Damn Hanna, you gotta quit with the dreams!

She threw her head back onto the pillow and her body followed suit. Covering herself back up she laid there looking at the ceiling, wishing she could just go back to sleep. She was going on week 2 of little to know sleep and what sleep she did get, was clouded by visions of one of her best friends, and her ex-boyfriend.

You have got to get a grip on yourself! It was a couple of pictures…not a proposal.

She thought to herself.

It had been two weeks since she finally decided to log onto Facebook for the first since he left 3 months ago. She had purposefully stated off of any and all social media if at all possible, to keep from having to change any relationship statuses from "In a Relationship" to "Single" and answering all of THOSE questions.

One particular day she decided that she would be brave enough to finally jump on and see what everybody had been up to, without posting anything herself. As she scrolled through her newsfeed she saw updates from Ali and Emily about school. Aria was always posting new book and author recommendations. When she clicked on the search bar at the top of her page and typed in S – Spencer Hastings was the first name that popped up. She scrolled through her newsfeed, completely bypassing any political crap that Spencer had posted and as she did she came across a photo album entitled "Europe!" with 200+ pictures. Interested, she took it upon herself to click through them, halfway through the album she clicked onto a picture that stopped her dead in her tracks.

On her screen was a selfie and Spencer with Caleb. The caption read "Ran into this guy in Madrid! :)" under it. Oh all the places and all the people in the world, how on earth did those two just happen upon each other in another freaking country?! She began clicking through the rest of the pictures like a mad woman to see more, and there were several. Mostly candid shots with him either in the background, or pictures of Spencer that she suspected he had taken.

She quickly went up to the search bar again and typed in C- nothing showed up so she continued typing out Caleb Rivers and his search. She sat back in her chair and stared at the computer screen. He had deleted his page. She slammed her laptop closed and that was the last time she had been on my traces of social media. She didn't need to get on it anymore; she spent most of her nights dreaming about it now. Mostly the same scenarios and people, just different story lines.

Uh no!

She thought as she laid in bed.

She felt the pit of her stomach knot up and she knew what was coming next. She ran to the bathroom in just enough time to throw the lid up and empty the contents of last night's dinner into the bowl. Standing she turned on the shower and then turned back to the sink to brush her teeth. Looking into the mirror she stared at her reflection. She was a mess. Looking down at the lone gray shirt he left behind, she ran her fingers over the ketchup stain down the front of it.

Give it up Hanna. You're gonna have to wash this thing. It's pretty disgusting.

She thought as she pulled it over her head and tossed it into the laundry hamper. Deciding that even if it killed her, she was washing it tonight. Looking into the mirror she turned to her left so she could see her profile. Running her hands over the barely there mound of her stomach as she stared at the bump in the mirror.

All those pretty clothes aren't gonna fit for too much longer.

She turned and got into the steaming shower to start the process that was getting ready.

An hour later she was showered and ready with her hair pulled back into a messy bun. She was keeping her makeup to a minimum these days. Accenting her eyes with a tad bit of liner and mascara on her lashes was the only give away that she had even put any on. Venturing into her closet, she went in search for anything that would still fit and looked appropriate on her still. She settled on a flowy yellow maxi dress and topped it with a denim jacket. Putting on wedges that were a lot smaller than anything she was used to, she grabbed her purse and planner and dashed out the door for work.

She waltzed into the door right at 8 AM, just barely making it to her desk before she was late. She sat her stuff down on her desk and hit the button of her computer screen. Looking up she shot a look at Laurie who was staring at her from across the office. Laurie raised her eyebrows at Hanna.

Hanna and Laurie had worked together for a year now and she had quickly become one of her best friends in the city. With all her other friends scattered throughout the country, and not being able to see them all the time Hanna had grown close to Laurie. She was a tall brunette with a stacked bob and bright blue eyes.

Laurie was her saving grace after Caleb had left. The night she blew off work to go back to the apartment to him, Estelle fired her for not showing up. Laurie, being the concerned friend that she was sent Hanna a text asking her how she was holding up after being let go and told her that she would certainly be missed around the office. Hanna spilled her guts to her friend about how she left to go with him but when she had returned to the apartment he was already gone and that she had spent the last 2 days in her bed with cupcakes. Laurie came over with Chinese food and ice cream after work and stayed with Hanna for a few days. The two had been very close ever since. It was nice to have a friend in the city where you knew absolutely no one else but your co-workers and boss.

Laurie even went back to work and informed Estelle about what had happened to Hanna. Estelle called her up and requested a meeting. Hanna went expecting the details of her severance package but instead Estelle offered her job back AND she got a raise for having her heart broken. Perks of working with a woman, she understands that hardly anything fixes a broken heart.

Laurie cleared her throat to get Hanna's attention

"Good morning" she said giving her a questioning look.

With a huff Hanna answered, "Morning."

Estelle walked into the office right after.

"Good morning ladies" she said as she passed by them and into her office.

Hanna glanced up at Laurie who was making some motions that looked mildly inappropriate with her hands and mouth. Hanna threw her hands up in a questioning look as if to say, I don't know what you're talking about. So Laurie picked up her cup off of her desk and put it to her mouth and motioned towards Estelle's office.

Suddenly it clicked.

"Crap! Her coffee!" Hanna yell-whispered at her friend who gave her the thumbs up when she finally got it

"I forgot her coffee!"

She put her head in her hands about the same time; Estelle called out from her office

"Hanna! Where is my coffee?"

With a panicked look on her face she stared over at Laurie and threw her hands up for an answer. She only received a shake of her head.

"Oh Estelle, I am so sorry. I completely forgot! I will go grab it now!" she yelled and immediately jumped up from her desk and took off before her boss could say another word.

Hanna walked pretty quickly down the hall to the elevator and hit the down button. Once the doors opened she hit the down button to go to the ground level so that she could go to the building's coffee shop. She swung open the door and marched up to the counter.

"I need a Vanilla latte ASAP." she said out of breathe to the barista.

Two minutes later she was walking back out the door, with the hot cup in her hand. She hit the button for the elevator every bit of 6 times before the doors opened. Once inside she hit the button to close the door another 6 times and it started to move. The doors opened to her floor and as she made her way off the elevator she noticed the smell from the coffee and it made her stomach do flips.

Not again!

She ran in the bathroom, discarding the cup on the counter to her right she found a stall and shut the door to heave into the bowl. After she was done she wiped her mouth and went to the sink to rinse with some water. She grabbed the cup and ran back out of the ladies room. Once she arrived back into their office she walked right in between her desk and Laurie's and headed straight to Estelle's office with her cup. She sat it down on her desk and turned to walk out.

"Hanna? You have a minute?" her boss asked.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

This is it, I am getting fired again.

She turned on her heel to face her boss.

"Estelle, about the coffee…I just..."

"It's not about the coffee Hanna. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am fine. Just not feeling 100% today."

"Are you sure? If you need some time off…"

"No! No. I am fine really. It won't happen again." Hanna reassured her as she turned to walk out of her office and head back to her desk to work.

A few hours later Estelle walked out to go to lunch

"Ladies, I have a lunch meeting today so I will be gone for a while. Any calls, just transfer them to my voicemail." She said she passed them

"Have fun!" Laurie yelled towards her back and she was leaving.

Once the door shut Hanna laid her head in her hands and sighed. Laurie typed away at her computer, never looking up but saying

"Another long night?"

"Yes. How can you tell? Do I look that bad?"

"No, actually you look rather cute." She sighed "What was this one about?" she asked as she turned in her chair to face Hanna.

"Oh you know the usual. Meet baby daddy at the park to hand off 5 year old for business trip. Come back home to pick said 5 year old up and ring doorbell to baby daddy's house and his wife answers the door. His wife, that also happens to be my BEST FRIEND."

Laurie laughed.

"Han, you have got to tell him."

Hanna opened her eyes and looked across the room

"Yeah, I know I do, but how? How do you nicely say – Hey sorry for being a psycho stalker and tracking you down every way I know how but you remember when we broke up 3 months ago when you left for Europe…well I was knocked up and didn't find out until after you were gone? Surprise Baby daddy!"

"Well maybe not like" she said sarcastically "Why don't you try his mom again? Or his dad?"

"I've called her twice already and I tried Jamie too asked them both to get him to call me because it was important. Needless to say, I'm still waiting on that call. I'm sure they think I am being that crazy ex-girlfriend trying to keep tabs on him."

She laid her head back in her hands.

"I just don't want to tell them to tell him. I need to be the one that tells him. And I've done everything accept drive all the way around the country to find him."

"Well, maybe you can find another way. Maybe you still have some mutual friends that could get to him?"

"Yeah, but friends ask questions Laurie. Questions I don't want to answer right now."

Hanna pulled out the newspaper and began flipped through the ads

"Still looking for a place?" she asked

"Yeah. …" Hanna replied with a sigh as she flipped through the pages.

She hated to leave the apartment. It was the first place her and Caleb had out on their own. It was tiny and definitely did not have enough room for all her stuff plus a baby, but it had always felt like home to Hanna.

As she flipped through the pages she highlighted the numbers to some places that looked like they were worth looking into.

"You know, you could always take up your mom's offer you know."

"I am not going to be a 25 year old single mother living with my mom!"

"Just sayin' "

When it came time for her lunch break, Hanna went into the break room to lie down on the couch. With a million things running through her mind she knew she would never get to nap so she decided to go get some lunch. Her favorite little café was just down the street from her office and the walk would be good.

She grabbed her phone and her sunglasses and headed for the elevator. The cool air hit her face as she opened the doors to the building and head out into the sidewalk. Perellie's just a small, hole in the wall place that she and Caleb happened to find one night, but they had the best Reuben in town.

When she arrived in front of the café she opened the door and walked in.

She had been here in months and when she walked in she looked around the small sitting area for a table. Over in the very corner was a young couple sitting at a table at the front windows. When she saw them, her mind immediately went back to last Thanksgiving, when they had decided that they would do dinner a few days early for just the two of them before they headed back to Rosewood to eat at her mom's. She had burned the turkey and overcooked the dressing. He didn't say anything; he just laughed and kissed her forehead while she cried. They threw the scraps of dinner into the trash can and came to Perellie's and sat in that very same corner table. She kept apologizing for burning everything and he would just say

"Dosen't matter where we celebrate, as long as we celebrate together."

She was pulled from her memory as she heard a very familiar voice

"Mrs. Rivers! How nice to see you! It's been a while."

Her heart stopped.

Mrs. Rivers…

She turned towards the counter to see Mr. Perellie standing behind the counter dressed in his usual white apron and she forced a smile.

"Mr. Perellie! It has been a while! How are you?"

"Doing well, doing well. And you?"

"Great!"

"Will you be having the usual?"

"Uh, yeah. The usual sounds great." She said with a smile

"Coming right up!" he said as he got started on her sandwich.

She sat down at a table right by the door and stared out into the street and watched the people pass by.

"Order up for you Mrs. Rivers"

She stood and went to the counter to pick up her sandwich and pay. When she reached the counter she noticed two in her bag.

She sucked in a deep breath and looked up.

"I know Mr. Rivers likes lots of pickles on his, so I threw some extras in on the side." He said with a smile as he handed her the bag "Tell him we said hello."

She forced a smile on her face as she replied

"Thank you I will!"

She took her bag and walked out the door gasping for air as she made it onto the street. She looked down at the bag knowing she wouldn't be able to eat now. She walked back down towards her office building; tossing the bag into the first trash can she saw.

She made it back to her office barely offering Laurie a smile as she passed by headed to the bathroom. Running straight into a stall and closing the door she flipped the lid down and sat down on the toilet.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

Then the tears came. She sobbed so hard and so loud she was sure that they could hear her in the office, but she didn't care. She cried until the tears no longer came out of her eyes. Wiping her eyes she stood and opened the stall door. When she looked up, she saw Laurie standing there with her shoulder propped up on the wall with her arms crossed.

Hanna didn't say anything she sniffled back her tears and wiped her nose on her hand.

"You have to tell him." She said

Hanna shook her head as the tears began to flow again.

"Yeah, I do." she cried.

Hanna fixed herself and fifteen minutes later when back to work. She spent the rest of the day keeping herself busy and avoiding cautious looks from across the room. When she would catch the eye, she would offer up an "Im okay" smile and nod.

Once work was over she went straight home to her apartment. She ordered Chinese delivery and went to change into her PJs. Pulling the shirt out of the hamper she remembered the stain. As her eyes began to water she held the shirt up to her nose and breathed in the scent of him one more time.

She then went into the bedroom and opened up her drawer to get another shirt. Once she had slipped it on, she grabbed on fuzzy pants and tugged those on and laid down in her bed. She grabbed her phone and slid it open to her text screen. Pulling up her contact she began to type.

Hey Mom. Is the offer to come home still open?

She saw the text bubbles pop up showing that Ashley was replying. Soon her phone buzzed in her hand.

Yes. Of course honey. Everything okay?

She sat there for a while, just wondering what she could say. Finally the words came to her.

Yeah. I just can't be alone anymore.

After she had eaten, she picked up the clothes and went towards the washing machine. She started the water and started piling items in when she got to the shirt she stopped and held it in her hands. She threw it in the machine as the tears started to come to the surface. She shut the lid to the washing machine and sank down to the floor in front of it, sobbing. Once she had caught her breath, she knew what she had to do. Pulling her phone out of her pocket she began to dial.

RINGGGGGGGGGGGG

RINGGGGGGGGGGGG

RINGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Hey, I can't get to my phone right now, if you could please leave your name and number and I will call you back."

BEEEEP

Finding her voice she began

"Hey Spence, it's me…I don't know if you can help me or not, but I think you can. I, um I saw where you ran into Caleb in Europe and I am sure he probably told you about what happened between us…anyway..I uh, I really need to talk to him. It's really important…I , I don't know who else to call because he left his phone here so I'm sure he has gotten a new number…but if you could please, just tell him I am so sorry and that I really need to talk to him please. I love him Spence, I love him so much. I don't know what else to do. Please, just if you see him…will you tell him to call me? Thanks."

She hit the end button and laid her head back against the washing machine. She wasn't sure what was going to happen next, but she was going home.