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Ch. 3
Lulu's POV
It's been four weeks since I've spoken to Dante and five since he's been gone. I miss him so much, it's almost intolerable. Every night I go to sleep dreaming of him beside me, his strong arms wrapped around me and his hands resting on my belly. My worst fear is that this dream will never come true. How can he stay away for this long? No doubt he knows about the baby because now that Johnny and Olivia are back together, I'm sure she's told Dante that I am indeed pregnant. This is probably why he's stayed gone for this long, he can't deal with the fact that I'm going to have a baby that may or may not be his.
I know in my heart that this baby is his; at least that's what my heart is trying to tell my brain. It doesn't matter that the doctor says I'm six weeks along, and that awful night happens to be six weeks ago. The thing is, I know the fact that I'm pregnant isn't the only reason he's gone. I've betrayed him in the worst possible way. I kept my heart at arm's length for so long because I was afraid to trust HIM and I turn out to be the one that hurts the other one worse.
Johnny has been amazing these past five weeks. He calls to check on me when he notices the days I don't go into the haunted star to help with things, and he sends Olivia over with casseroles to make sure I'm eating. The first time that happened, it sure was weird. I ended up bawling my eyes out the second I saw her because I felt so awful in helping to destroy their relationship too. Come to find out, they were on the outs and after this happened Olivia decided that she couldn't handle not being with Johnny. She accepted Johnny back into her hear and back into her life with all of his faults, including me and the unborn baby that may be his. How strange this must be for her, here I am carrying an amazing little person that might be her grandchild but on the other hand it could turn out to be her stepchild instead. I'm just so glad that Olivia and I are okay after all of this because besides the amazing person she is, her casseroles are delicious!
I'm pretty sure the reason Johnny has been so great these past few weeks is because he feels bad. His relationship is actually better than it ever has been because they missed each other so much, and mine is over. Johnny knows that we'll never be anything but friends and if need be happy co-parents. He knows that even if he wanted anything more with me, my heart will always belong to Dante. Now I just need to prove this to Dante and see if he'd ever forgive me and give us another chance.
I've been really good about not bugging him or texting him and trying to see where he is and when he's coming home but I can't last much longer. I want the love of my life back and I'm not going to give up on him, ever. I know that I probably owe it to him to leave him alone and allow him the chance to find happiness somewhere else, but hell.. I'm Lulu Spencer and nobody tells me what I should or shouldn't do.
This is it, this is the night that I will ask him where he is and if he can find it in his heart to come back to me and at least talk things out.
I grab my cell phone and text "Hey...How are you?" and wait for a reply.
I'm trying to be strong, I really am but sitting here staring at the phone waiting to see if he'll give me the time of day is driving me crazy.
"I'm okay, where are you?" is what I see light up my screen.
What does he mean where am I? Where is he, he's the one that has left and isn't coming back. Wait! Maybe he's back and wants to see me, or maybe he's just checking up and seeing if I'm with Johnny again. Really when someone is gone for five weeks a lot can happen. Oh my gosh, what if he's completely over me and wants to end things permanently...I suddenly can't breathe.
"I'm at home, any chance I can see you soon? I miss you every day, and I'm so sorry about everything...I really am." I know I sound pathetic right now, but I just need to see him. If he wants to break up with me and take the ring back and officially kick me out of our loft that I've been staying in, then he needs to come back and do it in person.
"I think that's a good idea, I need to see you too. We need to talk.." There it is, Dante has confirmed my fears. With one text telling me that he needs to talk, my insides are flipping out and I don't know what direction my life is about to turn. My fiancé that left me physically five weeks ago is about to come back to leave me emotionally for good.
"Dante, I can't handle this. What are you thinking? I don't want to wait anymore, I need to know what's going to happen to us. I love you D, and I can't face the unknown." Okay, now I'm going against everything I've been taught. Don't beg to be loved by anyone, if you have to beg than it's not worth it. The difference is that Dante's love is worth anything and I'm not going to let him get rid of me, without a fight.
"Baby, calm down. It's going to be okay, I miss you too. I'm actually in town and want to come see you. Can I come over?" Duh, what did he think...I'm going to beg to see him and then say no when he wants to come over to the house that's in his name in the first place.
"Please do, I'll be waiting." Oh my gosh, this is really happening. Dante, my Dante is coming home to me. I suddenly realize that if he doesn't know that I'm pregnant, he's about to find out. I may only be six weeks along but this kid must be a giant football player or something because I already have a little belly sticking out, it's crazy.
I sat on the couch for a while just sitting there happy that he was on his way and then I realized how I looked. Holy crap, how could I let him see me like this. I raced into the bathroom, brushed my hair and teeth, shaved my legs real quick and slathered on some makeup. Ran into our bedroom and threw on my favorite Juicy Couture sweat suit with matching socks and returned to the couch and flipped through magazines until I heard the knock.
It feels so weird for him to be knocking at his own door. This wasn't just our place, it was his. He bought it from the landlord six months before I even moved in with him, so why in the world is he knocking.
I open the door and am blown away by how sexy he looks standing in the doorway, with a bunch of flowers in his hand.
"Hey beautiful, these are for you." Dante says to me as he gives me his million dollar grin.
"Dante why are you bringing me flowers? I'm the one that should be begging you to even talk to me! I've ruined everything and now here you are at the door being all handsome and perfect with a dozen roses in your hand!" I'm just rambling by now. Not that I don't love that he brought flowers but I don't deserve them.
"Lulu, stop! If you want to talk about this and see what can or can't happen, then stop blaming yourself and let's just see what happens. I love you baby and we're gonna figure this out," He says this as he puts the flowers on the table and grabs my hands. We stare at each other for the longest time and then I can't help myself.
I lean in and kiss him half expecting him to pull away or stop me, but he doesn't. We share the sweetest kiss we've ever had, and just completely enjoy having our lips connected again after so long.
After what seemed to be forever, I stepped back and smiled. Pulling him with me, I go to the couch and sit down. We have a lot to talk about and I still fear that he won't accept our new reality, but for the first time in a while I feel like everything's going to work out.
