These keep coming out feeling really awkward eek. Note to self: write more stream of consciousness crazy babble!
Disclaimers: Usual. I don't own the Most Excellent Game Psychonauts, yadda yadda yadda.
Make sure to R&R!
Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. - Anonymous
There was only the sound of the straightjacket as it shifted around him, the indescribable sound of the white room's floor making noise as he moved slightly. His knees had grown too sore and so he had begun to shift to change the pressure. Briefly he wondered why he was sitting on the floor and not the bed. He also wondered why it mattered when he had bigger issues to deal with.
So easy to fix, he thought as his green eyes drifted back towards the floor, so easy… Just need help help HELP. Sasha won't. Nope never of course he won't, he never-
"Razptuin," said one of the nurses or orderlies - he still hadn't bothered to figure out which is which - from outside his cell. He paused in his frantic thoughts but didn't look up. "You have a visitor."
Raz looked up, frowning. A visitor? Sasha and Milla had visited so recently that the hours were still tangled in his mind (time was slippery here, so so slippery), and his father wasn't coming for at least another week. He turned and leaned against one of the walls, his restraints and walls rustling in time. Didn't make sense didn't fit in nobody visits nobody comes to Thorney Towers – is this Thorney Towers? Nobody ever comes.
So that when she stepped through the door, red hair bound by nothing but a headband that hardly matched the rest of her outfit – as per usual – his breath caught in his chest and he tensed up in a mix of emotions. And for a moment, neither of them could breathe.
"You…" he broke the silence suddenly, staring at her but not quite able to meet her eyes. "You cut your hair." She paused and reached a hand to touch her own hair, the dropped it to her side again.
"Twice." She responded, while he looked away and shuffled nervously. She took this as a cue to make her way to the bed in the corner of the cell, the dingy thing camouflaged by the pure white scheme of this place.
Twice. Had it been that long? He'd had so many missions and had been bound to the circus when he had free time, hardly able to see anyone, let alone her. How long? A year? More? He couldn't remember and that frightened him.
"Lili," he breathed and she tensed. She turned to him but he couldn't speak. Save her save them save them all so why is she here why am I here-?
"Aw, Raz," she teased and he shuffled over to the bed when she sat down, "have gotten yourself into trouble again?"
He tried to grin at her like he used to, back when they always joked in quiet with hushed voices and pressed close – but he couldn't. So he gave her a weak, nervous smile. "Well, you know how they are…" Like it was a joke.
Silence settled over the two again, but that was alright as far as Raz was concerned. His thoughts were frantic as always but it felt different, feverish but with a fluttering heart, and for a moment he felt more relaxed, like he could ease up a little and –
Break.
"Lili," he sobbed suddenly, falling to his knees. "Oh Lili, Lili, something's wrong."
She drew back slightly, her eyes wide and bewildered.
"They say I'm crazy but I still don't know. All I know is that something's wrong because…" He looked away from her, fully aware he was babbling but unable to stop. "Because I can't – can't hear anything anymore and I can't reach out and touch and oh God I can't see without my goggles, Lili."
He shook and gulped in air and from the corner of his eye he could see her reaching out a hand, hesitantly, gingerly, as if to see if he was really there or not. He tensed and looked up, drawing back as she moved closer. There was something wrong here and she kept moving closer because she was Lili, always moving forward Lili, always pushing the envelope when no one else could, always going strong when he was stuck behind in the asylum –
But then she stopped, let her wrist fall limp and drew back her hand. Instead, she sunk to the floor and to her knees so that her pretty little skirt touched the white floor and she was eye level with him.
"Raz," she said, placing her hands on his shoulder. He looked up and to the side – not into her eyes. Never into her eyes. "Raz, c'mon. This is nothing, you'll manage." You always do.
It's not his thought but he can't hear but – he shook and fell toward her, silent as he buried his head in her shoulder. His eyes were forced shut but he could feel her working her arms around him and drawing him closer. It was silent and just them for a moment, almost right except he was still shaking and biting his lip to keep himself from babbling nonsense.
What he couldn't see was Lili, holding the crumbled boy in her arms, biting her own lip in order to keep herself together.