Chapter Three: The Product

It was a snowy Christmas Morning. Han and Adolf were sitting cuddled up on the couch. The cold air surrounded them like an aura of disappointment. Han was scared and slightly angry. Adolf had done something horrible. Adolf was wrong about how he thought Han would take the news. He wasn't a big fan of the present he was going to receive.

"It's fine babe, we've got everything we need here." Adolf pleaded.

"What are we supposed to do with it? We don't even know what it's going to be like. This has never happened to anyone before. Why did we have to be the ones to test pilot this? Couldn't you have just done this with one of your soldiers?" Han contested.

"Babe, if it doesn't work out, we can just get rid of it and pretend it never happened. We do it all the time. We have the facilities to burn it." Adolf said in an attempt to make Han feel better.

"Baby, it's not that I'm worried about it working, I'm worried about what it can do to you. I don't know if you can survive this. Do you even know the anatomy of the… thing? You don't even have a functional name for it yet!" Han shouted.

"Abraham's ball sack, I didn't even think about me. I was thinking about you. I love you and I want you to be happy." Hitler said.

"I'm just scared" Han said.

"Well, I know what would cheer you up." Hitler hinted.

Hitler turned around and grabbed a can of black olives and gave them to Han. He then ripped his pants off. He bent over and looked at Han. Han saw it in his eyes, he saw that Hitler was getting serious. Hitler wanted to play. Han grabbed a pilot's cap that Hitler had lying around and put it on. Hitler grabbed two pairs of rollerskates and put them on his hands and feet.

"Put your key in the ignition!" Hitler yelled in a stern military voice.

"Copy that." Han replied.

Han shoved himself inside of Hitler's ass. He moaned a long loud moan.

"Start the engine!" Hitler said a little more exasperated.

Han started thrusting in and out and as he did so he put on his goggles. He started pushing Hitler around the house with his hebrew pelvis. While Han moaned and groaned, Hitler made airplane noises.

"Ready the bombs! We're bombing the Brits right now!"

Han started throwing olives at objects around the house while Hitler made sound effects with his mouth. Olives were being thrown at anything Han could knock down. The plants, the pictures the paintings and even the ashes of Han's parents that he had put in an urn on the bookshelf. It was the best anal sex they'd ever had.

Han came inside of one of the olives and threw it on the ground. It splattered all over the floor and pooled in a low spot.

"That was an incendiary bomb!" Han yelled in excitement.

Hitler was instantly on cleanup duty. He got a straw and slurped it up from the ground, and spit it all back into a cup.

"Better not waste these!" Hitler exclaimed.

He went around and picked up all of the olives. He dipped them in the cum and ate them.

After the two enjoyed a nice glass of wine, by the fire, Han looked Hitler dead in the eye, smiled tenderly and said to him:

"Dolfie, I love you so much. You are the single most important person in the world to me. I love you with all my heart and I want you to know that I want you to be happy just as much as you want me to be happy. I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready for it. I'm ready to be the father to our child. I'm so glad we're pregnant."