A/N: okay, I'm gonna rate this chapter M, just to be safe. Enjoy! :]


Grace: (walks into guesthouse all dolled up) hey Jack! Madison…(glares)

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Jack: (turns to Madison) just ignore her. She'll leave.

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Grace: puh-lease, I have better things to do. I just came here to pass the time…and attempt to make Jack jealous by casually mentioning I have a date tonight. Mind if I dance like a whore in front of my—I mean your—boyfriend?

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Madison: psh, not at all! I mean, it's not like I'm threatened by you or anything. And it's not like I'm some crazy insecure girlfriend who compares every sexual experience she has with that of her best friend's…and waits outside random houses that her boyfriend parked his car in front of…psh, no way!

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Jack: (still oblivious) hey, do those brownies taste that good or is it just me?

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Grace: Jack, are you high again?

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Jack: dope! I mean, NOPE! (nods his head)

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Grace: JACK, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN THROWN OUT THE POT BROWNIES YET! HOW COULD YOU?

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Madison: (laughs) oh Grace, don't be such a prude.

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Grace: psh, I'm not a prude!

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Jack: (rolls eyes)

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(Tik Tok by Kesha blares through the speakers)

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Grace: you know, I really don't get this song. I mean, why would boys want to touch my garbage? (looks utterly confused)

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Madison: (snorts)

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Jack: uh, it's junk.

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Grace: I still don't get it.

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Jack: what about "brush my teeth with a bottle of jack?" do you get that part? (smirks)

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Grace: no! I mean, what is a bottle of jack, and who brushes their teeth with bottles?

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Madison: (laughs) I brushed my teeth with a bottle of Jack this morning (winks at Jack)

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Grace: uhh…(looks uncomfortable)

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Madison: (starts making out with Jack, trying to outdo Lauren, who is busy sucking Jesse's face off)

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Grace: cool move…mind if I copy it? (shoves Madison aside and jams her tongue down Jack's throat)

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Madison: oh yeah? Well, check out this one! (shoves Grace aside, pulls Jack's pants down and gives him an impromptu blowjob)

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Grace: HOW DARE YOU SIN IN MY GUESTHOUSE? (faints)

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Jack: (rolls his eyes) chicks...whattaya gonna do with 'em? (shrugs)

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Madison: we sure showed her, huh Jackie? (smiles devilishly)

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Jack: uh, sure. ...So, who wants more brownies?

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Later, when Ben comes over to Grace's house…

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Ben: mmm, good cookies.

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Grace: oh, don't worry, I can teach Adrian how to make them

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Ben: huh?

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Grace: oh it's nothing…I just hope that someday you won't leave Adrian—the mother of your baby—for me. Especially when your baby is sick…you know, like in that Lady Gaga song, Bad Romance? That's another song I don't get…

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Ben: uh, I won't. But I'm still deciding between you, Adrian, and Amy. I mean, the feisty Latina's grat in the sack, but you're a hot blonde "good girl" and Amy's been the love of my life since ten seconds after I met her. It's really a tough choice. (strokes his chin in deep thought)

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Grace: (puts hands over her heart) Oh, Ben, I'm here for you! You deserve all three of us! I'm gonna pray for you every night for at least two hours! Even though I should be studying for med school…

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Ben: WHAT? You'd study instead of praying for me? How could you say something so selfish? I need all the help I can get, you know…

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Grace: (falls at Ben's feet) OH, BEN, I AM SO SORRY I DISSAPOINTED YOU! IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME FOR ALL YOUR OTHER OPTIONS! (sobs)

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Ben: (rolls eyes) whatever, just lemme take some cookies home.

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Grace: oh, take as many as you want! I'll make a whole other batch! Do you want the recipe?

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Ben: nah, I'll just keep coming here to get my sugar (kisses Grace)

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Grace: YES! And make sure to let Jack know what he's missing! uh, not that the orgasms he gave me can even compare to what you do to me, Ben! (grins)

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Ben: wait a minute, I don't want these cookies anymore!

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Grace: why not?

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Ben: I just remembered, you made these same cookies for Ricky when you were dating him. And whatever touches Ricky shall never touch me. Well, except Adrian's vagina…and hopefully Amy's (winks)

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Grace: oh, okay. Good luck with that! And no matter who you choose to date, I'll always be your friend, Ben!

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Ben: oh, that reminds me…would you mind getting down on the groun?

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Grace: well, it's a little early for—

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Ben: oh no, not that. I just wanna shine my new $4000 Italian loafers on something before I head out.

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Grace: oh, of course…wow, what a relief! (lays on the floor while Ben shines his shoes on her clothes)

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Ben: you know, some guys let their girlfriends walk all over them…I'm not one of those guys.

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Grace: (gushes): and that's precisely what I adore about you, Benjamin!

…So, about that Lady Gaga song…how can romance be bad? Isn't it supposed to be good? And another thing I don't get-

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Ben: (hurries out)

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Grace: uh, Ben?

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A/N: well, that was just my take on Ben and Grace's relationship. I feel like Ben's taking advantage of her, and the fact that she's always there. He also feels possessive about Adrian, and "loves" Amy but feels comfortable kissing other girls five seconds after they fight.

Oh, and I just had to make fun of Grace for being a prude. I'll crack up just picturing her listening to any kind of dirty song, no matter how mild the innuendo is… :)

Oh, and review! I'm always open for suggestions…or you could just tell me how funny I am. :]