slab of metal with an edge" they all had to agree.

Naruto growled deep in his throat. He pulled back and made to cut Urahara in half. The man jumped just in the nick of time; as he flipped over Naruto he noticed the rock that had been behind him was cut in half.

He landed and mused out loud "So it's a wind Zanpaktou."

Naruto snarled and twirled even though Urahara was out of his reach he swung the blade straight down burying it in the earth. There was an explosion and a line of fire shot towards Urahara.

"WHAT?" he screamed as he dived out of the way. Naruto advanced again.

"ENOUGH!" he paused and turned Yoruichi was walking towards him. He shrugged and laid his sword against his back. It hung their magically the hilt sticking over his shoulder. Urahara stood up and dusted himself off and stared at Naruto's blade in undisguised curiosity.

"A dual element Zanpaktou, never seen that before." Naruto shrugged and gave a crooked grin.

Yoruichi stalked up to him and confronted him "What was that Naruto? You looked like you where trying to kill him!"

Naruto smiled sheepishly "I haven't had a really good fight in centuries and the opportunity presented itself." he shrugged his shoulders not looking all that apologetic "Sorry." his blade began to glow and it reformed into his normal two blades.

He shivered slightly and grinned "I wonder what happened at school today?" he asked himself as they headed back up into the shop.

Urahara noticed something in the store "Wait a sec...oh man."

A few seconds later Jinta was standing on top of a box labeled defective goods and pointing it out to Ururu. Tessai was explaining about soul candy to Naruto and how this one was a Mod soul, an artificial soul with a personality. Apparently Rukia had taken it for Ichigo. Naruto snickered this was going to be great.

"You know if we're not real careful this gikongan could cause some serious problems." Urahara mumbled.

Naruto watched the Urahara shop inhabitants carefully as he stroked Yoruichi who was once again curled up on his shoulders "Your right there's no telling what he might do if we let him run loose out there."

Urahara suddenly realized something "Hey Naruto if you're here in your soul form then where's your body?"

Naruto blinked and sighed "Kyuubi learned she can force my soul from my body so she's sort of like an always on hand Gikongan but much stronger thanks to her chakra. She transformed into a chick using my body then went shopping. She wanted some female clothes for when she's got to spend long periods in my form or when you finally develop that specialized gigai for her. She was also going to catch a movie I think"

Kisuke nodded and started to give orders.

While Tessai and Jinta disappeared to get what they needed Urahara pulled a large object wrapped in bandages down from a shelf.

"Like they say what's done is done" Naruto snickered as he leaned on a nearby wall waiting.

"Umm Mr. Kisuke, Sir." it was Ururu "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I know this is all my fault I hope that your not mad at me." when Urahara reached out his hand Ururu closed her eyes and winced waiting for the hit. When a hand gentle came to rest on her head she gasped and looked up.

"There's no need to be afraid Ururu, we're in this together. So you made a big mistake." he pulled her towards him in a one armed hug "You didn't do it on purpose and accidents happen. Don't you worry I'll take care of everything" Ururu began to cry in gratitude and relief. Naruto smiled nostalgically remembering his own kids.

"Excuse me Mr. Kisuke everything's ready sir."

Urahara looked over his shoulder at Jinta and Tessai "Good let's collect the merchandize."

Naruto smirked, he cracked his neck then his knuckles as the others got ready. "Heh, I'm never gonna let Ichigo live this one down." he murmured to himself earning a snicker from Kisuke and a chuckle from the cat that jumped to his shoulders.

Naruto followed Urahara to where the mod soul was.

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Naruto watched in fascination as Ichigo talked to the mod soul in his own body about something.

Urahara spoke "Well look who we have here." he walked up to the mod soul playing with his cane "So finally we find you, and what a picture your all beat up and worn out all that trouble for nothing." he pointed his cane at Ichigo's body. The mod soul grunted as the cane hit his head and knocked him out of the body.

Ichigo stared in shock while Naruto watched on in boredom. He'd seen the cane before.

"Mission accomplished we're done lets go home" Urahara said as he picked up the mod soul in its candy form and walked over to his group.

"WHHAAAT?!" shouted Jinta before he complained "Come on I came here to have a real fight and that's all I get."

"HEY!" Ichigo moved towards Urahara "Hold it what are you gonna do with that mod soul now?"

Kisuke looked over his shoulder his bucket hat shadowing his eyes.

"No choice I got to destroy him" Ichigo flinched before asking a question that made Naruto groan

"You see me? How can that be? Just who are you guys anyway?" Kisuke smiled

"I'm not sure how to answer that question." he tossed the mod soul into the air expecting to catch it but a petite female hand snatched it out of the air first.

It was Rukia "I believe that's mine thanks"

"Miss Kuchiki you can't have that"

"And why can't I have it Kisuke. Are you saying it's your policy to seize goods that your customers have already paid for?" Naruto snickered as Rukia spoke.

"Hey I'll give you a full refund, how does that to you?" offered the surprised store owner.

"That's ok I'm completely satisfied with my purchase. Besides I know and you know that you're operating outside the law and I also know it's not your job to recall this mod soul."

Urahara shrugged "I just hope you know what you're getting involved in, so don't blame me if you get into trouble." Rukia turned back to Ichigo with a smirk

"I won't I've already dealt with a lot of trouble since I've been here." Urahara groaned.

Rukia walked up to Ichigo "Here!" she handed him the mod soul "Come on lets go." Ichigo stared down at the mod soul for a few seconds.

"NAARUUUTOOO!!" everyone jumped and they where all surprised to see a buxom redhead running towards Naruto.

"Oh hey Kyuubi. Get your shopping done?" she nodded and the image of a woman was replaced with Naruto in a black jacket and jeans with something stuffed in his back pocket. Naruto stepped into his body regaining control.

He rolled his shoulders and sighed before pulling a hat just like Kisuke's out of his back pocket and settling it on his head. "Lets go Ichigo" Ichigo nodded still slightly bewildered before jumping into his own body.

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They where walking past a construction site in a comfortable silence when Ichigo stopped groaning in pain at his wounded shoulder. The mod soul had gotten his body damaged while fighting a hollow.

"You're really feeling it"

"Sure am that mod soul took my body for a pretty rough test drive" he pulled the mod soul candy out of his pocket. "He tried to wreck me. HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?" Naruto raised an eyebrow at the boy shouting at a piece of candy.

Rukia sighed "I must say you look awfully silly yelling at a pill in public" Ichigo blushed and growled.

"I still want to tell him how I feel, help me out here. Is there a way I can give this damm mod soul what's coming to him?" he looked at Naruto.

"No way man, first time I let Kyuubi use my body I woke up in the middle of a large city butt naked I ain't doing that again."

Ichigo snickered and looked at Rukia who was thoughtful.

"You need to insert him into a body, a dead body or one that doesn't have a soul" Ichigo smiled and started looking around for one.

"Ah ha I got ya, I'm looking around for a dead body and once I find it BAM is he going to get it." Rukia repressed a giggle.

"Just be quiet" Ichigo spotted something, a stuffed toy.

"What do we have here?" he walked up to the toy sitting on a pile of trash "So let me get this straight your saying a non living object could work for this right?"

Rukia's eyes widened "Hold on that's not exactly how it works." she paused to think "There's a possibility it could work lets try it."

"You think. Alright so what do I do?"

"I would imagine you take the pill and put it in his mouth"

"Thank god its not a repository." both looked at Naruto.

"Huh?"

"You don't know what that is even though your dads a doctor?" a shake of the head "You only got two holes in your body that lead to the digestive track. Your mouth and…" Ichigo paled and Rukia blushed slightly

"Well earlier models…" Naruto blinked and shivered thanking god that they had changed the format.

Ichigo popped the pill into the plushies mouth. Nothing happened. He picked it up "So you got any ideas that might work?"

Naruto decided to help "Smack it around a little" Ichigo slapped it against the fence.

"OWW! That hurts nimrod, got it?" the plushie jumped off Ichigo's hand and to the ground.

"Kurosaki Ichigo I hereby challenge you to a no holds barred duel."

"Count me in." the plushy looked up at the much bigger Ichigo.

"Hey wait! WHEN DID YOU GROW BIG?! Or did I somehow shrink?" it looked at itself.

"What happened I'm in a super cute plush toy with soft paws and no muscle this isn't fair." Ichigo grinned evilly making Naruto take a step back.

"Hey mod soul relax its time for some payback for what you where doing to my body earlier." he grabbed its head an squeezed "Your little field trip could have taken me out completely I need to make you understand."

The mod smirked "I guess I'm going to have to mop the floor with ya just the way I am."

It gave a great battle cry but found itself unable to move in Ichigo's grip. It struggled and grunted but began to scream when Ichigo beat it around. He dropped it and stomped on it sending him into unconsciousness.

They stared at the unconscious toy. "SO what should we call him?" Ichigo wondered.

Rukia had an idea "How about Mod?"

Naruto frowned "Nah that actually sounds cool, he's dorky and perverted apparently lets call him…fuzz face."

"How about Kon?" Naruto shrugged its not like he cared. Rukia nodded.

"Kon it is then." Ichigo picked it up and stuffed him in his backpack.

"See ya Ichigo Rukia I gotta meet up with Orihime for dinner, see you guys tomorrow." they waved and as he reached a corner he turned back and shouted. "HEY RUKIA ICHIGO NEEDS HIS REST FOR TOMMOROW SO NO SEX TONIGHT!" Rukia froze and blushed. She turned to lay into Naruto but he was already gone.

The shinigami and substitute shinigami went home in an awkward silence.

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Naruto found his way home rather quickly. He entered his apartment dropped off his stuff and knocked on Orihime's door. She let him in with a smile.

While they were eating something that was a combination of several different foods Orihime asked a very serious question.

"Naruto-kun do you think Ichigo-kun likes me?" Naruto chewed slowly and swallowed before answering.

"I know for a fact that he's at least attracted to you. He's only attracted to both you and Rukia. Love if that's what you're asking…I have no idea its never come up and he's not an open person. However I'm pretty confident he likes both of you." Orihime blushed and seemed to relax slightly

"Will he ever admit it?"

"Not of his own accord but let me work on it for you, little sister." Orihime blushed and giggled. She did love Naruto like a brother.

"But he's so much closer to Rukia-san I might lose him to her."

"Maybe." Orihime started to tear up "Unless you share."

"W-what?"

"Unless you and Rukia share Ichigo between the two of you." Orihime blushed. "I've seen it work if the guy actually loves both women and both women love him back and are good friends. It'll take some work but I think you can pull it off. But you must be prepared for something"

"W-what?"

"In the heat of the moment when you Rukia and Ichigo are there…you and Rukia might get into each other." Orihime blushed and looked away mumbling something.

"What was that?"

"I-I wouldn't mind as long as Ichigo's there but I don't want to become a lesbian"

"You won't be there are plenty of women who are perfectly straight and wouldn't have sex with another woman. However when a man is there they just might, doesn't mean your bisexual either your just more open when you have sex. My girlfriend's like that."

"Sakura wasn't…she was bi. It gets kind of disturbing when your girlfriend points out women who have nice butts or big breasts." Orihime blushed and giggled. Orihime had noticed before that she wore an almost permanent blush when alone with Naruto. He was so honest and frank. He'd openly talk about sex and had been forestalled from talking about his own sex life before.

The last time he had mentioned anal around Tatsuki and her he gave her a very detailed explanation before her best friend could forestall him. It didn't take long for the irritate black haired young woman to beat him up after that.

Orihime hadn't been able to sit without fidgeting for hours afterwards. Naruto thought it was funny as hell.

Naruto helped her wash up then left soon afterwards after chatting a bit about some romantic comedy Orihime wanted to see. She had giggled up a storm at the disgusted looks on Naruto's face as she described and imitated the sappy love lines in the movie trailer.

Naruto grinned inanely, Orihime was a great girl Ichigo was one lucky dude. He found himself being pushed down on his bed as soon as he entered the room. It was Yoruichi.

"Yoruichi wha?" he didn't finish as her mouth covered his own.

She straddled him and pulled back. "Naruto…make love to me" he blinked.

"Ok" he started to lift himself up but she put a hand on his chest and pushed him back down.

"No Naruto…not sex, Love ok?" he was suddenly confused not entire sure what she was getting at. He searched her eyes and found something he had never seen in her eyes. An emotion he hadn't seen in a woman's eyes for nearly two thousand years. She leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"I love you." she whispered to him huskily, none of her inner turmoil and fear reverberating through her voice.

He grabbed her by her shoulders "Yoruichi are you sure, I mean you never struck me as a person to fall easily?"

"I'm sure." she whispered in determination "I've had lovers before Naruto your not naive you know that and your not worried about it. Those lovers where fleeting physical fun and once it was over and I was satisfied I didn't care about them anymore." she took a slight pause "You're different I can't get enough of you. I've never snuggled up to someone or hugged them in my sleep. You're my man Naruto, I know you and I know your history. There might be other women and as long as they share you and you occasionally share them I can't complain. So please Naruto, make Love to me." he watched her. Her eyes where full of emotion telling him just how vulnerable she was at that exact moment.

He gave her a warm smile, that made her relax if only slightly "Yoruichi, I've had two problems my entire life right from the point I started to see that girls where different from boys. The first problem is that when I fall in love with someone I'll never fall out of love with them, never give up on them and always be there for them. The second is that I fall in love very easily because I just always see a person for who they really are, and I've been in love with someone from the moment I arrived in this world." Yoruichi blinked processing what he said. Her breathing became a little easier and all her worries melted like snow. Her tensing muscles unclenched themselves and she finally grinned at him, causing Naruto to smile a soft smile back.

Lips crashed together and they made love…again and again and again, over and over and over.

Several hours later in the early morning Naruto was thankful that he didn't require much sleep, he only needed to sleep two to three hours a day to stay fresh for a good twenty-four hours.

Yoruichi sighed in contentment and pressed herself up against him as they spooned. He was still erect. She both loved and hated his stamina, loved it because he could out last her in bed but hated it because when she had collapsed and could go no longer her body still craved him and the fact he could still go on made it hard to ignore that need.

She may not be able to handle him being on top anymore or herself being on top she was far too sore. There was something she had never done except when by herself and very bored. She reached down and grabbed him smirking when he gasped. She guided him to where she wanted him. He sighed into her hair when he touched her back door.

"You sure?" her only answer was to press back into him. He slipped inside.

"Fuck your tight." he entered her further until their hips met.

"Nice and slow foxy I've never had anything as big as you back there." he growled into the back of her neck and kept the pace nice and slow. They were at it for hours. Yoruichi sighed in content as her orgasm washed over her, it had taken an age to get to it but it was absolutely delicious. She clenched then released, pressed down on Naruto then clenched again he groaned and bit down on her neck as he emptied into her ass. He hugged her, kissed her ear.

"Love you Yoru-chan"

"Love you too Naru-kun"

With a tired yawn from both their mouths they fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

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Orihime bounced up and down anxiously; Tatsuki was standing next to her very nervous. Orihime had a copy of Naruto's door key in her hand and he'd given it to her for this reason. If he was late to school she'd open up and wake him up or hurry him along. She opened the door to his apartment. It was more of a loft, one big open space, the kitchen was in one corner easily spotted by the large table sinks, counters, fridge and tiled floor. The rest of the floor was carpeted. A large bed was pressed against one wall with an open walk in closet nearby, on the other side was a closed door presumably the bathroom.

Orihime walked in and blushed lightly, Tatsuki followed her and flushed red mouth opening slightly to drool. Naruto was asleep on his bed covered from the waist down, his heavily muscled and tanned body shown off to the world. A strange tattoo on his stomach stood out as well as the expensive looking necklace on his neck. They froze when a toilet flushed in the bathroom. Cursing was what they heard next.

"FUCK! I knew I shouldn't have let that big bastard get in my ass without lube or something… stupid…" she said some weird word that sounded like gigai. Tatsuki felt faint, she was standing here ogling Naruto while his girlfriend was in the bathroom loudly complaining about having anal sex with someone…well endowed.

Naruto rolled over in his sleep, the sheet fell off. Tatsuki squealed. He had large scratches on his back and what looked like teeth marks on his right ass cheek. The squeal woke him up.

Naruto rolled off the bed and into a fight stance, he glanced around the room seeing Orihime blushing crimson and covering her eyes and Tatsuki looking faint with blood running down her chin from her nose. Yoruichi was leaning on the bathroom doorway one hand rubbing her sore ass but she was smirking at the two girls.

Naruto blinked finally realizing who was in the room. Nonplussed "What are you two doing here?" He took a step towards his closet, muscles rippled Tatsuki fainted. Orihime forgot about the naked Naruto and the naked black woman as she dragged Tatsuki out. Naruto burst into laughter and so did Yoruichi as she hobbled over.

She giggled as she grabbed her own clothes. "The black haired one likes you"

"I know it's brilliant oh I'm going to have so much fun today." he quickly showered and dressed then before he left he pulled Yoruichi flush up against him, her back to his chest.

He whispered in her ear "Tonight I'm going to take your ass again and again until your screaming my name so loud soul society could hear you. You won't be able to walk right for the rest of your life." Yoruichi had the good grace to blush then yelp in pain when he slapped her ass hard. She glared at the smirking Naruto who blew her a kiss as he closed the door.

"Damm know it all bastard, I'm gonna…I'm gonna… fuck…I'm gonna let him do that" she sat down and winced. "Damm my ass hurts"

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Tatsuki was gritting her teeth in embarrassment and rage. Naruto the bastard had been smiling at her knowingly the entire morning. She only got a reprieve by going with Orihime early to one of their classes.

Michiru approached her "Excuse me Tatsuki, you take art class don't you?"

"Yeah"

"So did you do our assignment the one that was on our future?"

"How we see ourselves in the future?"

"Can I see yours I drew one but it's not very good"

"Oh sure." she dug in her bag and pulled out her sketch book.

"Here." it was a picture of her standing in a boxing ring over a defeated opponent holding aloft a championship belt.

"Wow you did a great job"

"That's me it shows how I'm going to be the first female Vale Tudo champion."

Michiru looked down at it despondent "This is awesome my drawing looks so lame I don't want to show it to any of you. Oh Orihime, can you show me what you drew?"

"I'd love to I'm glad you asked to see it because secretly I'm very proud of what I did." she reached into her bag and pulled out her own sketch book.

"Great you must have done…wha?" she stared at a picture of a burning city with a robot with Orihime's head on top firing a rocket from where one of her breasts should be.

"I'll have a velocity of over 200 miles per hour a 20,000 degree Celsius flame will shoot from my mouth and my eyes will project destruction beams." Michiru was aghast.

"Orihime! What have you done?" while the girls told her of her mistake Ichigo walked in followed my Naruto.

Orihime saw them first "HEY, good morning Guys!"

Ichigo smiled freaking Naruto "Hi Orihime how's it going?" this shocked everyone. Naruto was suddenly all over Ichigo asking about his temperature and was he sick he didn't let up until Ichigo hit him in the face.

Michiru was curious "What is up with Ichigo he never says hi or acts friendly to anyone it's really kind of strange. Its like he's in a good mood"

She tried to get Orihime's attention but she kept staring off into space…in Ichigo's direction.

Tatsuki frowned "Michiru what's the date today?"

"OH today is June 16th." Tatsuki sighed.

"I knew it, sometimes Ichigo holds in his feelings. He's not in a good mood he's acting nice but he's really tense today." she stood up.

Orihime was worried "Tatsuki?"

"Its nothing to worry about, I know why he's acting like this and I bet you tomorrow Ichigo's going to skip school altogether."

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Later during lunch they where all sitting just chatting away when Keigo went on a spiel about getting a tattoo "Hey Naruto, would you ever get a Tattoo?"

"Huh? Nah already got one" the girls gasped but Orihime and Tatsuki blushed.

"Y-You do? Where can you show it?" Naruto nodded and lifted up his shirt, revealing a large spiraling tattoo on his stomach.

"When did you get it Naruto it looks really cool?"

Naruto frowned, he doubted they would believe he's had it since he was born "When I was thirteen, I broke into my guardians liquor cabinet drank myself stupid then managed to stagger across the road with his credit card in hand to the local tattoo pallor, then woke up with this thing."

Naruto smirked. "Tatsuki you don't seem surprised that I have a tattoo why's that?"

All eyes turned to her and she spluttered and blushed. Thinking fast she answered "Well I just figured you're the kind of idiot that would do that."

Naruto raised an eyebrow "So it's not because you walked into my apartment this morning while I was naked?"

Tatsuki was suddenly feeling faint again at the shocked looks on everyone's faces. "ORIHIME WAS THERE TOO!"

Orihime gasped "Tatsuki!"

"WHAT? We both had to stand there and listen as his girlfriend complained about how he fucked her in the ass last night. Then he jumps out of bed butt naked with his huge thing swinging everywhere and acting like its no big deal and then he brings up that I saw his hot body and doesn't mention you where there only me. I have every right to BLOW UP!!" with a shrill scream she passed out.

Everyone sat stunned. Naruto started laughing, he just kept laughing and laughing until it became a dry wheeze. When he finished wiping his eyes from the tears he looked up into peoples astonished faces.

"What?"

Keigo was the first to speak "They saw you naked?"

"Well yeah I sleep naked most nights since my girlfriend is there most nights and I over slept and a couple of weeks ago I gave Orihime a spare key to let herself in if I'm late. She did and walked in on my sleeping Naked and my girlfriend complaining about being sore." then he muttered something.

"What?"

"Don't know why she was complaining she scratched the shit out of me last night" the Lunch bell rang. "Orihime you go I'll wake up Tatsuki I should probably apologize for this morning anyway." Orihime nodded and everyone left. Even Ichigo seemed shocked out of his funk.

Naruto shook Tatsuki awake she looked up at his face surprised then blushed and snarled at him. She sat up swinging. He jumped away.

"You really know how to keep things to yourself huh?"

"You started it you bastard."

"Yeah we'll I didn't expect you to explode."

"Bastar…mmph" her eyes widened in shock as he kissed her. He pulled back.

"WHA…mmmph…damm you" she was blushing and hot under the collar. She grabbed him by the collar. "I am so going to beat you up after this" she dragged him down into a kiss. Naruto grinned into it and felt very pleased with himself at the shiver she gave when he ran his hands down her sides. He pulled away leaving a blushing and out of breath Tatsuki.

"Hehehe still going to beat me up."

"Yes but when I get you alone your ass is mine."

"I knew you where into that kinky stuff, come on we got to get to class." she nodded then slugged him in the face leaving a small bruise. She went to class where Orihime pulled her aside. "You kissed him."

"What?"

"I saw you"

"So what if I did?"

Unfortunately Keigo heard them "TATSUKI KISSED NARUTO CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!"

Tatsuki groaned. "I hate my life"

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Thanks to all my readers and please remember to Review it really helps my motivation as well as shows me bits and pieces to improve not to mention inflate my already massive Ego hehe. So I hope you enjoyed it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS SEE YOU IN 2008