I own nothing...Jeez.
Lots of love to all my reviewers!
I am amazed by how much people like these.
And to the Dear RussianAssassin : Yes, I will do a special set of Rules for each Avenger, and especially for Bucky, Sam and Wade, they are my favorites.
It was twelve o'clock noon at S.H.E.I.L.D, and most of the new agents were gathered at the same table in one of the large cafeterias.
All of them were holding the packet of Rules on their laps. Coulson entered the room, retrieved his own lunchtray, and walked over to them.
"I am going to have to warn you not eat or drink while reading those rules" Coulson said calmly.
The rookies stared down at the papers they were holding, one woman began reading...and promptly spit out her drink.
53. Sif is not Thor's ex-girlfriend.
54. Agent Coulson and Darcy Lewis are not taser ninjas.
55. Pepper Potts' favorite drink is not Dr. Pepper.
56. Agent Wade Wilson is not a zombie, and you may not reenact zombie films with him.
57. Steve Rogers may be ninety years old, but he still has the face and body of a young man, stop trying to hook him up with your grandmother.
58. When parachuting, always wear a parachute. No matter what Steve Rogers says.
59. 'Blinded by science' is not Dr. Banner's theme song, remember we warned you about theme songs.
60. Never tell Tony Stark that you think his dad was hotter than him...even if that is more or less true.
61. Do not ask Wanda and Peitro Maximoff any questions concerning their parents, they have serious Daddy issues.
62. Yes, at one point Peitro Maximoff did look different, but commenting on that subject will raise questions concerning alternate dimensions and Hugh Jackman, so keep quiet.
63. If you are afraid of spiders, Wanda Maximoff is probably the reason why. There shall be no attempt to retaliate, Peitro moves very fast.
64. Do not play the song 'Witchy Woman' when Wanda Maximoff is around, it is NOT her theme song, and you will spend the rest of your life trapped in a nightmare.
65. Vision is not a Deltan, even if he doesn't have any hair.
66. When rookies are going out onto the field, you should not shout "Teen Titans Go!" at them, some find it offensive.
67. When Agent Bucky Barnes starts buying backpack leashes off the internet, it usually means that Steve Rogers has done something incredibly heroic and stupid...again.
68. Whenever Col. Rhodes is upset or annoyed, lock him in an airplane with Tony Stark and a couple cases of wine, it's guaranteed to improve his mood.
69. Do not talk about freckles, carrots, or hair dye around Agent Romanov.
70. Never imply that Agent Romanov's hair is actually dyed red, and that she is not a true redhead.
71. Do not ask Agent Romanov to prove that she is true redhead.
72. The Tesseract is not the Arkenstone.
73. Tony Stark has a habit of committing fraud with other peoples social security numbers, just because he can't remember his. Report him, if you catch him doing it.
74. Agent Coulson is not S.H.E.I.L.D'S housekeeper.
75. Do not play the song ' Rockin' in the USA' whenever you see Steve Rogers working out in the gym.
76. Falcon and Agent Barton do not have a secret cub called the 'Bird Bros'. And even if they did have such a club, you would not be allowed to join.
77. Tony Stark and Dr. Banner do not have a secret club called the 'Science Bros'. And even if they did, you are not allowed to join it either.
78. Steve Rogers and Agent Coulson do not have a secret club called the 'American Bros'. And even they did...well you could join their club, since it's not hazardous.
79. Agent Wade Wilson and Loki do not have a secret club called the 'Mischief Bros'. And even if they did...you will be executed for treason if you try to join this club.
80. S.H.E.I.L.D provides uniforms in all sizes, so it is not permissible to show up to your shift wearing nothing but a bedsheet, or your mothers drapes.
81. You are not permitted to use Loki, Thor, Agent Bucky Barnes, or Agent Romanov to create your own personal makeup/shampoo commercials.
82. You may not enroll Steve Rogers in a beauty pageant just so you can call him 'Mr. America'.
Coulson was kneeling on the floor now, delivering CPR to a gasping rookie. "What happened?" sad Hill as she walked in.
"He choked on his food" said Coulson.
Did anyone like these?