Ichigo POV

Well, it's my birthday again. So...what now? I'm still seventeen. Rather too old for birthday parties of sort. Maybe I could use some of my part time money and play in an arcade close to my house. Nah! Too lazy. Hmm... I guess I could sleep some mo- "Iichigooooo!"

Great. Can't the old man just leave it for today? Just one time in a year? I slammed the old man down on the floor. "Will you can it for a day?"

"Lazy son! You've been sleeping past ten! Your sisters are worried sick."

"Uh dad. He's always been doing that for the past couple of months since he started college."

"Karin-chan's right! We only get to see him three days per week since he chose to be in a dorm room. And they're rather short!"

"How about we let captain birthday boy get his nap since he doesn't have any classes today."

Yeah. How about we listen to what Karin says for once? Wonder how my friends are doing in their respective colleges. At least they don't have an idiot of a dad busting in their dorm rooms. I'm so lucky my dorm mates were at the beach today. It's bad enough how much pity they give me each time my dad comes. Though I did catch one of them gawking at Yuzu in some sexual expression. If that bastard ever comes near her, I'll...oh crud I'm acting like a dad. Come on, Ichigo. They're in highschool. They can manage. No spoonfeeding. Anyways, they left the dorm room as I plopped back into my bed. Maybe I should check the inner world.

I open my eyes again to see a giant city. It's still underwater? Meh. Least I can just swim around. "Happy birthday, Ichigo."

I turned my head to see Tensa Zangetsu. From the looks of it, he's still fused with my hollow. "Tensa Za-"

"It's been quite a while. How was dealing with quincies?"

"Apparently I was the only one who can't lose bankai. I wonder why?" I said, sarcastically asking the question.

"Who know? Maybe the rule changes if you're a hybrid like those cars."

"Hah hah hah. Very funny. And I predict if you defuse, hollow will throw fits at me,"I said, giving another carcatic remark.

"Speaking of which, I forgot to defuse."

I actually would've preferred him being fused. But, too late. After blinking, I saw Tensa Zangetsu and my hollow in front of me. Heh. He's still in his beastform, barefooted with a long mullet. I felt a hand at my t-shirt as he pulled me towards him. "Neva' fuckin' do tha again, ya hear me?"

"You were right about him throwing fits, Ichigo."

"Tha wha he said? Why I-wait a minute. When did this dumbass grow four fuckin' inches?"

More like when did you become four inches shorter. I don't remember the last time I checked my height. I snorted, patting his head. "Now now, hollow. You'll become my height after a year and few months. Don't get your mullet tied in a kn-OW!"

Oh you should see him. His face all pink with rage. Funny. When he's sad, it turns blue, when he's mad it turns a pinkish red. Wonder how much more colors will come? I saw my hand to see drips of blood oozing out. "The he-"

"PFFFFFFFFT!"

Oh that asshole just did not blew a raspberry at me and crossed his shoulders now did he? I would spank him with those yaoi paddles I found at comic con one day if he was brat-sized. Boy, I'm jealous of the spider dude. At least venom wasn't inside his inner mind. He got powers from a mutated spider that bit him and I get a stab by the sword to get mine. Go figure.

"Hollow. When did you blow raspberries?" Zangetsu asked.

"Probably that form lowers his vocabulary the longer he stays in that form."

"Oi! I dare ya ta fuckin' say it ta my face, asshole!"

"You're the one that turned you back towards me, moron."

"Argue any further and I will chain both you brats to a bed, leave you there, and go swimming!"

Daaaamn. When did Zangetsu act like this? Not my fault hollow has an IQ of a gradeschool kid. "He started it, Tensa!~ And I heard what yer sayin' there. I do not have a brain capacity of a grade- whateva!"

Did I just hear hollow call his name like a whiny brat? What did I miss whenever I wasn't here? "Well, I ended it so don't whine about it and Ichigo please be more optimistic. Can't really keep things to yourself since we'll know what you're thinking," Zangetsu said.

"No kidding. I never knew getting powers meant losing privacy of the mind."

"It can't be that bad."

"How would you know. Do you have a mind of your own?"

"Well..."

"Exactly. I already know hollow doesn't have one with that form of his."

"Do ya wanna die, asshole?"

"Will you learn how to speak normal, jackass!"

"Here we go again," Zangetsu said.

"But out, Zangetsu!"

After yelling back and forth with my hollow. I felt chains around my ankles and wrists. I saw Hollow with his chain wrists and ankles connected to mine. And we're in a bedroom. In our boxers. And Zangetsu was swimming in his swim shorts according to what I see in the window. Great. I get chained to a hollow for a birthday. Greatest gift kami would offer me. NOT! I turned to my hollow. Polka dot boxers and a matching hat? Does this guy have anything in his wardrobe not polka dotted nor for battle? "Way ta go, bakaichi!"

"Shut up, hollow."

"Make me."

"Hollow. As much as I'd love to ducktape your mouth shu-"

"Let's see ya try, king."

"Again with that? At least call me by my name for once!"

"Make me."

"Kami, you're such a brat," I muttered.

"I heard tha! Get the guts ta say it ta my face, unless if yer scared."

"Pft. Me? Scared of you? Zangetsu pissed off is definition of scary."

"Fer once. I agree. It happens sometimes."

I wonder why? "Oi! I heard tha!"

"I'm sorry I being dominant makes me in charge of my own thought and I unfortunately can't hide them from you and Zangetsu?"

"...say wha?"

"Tch. Never mind."

I sighed. Kami please get me away from this guy. "I'm tellin' Zangetsu. You always keep hurting my feelings."

"You have feelings? So much for being a hollow," I snorted.

Next thing I know, I was pinned down by my hollow, his hands blocking mine. He's rather light compared to my body. I used this to my advantage and turned my body and pinned him down on the bed. He struggled to move. "Get off o me."

I was about to until Zangetsu opened the door and got confused at. "Are you two trying to...ahem."

"If it's that you're dead wrong, Zangetsu," I said.

"I dun't get it," said the hollow, still pinned down.

"You sure, Ichigo? It looks like it to me."

"Shut up. When did your mind become dirty?"

"I only guessed. I mean...only humans get into such posture. Human and a hollow...not so sure."

"...Oh! Dirty Zangetsu! Why would we do tha? We both prefer being virgins. Unless if he wants it for his birthday."

"Heck no, hollow. That's just putting 'go fuck yourself' to a whole new level. Though I admit that's something to try and see."

"Wanna try?"

"I guess. But si-"

"Yer toppin'. It's yer birthday."

"What about yours?"

"If I got no name, what made ya think I had a birthday, dumbass?"

"You can share mine. And I'll name you Shirogetsu. And topping? We're men, Shirogetsu. We can always switch or have no dominancy at all."

"Thanks. First yet best birthday present eva."

"Same here, Shirogetsu. Same here."

(I'm skipping sex scene cause I can't describe. I'll leave you to imagine it all.)