Author notes: Okay, who was horrified by the Chocolate cream-filled penises? Well get used to it, they re-occur quite a lot in later chapters. It's our theme.
The wind swept through his long greasy hair, the cold air of night as the bat of the dungeons flew over the black lake. The long hard instrument between his thighs keeping him up. (A/N it's a broomstick, you sick fuckers)
Yes the Potions Professor of Hogwarts, Severus Snape was enjoying a midnight fly over the Black Lake, swooping and rolling above the dark, cold waves. He enjoyed the thrill of flight, but mostly he enjoyed the solitude.
But his peace was to be interrupted. He saw in the distance a figure flying towards him. Judging by the perfection of the figure's flying, there could be no doubt that the figure racing towards Severus was Rolanda Hooch, Hogwarts' flying instructor.
"Good evening Severus, nice night for it isn't it?" the irksome woman commented.
"Quite," Severus replied curtly.
"Do you mind if I join you Severus?" the woman suggested suggestively.
"Well, yes, actually I do mind," Severus snapped.
"What do you mean, Severus?" Hooch asked, hurt.
"I mean, I take these flights to be alone, the last thing I want is some old bat hitting on me when I'm flying. It's bad enough that you hit on me at breakfast, lunch and tea," Snape practically yelled.
"Oh… I know you don't mean that Severus, you like me don't you?" Hooch said with a new lustre in her voice.
"No I don't you awful woman. You remind me of a beady eyed hawk that's been chewed up and spat out by the giant squid!" Severus yelled, trying to be rid of her.
"Severus, I know your insults are just a way of showing affection towards me," Hooch explained.
"STUPEFY!" Severus roared, wand pointed at the yellow eyed succubus.
She fell off her broom and plunged into the dark, cold waters of the lake. Her body lay there rigid, still under the effects of the stunning spell.
Severus sighed, he couldn't leave her like that. "Ennervate."
The woman began to move, suddenly she realized where she was, she kicked frantically and soon calmed down a bit.
"Severus, help me!" she called up to the man on the broom above her.
"Help yourself," he smirked and flew off towards the school, just in time for hot chocolate which had been kindly delivered to his room by a house elf.