I just got my ear pierced in the cartilage! Im proud of it. Thanks to all of those who provided me with the names of the weapons. You guys rock my sox. Ok anyways onward!
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Chapter 3: Of Dastardly Deeds
Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz quickly bounded up the stairs.
"Split up! They couldn't have gone far." Kadaj said. His brothers nodded and began to scamper off to various places. The Bahamut wasn't really sure of who or what it was supposed to destroy, so it kind of flew around and singed various objects. The couch now had a few burned spots. The TV was able to withstand it, it just looked like it had black soot all over it.
Jackie was the first to be found. She was found huddled under the kitchen table by Loz.
"Wanna play?" he smirked. He took out his Dual Hound and gave it a charge.
"Aaaahh! Get away from me you psycho freak!" Jackie yelped as she tried swatting Loz away. Loz was ready and shocked her.
'Today is not my day!' Jackie thought as she rubbed her hand. All the shock had done was tickle her. She held in a giggle.
"You fail." Jackie said. Loz shocked her again in the side. This made Jackie react violently as she was very ticklish, and smacked Loz into a nearby table leg, unconscious. Jackie got over her fit of laughter and crawled out from under the table. She forgot stupid Bahamut. She came face to face with it and it….roared? But it began to power up an energy ball.
"Fuck!" Jackie exclaimed.
KT had hidden herself well. She had somehow shimmied her way under the car in the garage. She could hear one of the stupid dolls running around outside near the door accompanied by popping sounds.
"Sounds like Yazoo…damn." KT whispered to herself. "I should be safe for now. I mean, the doors are closed."
"Safe from who?" A sadistic voice said. Yazoo stood there with his Velvet Nightmare pointing at her face.
"Preferably you." KT said trying to shimmy out from under the car. She made a dash for the door but found that it was locked! The big door was also closed and she didn't have her garage opener! She also didn't have her key for the smaller door.
"About the key that you're looking for…I took the liberty of melting it." He said.
"You did WHAT!"
"Melted it. Prepare to die!" Yazoo said cocking his gunblade.
"How did you get in here? And how can I prepare to die?" KT asked trying to distance herself from Yazoo.
"I have my ways. There's no use running." Yazoo explained to KT, who was looking around frantically for means of escape. KT's eyes finally stopped on a bucket. She quickly grabbed it and dumped out whatever contents were in it.
"What are you gonna do with that?" Yazoo chuckled. KT looked at him and held the bucket upside down. Yazoo caught on.
"Take one more step. And I'll lodge a bullet in your brain." He said taking aim. KT took a step and Yazoo opened fire. KT blocked as many bullets as she could with the bucket as she closed in on Yazoo. Yazoo did not back down and fired even more rounds. KT then tried putting the bucket on top of him. When she would almost catch him, he would suddenly run away.
'Damn its like trying to catch an evil hamster!' KT thought angrily. Suddenly a bullet hit her glasses and she backed off for a moment. She took off her glasses to examine them. There was a small crack in the upper left hand corner of the left lens. KT got pissed.
"Now you die! Do you know how much those cost!" she thundered. Yazoo showed no signs of fear as he stood his ground. He flicked his hair to taunt KT. KT grabbed the bucket again with new found determination.
After about 5 minutes of scuffling around the garage, KT had finally trapped Yazoo under the bucket. She secured his location by putting a large block of wood on top. Deciding to take advantage of her current victory, she threw her hands in the air and began to laugh like a flippin loony.
"Bwahahahahhahaha!" she laughed and proceeded to do a happy dance. However, she stopped when she caught the smell of burning plastic. She glanced at the bucket. There
was a small burn hole that was growing in size every second. She could see Yazoo's face and he looked PISSED!
"No fair! How are you able to do that!" KT yelled pointing at him.
"With material stupid!" (A/N: Don't know if u can burn things with material but now u can!) he yelled back as he stepped through the hole.
"God dammit this sucks!" KT groaned. Now lets go see how Megan is faring.
Megan sat huddled by the tire of her car outside. She hadn't been found yet and for that, she was very grateful.
"God this is soo crazy! Its like a twisted game of hide and seek. Except if you're found, you get killed. Though I highly doubt that a 6 inch man could kill me." Megan whispered to herself. Megan had this horrible habit of talking out loud to herself when she was nervous or anxious. And for that reason, Megan didn't even notice that Kadaj was sitting on the roof of the car, watching her make stupid facial expressions as she talked to herself. Finally Kadaj decided to speak up.
"Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee's Kadaj!" he said standing up and throwing his arms up. Megan snapped her head around to look at Kadaj. He grinned sadistically as he took out his Souba. Megan eeped and scrambled around the car. Kadaj calmly followed. Megan ran into the yard and began to search for a weapon. She found a bunch of rocks and picked them up. She then turned to face Kadaj.
"Stop following me you stalker!" She yelled. Kadaj kept walking towards her.
"Stop! I don't want to hurt you…but I will! I will crush you like…A BUG! HIYA!" Megan yelled as she began to throw rocks. Kadaj dodged everyone with grace.
"Stop! Where is the love! I'm pro-world peace!" Megan yelled, now throwing grass at him. The grass was less then effective obviously.
"Stop your babbling woman!" Kadaj said now charging at her.
"Aaaahhh! Women and children first!" She screamed as she jumped over him and ran to the nearest tree and quickly scaled it.
"Ha HA! What are you gonna do now punk?" Megan yelled down at Kadaj as he stared up at her, incapable of climbing the tree.
"Why must you make this so difficult?" Kadaj sighed as he rubbed his temple.
"Because you're a meanie!" Megan answered.
"Am I? Hahahahahahahahahaha!" Kadaj laughed maniacally. Megan was officially freaked out now.
Megan tried to get into a more comfortable position as he foot had fallen asleep as she had been up there for quite some time. Kadaj was trying to whistle with a blade of grass he was so bored. Suddenly Megan lost her footing (big surprise there). She tried to regain her foot hold, but lets face it it's Megan, and she was sent tumbling out of the tree. She rubbed her butt from where she fell.
"My how the tables have turned." Kadaj grinned as he walked up to her. Megan began to inch back.
"Say goodbye." Kadaj yelled charging at her face. Megan didn't know what else to do so she quickly covered her eyes.
"And say hello to me!" a new voice said as there was a loud clang. Megan peered through her fingers and saw a shock of spiky red hair. Megan recognized him immediately.
"Reno!" she yelped.
"Nice to meet you too!" he grunted as he forced Kadaj back. Megan gazed at him in wonder.
' How on earth did he get here? Where are they all coming from?' she wondered. Reno and Kadaj fought for a while. Kadaj swung Souba while Reno swung his terrifying stick of doom, whose name is not important enough to remember. Megan wasn't sure if she should be doing something or not.
"Should I be doing something?" she asked Reno.
"Just relax and enjoy the show." He said as he ducked under Souba.
'I don't have any popcorn though. Oh yea relax he says. Ladies Man!" Megan though rolling her eyes.
Megan idely looked around as the men in front of her exchanged blows. Her eyes fell onto the hose. Megan thought for a moment. Her lips curled into an evil grin. She quickly ran and turned the hose on. She kinked it and walked fairly close to Kadaj. She then placed her thumb over the opening and positioned it so it would give her the most spraying power.
"Hey Kadaj…" Kadaj turned to look "think fast!" Megan said releasing the kink. Kadaj was instantly floored by the jet of water. Reno watched as Kadaj gargled and tried to escape the torrent of water. Reno then looked over at Megan and gave her a thumbs up. Let's go back to KT now shall we?
KT was running circles around Yazoo.
'Maybe I can dizzy him to death!' KT thought. She hadn't noticed that Yazoo had stopped firing ages ago. Now he was just standing there, examining his nail cuticles. KT ran around him until she was out of breath.
"Are you done yet?" He asked.
"Yes…." KT panted.
"Good." Yazoo said charging.
"Aaahhh! Get away! Back you terrible fiend back!" KT yelled. KT backed against the wall.
"Dammit!" KT said closing her eyes. A shot was fired but no pain came. A scuffle was heard. KT opened her eye a crack. Yazoo was preoccupied with something. KT fully opened her eyes to see a billowy cape of doom. And it was red. Yes…it was our favorite gun toting, vampire look-a-like, Vincent. Vincent seemed to ignore KT as he battled Yazoo. Eventually, KT would have never thought of saying this, got bored watching them. Realization suddenly dawned on her. She slapped her forehead. She had just remembered that she had a spare key in the garage. Now all she had to do was find it.
As the two gunners fought with each other, KT calmly searched for the key. Of course, she couldn't keep her fangirl-ism away.
'Vincent saved me! SQUEE!' she thought. She finally found the key and quickly forced it into the lock. It took her several tries to finally open it. When she had the door open, before stepping out, she looked back.
'Should I leave them here? They don't have any supervision. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.' She thought. Finally, she made up her mind. She ran in, plucked Vincent up by the back of his cape, and ran out, leaving Yazoo alone in the garage. KT booked it to the front yard, Vincent still dangling, where she heard a rather large ruckus.
"Damn bitch! Untie me!" Kadaj yelled. KT watched as Megan put the finishing touches on a double knot that was meant to keep Kadaj's arms from flailing about. KT then noticed that instead of Kadaj's hair being silver, it was brown. Kadaj was covered in mud from head to toe.
"Would you mind putting me down?" Vincent asked. KT obliged and gently set him down. Reno waved at Vincent and Vincent nodded back.
"You ok Trisha?"
"Si senorita." Megan replied.
"Hey Reno." KT greeted.
"Yo."
"What happened to Kadaj?" KT asked.
"He got into a fight with a mud monster. You gotta watch out for those mud monsters. Those are not to be trifled with…………….I got him with the hose." Megan replied picking Kadaj up. Kadaj tried to bite her hand.
"We should probably check on Jackie." KT said.
"And Cloud." Megan added.
"Cloud is here?" Vincent asked with no emotion.
"Yes. He's probably fine. It's Jackie I'm worried about." KT said walking up to her front door. The rest of the group slowly followed, Kadaj spewing death threats the whole way.
KT's jaw dropped when she entered her house. There were burnt things everywhere! Jackie was screeching somewhere in the kitchen. Megan and KT dashed up the stairs to see Jackie trying to fend off Bahamut with a kitchen chair and a spatula. She caught sight of the group.
"Don't just stand there help me!" She yelled, swatting at the beast.
"Well you heard the woman. I'm gonna go check on Cloud. " KT said turning and bolting down the stairs.
"What? But…!" Megan called. She put Kadaj down and looked at Reno. Reno looked at Megan. Megan looked at Vincent. Vincent looked at Megan. Vincent looked at Reno. Reno looked at Vincent. Vincent looked at Bahamut. Bahamut looked at Jackie. Jackie looked at Megan.
"Get your fuckin' ass over here!" Jackie growled.
"Right!" Megan said as she dove for a cupboard. She threw it open and took out the strainer and put it on her head.
"We're all gonna die, but at least I've got a helmet!" Megan said as she took out a wooden spoon.
"On guard!" she said facing Bahamut with her spoon. Bahamut turned to face her.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!" she charged at it but stopped "Bother!" she said in a high voice as she poked it. Bahamut roared. Reno and Vincent then took action. Let's move back with KT.
KT slowly approached her room . The first thing she saw was little droplets of blood splattered on the carpet.
"Oh no!" KT groaned. Her room was a disaster. This was an anything goes fight apparently. This must have been why one of KT's stereo speakers was cleanly split in two.
"I hope they plan on coughing up some moolah for the damages." KT said aloud.
"It'll be fine." Cloud said from somewhere in the room. KT looked around and saw him sitting on the ledge near her bed trying to bandage his left arm.
"Where's Sephiroth?" KT asked.
"Outside somewhere."
"Is he dead?"
"Why?"
"Because I don't wanna see a 6 inch, hacked to bits body laying in the middle of my yard." KT said as she watched Cloud struggle with a band aid. I would be struggling too if the band aid was bigger than my head.
"I'll go and get you a smaller band aid." KT said walking to the bathroom.
She came back with the smallest band aid she had. Meanwhile, Cloud was having some issues. He kept getting stuck to the band aid. And currently, the band aid seemed pretty comfortable nestled in with his golden spikes.
"Do you need help?" KT asked. Cloud nodded his head after a moment of hesitation.
'Hmm…how do I wanna do this? If I just pull, I'll probably rip his head off and we don't wanna do that.' KT pondered.
"I'll get it wet first and then we'll see if that works." KT explained as she grabbed a spray bottle full of water. She gently sprayed the band aid and tried to pry his hair loose. A tricky thing band aids. Finally, she got the band aid off. Not without taking a few golden hairs with it though.
"We should probably go help the others. Reno and Vincent are wondering where you are." KT said as Cloud applied the smaller band aid. Without saying a word, Cloud ran out of the room and up to the kitchen.
'Crazy Emo.' KT sighed
Megan and Jackie were just having a jolly good old time. Megan was playing Whack-a-Bahamut with the kitchen broom while Jackie swung the rolling pin at it dangerously. They were the only two fighting. Loz and Kadaj had probably gone off to find Sephiroth and Yazoo. Reno was drinking a mini beer and Vincent was looking at the latest cell phone ads. Cloud took one look at the situation and jumped into battle. Bahamut was dead in half a second. After a moment of silence, where all you could hear was paper flipping and drink guzzling, Megan spoke up.
"Where's Sephiroth?"
"Who cares?" Reno said.
"Outside somewhere." KT replied.
"Probably gathering evil mole people for his evil army." Megan mused.
"I would soo love…to hurt you right now." KT groaned as she cracked her knuckles.
"If you do, remember to smile. Remember the healing words." Megan said with a totally cheesy smile.
"Oh piss on your mother!" Jackie said as she conked Megan in the head with her rolling pin.
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That took flippin forever. It also doesn't help that my cat kept walking across the keyboard and licking my fingers. Unlike KT, I have an attack cat to protect me against mini antagonists. In this chapter, I made a few references to some youtube things. So here they are:
"Bother"- Harry Potter Puppets. Watch it its super awesome. Its not on youtube though. Just google it.
"Smile" "Piss on your mother" – The Healing Network or Healing Words. Its on youtube and its pretty awesome.
The story will only get crazier from here! Brace yourselves!