a/n: Ah, I'm sorry I'm late, guys! But…I got home late last night…and I forgot to type this up… [wails] DON'T KILL ME~~

On another note, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY! Or…it was when I started typing this up. BUT IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY RECENTLY. FAIRLY RECENTLY. Sometime this month?

x.x.x

"Curiouser and curiouser!" Feliciano exclaimed.

Now I'm opening out like the largest telescope ever seen, Romano mused. Curiouser and curiouser indeed.

"Be~ Ciao, feet!" Feliciano wailed—his feet were indeed disappearing completely, so tall had he gotten. "Now who will put your boots on? I won't be able to, that's for sure! And I'll have to have to send them presents at Christmas and be kind to them, or maybe they won't walk for me! And—"

"Shut up, idiot!" Romano yelled. "What nonsense are you spouting? Ow!" He yelped as his head collided abruptly with the ceiling. "Fucking ceiling!"

"Fratello, you really shouldn't swear like that…" Feliciano soothed. "See, now we can reach the key!" He took the key and carefully fitted it in the lock of the tiny door, which creaked open again. However, now barely a single eye could fit into the span of the doorframe. Feliciano began to cry again, gallon-sized tears splashing to the floor.

"Quit that," Romano ordered sharply, smacking his brother over the head. This only increased the level of wailing and the quantity of tears that fell to the floor. "Oh, honestly," Romano growled, putting a hand to his forehead and resolving to wait the tears out.

Soon enough, Feliciano's crying trailed off into hiccups and sniffles, and Romano took a moment to take stock of their surroundings again.

They had somehow shrunk back down to a size that would allow them to go through the door! Greatly cheered up, Romano hurried over to the tiny door again…

…but it was locked, and the tiny key was again lying on the glass table. Cursing loudly, Romano stomped about, but his foot slipped and he fell, accidentally latching onto his brother's arm. They both ended up chin-deep in salt water.

"Be~ fratello, it's the seaside!" Feliciano declared, paddling joyfully. "We can get home from here!"

"Idiot! It's all those tears you cried!" Romano yelled, struggling desperately to stay afloat. "Now we'll drown! Are you happy?"

Feliciano's expression took a nosedive towards sorrow. "I'm sorry, fratello!" he cried. "Hey, what's that splashing about over there?" he wondered, easily distracted as always.

The twins paddled over to the splashing noise. Romano half-expected it to be a walrus or something like that, but then he remembered how small he was and saw that it was only a mouse.

"Hey! It's a mouse!" Feliciano cried jubilantly, swimming over. Romano followed reluctantly.

The "mouse" was only another human in a costume—this one had brown hair, neat but for a single unruly strand that stuck up near his forehead, wide violet eyes, and a mole near his mouth. There were round brown mouse ears set upon his head and wire-framed spectacles set upon his nose.

"Hey~ Mouse~" Feliciano called. "Mouse~! Can you hear me?"

The Mouse made no reply and simply swam off. Feliciano chased it, and Romano chased his brother. Eventually, they joined a large group of people in various animal costumes who had fallen into the ocean of tears and they all made their way to shore.

When they reached it, they discovered exactly what a motley crew they were—hair and clothes soaked and clinging to shivering bodies, bedraggled and weary.

The first thing to discuss was how to end this state of being soaked.

"Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!" the Mouse cried. "I'll soon make you dry enough! This is the driest lecture I know!" He stood, fixing his glasses with the tip of a finger and running his other hand through his hair. He cleared his throat and began to recite a lecture on piano music through the ages.

"This isn't working," Romano muttered to his brother, wrapping his arms around his torso and shivering. Indeed, he seemed only to be getting wetter by the minute.

The Mouse heard him and spun 'round, fixing Romano with a cold stare. "What did you say?"

"Be~ fratello was just saying that this wasn't working very well," Feliciano put in.

The Mouse transferred his stare to the younger twin. "That is most impolite," he began before being interrupted by a Dodo, a pretty brunette lady carrying a frying pan and wearing a pink flower behind her ear.

"Roderich, dear, calm down," she placated, laying a hand on his arm. "Since your method is not quite working as well as we'd hoped, I move that we adopt more energetic methods!"

"Speak so we can understand you!" an Eaglet (a small boy with scruffy blond hair and oddly thick eyebrows wearing a sailor suit) interrupted.

The Dodo sighed. "What I was going to suggest was that we attempt to get dry by means of a Caucus Race."

Feliciano tugged on his brother's sleeve. "Fratello, what's a Caucus Race?"

It turned out to be everyone running around aimlessly until they were all sufficiently dry. Being that there was no set course (and thus no finish line) it was quite difficult to figure out who had won.

"No one has won, so no one gets any prizes," the Mouse grumbled, storming off closely followed by the Dodo, after whom the rest of the lot trailed.

"Aw…now we're all alone again…" Feliciano moped.

Sighing, Romano patted his brother's shoulder. "Cheer up. At least we're out of that stuffy hall."

Feliciano brightened up considerably. "That's right!"

At that moment, the White Rabbit came running past again. Flapping a hand at Feliciano, he commanded, "Mary Anne, Mary Anne, fetch me my white gloves this instant!"

"Be~?" Feliciano squeaked. "But my name isn't—"

"Mary Anne, Aster, Berlin, I don't care what your name is, fetch me my gloves this instant!" the Rabbit yelled.

Feliciano was so frightened that he rushed off straight away. Romano followed after flipping the rabbit-bastard off.

Eventually, they came upon a tiny little cottage with a brass plate labeled W. RABBIT (L. BEILSCHMIDT) on the door.

"This must be the right place!" Feliciano exclaimed, flinging open the door (it crashed against the opposite wall so hard that it would most likely leave dents).

"Great," Romano sighed. "Now all we have to do is find that rabbit-bastard a pair of gloves."

"Fratello, don't call him that," Feliciano objected, starting to rifle through the excessively neat drawers and cabinets in search (presumably) of a pair of white gloves. Knowing him, however, he could have been looking for pasta.

Romano sighed again and glanced about the room, eyes falling on a pair of white gloves on a low table. "Idiot, they're over here," he called, picking them up.

Feliciano had been distracted once more. He was staring at a clear bottle filled with a thick brown sludge. This one was unlabeled, but Feliciano had uncorked it and was about to take a drink anyway when Romano snatched it from him.

"Aw, fratello, what was that for?" Feliciano pouted. "Give it back."

"It could be dangerous!" Romano warned, holding the bottle out of reach. "Don't just randomly drink or eat everything you come upon that looks even vaguely edible!"

"But interesting things happen when we eat or drink stuff!" Feliciano protested, grabbing for the bottle.

Romano conceded defeat. "Fine. But I'm trying it first." He took a gulp, tasted it thoroughly, swallowed, then passed the bottle to his brother. "Doesn't seem poisonous," he muttered as Feliciano took a swig. "In fact—oh fucking hell no!"

They had both grown much larger, so much so that stray limbs poked out into the White Rabbit's orderly garden.

Not again.

xxx

a/n: YES. FINALLY. AN UPDATE. THAT TOOK FOREVER. ARGH. FEEL FREE TO SHOOT ME OR SOMETHING.

IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS WHOOHOO! I'm just a little excited, aru~

So, they've grown again. CUE TALL ALICE /shot

But actually, we just recently performed our Alice in Wonderland as a class, and it did not fail. We actually did pretty well, really! I got to be the Queen of Hearts, which meant that I got to shout at people, which was pretty awesome. And I got to play the flute in band, and I didn't fail at that either! Well…mostly not fail.

They get to try to burn the house down next chapter. AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING. /shot repeatedly/

…yay…