I do not own any part of S.M.'s brilliant world of the Twilight saga. This is simply my take on the what could have beens.

A.N.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and support! You wouldn't believe how much they mean to me. I seriously needed them this chapter as I had a bit of a struggle trying to put it together and I could have never got through it without you! I'll have another A.N. at the bottom of the chapter because I'm sure you will all have a couple questions...

Jasper's POV

A week had passed since I had left the people I love in my search of the girl I hoped could help me mend their broken lives. It had been far more difficult than I had hoped to track Bella down since the wolves had started patrolling the area I had once called home.

Though I had never personally met any of the shape shifting boys of the La Push Reservation, I knew from what Carlisle had told me of the "protectors" that I didn't want to run into them. I knew it would only cause a conflict that I really couldn't afford at the moment. It seemed every time I was close to some sort of information of her whereabouts, I smelled them coming and had to once again change my plans.

It wasn't until the fourth day of trying, while sitting in the mall in Port Angeles where I had gone to feel closer to Alice and to think of where I would go next, that I overheard the familiar laughter coming from a few shops away.

"Can you believe how nutty Bella got after Edward and the Cullens took off?" My ears perked up then hearing the voice of none other than Jessica Stanley and she was speaking about us! I couldn't believe my luck. I sat there on the edge of the bench and listened closer as she giggled along with another snorty laugh that I remembered well. I looked over to where I heard their voices coming from and saw as her and Lauren Mallory left the store they had been in.

"Ugh, Bella's always been three shades of nutty, not much of a change there babe" Lauren said in her snooty nasal voice. I never really could stand her and now as I heard her speak of Bella with such disgust and jealousy dripping from her tone she dropped even farther down on my list of favorite people.

"Yeah but I mean, c'mon, After Edward dumped her the chick went completely bonkers!" Jessica laughed. "I never told you about our trip to the twilight zone here in Port Angeles did I?" I felt Lauren's waning attention perk up then, always one for juicy gossip.

"No, what happened?" I wanted to slap the sneer from her face.

"Nothing much..." Jessica replied in a tone clearly meant to add as much juicy drama to the story as she could. "Except that she went all crazy adrenalin junky on me after running out of the disgusting gory movie, that she picked!" she exclaimed in an accusatory voice. "I mean she couldn't sit through a crappy movie with fake zombies but she can go jump on a motorcycle with some strange loser she just met and leave me in the middle of the freakin street flipping out?!"

I groaned as she finished her story, wishing I had heard her wrong because this did not sound at all like something the Bella I had known, would have done. I knew I had heard right though when I felt the shocked scandal she was obviously remembering from that night.

"Holy crap! Are you serious?" Lauren laughed evilly as if she had heard her new favorite piece of gossip, which she most likely had. I'm sure it would be spread all throughout forks in less than a day.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't blame her for getting a little crazy after he left, cause seriously, the boy was a god! but she completely went off the deep end...she went from being a comatose mute to freakin Evel Knievel overnight!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. If I hadn't known who was speaking I would have never thought they were talking about the shy, safe little Bella that had stolen my brothers heart.

The Bella I knew tensed up if the car she was in went anywhere above the speed limit and now she was opting for horror flicks and taking thrill rides from strangers? It didn't sit right with me hearing this and then I remembered Jessica referring to her as having been a "comatose mute". I cringed at that, knowing that only one thing could have caused her to shut down so completely, losing the love of her life. That would have never happened if I had held myself together that night.

I really didn't want to hear anymore of this, this confirmation of the hurt I had caused and I wished that they would just give me the information that I needed so that I could leave the proximity of these retched girls and head out to find Bella.

"Yeah, well, we all knew she was crazy, I mean, who the hell moves all the way to ice hole Anchorage, Alaska on purpose?" Mallory scoffed "Well I guess that just confirms my frigid bitch theory!"

I had heard enough. If i could have, I would have felt bile rise to my throat as I watched them both walk off, laughing like a couple of coughing horses. I stood up then and headed for the exit, knowing right where I would head to next, and the exact sisters I would ask to help me the rest of the way.

Bella's POV

I walked quickly, almost jogging, down the busy sidewalk toward the park, tears threatening to spill from my burning eyes yet again. I walked across the full mossy lawn to where the trail head lay and bent down to tighten the laces on my worn sneakers. Then looking pointedly ahead at nothing in particular I took off.

I knew now why Edward had suggested we continue our education here. Not only did the mountains cast the perfect amount of shadow to cover the shocking glitter of his marble skin which would have obviously drawn much unneeded attention but Alaska had to be the most breathtakingly gorgeous place I had ever seen.

I ran along the ragged dirt trail admiring the beautiful mountain view around me and tried my best not to think about what had been the reason for my coming here. It was hard not to think about him though as the trail began to lead through the forest and soon I was stopping to catch my breath, the emotions from the day he left completely assailing me.

I walked to a bench that was just a few feet away and put my hands on my face as I sat down and finally allowed the tears to fall. I wished with everything that was in me that I could just forget him. The closest I had ever come to that since Edward had left was when I was with Jake.

Jacob Black had been like a breath of fresh air in the year following my breakdown. He had always had a huge smile for me that would light up my day and almost, not completely but as close as I could come, help me forget my pain. I felt at ease whenever I was around him, comforted. I felt wanted and that helped me to make it through.

I had spent almost every day with him, helping him to work on the junked motorcycles I had bought out of my desperate need to feel closer to Edward, to hear his warning voice echoing in my head, and then every day after he had gotten them running, we spent tearing up the back roads, and myself, on them. I never could have been that reckless, felt that free, around anyone but Jake. He had a way of making me feel protected without treating me as if I would break at any moment. I felt almost normal. It was pretty damn nice. That was, until he had gotten sick.

I felt the tears begin to fall faster as I remembered the events that had unfolded after that, how worried I had been for Jake when I had waited by the phone for his call, the depression that had crept back up on me as the weeks went by without him, the abruptness he and His father Billy had treated me with each time I had called to inquire about him. I shivered as I remembered my run in with Laurent after I had finally found Edward's meadow and recalled the terror I had felt when the enormous wolves had come and chased him off, saving me from the agony that would have come from his bite.

I looked back on the day when I had given up on waiting for Jacob to call me and had gone to find him myself.. I had been worried and angry when I 'd found out that he had been spending his time with a gang of boys who I knew he hated. He'd told me abut them once, the gang who called themselves "the protectors". He had called it a cult. The way he described them brainwashing its followers terrified him, thinking that he would be next.

I cringed as I remembered the tortured anger in his eyes as I confronted him about it and felt my heart break all over again when he told me that he could no longer be my friend. "I'm not good". It was too close to what Edward had said to me before he left and it broke me once again. I felt the numbness that had come over me as I drove home. I didn't want to think about these things anymore. I just wanted to pack them up and hide them away somewhere where they couldn't hurt me.

After my confrontation with my once best friend I had again become a shell of myself. I felt the shattered remains of my heart tearing at me constantly but forced myself to breath each day and move forward. I finished up my senior year of high school, completely delving myself into my schoolwork and saved enough money from my job at Newtons Outfitters to put toward my first year of college.

I knew that I couldn't stay here in Washington, having to constantly feel the hurtful memories each time I looked around, so I had opted to go away for school. I'd already been accepted into the University of Alaska at Anchorage and though part of me told myself that I was crazy to to move to a place where Edward had planned for us to go together, I felt a strange sense of longing to be there.

Maybe it was my subconscious needing to feel close to him once again or it could have been my need to just face it all and put the past behind me but I said my goodbyes to my father and the tiny group of friends who had stuck with me through my depression and packed my things to head out to start this next chapter in my life.

I found a small apartment close enough to the school that I could get there in a hurry if I was running late. The apartment was on a busy shopping street, which I didn't mind too much because it was only a few short blocks from the cafe where I had started working just two days after arriving. The money I had saved from working at Newtons had been enough to pay my first year of school but I would need to earn enough for rent and other needs.

I truly did love my new home. It was a cute one bedroom flat that sat above a quaint little bakery, the perfect size for a single student to feel comfortable. I loved how bright and airy it was during the day with its cream walls, white cabinets and light colored wood flooring. It helped to take away some of the tension I had felt since leaving home, not all but enough that I could function during my hours away from work.

I hadn't really made any friends here yet. My first semester at school wouldn't start until the spring as I had wanted to have some time to feel comfortable in my new home before immersing myself in stress of schoolwork and the people who I worked with seemed nice enough but I guess my quiet closed demeanor had stopped them from trying to reach out to me.

Margie, the woman who ran the bakery below my apartment tried whenever I would stop in, which I did a lot of because the maple scones especially were out of this world, to make me feel welcome with her bright cheery conversation, but even she had become a bit quieter toward me lately. I guess she started to give up on trying to crack my wall of ice.

I did like Margie though and wished I could open up more toward her but every time I tried to force myself to, I would just feel the loss and hurt from my past resurface and my wall go back up. She reminded me a lot of Alice who had been like a sister to me, the way she constantly bounced around cheerfully as if every part of her day was bright and new and full of excitement. I really did need someone like that in my life right again. Someone who could bring a little light back into my life.

I lifted my head from where it still was pressed into my hands and wiped the tears away. I sat up straight and rolled my shoulders back in determination as I decided then and there, that I would force myself to put the hurt from my past behind me where it belonged and make an effort to be happy again. I got up from my spot on the forest bench and headed back toward home. I was suddenly in the mood for a scone.

A.N.

Okay, so I know your all probably wondering why I never mentioned Bella finding out about the werewolves. I do have a reason for this that will come later on in the story. She has seen them before, in the meadow where she ran into Laurent, but I'm just not ready yet for her to find out what those huge wolves really were. None of the events after her confrontation with Jacob happened in my story the way they had in New Moon...Hope you guys don't mind...Once again thank you all so much for reading! And as always please R&R while you think about the happy dance you'll be causing me to do!