[A/N: This was requested. I can only say... I'm sorry. I seem to be incapable of writing a happy story.]

Lapis: peridot you at the park yet?

Peri: Yeah, I got here five minutes ago. I'm by the playground. Where are you?

Lapis: oh im feeding the ducks... i'll get to you soon, dont go anywhere!

Peri: Alright.

Peridot pushed her phone into her pocket and glanced around the playground area, getting off the bench she had been sitting on and walking slowly towards the swingset. She figured it was safe to assume she had three minutes to compose herself; unfortunately, she was pretty sure that wasn't going to be enough. She pushed her glasses up her nose and took a deep breath. It's not such a big deal, she told herself as convincingly as she could. It's only our second meeting. Nothing's going to happen. Biting her lip, she glanced down at herself quickly. Casual outfit. Good. In her haste, she had barely looked at what clothes she put on – she had gotten caught up in playing a video game and had almost forgotten to come to the park at all; thank goodness Jasper had called – and was thankful to see that she had no curse words on her t-shirt. That would have made a bad impression.

She lifted her gaze and scanned the playground again. Still no sign of Lapis. That was good. Stop getting so nervous, she scolded herself. It's going to be fine. She spun around and made her way towards the bench again, dodging a running toddler and two racing kids on scooters as she tried to keep the butterflies in her stomach from fluttering. She sat down again, distracted, and ran a hand through her hair. Aw shoot, I'm so inexperienced and it's so pathetic. Why couldn't I have found someone to practice dating with when I was younger? I mean, I'm nineteen for heavens' sake, and I haven't dated anyone except… well, I don't know if my thing with Jasper even counts because it only lasted a week; God, that was a disaster! Never again.

I wonder if Lapis'll try to pressure me into… that too. I hope not. It was awful, trying to think of a way to refuse without offending Jasper…

She jolted out of her thoughts when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She spun quickly, glaring backwards. "What the hell– …oh. It's you."

"Yup, it's me," Lapis responded as she slid onto the bench next to Peridot. She was wearing a striped blue sweatshirt and slightly torn jeans, her bangs long and messy, blown around by the autumn wind. "Ooh, nice glasses! How come you weren't wearing those yesterday?"

Peridot glanced around. "Well, um," she replied, suddenly slightly embarrassed (so much for looking cool), "I was wearing contacts yesterday–"

"Wait, is that why your eyes were green?"

"Yes, they're actually blue-gray–"

"That's cool! Why are your glasses green?"

"Because when I was younger, I really liked green–"

"How blind are you without your glasses?"

"I can't see anything closer than you, probably–"

"Can I try your glasses on?"

Peridot took a deep breath, tired of being polite. "Can you please stop interrupting me?"

"Right. Sorry. I know I ask a lot of questions..." Lapis smiled guiltily. "Those green glasses are cool, though."

"Thanks, I guess... but no you can't try them on."

"Okay. Uh, how are you today?"

"I'm all right," Peridot replied, taken aback by the sudden change of subject. "How are you?"

"Well enough," Lapis dismissed, one corner of her mouth quirking upwards. She looked up at the playground, becoming silent; Peridot refrained from speaking, since her companion appeared lost in thought. Suddenly Lapis' smile faded and she turned towards Peridot, her expression unreadable. "I've been thinking – do you know the Universe family?"

"Uh..." Peridot thought for a moment. She had met a child, she recalled, who had introduced himself as 'Steven! Steven Universe!' – he had come to visit her school a few months before, with three girls who had toured her school but ended up going to Crystal High. She didn't know him, though. And she knew nothing about his family. "Not really, no." Her gaze followed a little girl as the toddler ran across the sandbox and fell down.

"Hmm," Lapis paused for a moment, running a hand through her hair thoughtfully. "Steven Universe, the only child of that family... never mind. Anyway, he's a friend of mine, and uh... Well, there's something I need to tell you. I don't really attend Crystal High."

Peridot turned and stared at Lapis, forgetting about the crying toddler. Lapis had lied? Why? Had she lied about anything else, too? She couldn't trust herself to speak without saying something rash, so just tried to ask 'what?!" wordlessly. Lapis was flushing slightly, obviously uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, but um, I used to attend the school, I really did. I..." she took a deep breath. "I don't really want to tell you this, but I talked to Steven last night and he told me I should probably be honest with you – he's smart for a ten-year-old and knows lots more about good friendly relationships than I do, really. And a romantic relationship should be built on a friendly one, in my opinion. So uh... the truth is I dropped out at the start of this year because of various reasons – like, bullying and–" she attempted a weak smile– "you know, stuff like that. I still have all my books and I teach myself using the internet, so uh, I'm learning, but I don't attend the school and... yeah..."

She stopped talking, her eyes drifting down to her lap, where her hands were twisted together in a way that looked painful. Peridot stayed silent for a bit, trying to puzzle through what Lapis had told her and figure out what it meant. Secrets and lies, her thoughts whispered. Secrets and lies. Maybe it was a bad idea to even be around someone like Lapis. Still – there was something about the secrecy around Lapis which somehow made her more appealing. Peridot wouldn't call herself a risk-taker, but there was something about trying to connect with someone like Lapis, someone who society had apparently rejected that intrigued her. While she sorted through her thoughts, though, Lapis had apparently gathered her resolve to say more.

"Actually, I should probably tell you the rest, too," the bluenette blurted, her words tumbling over each other. "It wouldn't be fair to make you try... this... without knowing everything that might affect you... so yeah, you need to know." She pulled her hands apart, clenching them into fists, her eyes fixed on the ground. "I was raised in a bad home. My parents were... uh, not nice people. When I was sixteen... something happened, and now I have PTSD which– um– yeah. When I dropped out of school, I, I had to get out of my house, so I moved in with the Universes for a while. They're a great family but they don't have much and I didn't want to weigh them down. It's been hard.

"I live on the beach now – there's a little house there – and I take odd jobs, but... my life sucks. I meet Jasper like I told you, but we don't really get along. It was Steven who set me up to come and meet you and I only agreed because he really wanted me to – apparently he met you once upon a time and he thought you looked nice, so he set it up with Jasper or something. And now that you know all this... I guess you won't want to date me anymore, and– and I accept that. But Steven told me I should tell the truth, and..." Lapis slowed, her voice shaky. "That's what I'm doing."

Peridot was paralyzed. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say? This was practically the opposite of the day before. The confident girl was gone, and all Peridot could see was a broken teenager who had gone through so much. She could see now, though, and she thought she could understand Lapis' behavior. The day before... well, Lapis must've been excited and had decided to try and fake it, maybe. Or something. She wasn't sure exactly. But then – Peridot tried to picture it. Lapis must've talked to this Steven. Who knew what had happened, exactly. And Lapis had decided what had to be done, and come to meet Peridot, and been nervous, so tried to put this off by asking a lot of questions... But she had revealed the truth, or at least part of it, now. And Peridot didn't know what she should do.

She would have to think this through before she could talk to Lapis again, but if she was silent for too long Lapis would probably decide that Peridot didn't want to be around her, even if it was the opposite (was it? –maybe). So Peridot took a moment. What were her options? What could she say? Sorry, just give me a moment, was one option. Was that offensive, though? Or it's all right, we can try this anyway, although she wasn't sure if she should. Perhaps sorry, but I don't think I can do this would work. That would be harsh, though. The– all that... it wasn't Lapis' fault, and the bluenette did seem to be a charming person.

Peridot's thoughts were interrupted by quiet words from Lapis. "I... I guess I'll leave now," she said. "You can call me if, uh, you want to talk. Otherwise... it was nice getting to know you." The bench creaked as Lapis got up, and Peridot moved her gaze upwards but otherwise didn't manage to react. Lapis gave one last look backwards, then turned away, pushing her hands into her pockets. "Sorry to burden you," she added as she trudged off, head bowed. Peridot opened her mouth to speak, to call her back, but she closed it again without saying anything. Because what was she supposed to say, exactly? She could think of nothing.

So she stayed silent and watched as Lapis walked away, autumn-painted leaves blowing around her in a sudden gust of wind.