A/N: This just reached new levels of insanity and it's the one thing about this fic I don't regret one bit. Most of this chapter takes place within a flashback and there will be another one somewhere in the next couple chapters.
DP: I guess he's kind of a bad ass, but he's kind of a kiss-ass too.
A: Well, your opinion isn't really needed, now is it?
DP: I'm just sayin'. By the way, what's your flashback going to be about? Me?
A: Pfft. You wish. Everyone reading already knows your story.
DP: So it's about your tool of a Mary Sue, huh?
A: Stop calling him a tool or I promise, I am going to punch you in your fictional face!
DP: *unsheathes katana* Come at me, bro.
A: *sighs in defeat* Just shut the fuck up, Wade.
"How long am I grounded for?" Joel sat on the couch beside Steve. "I swear, I didn't decapitate the guy. I'm not that sadistic. It was that prick Deadpool. He actually approached me with a katana in hand. Had to tell him to put it away; he pouted like a small child. It was actually kind of cute."
"I know." Steve nodded, not having heard the end of that sentence. "You know, he's— Wade Wilson is kind of a handful, I guess you could say." He put an arm around Joel. "As for your punishment... your outburst set you back a little bit. Remember when we found you?"
FLASHBACK – five years earlier
Joel approached the two men, head held high, despite his friends' protests. "Hey there, handsome, want to have a little fun?" He smirked and ran a finger along the sweatshirt of the tall blond one. The other man, with shorter brown hair, pulled him away and Joel pouted slightly before going back to his group.
"Can't blame a guy for trying."
That night, Joel was sitting in the alleyway, waiting for someone to come by when he blacked out. When he came to, he was sitting in a fancy living room. He looked around, blinking, and saw a large group of people watching him closely.
"What the hell do you want from me? If this is a gang bang, I swear to—" He was silenced by a slap to the face. After quickly recovering, he tried the kicked puppy approach. "W-what do you want? I have no money." This was a lie, but no one needed to know that.
"How old are you?" A man asked. He was tall with black-rimmed glasses and a concerned look on his face.
"What does it matter? I'm old enough." He made to stand up but found himself wrapped in ropes. "Hey, this is kidnapping! Untie me, goddamn it!"
Another man stepped forward; Joel recognized him from that afternoon. "Please, let me go. I won't say a word, I promise." He shut his eyes and felt his body heat up, the ropes binding him melting away slowly. The people surrounding him stepped back. "I don't want to hurt any of you. I am fully aware of what I'm capable of."
He stood up but felt himself pulled down once more; turning in his seat, he found a third man, this one with a large prosthetic arm. "I'm only saying it one more time. Let. Me. Go."
"Buck, it's okay. Let him up." A voice spoke up. Joel saw the man he'd hit on and flushed slightly. "You don't have anyone, do you?"
Joel scoffed. "What? I have people. In fact, they're gonna be worried about me." He cricked his neck and walked over to the elevator. "Don't worry about me. I don't understand why you care so much." As the doors closed, the Avengers could have sworn they heard "No one else does."
After that, Joel stopped hanging out at that corner and found a new spot just outside an abandoned apartment building that had clearly been the site of an high-scale destructive fight.
"Come on, there's gotta be someone who needs some nightly company!" He whined after the fifth passing guy had rejected him. "I'm not even that expensive!"
"So this is how you earn money," a voice asked. Joel looked around; he didn't recognize the voice. "Don't you have any dignity?"
Joel huffed. "I have my dignity, thank you very much. There's not much a sixteen-year-old can do in way of jobs, especially since I dropped out last year."
The person came into view and sat down beside Joel. He was one of the superpeople who had abducted him. "What? Not going to tie me up and shove me into the back of a van this time?" He rolled up his sleeves, narrowly avoiding revealing the multitude of knife marks along his wrists. "I still have these bruises from being manhandled."
"Do you have any idea who we are?" The man asked, head cocked to the side.
"Well, you guys do look a little like this superhero team in the comic books I read as a kid, but those were comics." Joel bit his lip, frowning. "Hold on." He opened his knapsack and rooted around, pulling out a comic book. The Avengers #1. He looked from the comic to the man and putting two and two together, his jaw dropped. "Holy shit. You're Iron Man. Then that guy I hit on earlier was— Oh fuck."
"Cap wants you to come live with us." Joel did a double-take. "Seriously, kid. You don't have anyone, do you?" Joel shrugged. Tony let out a low whistle and the Iron Man suit flew down in front of them.
"Whoa."
Within the next year, the multitude of powers that Joel possessed came to light as well as his past. He sat down with the team and told them that he hails from Baltimore and that his parents died in an airplane crash when he was 12 and he was bounced from one foster home to another. He was bullied so much that he stopped going to school at 14 and, seeing no other option, hitchhiked and began living on the streets of New York City as a hustler.
END FLASHBACK
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Joel conceded and leaned on Steve's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I'm—"
"No need for apologies. Just be good, okay?"
"Okay."
"Have a good day at school, don't beat anyone up, and work on your assignment." Steve pressed a kiss to Joel's forehead the next morning.
"Will do." Joel beamed and waved from the elevator. He got down to the garage and unlocked his car. A clatter came from behind him and he spun around, hands glowing blue. "W-who's there?"
"So you're an Avenger." The familiar red-and-black suit stepped out of the shadows.
Joel groaned in frustration. "How the fuck did you get in here? You know what, I don't even want to know. Just leave me alone and get the fuck out." He got into the car. "Asshole."
"You want to see it?" Deadpool asked from beside him.
"See what—? Goddamn it! Get out of my car!" Joel shouted, pressing a button that opened the passenger side. "Out!"
"No need to yell at me," Wade said. "I know when I'm not wanted. I just thought you wanted to see my ass." He stepped out of the vehicle, back towards Joel.
Joel grumbled something under his breath and shut the door, peeling out of his designated parking spot and driving up the ramp.
"Can't we carpool?" Joel gripped the steering wheel with both hands, his knuckles turning white. Wade had once again appeared beside him. "Don't get so angry. It ruins your attractiveness."
"What do you want?" The garage door opened and he pulled onto the main road. "I'm far from being in the mood for your bullshit today."
Wade was uncharacteristically silent for most of the ride before he suddenly spoke up. "I guess I'm sorry for taking the head off your robber," he said softly. Joel parked the car and looked over at him, looking slightly taken aback. "Pete told me I should apologize."
Joel chuckled lightly. "I forgive you. No point staying mad. You're just going to piss me off more eventually anyway."
"What do you want with Petey anyway?" Wade removed his mask and looked Joel in the eye. "You're not going to hurt him, are you? Because if you do—"
"I'm not going to hurt him. What I'm trying to do doesn't require anyone to get hurt. The team just wants Spider-Man, and they entrusted me to bring him in. They promised that if I do, I can finally be an official Avenger." Joel looked down at his hands. "Truth is, I've always wanted to be one of them. Ever since I was a kid and reading their comics..."
"Hold on, you can break the fourth wall too?"
"Uh, yeah, of course I can. I'm basically the embodiment of the author." He looked up; the bell rang. "Let's go, we're late." He got out of the car, followed by Wade, who tagged after him, replacing his mask.
"Are you even in high school?"