Redeeming Light
Chapter 2 - Hallucinations, nightmares, And Realities
xxxxxxxx So how did he behave, Lord Jin?" the soothsayer asked, reluctance in her voice. The elder peacock hesitated. That was enough to make the goat groan. "He didn't misbehave, per say. He was just...very closed up. I mean, with that child it's normal since he's having trouble adjusting to us. He shunned every attempt I made at conversation and to engage him in things." "I'm afraid that was my doing." The soothsayer's voice was full of grating guilt. "It's a long story. The prince is very mad at me, and with reason to be." She didn't feel like talking, so she stopped Jin before he could ask anything. "Where's the little one now?" "He should be outside," Jin smiled. "He loves to play near the well." They reached the beautiful palace courtyard, where they suspected to find the tiny chick playing in the flowers; chasing his ball or – since it was one of his bad days – glaring disdainfully at his white reflection. Nothing. "That's odd.." The soothsayer couldn't shake the terrible feeling twisting in her stomach. "He doesn't normally stray further than the flower beds." That's when they heard it: the unmistakable child's cry, stifled and echoing from somewhere. A tunnel? A cave? A tube? It was bouncing off stone walls. Stone walls... The goat bolted to the well, moving considerably fast for someone her age. Of course, mother instincts allowed you to do the seemingly impossible. He was there, clinging to his tattered ball that had obviously fallen into the well, and him following suit. He was crying, dirt streaked, and shivering as he scrambled at the walls with his wings. "Nana! Baba!" The soothsayer's hooves weren't sure where to go: her heart, before she shortly died of a heart attack, or to her face in horror. "He-he's in the well!" Jin looked absolutely horrified. "How'd he get down THERE?" "You tell me!" the goat roared at him, forgetting for a second that she was talking to her lord and superior. "I leave him with you for merely a half hour and come back to find my chick at the bottom of a WELL!" No one ever rebuked her for calling Shen her chick; he was more her's than he was his own parents' anyways. "Sheng Li, how in the world did you even get down there!" He was having a hard time getting anything out through his cries. "T-the ball!" he sobbed. "M-mah ball went down in the well!" "Why didn't you ask your Baba to help you get it?" his nanny cried. For a moment, the chick's teary red eyes darkened. He glared at the water when he remembered his nanny's unintentional and misinterpreted comment of "being a bit weaker than the other peacocks". He wiped his eyes and shouted up at her, "I could do it MYSELF!" The old goat sighed heavily, grating guilt in her voice. Why did she have to say that earlier? Why couldn't she have worded it better? Shen wouldn't be down there if it wasn't for her. Thundering Rhino rushed over the moment he heard Shen crying. He had his cloud hammer handy, scooped the chick out with it. Jin had been mildly disappointed when Shen reached for the soothsayer, rather than him. The rhino had dried him, carefully inspecting to see if he had any wounds on him. He spoke in hushed whispers with the soothsayer, asking for her permission to take the boy in for a day, try him in Kung Fu lessons. Of course, that would be a big mistake. But the rhino would live to know that.
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Oh, Shen had loved the old rhino dearly as he grew up. It dawned on him now that the primary reason for that love that Shen never could figure out was because the rhino was one of the only people that Shen really knew that didn't treat him as weak and fragile as an infant.
Being an albino peacock with...well, an immune system like an infant's, Shen had grown bitterly accustomed to the "special treatments" given to him. Every being that ever came in contact with him treated him like he could shatter into a million pieces if touched.
Shen groaned. His head was pulsating with pain, like every molecule of blood had drained from his clawed feet and to his brain. He shut his eyes against the pain, but that only made his eyelids forced to press up against his warm forehead, which caused further discomfort.
It was going to be one of those days, wasn't it? The kind of day where his stoic and flawless body regressed back to the weak and vulnerability it had when he was a chick; the kind of day where he would feel like a chick, bedridden, groggy, stuffy. Well, not if he had anything to say about it.
He pushed himself up against the pain and dizziness, carefully opening his eyes as slowly as he could. Colors blurred for a moment, before dimly focusing as much as they could into a bleary picture that hurt to look at.
"Shen?"
He jumped, groaning and touching his forehead as he did. "Ugh. What?" His eyes narrowed when he recognized the soft childish chime. "What are you even doing out of your cage?" he snapped at the kitten.
Carefully, Kurisu stepped in. She smiled at him. "Nana let me out."
For a moment, the peacock said nothing as he processed what she just called the soothsayer with his sick brain. (In more ways than one.)
"What," he hissed, "did you just call the old goat?" There was a dangerous tone to his voice, but Kurisu sensed more than that. Jealousy?
"The soothsayer asked me to call her Nana," the kitten said quietly. She watched his eyes narrow further, but he said nothing. So, she continued. "Are you hungry?"
The mention of food sent Shen's stomach into a painful twist, and one that surged the threat of vomit up his throat. He closed his eyes and laid back down.
"Are you alright?" Oh there was that annoyingly concerned voice, and Shen could see the kitten examining him, head titled in worry.
"I'm fine," he growled out quietly, really just wanting to be left alone if the kitten was merciful enough to grace him with that wish. "Tell the soothsayer that I'm not hungry."
"...You're not fine," came the girl's cynically doubtful voice. She was just like the soothsayer: able to see through his pathetic lies. That just made Shen hate her even more.
"I am well enough to stab a blade into that ugly blue eye of yours," he growled, annoyed when she didn't look intimidated, but amused. He closed his eyes again, relieved when he heard her tiny little feet finally leave the room.
Not oh, a minute later, hooves entered the room.
The peacock looked up at his nanny, then glared at the kitten at her side. "You told on me?"
She just smirked.
Within a few seconds of examining her chick, making him stick out his tongue; checking his fever; making him do a walking test – which he failed miserably and slammed back into his nest – the soothsayer deemed him ill and ordered him to stay in bed until he was better.
Shen snarled at her. "Are you crazy? Where in that thick head of yours do you feel you still have authority over m-"
She stopped him right there, leaning into his face with wide angry eyes. Every word of hers was slightly punctuated and drawn out as a threat.
"You're...staying...in...bed." That was the mom look. Shen knew from painful butt warming experiences – not that he feared she had the audacity to do just that - that you do not fight the mom look.
"..." He slumped back down without another word.
The soothsayer's voice was gentle now, nurturing. "Sleep, Shen. We'll come check on you in a bit."
Sleep, he did not welcome. Sleep, his body welcomed. Little did he know that after this experience, his subconscious wouldn't ever welcome sleep again.
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The dream started off as very familiar. Oh yes, this was when he had tried to run away from home when he was four. Shen remembered it all clearly. He had been a little hell raiser that night, dashing about as all tots are apt to do when they're sentenced to a bath before bed. He remembered climbing up the mantel near the fireplace, stubbornly perching there and refusing to get down, despite the soothsayer's hurled threats. He remembered being set down, red faced, red bummed, and crying, sternly ordered to go to bed. Which he refused, and she had carried him to his room and spanked him again. He told her that he was going to run away and she had taught him a cruel lesson as she packed him up and sent him into the night. In the dream, he was wandering around the boundaries of Gongmen like he had been when he was young. The soothsayer following secretly, watching to make sure he didn't step into any danger. He cried quietly for his Nana with every loud noise and scary shadow. He approached the crocodile river and cried harder when one of the beasts leered at him. But something was wrong. The reptiles weren't ignoring him in the dream like they had been when he was four. No, they were coming after him. He tried to scream and run back to Nana because he knew she was there, but they grabbed him, tore at his feathers. He screamed more and realized he was now an adult; a sick and weak peacock that should be in bed, but he wasn't. He was crying in the dream – he didn't cry, did he? The panda? When did he get here? He was helping the crocodiles tear at him. And Shen was crying and scrambling to get out of the water and the blood. But he couldn't. Nana! Kitten! Oh gods – someone help me!
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Shen screamed in the dream, unsure if he could be heard as he woke up. Yes, his throat was hurting. He had screamed in reality. He was sweating and he felt someone's hand on his chest.
Nana?
No, no, it was that insufferable kitten again! Of course, seeing anyone in this nightmarish hour was welcomed so Shen didn't snarl at her to go away. Did he even have the voice to do that? He flinched when he felt the child feel his forehead.
"Your fever is still really high," Kurisu told him, keeping a gentle paw on his tummy. "You've been out for two days. Nana went out to get some medicine. I told her I'd look after you." She smiled at him. "How are you feeling, Shen?"
If he had the energy to scream at her for such a ridiculous question, he would have. Or perhaps stuck something through her lips to finally shut them. He only glared at her, hoping to intimidate her, but he failed.
"You don't scare me." Her face and tone didn't say otherwise either. Was he really that un-threatening when he was sick? Had he lost his touch? Or was the kitten just..comfortable with him?
Shen moaned, which sounded like a dying croak – as he turned onto his side, wrapping his wings around him. He realized he was in a very light and thin robe. The soothsayer must have changed him out of his heavy robes while he was unconscious.
"You've been hallucinating a lot," the kitten told him, laying a cool cloth on his burning forehead. "They must have been bad because you did a lot of thrashing and yelling, and you were whimpering."
The peacock closed his eyes. How embarrassing. Was he really that bad at controlling his reactions to his subconsciousness?
"Nana should be back soon," Kurisu told him kindly, pushing a glass of water into his slightly open beak. "Get some rest."
He was afraid to.
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This dream – no -hallucination started out a lot different. They weren't morphed imaged of what happened in the past. He and Nana – and the kitten? - were behind Dao-ming temple by the waterfall that Shen always loved to look at on the balcony. What were they doing? They were PLAYING? This wasn't the past, and it certainly wasn't the future – Shen did not play with anyone! ...But he was. Kurisu was laughing and chasing at his tail, jumping on his tail like the kitten she was. Shen watched himself, waiting to see if he'd pin her to the tree with a blade or at least threaten to kill the child, but he didn't. He merely did something Po would probably do – grab her by her tail and lightly toss her into the waterfall with a small smirk. She leaped back out at him again, back to his tail. Nibbling on it. OH, how dare that little brat! Get her disgusting kitten saliva over his beautiful and perfect feathered tail. He waited to see if he'd slash her with something, but he only grabbed her by her feet to trip her. Nana came in at this point; she gave him a tickling poke in the side to throw him off balance, which she The sun went away, clouded by a thousand black clouds all at once. Shadows loomed towards the three; Nana pushed Kurisu behind her, and Shen pushed them The shadows attacked. They weren't going after him, they were going after Nana and Kurisu! And they weren't ordinary shadows: they were Thundering Rhino and his Wolf boss! Was that Mama and Baba there too? They were clawing, tearing, biting, kicking at Kurisu and Nana. They didn't deserve that! If the shadows were looking to punish him, why go after them? Mama! Baba! Master-! Stop-! Leave them alone!
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Shen awoke with a painful gag and a cough, sweating and almost screaming. The soothsayer was there, a hand on his head to calm him and check the fever.
"Calm down, dear. You're alright..." She was using the soft Nana voice that he rarely heard from her. "Your fever is still quite high. Go back to sleep..."
Shen still couldn't talk, but he shook his head. He wasn't ever going to sleep again.
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(Not much to say here other than "will do longer description after exams")