Previously:

Madara glanced up from his clipboard as the door to his gym slammed open, Itachi in it's wake.

Itachi walked towards Madara, however, due to the fact there was about 30-40 feet between them this took a while.

"Hustle!" Madara pumped a fist into the air. Instead, Itachi stopped and crossed his arms.

"You touched my bitch." He growled lowly, his voice ending on a hiss.

Madara smirked "You're bitch? He screamed rape when you kissed him…I don't recall him doing that when I gave him a little smooch on the cheek, unlike you, I have enough self-control not to try to slam into him, feeling those slim hips buckle as I shove my dick deep into his virgin flesh…Mmm…" Madara licked his lips at the wet dreams plaguing him at night.

Itachi twitched. Ladies and Gentleman, it's been proven that it possible to be aroused and pissed at the same time. The leather pants didn't help much either.

"Take it I'm right?"

"Pedophilic son of a motherfucking bitch." Itachi hissed, eyes narrowing even more.

"Now, now, is that anyway to greet your uncle? Come on, if your allowed to be attracted to that hot piece of under-aged ass, why can't I? However…" he added, at the deadly look Itachi gave him "If you find anyone closer to my age that resembles either of those boys you and little Sasuke seem so eager to fuck against the nearest solid object, I'll back off." He crossed his arms and smirked at Itachi "Deal?"

"…Deal."

May: Never deal with Madara, XD.

Chapter 3: Ukes, Semes, and Smukes. Oh, My!

Naruto screamed, kicked, and downright cried as Sasuke carried him off to Lord knows where. "Sasuke! Let me go! I don't want to have sex with you!" he blinked when Sasuke opened a door to a janitor's closet, carrying the doomed blonde in.

"Shush, don't worry. You're a virgin, right? It feels so good Naru-chan, you'll be so delighted, you'll want me in you again and again…" Sasuke licked his lips.

"Eww!!! This is disgusting to talk about! Where do you get this stuff from?" Naruto squeaked, jumping when Sasuke tugged on his pants in suggestive manner.

"Pops up in my head occasionally between the dirty thoughts about you…" Sasuke purred back, rubbing against Naruto's crotch with his own. He let out a soft groan "Nnn…Naruto." He gasped, bumping his hips against the sexually dazed blonde.

"UCHIHA. SASUKE." said brunette froze.

'Shit.'

There was one person that the Uchiha brothers stayed away from when dealing in the constant business of dominating their ukes' asses.

The Demon.

The Grim Reaper.

The Jack the Ripper of any and all Semes out for Uzumaki Kyuubi and Naruto's affection...and asses.

Uzumaki Kushina.

Their mother.

Sasuke choked when the woman, with her iron grip, grabbed him by the collar and yanked back, hard.

Kushina, eyes wild, and flowing, long red hair streaming out behind her like a flame, chucked Sasuke out of the closet, sending him clear across the hallway, slamming against the wall before sliding into a trashcan. She examined him for movement, tilting her head to the side before turning to fret over a stumbling Naruto, who was set on getting the fuck out of there.

"My poor baby! Don't worry! Mommy's here and that stupid chicken ass-gelled hair freak won't dare mess with you!" Kushina hugged Naruto to her bosom, rubbing his back soothingly.

"What about Kyuu-nii?" Naruto pondered aloud.

"Oh, your father's taking care of that, now lets go! I brought ramen!" Kushina started ushering Naruto away.

"…mom? When the last time I told you I loved you?"

"The last time I bought you ramen." Kushina replied cheerfully.

"Just checking!"

"M-Madara-sensei!" Kyuubi yanked free of his teacher's grip, a fierce blush on his face. "That's- That's just..!" he shoved his shirt back over his lower torso. "Just…just give me my book please!" he squeaked out when the teacher stood up and walked casually over to him.

"Itachi likes to speak in Shakespeare to you." Madara stated blankly.

Kyuubi blinked, tilting his head to the side "Huh?"

"Is it because you secretly have a thing for his work?" Madara idly ran his finger against the spine of a book off his desk labeled Romeo and Juliet. Kyuubi stiffened slightly, holding out his hand cautiously.

In one quick movement, Madara seized Kyuubi's hand and brushed his lips over the top of it. "I believe one of his sayings include how a kiss is like fire and powder, and how they consume, correct?" he chuckled when Kyuubi nodded, body still rigid. "Do you think of our first kiss when you read that line, Kyuu-chan?" he purred, watching the red head pale before yanking his hand free and snatching the book from Madara's grasp. He watched the red head grab his bags and make his way to the door "Kyuubi…" he called out "We both know it'll break Itachi's heart when he finds out your heart is mine."

"…What do you want?" Kyuubi questioned quietly, his bangs covering his eyes completely.

"Nothing, just a thought…nice ass by the way!." Madara added, Kyuubi blushing beet red before sprinting down the hallway at mach 5.

Kyuubi stumbled into the main hallway, into Itachi's worried arms.

"Kyuubi-chan?" Itachi supported the flushed red head "Hey, what's wrong?" he stroked back the strands of ruby locks from Kyuubi's face.

"Itachi? Oh, nothing, nothing." Kyuubi straightened, brushing off imaginary dust from his shirt and pants.

Itachi studied him for a bit more before smirking dangerously. "Oh then, did you know the school is thinking of doing Romeo and Juliet for the Winter Festival?" he questioned, watching in amusement as Kyuubi's face lit up.

"Really?!" Kyuubi asked in a breathless whisper "Who's playing who?! Could you take me?! I really-wait…" he processed what he'd just said.

"Of course Kyuubi darling, I'd be glad to take you, however I was hoping you'd be in it…" Itachi grinned at the confused look on Kyuubi's face. "Kyuu-chan…" he whispered, taking Kyuubi's hands in his own and leaning forward till his forehead was resting against a stunned red head's "…will you be my Juliet?" he purred, staring into those crimson orbs.

"…eh? EH?!" Kyuubi gasped, yanking his hands free and covering his mouth with it. "M-me?! I'M A GUY!" he screeched, flailing his arms wildly, a few students stopping to stare at him. "I can't be Juliet!" he cried, thoroughly panicked.

"But Kyuubi-kun…" one of the girls in the crowd piped up "You made a wonderful Wendy back in middle school!" she giggled, a few more people joining in on the laughter.

"Besides!" another student added laughingly. "You and your little brother could help each with your lines!" he laughter only grew when Kyuubi stared at him blankly. "Dude, he's Cinderella for the Winter Festival!" he cackled, very close to falling on the ground.

Kyuubi felt very, very faint, so faint that he didn't notice Itachi grope him as he was led back to the Main Office where apparently his dad was waiting.

May: Younger Kyuubi as Wendy from Peter Pan, XDDD. Madara and Kyuubi know each other from their pasts, XD. And Itachi doesn't give a flying fuck about it!

Note: Cinderella will be coming first because I have no clue what Romeo and Juliet is about, we're covering it this semester I think, so when the school system teaches the story to me, then I'll screw with it and make it crack yaoi! Sorry Shakespeare!