Heart of the Sword

Finding Where I Stand

Bakageta

'If I just put my strong feelings in charge,
Then I will have a chance at my dream again.'
--'Heart of the Sword-Yoake Mae' T.M. Revolution

One-hundred and fifty years after the end of the Winter War; Five days after Ichigo awoke

"Rukia-oba, I have a request."

Yuudai was planning to ask Rukia to help him practice, and Ichigo was watching the scene unfold through the still pond next to the memory building. He could have watched directly through Yuudai's eyes if he'd wanted to but the last time he'd done that it had been like the memories. He'd been forced to do what Yuudai was doing and he'd been unable to react to anything. That was something he wasn't eager to feel again.

"I'd be more likely to agree if you'd stop calling me aunt, you know I hate that." Rukia said as they walked down the halls of the thirteenth division.

"Father tells me it's either -oba or -san."

"Fine. So, what did you want to ask?"

"I wanted to know if you would spar with me."

"I thought you only sparred with Nii-sama?"

"Yes, but this is something I want to keep secret from Father."

Rukia raised an eyebrow incredulously.

"What would you want to keep secret from him?" She asked. "Usually you tell him immediately of any accomplishment you make, no matter how slight, like you're some kind of over-eager puppy."

The view in the pond shifted wildly as Yuudai glanced around for anyone who would be listening.

"I learned Shikai, and I want to be more experienced with it before I use it in a spar against Father."

"Ah," Rukia nodded sagely, "You want a trump card. Fine, give me a moment to shove my paper work off onto Sentaro and Kiyone. Go wait for me at my private practice field."

Ichigo looked up from the pond as Yuudai made the short journey to Rukia's training field. This was the kind of thing that made his existence unbelievably boring, all the mundane activities that Yuudai went through daily dragged on for an observer.

"Shugorei-san?"

It was Yuudai, Ichigo glanced at the pond and saw that he'd reached the field then he looked up to the sky and answered.

"Yeah?" Ichigo wondered why anyone would be so formal with a being that was basically part of their own soul.

"What's going to happen when I release Shikai?"

"Pfff… Damned if I know."

"What?!" In the inner world Yuudai's shock was palpable. "How can you not know?!"

"I've never done this before." Ichigo said simply, like he was speaking to a young child.

"But…"

Ichigo snorted, it seemed like Yuudai was having trouble understanding that, in this, at least, Ichigo was no more experienced than he was. 'He's not used to not knowing.' Ichigo realized. 'He's always known exactly what was happening in his life and now that he doesn't, he's scared.'

"Yuudai, are you ready?" Rukia's voice interrupted their conversation.

Ichigo looked back down to the pond and saw that Rukia had arrived at her private training field.

"I am, Rukia-oba." Yuudai said, showing no outward signs of the anxiety that manifested in the inner world as a sudden, cold breeze.

"Then when you're ready you can release your Shikai."

In the few quiet moments before Yuudai spoke the release command, eddies of power began flowing through the inner world and converging on Ichigo. Instinctively, Ichigo took in the power swirling around him and as it built up, almost to the point where he couldn't contain it, he began releasing his own power. Then both of their energies surged.

"Sakebi," Yuudai said, and his voice echoed throughout the inner world and resonated with Ichigo's very core. "Shugorei!"

As soon as the last syllable had been spoken, there was a surge of power and Ichigo was pulled forward and upward into the sky. As he rose his senses became muffled and eventually blank. Seconds later, his senses returned in a burst and for a few moments he couldn't move from the intensity of it all. Whatever its specifics, Shikai had brought him out alongside his wielder. Everything around him seemed to be so much more real than it had in Yuudai's inner world.

Ichigo had appeared a few steps behind and to Yuudai's right with a long, plain daitō sword resting comfortably in the palm of his hand. Instead of the slim-fitting clothing he'd worn in the inner world, Ichigo was wearing a modified Shihakusho; the collar extended into a hood that completely covered his bright hair. There was also some kind of visor that covered his eyes and made his vision inhumanly detailed.

"That's fitting." Rukia said as she watched Ichigo. "Though, I can't say I've ever seen a Shikai like that before."

"Yeah." Yuudai agreed as he turned to see Ichigo. "Shugorei?"

"Hmm?" Ichigo had been distracted. Rukia's stance was familiar, like he'd seen it before, but he had no idea where. He wasn't even sure if he'd existed before he'd been Yuudai's sword.

"What do we do now?"

Ichigo let out a short laugh. "We attack, moron."

Yuudai glanced over at Rukia, who was watching curiously.

"Unless she knows how to lip-read, she can't hear me." It was one of the things that Ichigo had known as soon as his Shikai had been released.

"Okay…" Yuudai agreed tentatively before turning back to Rukia. "Rukia-oba, aren't you going to release your Zanpakuto?"

"Only if I need to. Now, you can come at me whenever you're ready." Rukia replied, shifting into a ready stance with one hand gripping her sheath and the other hand gripping the hilt of her Zanpakuto.

Ichigo and Yuudai moved in unison, each dashing towards Rukia from a different angle. Ichigo sped up, easily, leaving Yuudai behind, and raised his daitō over his head so he could bring it down once he reached his target.

Rukia brought her own blade up to block. Instead of clashing against it, Ichigo's daitō went through it and headed towards Rukia's shoulder. Rukia flashed away across the field before Yuudai was able to catch her.

"You're slow." Ichigo said when Yuudai turned to glare at him.

"This is a spar!" He bit out. "You don't cut people's zanpakuto in half in a spar!"

"A spar is practice for a real fight." Ichigo replied, pointing out what he saw as obvious. "If you don't treat it as a real fight you'll be killed once you get into a real fight."

"I'm going to fight Hollows! Not Shinigami!"

"That doesn't matter. Besides, she's coming back."

Yuudai turned in time to see that Rukia was racing towards him with her disconcertingly whole sword ready to slice into him. She was close enough that he wouldn't be able to completely block her strike. With a flicker of motion, Ichigo interposed himself between Rukia and his wielder. He had easily caught her sword on his own, this time though the blades held and grated against one another.

Rukia chuckled, "Your zanpakuto's name is more fitting than I thought."

She pulled out of their deadlock and sheathed her zanpakuto.

"What?" Yuudai was uncharacteristically confused.

"I can't attack." Ichigo said discontentedly, resting the daitō's long blade on his shoulder and scowling. "I can only guard and counterattack." Ichigo had known that as soon as he'd decided to attack Rukia, he'd kept going because he'd thought Yuudai would follow through when Rukia was confused.

"When he attacked me," Rukia observed, "His blade went through Sode no Shirayuki and my shoulder without doing any damage, but, when I attacked you, his blade was solid when he guarded. It's a bit straightforward, but, if you're creative enough, you'll be able to do some interesting things."

"Like?"

"Figure it out yourself, brat. I can't do everything for you." Then Rukia drew her sword again and took a ready stance.

Yuudai ran at Rukia again, but, instead of following the same motions as their earlier attack, Ichigo flash-stepped away and into the air. Rukia was skilled and there was no way she would fall for the same trick twice. He waited until he saw an opening; Rukia had made an attempt at her brother's trademark Senka, it was near perfect in form though at a much slower speed. Ichigo let himself plummet to the ground as soon as he saw that Yuudai, despite all his practice, wasn't anticipating the second strike.

As soon as his feet touched ground, Ichigo knocked Rukia's second strike away and followed with a kick to her stomach. Rukia was flung backwards, but righted herself and came to a skidding stop.

"That was Senka?" Yuudai asked as Rukia caught her breath.

"Yes." Rukia admitted after a few moments. "If not for your zanpakuto, I would have hit you. Just because I am not Nii-sama doesn't mean I am incapable of using his attacks. My attack was much slower; you should have been able to block it on your own. Especially considering how often Nii-sama drills you on it."

"Yes, Rukia-oba." Yuudai's head was bowed. Ichigo had realized after only a few of his wielder's sparring matches with his father that this was a sign of shame.

Ichigo was standing between the two; he'd been slightly thrown of balance by Rukia's sudden, impromptu lecture. What little part he'd played in the fight had convinced him that whoever he'd been before, if he'd been anyone at all, had been a fighter. For the few seconds he'd been in motion, Ichigo had felt truly real, like the world had felt when Yuudai had first released him.

"Don't feel too bad, Yuudai. This is a spar, its entire purpose is to help you improve and making mistakes is how you do that."

"Yes, Rukia-oba." Yuudai agreed without much feeling.

For a moment Ichigo saw sympathy in Rukia's eyes before she, once again, took up her stance.

"You can come at me whenever you're ready." She said, and, after a few seconds, Yuudai did.

For most of the rest of their sparring session, Ichigo stood on the sidelines. Yuudai was not used to fighting alongside others, and it showed. His movements took no consideration for Ichigo who was only able to flash in occasionally to keep Rukia's sword at bay. Admittedly, Yuudai was very skilled. He had yet to face anyone in a completely serious fight, but despite this he was able to adapt to his opponent's style. And, while he lacked experience, he was talented enough to give many lower seated shinigami a fight for their positions.

'But he's convinced he's fighting alone.' Ichigo thought idly to himself as he watched as Rukia and Yuudai all but danced around each other, their blades throwing off sparks as they struck. 'He's known my name for almost a week, but he treats me like some high and mighty god. Shinigami respect their zanpakuto, sure, but they don't keep them at arm's length.'

Ichigo sighed, 'At least he's not as bad as Zaraki. Wait…' Ichigo wondered for a moment how he knew Yuudai was treating him better than Kenpachi Zaraki would have. Neither he, nor Yuudai, had ever met the Eleventh Division's monstrous captain.

The sound of metal grating against metal drew Ichigo's attention back to Yuudai and Rukia. They had seemed evenly matched throughout the fight, but, as Rukia shoved Yuudai away and spun around behind him easily bringing the blunt edge of her zanpakuto to rest against her nephew's throat, the difference in their skills became clear.

"We're done for now." She said after Yuudai had lowered his sword in a gesture of surrender. "You need more practice in using your Shikai. As you are now, you have no hope of causing Nii-sama to even consider releasing Senbonzakura."

"Yes, Rukia-oba." Yuudai agreed, quietly. He sheathed his sword, and Ichigo's awareness dimmed as the blade descended into its saya.

When Ichigo woke in Yuudai's inner world it was night. Yuudai was asleep, and, apparently, Ichigo had been too. It seemed strange that he, as a zanpakuto spirit, had been tired by being released. Maybe because Yuudai had been tired? Zanpakuto drew their strength from their wielders, so maybe he had been exhausted simply because Yuudai had been so as well?

"That could be it." Ichigo muttered as he sat up, but it didn't seem quite right.

He had woken on the bank of the viewing pond, which was now dark as Yuudai slept. There was nothing interesting for Ichigo to do at night. Normally he would have slept for lack of anything better to do, but he'd already slept away his exhaustion. So, with nothing better to do, he wandered the complex of buildings that made up Yuudai's inner world. He didn't have a destination in mind as he wandered, but he eventually arrived at the compound's main gates.

Surprisingly enough, a woman was standing outside the gate. She had pale, feathery hair and blue eyes that together gave her an ethereal look in the dim starlight. Her kimono was a light grey, almost white, and was embroidered with a silver-threaded pattern of feathers. Unlike Ichigo, she fit with the setting of Yuudai's inner world.

"It took you long enough." The woman observed. "Now let me in."

"Who the hell are you?"

"What a poor memory." She commented. "You only fought my Lady Rukia a few hours ago."

"You're her zanpakuto?" Ichigo asked skeptically.

"Yes, so let me in so I can introduce myself properly."

Ichigo let the woman in, making sure to latch the gate behind her.

"I am Sode no Shirayuki." She spoke after Ichigo had finished locking the gate and had turned to face her.

"Shugorei." Ichigo figured that that was the name the other zanpakuto wanted.

"You take me for a fool, Kurosaki Ichigo?" Shirayuki scoffed. "I recognize the man who wielded me for three months."

Shirayuki paused and looked Ichigo over.

"What?" Ichigo asked defensively. He'd been taken off guard; he hadn't expected Shirayuki would know his other name.

"I was just thinking that Shugorei always had a bit of a hero complex."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I came here to find out why Shugorei had changed so much, and instead I find Kurosaki Ichigo. It seems interesting things have happened while I was focused on my Lady. Perhaps the Crimson Princess would know?"

Sode no Shirayuki trailed off, staring contemplatively at nothing in particular.

Ichigo shook his head and turned to walk farther into the compound, muttering to himself. "I give up, you're too weird and I've got enough shit to deal with on my own."

"Don't give up, Kurosaki Ichigo!" Shirayuki spoke earnestly, catching Ichigo's hand before he could leave. "My Lady has missed you all this time, but she perseveres. She holds hope for you when few others do the same.

"Allow me to discuss this with those more experienced than myself. I will return and tell you as much as I am able to."

"Fine." Ichigo agreed.

Notes/Translations/Info:

-Daitō: A type of Japanese sword whose blade was over two 'shaku' (1 shaku is roughly 30 cm or 1 foot). This is the kind of sword that Ichigo uses while in Bankai, though the one he uses now during Shikai is much less decorated and has a normally colored blade.

- About Ichigo/Shugorei's Shikai: A few specifics that I wasn't able to get into in the chapter. Ichigo only has access to the same amount of reiatsu that Yuudai currently has, so if Yuudai improves, Ichigo does as well. The amount of reiatsu Yuudai has is much, much less than Ichigo had in canon. However, even though their reiatsu levels are equal, their skill levels aren't. Ichigo is superior to Yuudai in several things (like flash-step, hand-to-hand and sword combat, and experience) and Yuudai is superior to Ichigo in a few other things (like reiatsu manipulation and kido).

Author's Note:

First off, a big thanks to Unsane Chibi for betaing this, hopefully it was enough to keep you from getting too bored. Next, thanks to SplitToInfinity, who poked me in a review and got me writing. Finally, thanks to all my reviewers: Shandul, MysticMaiden 18, L.M. Fraser, SeraphinaDonna, oneluckyduck sponge Fan (anon), GrimmIchi (anon), SplitToInfinity, ANONYMOUS (ano-wait... I see what you did there...), Fic Hunter, HK-Revan, sandcat (anon), Dark Inu Fan, and detergentfan (anon).

So, hopefully this was an interesting chapter. We got a bit of fighting, a bit of Sode no Shirayuki, and a ton of confusion. I've realized that I won't be able to pull off alternating between only Ichigo and Hollow!Ichigo, so instead I'll alternate between Ichigo and various other characters. Chapter 4 is already planned as Hollow!Ichigo, but after that the even numbered chapters are up for grabs. Is there any character whose POV you want to see? Tell me and I'll try to work them in.

One thing I've thought about was setting up a forum for this and maybe my other fics. It would be good for me for a few reasons: I'd be able to bounce ideas off of people, I'd get to know you guys, and (hopefully) you guys will pester me into writing more which means more updating. It'd be good for you because you could pester me to write. I'll set it up if at least a few of you guys want me to, so tell me in a review or in a PM.

As always, PLEASE REVIEW! I have ANONYMOUS REVIEWS ENABLED, so you have no excuse. Reviews let me know what you think, and encourage me to write. I don't even mind if you just copy-paste 'good job!', and believe me, somebody has already done that.