DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.
A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe
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Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.
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Part Three-
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Takes place the day after Side Effects of Babysitting
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Ms Therapist arrives early, as usual. Jamie answers the door for her, wide-eyed. " Ma'am, you may not want to be here today... Logan is being weird, Rogue's grouchy, and Kitty keeps mumbling something about butterflies."
She nods at Jamie and states " Well then, perhaps they need me more then usual this week. Did anything happen to upset them?"
Jamie begins leading her to her usual office. " ...Not really, except Kitty,Bobby,Kurt and I watched Kaitie for a few hours yesterday while Rogue and Logan went to some seminar thing... Gambit apparently broke his phone, so he didn't get here until after Rogue got back."
Sighing,the therapist heads into her office. She wonders what set them all off this time. Honestly everyone in the house needed therapy, but she didn't think she could handle more then the three of them. She sits and waits for Kitty to arrive.
Xavier calls her a few minutes later, to ask if she would mind adding Kurt and Bobby to her list of clients, at least for a couple of weeks. She agrees and goes back to waiting. A few minutes later a shaking and pale Kitty enters the office, indeed mumbling something about butterflies.
_Kitty_
Kitty sat, in an almost stunned silence for several minutes, the therapist was about to ask her what was wrong when she began talking rapidly. " Kaitie is teething, seriously, like growing teeth okay?. So like, it's totally unfair to make Rogue leave her with a babysitter right now. For Kaitie, and like, the babysitter! There I was,minding my own business, texting, when all of a sudden the Professor was all like 'Thank you for agreeing to watch the baby Kitty' and I was all like 'what?' cause I like never agreed to watch her. Ever."
Kitty then begins muttering again. Ms Therapist missed most of it but was pretty sure that Kitty had said something about 'butterflies' and 'pink'. Since the girl frequently arrived to their meetings wear one shade of pink or another, Ms Therapist was confused. Why would pink disturb the girl like this?
" Well like, Rogue has a binder A BINDER! Full of instructions of Kaitie's care. It said to feed Kaitie carrots. I hate carrots. So I fed her peas...which Rogue hates,so why were there peas? Rogue keeps getting scarier. Seriously. " Kitty took a moment to shudder before continuing. " Then,like I went to give her a bath, and like saw the scariest. thing. EVER! In Rogue's suite, Kaitie like has a nursery... A nursery with pink walls. THERE. ARE. FREAKIN'. BUTTERFLIES! on the border. BUTTERFLIES! and everything is orderly. She was my room mate for years! I think she may be and evil pod person clone thing."
" AND Jamie..."Kitty says. At this point, Kitty began mumbling again. Before the therapist could try to figure out what exactly set her off,Kitty began randomly screaming, and phased through the floor. Therapist blinks blankly at the spot the girl had been for several moments, before making a quick note and invited the next one in.
_Kurt_
Kurt walked into the office, a nervous twitching mess. He quickly looked around to ensure his niece was not somehow in the room before sitting down. " Hello Kurt. How are you today?" Ms Therapist asks, trying to get the boy to talk to her.
"...Kaitlyn's not in here somewhere, is she?" Kurt asks first.
" No, she's only in here when her mother is." Ms Therapist replies, wondering why the boy is so nervous.
"...Oh good! I know she's my niece and all, but she is scary!" Kurt states. " Seriously. You have met her, so you must know!? When she cries *shudders* it's the most terrifying thing ever."
The therapist didn't think the baby was really all that scary, once you got past the fires. Which didn't happen that often.
"...she peed on me yesterday! Then Bobby yelled at me saying it was my own fault for not dressing her fast enough. Then she teleported away from me. Then Bobby made me help give her medicine. Then I may have screamed a little, because I was sure she was gonna start crying. Then she laughed at me. First she terrifies me, then she laughed! I'm pretty sure she enjoys torturing me. And Bobby and my sister are in on it. I'm sure of it!" Kurt rants.
" I see... and how long have you been having these feelings of persecution?" Ms Therapist questioned,while taking notes.
" Of course I feel picked on! As soon as I calmed down from the ordeal of giving her medicine, Bobby just left me with her again! AND then I had to deal with Jamie." Kurt takes a deep breath. " I'm considering becoming a priest...I don't want to abandon my studies, however, I don't know, maybe it's for the best."
Before the therapist can say anything, Rogue walks in carrying Kaitlyn. " Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was here already." Rogue states, at the same time as Kurt points at the baby and screams. A moment later, Kaitlyn begins to laugh and Kurt teleports away. " Yeah, he always does that." Rogue states,seeing the questioning look on Ms Therapist's face. Rogue then sets out a blanket and handful of toys on the floor for the baby while the therapist finishes her notes on Kurt. ( Who she feels needs long term help for his paranoia)
_Rogue_
" I'll make this one quick, Ms Therapist." Rogue begins.
" Actually my name is Mrs. Va-" Ms Therapist begins.
" It's not important right now. What is important is Logan! We went to the world's dumbest seminar...about how since I'm a teen mom, I'm going to have like three kids by the time I'm twenty, by like three dad's, never graduate, and be a drain on society." Rogue sighs. " I think they are exaggerating the potential danger myself. There's no rule that says any of that has to happen, but even if I DID have two more kids, would that really be bad? I mean seriously. It was stupid. "
" Okay,so th-" the therapist tries to begin.
" But whatever it was they told Logan, he totally freaked out. All day he's been wandering around, writing on a clipboard, mumbling to himself, and randomly sniffing people. It's actually really starting to piss me off. "
" Alright, bu-" again she is interrupted.
" So I was thinking instead of doing my usual time, you could talk to him and get him to knock it off. Thanks." With that Rogue stood,gathered Kaitlyn and left with out another word.
" I'm not here for them ." Ms Therapist states, but Rogue is already gone.
_Bobby_
Bobby steps into the office, while she was still trying to think of a way to explain to Rogue she was authorized to see shuts the door, walks over, calmly sits down, and screams. " KURT IS THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN. THE. HOUSE!"
" And why do you feel, Kurt is annoying? " Ms Therapist questions, partly agreeing, though still far more concerned for the other boy's sanity.
" Because, EVERY time he sees his niece, he screams. Every Gosh Darn Time. I know she's scary at first, but she's been here for weeks. He seriously needs to get over it. " Bobby states, pouting.
" Oh and Jamie has serious issues. Really he does. I swear he spends more time in that tree then a squirrel. " Bobby states. " Okay thanks, you're really good! I feel better already."
Bobby stands,walking back out as calmly as he had come in, leaving a shocked and confused therapist. She doesn't bother writing any notes on the strange encounter. Remy should be here any moment, and she still had no idea what had made them so hyper-vigilant this week.
_Remy_
Remy casually strolled in the sits in the chair furthest from her and stares for a moment out of the window.
" Hello, Remy. How are you this week?" Ms Therapist questions, not really wanting to spend the entire session with him staring off into space. Again.
" My phone is broken. Again. " Remy replies.
"And how did it break this time?" she asked,with a sigh.
" My father called me the day before yesterday. I was politely telling him were he could forcibly place the colossal stick he has been carrying around, and I accidentally stuck it in the microwave...We need a new microwave too." Remy states.
"...Remy, you can't accidentally place your phone in the microwave while you're using it." she says in a tired tone. They had been working on his tendency to lie about these 'accidents'.
" Sure you can, just like last week when I accidentally stuck it in the dishwasher." Remy states, completely missing her tone. " But I feel terrible about the phone. Because I wasn't home, so Rogue wasn't able to get a hold of me to watch Kaitie... I think I need to be more careful with my phone."
" Yes. You also need to work on your ability to admit these incidents are not accidents. You destroy the phone because he upsets you. Not because you are careless." She states.
" Anyway... So I'm thinking that I should ask Xavier if I can join...but if I do then Logan will be upset..and he's been very very strange today. So I'm going to wait. " Remy states.
" Okay. " She states, but before she can continue, Jamie rushes through the door and attempts to hide behind Remy. Rogue quickly following, spots him right away and yells " YOU! I heard what happened yesterday. You can NOT play pirates with an infant!" As she completes this statement, she lunges towards the boy, and Remy steps out of the way. Jamie screams and runs from the room, Rogue quickly behind him.
Seeing the shocked look on the therapist's face, Remy states. " He tries to 'board' the other 'ship' by jumping from his dresser to his bed. However, he'll knock Kaitie off the bed if he plays it with her. They've had this fight before." Remy then turns to leave. " I'm going to go help her catch him, and make sure she doesn't actually hurt him."
Remy walks out of the door, and the Therapist seriously considers quitting. These people need help, but she's not sure she actually qualified to be the one to help them. They seem to just get crazier as time passes.
Gathering her things, she heads in the direction of her car. Logan walks by carrying the previously mentioned clipboard, and what appeared to be some sort of charts. He was mumbling to himself something about babies raining down from the sky. Shaking her head, she escaped before Xavier could ask her to talk to anyone else. Thankfully she only had to come here once a week.
This chapter seems more bizarre than funny, but the next one will be funnier :) I hope everyone enjoyed it anyway .