Deidara's Troubles

By Magewriter

Chapter 3

Well, as I was writing this (feels so weird writing this in the past tense) I hadn't checked the last chapter with Pockles, so the plot may be different from its original version.

Disclaimer: I don't own any stuff by the writer or animators of Naruto. Suzimi is the best!

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The next morning, when Deidara woke up, he didn't really feel any better. He might have, except that he had found himself to be on the very edge of his mattress, and when he had tried to pull himself up, his arm had given out and the recoil had sent him crashing to the floor.

He dragged himself back up onto the bed, but it was hard because his hands wouldn't work right.

Then Zetsu came.

"Deidara, What are you doing? We're trying to photosynthesize outside." "Yes, it's a beautiful day."

"I'm sick. I fell off the bed. Leave me alone, Zetsu-san. Your idea of a good day is hot and wet, and I hate that." Deidara didn't like to sound whiny, but he was sick.

"Very well." "Let's be going. It's nearly noon." "Oh. Well, in that case, we should get back outside, shouldn't we?" "Yes, we should."

Deidara didn't know why, but Zetsu had always creeped him out just a bit. Maybe it was the double personality, or the venus flytrap, or the cannibalism… Was it cannibalism? Zetsu couldn't exactly be called "human."

He walked into the kitchen. By using the wall as a support, he managed to go fairly steadily. After breakfast, he decided that he would try to sweat it out.

He had intended to try to make himself some miso (the concentrated miso was still in the fridge; the pot they made the actual wonder-soup in had been taken out and cleaned to provide fridge space) and he felt so good about himself that he stated it aloud. "Now, I'm going to go make myself some miso, yeah."

He did.

It was delicious. In the hall, he grabbed as many blankets as he could carry (this being limited to a down comforter and a woven blanket; he's not all that strong right now) and lay them down on his bed. He was tired then, but he persisted, trying to get more blankets. However, he sort of stumbled sideways into Sasori's room and fell asleep halfway on Sasori's bed.

When Sasori found him, he was asleep.

"Deidara?! What are you doing on my bed? Can't I come looking for my book without you getting in my way?"

"Huh? Sasori-danna, why am I in your room?"

"I don't know! Go back to your own!"

So Deidara did. Then he remembered why he had been outside of his room and went to get more blankets. He got three woven blankets and came back to his room to find Sasori's blankets on his bed. "Sasori-danna, thank you, yeah!"

"Not like I want your sick germs on my bed! Now I have to change it!"

"Well, still, thank you, yeah."

Deidara spread the blankets over his bed (rather clumsily; he didn't need to do that good of a job for this) and stripped down to his boxers. If he was going to sweat out a fever, he didn't want his clothes right next to his skin.

He heard Sasori changing his bed, then footsteps coming into his room. He pulled his head farther under the covers when he saw that it was Sasori, carrying the same spoon as the day before.

When Sasori did this, however, he seemed to act completely different from how he would normally be. He seemed almost… kind.

"Deidara, I know you don't like this, but it's sort of your fault for getting our tongue stuck to an iron bar and standing out in the cold for twenty minutes."

"No, yeah." It was a basic refusal: no to the notion that he needed anything more than his blankets, no to the medicine, no to Sasori giving it to him, and no to a fiasco like the one the day before.

"Deidara… Listen. I don't want something to happen like yesterday. But, if it has to happen, it has to happen. Is there some way I can make this easier?"

"No, yeah."

"Then, you have to put up with this." He unscrewed the cap. As he poured the red, sticky medicine into the spoon, he said, "Open wide, Deidara. This only had to take a few seconds."

"No, yeah."

"Sit up. It won't take long. And you're stronger now. You can swallow it, so it won't just be hanging around in your mouth the entire time."

"I said no and I meant it, yeah!" Deidara recoiled, completely under the blankets. Meanwhile, Sasori couldn't stand to be nice to him anymore. He folded the sheets back on themselves, exposing all of Deidara but his feet and ankles.

"Take it, Deidara!"

"No, ye – Aah!" He had used the opportunity of Deidara yelling to cram the spoon into his mouth.

"What if I give it to your hands?"

Deidara's head perked up; he was obviously thinking.

"That's a great idea, yeah! …Because they can't taste, yeah!"

So it ended up that Deidara's hands took the medicine and they could avoid the yelling and screaming.

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…So, Pockles is sitting here next to me and we're going to have a sleepover! She says, "Hi, peoples!" and I say that's noteworthy. She's been a wonderful help keeping my characters in-character, and she even said that I did a good job with their personalities! In actuality, I just wikipedia'd them, but… maybe it helps that I'm the daughter of a psychologist. I don't know. But, this is turning out to be hilarious!

I changed this around entirely. Because, you see, originally Pockles said that, to justify Itachi being so nice, he slipped something into Deidara's miso in the first chapter that made him sick, but I say it's more fun if it's an actual illness because now we can have scenes where Sasori is trying to shove medicine into Deidara's mouth.