3. Father

"Bernie, are you sure you're alright?" A fluffy white tail brushed the gray and white tom's side making him shift closer to his partner.

"Fine, as I'll ever be, "he responded, tongue curling as he let loose an enormous yawn. It staved off the sleepiness as much as he could but the calling for a nice, long nap was getting the best of him.

It had been a long evening spent with his darling beauty. For the past five moons he's been courting her, and much to his delight she's been returning his charming gestures unlike half of the bunch that the tom's been padding after for gods' know how many seasons.

The long, white bib sporting his throat rumbled as the silky she-cat rubbed against his side, erasing any of his failed attempts in capturing these magnificent creatures. A soft, content sigh escaped his tight lips and he let her slide closer to his profound exterior.

"Must you always keep secrets from me?" She mewed, letting her tongue brush over his left ear and a couple of soft laps over his cheek.

He chuckled, "I have nothing to keep from you, my dear." He let his nose touch against her ear for slight comfort.

Her response was a quiet purr before letting her pretty little head lean against his shoulder. Her eyes watched the starlit sky with amazement. Large, yellow orbs swallowed up the twinkling diamonds and their lingering stardust trails.

Part of that lie was true. He hardly had anything to keep from her besides his constant visits with his other, darling she-cats. That was him by nature, a wandering tom looking for the pleasures in life. He didn't have much to enjoy besides treats from Twolegs along with toys and other things to keep him busy. Passing time with his mystery ladies eased his boredom considerably.

"Nothing at all," He murmured, leaning more into her feathery head, resting his chin on it.

. . .

"Bernie, I'm with kits."

The shock was imminent in his wide stare. He could feel his legs tremble as a nervous shiver passed down his body from nose to tail tip.

"Wha...How?" He said it before he realized it and a hurt expression morphing into one of annoyance clearly present on the she-cat's face.

She bristled, tail lashing. "You know damn well how. How else do you think I became pregnant. I didn't see another tom other than yourself, Bernie. You know I'm faithful only towards you."

"Right, right, how stupid of me to think that." He said in a mumbly voice. Eyes downcasting towards his white toes.

He just couldn't believe what he was hearing, and from his own ears. This is the first time anything like this has happened. He's been so careful up to this point. Maybe there was a miscalculation and…

He shook his head clearing his jumbled thoughts before looking back to her. A trace of fear laced in her eyes but as she took a sympathetic step forward he took the same step, but back.

"I...I have to go." He blurted.

She flinched but answered to him anyways,"Go? Go where?"

"Away. Home, I mean. I have to think about this. Our future and," he swallowed trying to say more, "theirs."

"Ah," her eyes steeled over as she straightened up to her full height. "Yes, think about that. Let it sink in and then, well, I hope you've decided what to do about all of this. Good night, Bernie." She whisked into the light of the moon. Tail bobbing from behind as she leaped and soared over the picket white fence into her own separate garden.

Thank his lucky stars he lived two doors down from her own place. Bernie released the bundle of breath he didn't at first realize that he was holding in. He sat down feeling his anxiety wash away like the pitter-patter of rain.

His lower jaw tightened as he tried to think of a reasonable solution to this.

I can't go back. I couldn't go back. If I told her the truth she would swamp me with guilt and I don't want this...Never wanted any of this to happen.

Bernie watched the stars swim under his steady, intent look. "I have my ways. I always have ways to avoid unlikely situations." He chanted to himself, wanting his tensed muscles to relax and be at is once more. The breeze coursed through his fur like slender, cool fingers.

He knew what he had to do. The less reasonable solution but it would work out best for him, in the end.

. . .

Sandy pale stripes merged into his charcoal gray pelt. The fur tips mingled and brushed against one another like waves crashing on sand-golden shores.

"Gods, I've missed you." The mew was genuine and light with relief.

Bernie drank in her scent, the smell of wildflowers and honeydew was intoxicating. Clearing his throat he spoke," It's good to see you too, Shellie. How have you been?"

The faintly striped tabby stood back to look over the tom just to make sure he was there, all there and before her sparkling green eyes. "Lonely without you." She answered.

"Bernie, so much has happened and is yet to happen and I've been so worried and…"

His tail tip fell over her squabbling mouth shutting it to a close. "My dear,"he withdrew his tail,"you can talk all you want now that I'm here."

Here, only for you. He added silently.

Shellie eyes shined like water rippling in a glass bottle. Mesmerizing, but beautiful all the same. "Remember when I told you about wanting to start a family?"

The tom stiffened a anxiousness prickles down his spine. "Uh huh. Did something happen. Are you...?" He let the sentence hang there before the tinkling of her laughter like silver coins brings him down to earth again.

"Bernie, I knew you were humorous but my gods are you funny." Shellie giggled some more before continuing. "Heaven's no. I'm no longer bearing kits."

He took a breath not realizing he was holding any before his easiness drained off of him once more. "No longer. Y-you mean."

The question was unanswered as a tiny ball of crimson fluff presented itself beside Shellie. Blazing green eyes blinked up at the other tom, tilting his head to one side in wonderment.

Bernie propelled backwards, neck fur rising in alarm. This was terrifyingly shocking! The thought of kits made the dreadful feeling of parenting rise up from deep within his skull. He groaned feeling as if he would be sick.

"Shellie, is he? Are you sure that he's mine? I mean, accidents can happen and knowing you..."

A hard slap across the face ended all other sentences that flowed from his mumbling mouth. Wails of distress echoed from the courtyard. The tiny kitten was hurdled within the safety of his mother's tail as it coiled around his body like a snake.

"How could you say such a thing?!" A hard shake passed through Shellie's body. Eyes glossy and wet.

The sadness was forthcoming. It was real. Something Bernie could never understand. The sympathetic emotion that was oblivious to him. He could never understand heartache. Bernie couldn't understand her. It was a critical moment in her life-he knew that much-but everything afterwards was so confusing. It was a forbidden topic almost too uncomfortable to discuss.

If only I could get away.

He took a step back. Another step, and another before there was several tail-lengths between them. The sting of her claws was still there on his cheek. His nose detected the small hints of blood but his imagination could be playing tricks. His mind was warping into panic. Unthinkable behavior with a dash of chaotic fear.

"Maybe I should leave. You don't want me to say what I need to and you're kit doesn't need to experience this sort of break up." The gray and white tom's gaze was steady and fixed on the new queen and her son.

Shellie wrapped her tail tighter around her only son. "Perhaps you should." He ears flatted against her head. "It's better of our son as well as me. Go. Leave. Don't ever come back."

He was gone in an instant. The smoldering stare that his former lover and forgotten son left him was haunting. He was always to remember this for the rest of his days.

. . .

"You never loved me." Sore and bloody, the tom lied down where he fell. Miserable and with hardly anything to call his own.

His ear twitched at the sound of approaching pawsteps. Glancing up into the dazzling light and face made his eyes squint. Distinctly he saw her features; sharp and strikingly definite. Another one of his darling mistresses.

He sighed heavily. Fatigue eating away at what was left of his energy. Body drained and tongue dry with far less of what he had to say. What he wanted to say to her.

"I never wanted to become a father. I'm so sorry." His words echoed out in his own pitiful sadness. No matter what he did it always ended up like this. Missy knew this as well that's why she tried far less than the others to be affectionate and loved by any tom from across the neighborhood streets.

She had a little fire in her eyes. Far more than the tabby cat before her but less than the she-cat he first laid eyes on.

Missy spared him a look, disgusted. "This just goes to show you how much you've messed up in your life. You never want to settle down that's for certain but you keep living a lifestyle as though you want to. You're twisted in the head. Eager to chase some she-cats' tail but never once thought of the consequences."

Bernie's claws dug into the soil beneath. He hated being scolded like some kit fresh from indoors of a comfort home. He hated being talked down, self-conscious of his actions, and corrected for his many, many mistakes.

Nothing good ever came from this kind of method to live. It was dull, and boring and with a touch of excitement.

"And these no-name jobs are going to get you killed one day. Mark my words, just look at you!" Sh exclaimed, detecting every scar every strike against his disobedience and close calls from death. It fueled her anger. Giving her purpose to shout and tell him what he's cut out in the path he's chosen to follow.

He gruffly spoke,"it's none of your concern. I can handle myself better than before. I'm not as naive as I was and Gold finds me easier work to do for far better things to enjoy."

"Shut up, you stupid tom!" She snapped. "I'm so sick of your run around games and broken promises and 'things will get better just wait and see' acts!" She lashed out catching his ear and muzzle. Blood dripped down his chest turning his white bib pink. He didn't try to fight back it was useless to speak reason with her.

Bernie would take his punishment quietly and when she was out of breath he would lick his wounds and walk off to sleep another day.

"Next time will be different. Whether you heed my word or not isn't my problem any longer." He pushed himself up again, wobbly in the knees before turning and leaving behind another chapter of his story.

. . .

White. So pure, untouched and holy. It was soft like a dove's feather, and soothing again every stroke of his tongue. Even though there was a family given to gentle creature and was taken away she still seek out the best. For herself and her newfound group of cats.

The tom never felt this way about any female. Not even the many lovers before her. She was different. She was perfect. She was his to keep and hold and protect. She was also staying behind and not traveling with him back to the city and it's hard life.

That he could understand, but not by his side? He could run off together with her. No one would find them out in the middle of no where. He could start over like he always told himself he would. It would be just the two of them, and perhaps maybe, just maybe he could accept that part of him that he rejected so many times before.

"Father?" Golden eyes gaped at Bernie. Shining like the sun setting before them as another day drew to a close. The large gray kit stumbled before Bernie, and his paws caught the klutzy kit before he could slip into the water.

For once, that word didn't send him running toward the hills. Or trip over his tail and paws or have him wondering why he always ended up in problems like this one. He didn't truly get his motives either. He seized thinking and let the crash of the open sea and squawks of seagulls let the sweet dream last until he awakened.

"Yes, Ripplekit." His throat vibrated in a soft purr. The white pelt beside him moving into the curb of his belly.

"Can you please stay just this once?" His mew was so innocent. High-pitched as if he was born yesterday. It has been one month since his kits' birth. An entire four months when he arrived in this little grouped Clan or so they called it. And only two months time did he share such intimate days with Winter. So beautiful and perhaps the one she-cat he's been searching for.

Bernie drew his tongue over his son to stop his antic quivers. "I might." He said, glancing over at Winter as her daughter snuggled into the pure white fur of her mother. The perfect picture that only his nightmares seem to spurn up from the far corners of his mind.

He settled into the quiet scenery letting the lull of the sea accumulate in his memories. "I just might, this time around."

A/N: I apologize for the very late update. It's been quite the busy month as the other months have been. I'll be sure to present another chapter longer and much appreciated with this one. It wasn't easy choosing the most plausible character for this role themed "father," but I managed in the end. This chapter should end on a happier note than the other two.