Endings: part 3
Disclaimer: Zell's not mine, Squall's not mine. Those lucky bastards at Squaresoft own them. *swoons * What I wouldn't give to own them though.
Author's note: This is the third part of the story. And I have to warn there is some yaoi. It doesn't last long but if that bugs you don't read it. *sheepish smile* Anyway, there's some violence as well. That should be it. So, if you aren't scared to death now. Read on!
Cold. The pane of glass was cold under his fingertips. It cooled his skin but it didn't stop there. The cold moved over his hand, into his muscles, and chilled his very blood. The blue of his eyes crystallized until it felt like if he blinked they would shatter and melt down his cheeks in a sick display of tears.
Shaking his head, he moved away from the glass. Fog from his fingers left smudges on the window. They dissipated, slowly, as if resisting. 'Stop this!' Hastily, Zell pushed away from the window and the endless black of night. Nimble fingers ran through damp blonde hair. H moved the feathery locks of silk out of his face and sat on the bed. 'Damn it Dincht, you are 17 years old. You've had your self-doubt and the thought of death has been overpowering. But you do NOT go into hysterics over dreams. They aren't real…' The blonde head raised and clear blue eyes stared at the white of the wall. "But they feel so real…"
His voice sounded alien. A voice of an emotionally drained boy who was afraid to close his eyes, yet couldn't keep them open. "Dreams Dincht…dreams…" The whisper echoed into the room as a thundering knock sounded. Jolting in his seat, Zell tumbled off the bed. The knock came again and the petite martial artist scrambled off the floor towards his door.
He opened the door and stared into dark hazel eyes. "Uh…hi Squall," he scratched the back of his head as the young commander looked back at him with an intense expression.
"Zell." He nodded and crossed his arms. Zell stared at the youth and waited for an answer to an unasked question. When none came, he spoke up.
"So, what's it ya want, Squall?" he shifted his weight on his feet. Squall looked Zell over and quickly averted his eyes from the silk boxers that the blonde was clothed in.
"I wanted to remind you about our trip to Balamb tomorrow." Leather creaked as he shifted, "I didn't know you would be in bed already."
Looking down, Zell blushed, "Sorry. I just got out of the shower like five minutes ago…"
"No need to apologize," the scarred youth managed a small smile, "just a reminder."
Zell returned the smile, "Thanks." He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "So, I'll se ya tomorrow."
"Yeah…" Squall ran a gloved hand through his hair. "Sleep well." He turned on his heel and headed down the hallway.
"I sure hope so…" Zell muttered as he shut the door and padded over to the bed. Sitting down, he closed his eyes. His heart fluttered against his chest. With a shake of his head he fell among the warm blankets. 'God Zell, you are so pathetic. He's your best friend. Why is your heart beating so hard? Ah! Stop acting like a love sick puppy.' Heaving a great sigh, he flung an arm over his eyes and fumbled for the light switch.
A click and the room plunged into darkness. "Sweet dreams," he said to an empty room, "If only."
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Outside the wind began to blow across the Quad. Leaves danced over the barren ground. The darkness clouded around everything and as tendrils draped across trees and benches a single figure stood apart. Almost a shadow itself, long strands of dark blue hair whipped around a strong face. The tails of a black trench coat flapped against muscular legs. The figure tilted its head up to a singular window, a square of light. As the shining light faded from the glass, malicious violet eyes sparkled and a smile twisted onto the pale face. In a voice soft as velvet the figure grinned, "Sweet dreams."
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Soft candlelight seeped through veined eyelids. Blinking, he shifted his weight. The almost inaudible sound of bedsprings creaking and he ran his hand over smooth silk sheets. Strands of blonde hair flitted over his face. Brushing them away, blue eyes scanned the surroundings. Candles stood in various places around the room, on a bookcase, a table, on the stone floor. A great window was opened to the night and the candle flames flickered hypnotically. Confused brows drew together, "Where am I?"
"Here…" Jumping, Zell spun around in the bed. Leaning against the wall, in a long sleeved white shirt that billowed in the slight breeze that wafted through the window, was Squall. Shadows played off his handsome face as he smiled gently at Zell. Blue eyes widened.
"Squall?" He stepped slowly off the bed as Squall moved forward. He kneeled onto the bed and looked at Zell.
"Yes?" He smiled, his lips curling over white teeth that sparkled in the candlelight. With a nervous step, Zell scooted further off the bed.
"Where is here? Why am I here?"
"You're here because I want you to be." Squall reached out his hand and slid his fingers up Zell's cold arm. The hairs shot upward, the tiny touches sending shivers through Zell's body. He looked down into the hazel eyes; dark with some emotion Zell had never seen before in them.
"Why?" He squeaked as Squall yanked his arm, pulling him onto the silk sheets of the bed. The scarred man straddled his waist and smiled down at him. His hand moved up to caress the tattoo on his face.
"Need you ask?" Zell's mind screamed. This wasn't right. Yet his body felt like it was on fire. Every nerve was on end. His breathing quickened.
"Squall…" he stopped talking when the nimble fingers were laid across his petal pink lips.
"Shhh…" the young commander leaned over and pressed his lips to Zell's. Crystal blue eyes widened in surprise and then slowly, with the gentle caress of Squall's lips, slip closed. Time seemed to stop. All figures froze; the candle flames stopped flickering, the curtains fluttering. Then as the moment stopped and the warm velvet of Squall's lips disappeared, Zell opened his eyes. He smiled up at Squall and lifted a hand to cup the young man's face.
A storm cloud passed over the hazel eyes and with a feral grin he latched his hand around Zell's wrist. With a harsh shove, he threw it onto the bed and captured the other one, pushing them above the blonde's head.
"Huh?" Fear started to seep into his thoughts. What's going on? Confused eyes looked up at the dark haired man. "Squall what are you…" he winced at the pain that was blossoming on his cheek. A laugh caught his attention and Zell turned his head back toward the man above him. The once soft, comforting hand was upraised, readying itself for another blow. The blonde began to panic. "Squall! What are you doing?" He squirmed under the weight on his abdomen
"Shut up!" The slap came quickly, so quickly that Zell clamped his mouth shut. Crying out, he bucked on the bed. White-hot pain flooded through his body as the copper tasting liquid filled his mouth. Scorching pain-filled eyes stared up at the fury above. "What," the voice laced with venom, "makes you think that I would love you? Your parents didn't want you…they left you to die…you disgusted them. What makes you think that I would want you? You are nothing!"
Salty tears filled the crystal eyes, threatening to spill as the small blonde stared, petrified. "What? Fight back!" Pain. The fist slammed against his cheek, blood splattered over cracking lips. Candles flames danced, a powerful wind picking up in the room as the knuckles slammed against the tattooed face again and again. "You little wuss…fight back!" Hair flitted over the scarred face as the wind blew hard. Soon the roar of the winds drowned out all words.
Crimson seeped through cuts, down bruising flesh and into open eyes. His mind was whirling like the wind around him. Thoughts and feelings being thrown around the caverns of his mind, all mixing together until it was a single blare of sound and color. He opened his mouth, his hands going over his face. "STOP!"
Zell curled up on the bed, blood
mixing with tears on the sheets. The white fabric slowly changed color.
Splotches of red spread like a wave. The last candle flickered and the room
plunged into darkness. Silence lay like a blanket over everything. Sobs. Tears
spilled over cheeks and into clenched fists.
He
felt alone, utterly alone. Pain seeped through his body, the physical pain not
as penetrating as the harsh words beat into his psyche over and over again.
'Why?' Painfully he dragged his knees to his chest and shivered in the wind
that blew around him. He could feel the fabric of his shirt billowing. He tried
to clear his mind but the words stayed. Lingering like acid on his mind.
"Oh god…." He stumbled over the words as a knot formed in his throat. How could it hurt this much? Was it simply the words or was it more? Somewhere inside of him, Zell knew that those words were his fear. 'Am I that bad? Am I worth anything? Love? Kindness?' A sob escaped his constricted throat. "Why???" He wanted to scream, to lash out, to break down and die. 'Just make it end!'
He didn't notice the weight shift, the creaking, or the warm hand on his shoulder until he was pulled into an embrace. "Don't!" he sobbed harder as the strong hand soothed circles on his back. In a feeble attempt he struggled against the hard body that held him easily, like a child.
If there were words, none of them were heard, just the soft velvet, caressing, soothing. Red rimmed eyes opened and looked up into darkened violet eyes, crackling with electricity. The whites of the blonde's eyes swam in as the lids widened. Gasping, he backed away from the strong arms holding him. "You…" his voice was a whisper. The small blonde braced himself for the resistance from the other participant. But the arms just let him slip free and crouch on the bed. For a few seconds they just looked at each other. No words, no movements, just the faint crackle of candles lighting again and the soft laboring breathes that wracked his petite frame.
"Why?" Startled, blue eyes met violet.
"What?"
"Why do you let them treat you like that? Don't you ever want that to change? Make them pay for what they do? What they say? What you know they're thinking?" Zell stared hard at the man in front of him. These questions…he had heard them before. The same bitterness behind them, the same fire in the eyes. Where? 'Me…these are my questions.'
" I…I…" he shivered. 'I never answered them…ever.' The violet eyes warmed and the sculpted lips twisted into a smile.
"You can change that…you can be more than they could ever imagine. Change the world. Make it better. You have it in you. I know…they hate you," blue eyes bore holes into the muscled jaw, "They think you're nothing, scum." Something within Zell broke, tore, shredded like a piece of paper ripped between nimble fingers. The strong gaze that he was holding faltered. "It's in you." A warm hand moved up to touch his cheek, it played across his soft flesh and down to his chin, holding it in a gentle grip. The violet eyes clashed with the blue and for a moment it stayed that way. A simple melding of colors and then a warm feeling moved through Zell's small body. A tingling, crackling slightly like lightning. The silky voice spoke again, "Can you feel it?"
Confused Zell turned his head away from the hand holding it and he backed away from the presence on the bed. Bewildered eyes looked up and he started to shiver. "No….no no no no no no…." Squeezing his eyes shut he huddled among the sheets.
"You need to see….open your eyes…."
"NO!" hands covered ears as he gently rocked back and forth. "This isn't real….I won't…I can't…" Tears leaked behind shut lids and he opened his mouth wide, yelling to the fading room and the voice that repeated over and over the same two phrases, simple yet frightening.
Zell shook himself awake and looked up at the darkened ceiling, eyes damp. His hands shook a little on the blanket, clenching into fists and unclenching. Thoughts swirled around his mind as his breathing slowed down. Too many, all too muddled to make sense but one pulsated like a neon sign, flashing and blinking, drawing attention to it. Lips parted and air rushed through them as his voice rang out into the black of the surrounding room. "What do I need to see?"