Nico didn't stop running. He didn't pay attention to where the shadows were leading him. All he cared about was distance. He wanted to get so far away from Percy that he wouldn't even be able to remember he existed. He wanted to scrub his mind clean of all his tormenting feelings and the memory of just how badly he'd screwed everything up.
Percy knew.
And he'd found out at the worst possible time ever. Nico hadn't had high hopes for how Percy might take the knowledge on a good day. Pity had probably been the best scenario he could have banked on. Maybe indifference. He hadn't really thought Percy would be disgusted, not deep down, but pity was bad enough. And those predictions had depended upon Percy finding out under good conditions, which he hadn't. Instead, Percy found out when he was already mad at him. Percy was madder at him than he'd ever seen. If there was anything that would cause Percy to be repulsed and furious with him over the revelation, this was exactly it.
And it was his fault. He was such an idiot.
Percy was probably horrified right now. He was probably wishing he hadn't hesitated when he'd aimed his sword at Nico. He was probably vividly recalling every moment they'd ever casually touched and reading dubious intentions into it. Percy was probably running to a shower as fast as Nico was running away, desperate to wash off the contamination of every association he'd ever had with Nico. Percy must hate him. Percy probably hated him like he had never hated anyone.
Nico stopped running, but only because his eyes were too blurred with tears to see where he was going.
Running was pointless, anyway. There wasn't anywhere far enough he could go to soften the pain of having ruined everything with Percy. There was no point in running outward. Where he needed to go was down. Retreating to the Underworld might be predictable, but at least Percy couldn't easily get to him there.
Percy tried several times to reach Nico by Iris-message, but Nico wasn't answering.
He called Blackjack. It took his trusty pegasus a while to reach him, but even an ocean wasn't enough to keep him away. Together they rode back to Manhattan where Percy stopped just long enough to pick up some supplies. Then they flew to Nico's hideout, although Percy knew it was hopeless to check: Nico wasn't going to go back there. Nico was hiding. Nico was hiding very specifically from him. There was no way he'd be going to any place where Percy would know to look for him.
Most likely Nico was in the Underworld. It was practically a given.
For lack of any other ideas, Percy rode Blackjack back to camp and tracked down Jason.
If Jason was surprised to see him, he didn't show it.
"Hey Percy," he said casually.
"Have you heard from Nico?" Percy asked, cutting right to the chase.
"Not in a while." Jason's face still didn't betray anything.
"Can…can we go somewhere private?" Percy asked. "I need to ask you some stuff."
Jason raised an eyebrow, and then nodded. He led Percy back to his cabin. "Okay," he said, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "Ask away."
"Is Nico in love with me?"
Percy felt slightly stupid saying the question aloud. The possibility felt far more concrete in his head but sounded kind of ridiculous when shared. He felt egotistical making an assumption like that. But really…what other conclusion could he draw? And Jason was obviously the person who knew the solid answer.
Jason frowned and took far too long to reply. "That's a question you should ask Nico, not me," he finally said.
"I tried asking Nico. He ran away before I could finish the question."
"It's not my place to answer for him."
"But you do know the answer," said Percy. Jason's lack of surprise at the question confirmed that. And as far as Percy was concerned his lack of denial confirmed that he'd been right.
Jason shrugged unhelpfully.
"Look, I really need to talk to him. Do you have any idea where he is? Do you know how to contact him?"
Jason's frown deepened. "No, I honestly don't. I never see him unless he chooses to drop in, which isn't often. Until recently I hadn't heard from him in years. I don't have any way to get ahold of him."
Percy dragged his hands through his hair in frustration. "I don't know what to do! I need to talk to him!"
"Is he going to like what you have to say?" asked Jason.
"Huh?"
"Is Nico going to like what you have to say?" he repeated. "He might have had a good reason for running away. You aren't just tracking him down to force him to listen to something that will hurt him, are you?"
Percy blinked. He hadn't actually planned out what he wanted to say to Nico. He wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing yet. Surprised? Yes. Disturbed? Not really. Flattered? Yeah, of course. Did he return those kinds of feelings? That was a precarious question to try to answer. Annabeth's death still felt too raw and painful for Percy to be able to even consider anyone else in that kind of way. Except Nico didn't feel like an 'anyone else' anymore. For the past few weeks Nico had really been an oasis in Percy's suffering. Nico felt safe and familiar and jeeze, Percy was missing him like crazy. And his anger at him had burned out pretty fast. The more Percy dwelled on what he'd overheard, the harder it was to ignore Annabeth's end of the conversation. Annabeth didn't want to be brought back. He would actually hurt her if he went through with his intentions. Which really, he'd sort of suspected all along but hadn't been willing to believe. No matter how much his brain screamed at him to trade places with her, he now knew that he just couldn't do it. That hard fact hurt a hundred times more than the fact that Nico had told on him. He was stuck with the crappy hand of cards he'd been dealt, and if Nico was now missing from the deck too, Percy didn't even know how he was going to deal with it.
I miss you, don't run away, was the only thing Percy knew for certain he wanted to say. Hopefully that wouldn't hurt him. Would it?
He shook his head. "I don't want to hurt him."
"Wanting and doing are two different things," said Jason. "You'd better not actually hurt him. If you do I will personally escort you to the edge of Tartarus and push you over."
Percy gave Jason an evaluative look. "You're not joking."
"No," Jason confirmed. "The guy's had a hard time. He deserves to catch a break."
"You know, I've kind of been having a hard time lately myself," muttered Percy.
Jason looked at him with genuine empathy. "I know. I'm really sorry about Annabeth."
Percy sighed. "It's fine. I mean, it isn't actually fine. It's the opposite of fine. But yeah. Apparently she's doing okay. Apparently being the one left alive is the worse end of the deal. Who'd have thought, huh?" He laughed humorlessly. "Well. If you hear from Nico, tell him I really need to talk to him okay? Tell him I miss him. Like, a lot, you know?"
Jason nodded. "Yeah, I'll tell him. You should know though that I don't really expect to hear from him any time soon."
"Yeah," said Percy unhappily. "That was my guess. I just don't know where else to go."
"Are you in love with him?" Jason finally ventured to ask.
"I don't know." Percy sighed. "My feelings are pretty complicated at this point."
"Maybe you should sort them out before you track him down," Jason suggested. "It might be better if you both take some time to cool down first. He'll probably take whatever you have to say better if you have a solid answer for him."
"We were having a fight though," said Percy. "He thinks I'm mad at him. He's going to assume the worst if I don't talk to him soon."
"Well maybe you should try talking to Aphrodite. She might help you sort your feelings out faster. Piper could probably get her to visit you."
"No, I don't want to get that many people involved." Percy frowned. "Nico wouldn't like that."
Jason's eyebrows raised, evaluating Percy's answer. He seemed to approve.
"I think you have things more figured out than you think," he said, smiling at Percy.
For some reason Percy's cheeks started burning.
"Uh, yeah, I dunno. I still haven't figured out how to find him."
"Try writing him a letter, maybe. You could give it to Mercury—erm, I mean Hermes. If he can't to get it to Nico directly, then he'd at least be able to pass it on to Hades. I'm sure it would get to Nico eventually."
"Oh," said Percy. "Hey, yeah, that's not a bad idea." He brightened a bit.
"Good." Jason beamed at him. "Let me know if you find him, okay? I kind of worry about him. He makes things harder on himself than they need to be."
"Yeah, I've noticed. I'll let you know."
Percy felt marginally better as he left the Zeus cabin. Jason's suggestion might not have been the fastest way to contact Nico, but it was hopefully likely to be effective. Plus, Nico might be more receptive to reading a letter than to talking face to face.
Maybe.
Dear Nico,
Percy paused and tapped his pen against the table several times. Was 'Dear' the right thing to say? Was it implying too much? Or too generic? He was overthinking this.
I'm not mad.
Okay, so that opening was hardly a work of Shakespeare there, but Percy figured he'd better make that clear right up front. He was really worried Nico wouldn't actually read the letter.
It's true I heard everything. That means I also heard what Annabeth said. I didn't like hearing it but I've had more time to think now and I have to accept what she wants. It's just hard. But I'm not mad anymore. Well. I'm still kind of mad at life for turning out like it did. But I'm not mad at you.
I wish you hadn't run away.
No, that sounded accusatory. He crossed that last sentence out. Immediately putting Nico on the defensive was not going to help his odds of the letter actually being read all the way through.
Please don't run away from me. I miss you. A lot.
Percy stared at his sheet of paper for a very long time. Now he'd gotten the facts down. All that was left to say were feelings. That was the hard part. And it didn't help that his dyslexia made it hard to focus on his writing. He kept trying to re-read what he'd already put down but the words kept seeming to rearrange themselves as he stared. Focusing for too long gave him a headache.
I admit I was surprised by what you said. But in a good way. It makes me happy.
I
'I' what? It was still hard for Percy to really nail down how he was feeling. There was too much interference from feelings not related to Nico. Grief. Injustice. Helplessness. He still loved Annabeth, obviously. But Annabeth was gone. How did he feel about Nico with all those things removed? It was hard to separate.
Nico was really important to him. Thinking about him made him feel warm and happy. Thinking about not seeing him again made his chest ache. He definitely had feelings for his friend. But…were they strong enough? He didn't want to lead Nico on.
I'm not good at writing letters and I'm kind of messed up right now. (Stating the obvious.) I hope you can be patient with me while I work some stuff out. I know I'll work it out faster if you're around. I want to talk to you in person. I know I already said it but I miss you. Please come back? I'm at Camp Half-Blood for now. If you don't come I don't know how long I'll stay. I'll understand though if you don't want to see me.
I hope you do though.
Love, Percy
Percy agonized for a while over his sign off. Using 'love' felt dangerous. But anything else felt insincere. 'Love' was the standard way he would sign a letter to anyone really important. In the end he had to go with sincerity, and 'love, Percy' was the only thing that felt right. So. Hopefully Nico wouldn't read more into that than Percy meant. Or maybe it would be good if he did. Maybe Percy fully meant it that way, and not just in the kind of context he meant when he wrote a letter to his mom. He wished he were totally sure. He felt like he would be sure if he could only see Nico again. He just needed to see him without his anger and Nico's walls in the way. He hoped Nico would give him the chance.
Now he just had to find Hermes. He set off for the nearest Hermes Express office.
Nico was keeping himself busy. He had to, because if he slowed down enough to let his mind wander it wasted no time in torturing him with memories of Percy's face all twisted up with anger and hurt and betrayal. And then it would further torment him with thoughts of how Percy's reactions were valid and wow, he really did deserve Percy hating him, who was he even fooling. He was glad he hadn't looked at Percy after slipping up and confessing. The horror that must have been on his face would have killed him.
And so the only way Nico was functioning was by running himself so ragged that he was too tired to think. It was hard to dwell on self-pity when an animated skeleton was charging at you with an iron blade. Nico was doing a lot of training. And when he wasn't training he was sleeping because training for hours on end was exhausting.
Percy's letter was delivered promptly to Nico's residence.
Unfortunately Nico's residence held other residents aside from Nico. And as Nico was not expecting to get any mail he wasn't checking the mailbox in front of his dad's palace. He was too busy training with the skeleton warriors to keep his mind off his problems to notice things like a deliveryman slipping a narrow envelope into the mailbox.
Hades noticed though.
The god of the Underworld discreetly meandered over to the mailbox and inspected its contents. Upon reading the return address on the letter for Nico he frowned disapprovingly. Percy Jackson was not Hades' favorite person by a long shot.
The letter disappeared into Hades' pocket.
Nico didn't see his dad briskly strolling away, confiscated letter in tow. If he had he probably wouldn't have even noticed anything was strange. Why would anyone be sending him a letter, anyway?
Percy waited.
At first he was fairly confident Nico would come back. He thought that Nico had only run away because they'd had a misunderstanding. He thought that once Nico realized that Percy wasn't upset with him he'd be willing to talk.
But the days continued to creep by and Nico didn't show up. Percy continued attempting Iris-messages with no results.
It was becoming increasingly clear that Nico wasn't interested in seeing or talking to Percy. And that really sucked because the more time passed the more acutely Percy missed him.
He missed Nico's steadfast companionship. Nico had always been the most transient of Percy's friends, but when Percy had really needed him he'd stepped up unwaveringly. He missed the intensity that Nico applied to pretty much everything he did. He missed the small glimpses he'd get when Nico thought no one was noticing and he'd slip up and show that he wasn't quite as removed from his younger self as he wanted people to believe. A bit of his geeky enthusiasm occasionally shone through his jaded exterior. Percy got the impression that he witnessed those moments a bit more than other people. Or maybe he just paid closer attention.
Had he been wrong about what Nico had meant when he said he had feelings for him? Was it really possible that could have meant something else? He hadn't thought so, but then why wasn't Nico talking to him?
He really hoped he wasn't wrong.
The longer he waited the more he couldn't stop thinking about Nico. When he woke up in the morning, the first thought he'd inevitably have was less often I don't want to face the world, Annabeth's not in it, and more often maybe Nico will show up today. As he ate breakfast he couldn't stop remembering things like Nico's attempt to make him pancakes (he hadn't appreciated it at the time, he should have appreciated it) or all the different (sometimes interesting, sometimes not) breakfasts they'd had together in the various exotic places they'd traveled. He'd replay the conversations they'd had in his head, dissecting them to try and figure out if Nico had actually dropped any clues about his feelings. He wished he'd noticed sooner. He wished he'd been less obtuse and self-absorbed. He wished he'd handled things in a way that hadn't chased Nico off.
He was really trying to keep himself busy because when he let his thoughts wander too unchecked his mind would start drifting to really dangerous places and he'd start thinking things like I wonder if Nico was thinking about kissing me some of those times we were talking. I wonder what I would have done if he'd tried. I kind of wish he had. The increasing frequency with which those sorts of thoughts were invading Percy's mind kind of freaked him out a bit. But it freaked him out in a way that appealed to him. It gave him the same sort of feeling he got when he was planning for a quest. He knew he should be guarded because there would be unpredictable problems, but overall it would be interesting and exciting. Trying out a relationship with Nico would be really different. But really different was exactly what Percy decided he wanted.
His confused feelings were definitely sorting themselves out. The only problem was that knowing how he felt only made things worse. Because Nico wasn't around. Knowing that he did return Nico's feelings only made Nico's absence sharper and harder to deal with.
Every day he'd inevitably be faced with the urge to go check the Hades cabin just in case. He knew Nico wouldn't be in there, but he couldn't stop himself from looking anyway. Even unoccupied the cabin's torches kept burning, the dim room eternally glowing with flickering green light. Nico had a flair for the dramatic and Percy had to admit he thought it was cool. He thought a lot of stuff about Nico was cool. He should have let Nico know.
He couldn't stay in the Hades cabin for very long though. It reminded him of the Underworld, and that just hurt.
As the days climbed in number without hearing from him, Percy's constant thinking of Nico grew more and more depressive.
Was fate just being cruel to him? He'd been so happy with Annabeth and she'd been taken away from him. And then he'd been given another chance, with someone else amazing only to have that chance blow up in his face. Was he doomed to be alone and unhappy forever? Continuously haunted by the what if ghosts of an alternative future?
He didn't want to think about that.
Hanging around camp was proving not good for him. Percy was spending way too much time cleaning the Poseidon cabin. And cleaning was one of those activities that left your mind far too much room to wander and dwell on things while you work. And his mind only had one topic it was willing to dwell on, which was not a good one. All he could think about now was how he had used Nico. He couldn't really blame him for not coming back. All the time they'd spent together and Percy had barely been giving Nico a second thought. He'd made assumptions about both what Nico and what Annabeth would want and had been wrong on both counts, completely disregarding their feelings. He'd been pretty lousy to Nico and didn't really deserve getting a chance to be with him.
Percy was more of a doer than a thinker. Philosophizing about his horrible luck was not getting him anywhere. Nico apparently wasn't going to show up; there was no reason for him to stay bogged down at camp. He needed to get out and be occupied. He needed to do something good to start making up for his past several months of selfish behavior. Because if he couldn't be in the underworld than he sure as heck ought to make sure his time stuck up top was worth something.
He needed to go on a quest. He needed to go on as many quests as he could manage. He needed to convince himself that there was a good reason he was still alive. He had to somehow make a difference so that his months of misery actually had a greater purpose.
Percy practically ran to Chiron's office.
Nico was not enjoying his current stay in the Underworld.
"Stop sulking," said Hades, without even bothering to look at his son. "It doesn't suit you. Lords of death are majestic and terrifying. We don't sulk."
"You sulk all the time," said Nico.
"Be quiet and finish your cereal."
"I hate cereal," complained Nico. "Why do I have to eat it? Demeter's not even here anymore. Yet you're still always force feeding me cereal."
"She overstocked the pantry," said Hades. "We need to use it up."
"So make someone else eat it."
"You're the only living mortal soul here," said Hades logically. "That makes it your job."
"Ugh." Nico smashed the unappetizing flakes around with his spoon until they dissolved into a grey sludge.
"I told you to stop sulking," complained Hades again. "What is it with you? You're being...what's that word the mortals are using these days. Elmo? Emu?"
"Emo," sighed Nico.
"Yes, that's the one. You're being emo. It's very tiresome. You're teaching my skeleton army bad habits. Knock it off."
"Leave me alone."
"It's that Jackson boy isn't it?" Continued Hades relentlessly. "Ever since you went gallivanting all over the place with him you've been unattractively morose. I'm glad you came home. I don't approve of you associating with him. He makes you mopey."
Nico glared at his dad. It turned into a glaring contest that went on for a good ten minutes. Hades won.
"Would you have accepted his offer to trade his soul for Annabeth's?" Nico finally couldn't help asking. He'd been meaning to ask all along, but he'd kept putting it off because the answer scared him. If his dad said yes then that meant Percy might still actually go trough with it. Even if he'd resigned himself to not ever seeing Percy again, he still wanted Percy to be alive. The world needed him.
"Oh, Cerberus bite me, you actually have to ask that?"
Nico nodded resentfully.
"That answer should be quite obvious. I'm disappointed in you, boy."
"I'm seventeen," objected Nico. "I'm not a boy anymore."
"You just keep telling yourself that."
"Well, would you?"
"Of course not." Hades rolled his eyes dramatically. "What fool would accept a trade from a high risk case like that? He's going to end up down here any time now anyway. It's a miracle he survived long enough to steal the prophecy from you." Hades gave Nico a pointed look, apparently that was still a bit of a sore spot for him. "I give him three years left, tops. And that's being quite generous. If he continues on his current track he'll be dead in a matter of days."
Nico dropped his spoon and looked up at Hades in horror. "What?"
Hades shrugged. "Word on Olympus is that he's gone on some sort of suicidal quest bender, taking solo missions that are too big for him."
"Why didn't you say something!" Shrieked Nico.
"Didn't seem relevant. It's rather in character for that idiot, isn't it? Has nothing to do with you." Hades took a sip of nectar and went back to reading his copy of The Underworld Times.
"I have to stop him!" Nico jumped up from the table, looking around in a panic trying to think of the fastest way to get to Percy.
"Finish your cereal first."
Nico was gone before Hades could finish talking.
It wasn't hard for Nico to find Percy. He could easily sense Percy's life aura when he looked for it. Or at least he should have been able to easily sense Percy's life aura. This time it took a little more searching than it should have. The signal was weaker than the last time Nico had tuned in to it.
Nico found Percy five miles outside of Albuquerque. He was crouching in the dry red dirt, partially obscured by a stunted pinion pine. At first Nico thought Percy was covered in dirt too, but as he got close enough to see clearly it became clear that the mottled red splotches on Percy's arms were burns, not dust. Percy was breathing hard.
"Percy!" He couldn't stop himself from calling out. He couldn't see what Percy was fighting yet, but it was clearly something bad. He wanted Percy to know he had help.
He should have waited until he figured out where the enemy was before giving himself away. There was a rustling noise behind him and Nico spun around, sword in hand. He was met by a huge lantern-like yellow eye.
Nico tried to blink. He couldn't. He tried to swing his sword around and couldn't do that either. Staring into that eye was like gazing into a pool of lava. It burned with a hypnotic intensity, radiating danger. But Nico couldn't look away. There was a beauty to its terrifying depths as well. The spider web lines of red and orange crazing across the yellow orb were like a net reeling him in. He had an indescribable urge to touch it.
A sword swung mere inches in front of Nico's face, deflecting a stream of liquid that cackled and hissed as it made contact with the metal. A few stray drops of whatever it was hit his shoulder, burning straight through his T-shirt in seconds. Searing pain tore through his skin.
The interference was enough to break the trance Nico had been caught in. He scrambled backwards, and was afforded a better view of their opponent.
A drakon.
Percy was fighting a drakon by himself.
Hades had not been exaggerating when he'd described Percy's quests as suicidal. Nico cursed.
Percy was running, dodging another stream of the beast's acidic venom. Nico was firmly locked onto Percy's aura now. He could feel each stray splatter of venom that hit Percy with almost as much vividness as the acid that had physically touched his own skin. Percy was in a lot of pain. There was no telling how long this battle had been going on before Nico had crashed it.
He charged the monster, swinging his sword at it with all his force. He was careful to avoid making eye contact this time, but it didn't help much. His sword bounced of the impenetrable scales without making so much as a scratch.
He swung again without better results. The drakon swiveled its head around and made a sucking noise that Nico recognized as the prelude to another venomous shower. Percy lunged and shoved him out of the way.
From where he'd rolled on the ground Nico could see Percy feverishly attacking the drakon's face. But his blows were bouncing off without managing to hit anything vulnerable. The drakon snapped its jaws on Riptide, tearing the blade out of Percy's hands as easily as a dog flinging a twig. It opened its toothy maw again, clearly intending to sever Percy's head with its next bite. Nico ran straight at the open mouth, no thought to any possible consequences. He shoved his blade into the roof of the drakon's mouth. His sword went in deep, but then stuck fast, probably stopped by the underside of scales on the drakon's nose. It let out a horrible screeching noise and venom oozed out the sides of its jaws. Nico wasn't able to avoid it in time and the skin on his forearms began to bubble and blister excruciatingly. The pain slowed him down and drakon was quickly on top of him, pinning him down with the thick coils of its body.
For the second time, Nico couldn't move. Although this time is was because he was being constricted by a crushing weight, rather than merely hypnotized.
This was probably it. He was going to be done in by a stupid giant serpent. At least he'd gotten to see Percy one last time first. Too bad there hadn't been time to even say hello.
He was going to make sure though that Percy walked away from this.
Nico used the last of his energy to tear a rift in the ground below him. A canyon opened up and Nico was airborne. He fell, still entwined in the drakon's embrace. The impact hurt a lot. The only reason he probably survived was because the drakon was wrapped around him, and the serpent's body absorbed some of the shock.
Unfortunately the drakon survived the fall as well. Nico was only barely conscious but he was aware enough to feel the steely rope of its body constricting again.
A small shower of rocks slid down the side of the canyon, distracting Nico's fading attention from his captor. Percy was climbing down the rocky crevasse.
No, thought Nico urgently. Run away. There's no point in both of us dying. Get away you idiot. He tried to yell at Percy to stop, but he couldn't get his voice to work properly. He was too weak and all the air had been knocked out of him by the fall.
The drakon was preoccupied with its prey. It didn't see Percy as he made the final leap down to the gorge's floor. It didn't notice the sword Percy had reclaimed and was now thrusting at its face.
Riptide slid right into the drakon's eye. Percy kept the lunge going until his blade emerged clean through the other one. He'd skewered its head like a shish kebob.
The pressure crushing Nico released in a shower of dust. His difficulty breathing lingered though. He suspected he might have broken some ribs. He hurt too much to move. He felt like he was going to pass out and he welcomed the oblivion.
"Nico!" Percy was screaming. It was annoyingly loud. Nico just wanted to be allowed to slip into the blackness. He needed a break from his senses.
"Nico! Don't! Keep your eyes open!" screamed Percy frantically. Nico would have shook his head but he didn't have the energy for that.
"Oh gods, what do I do what do I do what do I do," the rhythm of Percy's panic was like a lullaby. "I don't know how to fix this. Nico hang on, don't die on me, oh gods, Nico don't die."
Then there was the feel of Percy's fingers shoving his mouth open and the taste of french fries as Percy forced the ambrosia down. It was an irritating reminder that no matter how much he tried to change he couldn't sever all the remnants of his childish past. There were certain things about him that were simply Nico and it was a part of his real self no matter how much he tried to distance himself, stupid junk food addictions included. It was hard to swallow when his whole upper body felt numb and broken but somehow he managed. And then Percy's arms were picking him up and Percy was holding him and Nico was distantly aware that this should bother him, but what the hell, he was dying. Dying in Percy's arms was a pretty good way to go.
He expected to wake up in the underworld. Instead he woke up—head still feeling fuzzy and detached—on a cot in a dingy room with cracks in the walls and no windows. There was an Andy Warhol style poster in his immediate line of sight featuring a rainbow grid of soda cans. A beaded curtain hung next to it, although it apparently had no point, as there wasn't any entrance behind it. The only light came from a green and yellow lava lamp.
Nico felt weak and nauseous and staring at the undulating wax in the lamp was not helping. He turned away, only to catch sight of Percy. His heart jumped. He'd really thought he was looking at Percy for the last time as his vision had been fading.
Percy was slumped on the floor next to the cot. In the dim light Nico couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep. There was a basin of water on the floor next to him.
"Percy?" Nico's voice sounded strange and hoarse to his own ears.
Percy immediately jerked up in response. "Nico!" he said anxiously. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"
The answer was I feel like I've been hit by a truck and then it backed over me a few extra times to finish the job. But what Nico actually said was "I've felt better, but I guess I'm okay?"
"Are you sure?" Percy darted around him like a frantic bird, inspecting his neck, his eyes, feeling his forehead. There were scabs covering Percy's arms. They still looked painful but the burns had lost their glistening angry intensity. Percy was healing already. Had the process been accelerated by magic or had Nico simply been unconscious that long?
"Well, I feel better than I did after being stuck in that jar." Nico tried to laugh, but it turned into more of a cough. "So I think I'll bounce back. Where are we?"
"Santa Fe."
"Santa Fe, huh?" asked Nico, puzzled. "I always pictured someplace classier when I heard that name. What are we doing in such a dump?"
"Well, it's not like I could just take you to a regular mortal hospital," said Percy with a frown. "Not with a magical injury like you had. I panicked and called Chiron for help. There weren't any camp allies in Albuquerque. But the New Mexico chapter of the Party Ponies is here in Santa Fe, so he called them and they picked us up and brought us here. You've been out for a long time."
"You let Party Ponies do medical treatment on me?" Nico asked skeptically. "I can't believe I'm still alive."
"No of course not," said Percy quickly. "They brought a doctor with them. They keep one on speed-Iris."
"Did somebody say PARTY?" The door suddenly creaked open and a shaggy face with sunglasses on poked through. Behind the face Nico could make out a bowling shirt with a nametag sticker on it that said 'Hello my name is Awesome.'
"No," lied Percy.
"Well you should have," announced Awesome. "Because one's starting RIGHT NOW. Yeeeaaaaah, who wants to play root beer pong?"
"He's sick," reminded Percy, pointing at Nico.
"Dude, are you even listening?" said Awesome, clearly not listening himself. "Root beer's like, made of roots, bro. It's practically medicine. You'll feel better if you have some."
"Maybe later," said Percy, shooing the Party Pony away.
"We'll be going all night," persisted Awesome. "Limbo contest at ten."
"We'll keep that in mind." Percy shut the door in Awesome's face.
"Limbo contest?" Nico couldn't help asking. "With centaurs? How does that even work?"
"We probably don't want to know," said Percy. "Though if you're dying to find out here's your chance." He frowned heavily as the word 'dying' left his mouth. He clearly hadn't meant to say something like that. He sat down on the cot next to Nico. "You scared me," he said seriously. "I thought you were a goner."
"Honestly? Me too." Nico gave Percy a pained half-smile. "I ought to say thanks for saving me, but you shouldn't have. You should have gotten away instead of jumping after me with a death wish. That was really stupid."
"If you think I'd ever leave you behind, I'm not the stupid one," said Percy seriously. He was giving Nico a really intense look.
Nico had to look away. He couldn't handle seeing Percy look at him like that. It felt too much like there might actually be feelings under the surface of that look, but Nico knew better than to let his mind trick him into thinking that. Percy's fatal flaw was loyalty to his friends. He would have risked his life like that for pretty much anyone. No matter how much he wanted it to, it didn't mean anything.
"Yeah, well. I'm not the one who decided to take on a drakon single handedly," muttered Nico. "So that makes you either stupid or suicidal. I'll sleep better at night assuming you're just stupid."
"I didn't know it was going to be a drakon until I got there," said Percy. "Some potential demigods had disappeared and I was just investigating. I would have called for backup if I'd known. It caught me off-guard."
He almost sounded sincere, but Nico suspected he wouldn't have actually called for backup.
"Sure," said Nico dismissively. He wondered how long he'd be stuck here. Being this close to Percy and knowing that he knew was unbearable. Was he making Percy uncomfortable right now? Was Percy really as concerned about him as he was acting, or was he just faking it because Percy was a good person and always took good care of people, regardless of his feelings about them? He was afraid to look Percy in the eyes and get a hint of the answer.
"The ambrosia got the healing process started, but your injuries were really bad." Percy seemed to have read Nico's mind and answered his question unasked. "The amount of ambrosia it would have taken to completely fix them would have killed you. I've been using water to heal you too, but there's only so much I can do. You're going to need to rest a while and heal the regular way. We can give you more ambrosia after a few days break."
"Fantastic," said Nico flatly.
"Don't even think about shadow-traveling until you're fully healed," said Percy sternly.
"You know me so well," said Nico sarcastically. "Good luck stopping me."
Percy closed his fingers around Nico's wrist. "I am going to stop you," he said. "I'll stop you even if it means not sleeping for a week. You're not going anywhere."
Percy's fingers were warm and felt good on Nico's skin. He wanted Percy to never let go. He wanted him to slide his fingers down into his hand. He wanted it so bad it physically hurt. Was Percy even aware of what he was doing and the effect it had on him? Was he doing it on purpose?
"Please…don't touch me."
Percy reluctantly released Nico's wrist. "Sorry," he said unhappily. "I guess…I could get someone else from camp to come stay with you if that's what it would take to keep you from running off before you're healed. It…doesn't have to be me."
"That might be for the best," said Nico quietly.
"Oh." Percy sounded slightly surprised. As if he'd expected his offer to get turned down. "…Okay."
A long uncomfortable silence stretched out between them. Percy might have let go of Nico's wrist, but he was still sitting far too close to him for Nico's comfort. He could feel his body heat even though they weren't technically touching. He could feel Percy's life force too, which was to Nico's relief back to its normal, very alive strength.
That observation reminded Nico of what had brought him here. Percy had been deliberately putting himself in danger. Nico had come to stop him. Sure he'd succeeded in stopping him once now with the drakon, but Percy was probably going to do something like that again. He probably shouldn't turn Percy away so quickly. Forcing him to keep vigil on an invalid was a pretty good way to prevent Percy from doing something stupidly dangerous. Nico would just have to suck it up and ignore the way that Percy's constant proximity made his heart feel like it was being messily shoved through a paper shredder.
"Actually," Nico forced himself to say. "You don't have to do that. You can stay if you want. I won't shadow travel."
He could feel Percy's eyes on him even though he wasn't looking. He was grateful for the low lighting. He hoped Percy wouldn't be able to see just how uncomfortable he was.
"Good," said Percy. Relief was evident in his voice, which Nico found confusing. It didn't really make sense to him that Percy would want to be chained to his bedside for days on end. He'd betrayed Percy's trust hadn't he? Percy ought to be acting anxious to be rid of him.
"Did you get hurt badly?" Nico asked.
"Not really. Just some burns. They're nothing."
Percy was lying. Nico had felt those burns, and he had several matching ones. They were definitely not 'nothing.' Typical.
"Did you actually know what you were getting yourself into when you started fighting that thing?" Nico asked. "You didn't seriously think you could take it alone, did you?
"No," agreed Percy. "I didn't. The last one I encountered I couldn't even defeat with…" his voice wavered slightly. "…I mean even Annabeth and I together couldn't take it. I knew I didn't have much of a chance."
"So you are trying to get yourself killed."
"No," said Percy.
"That's really how it looks to me."
"Well you're wrong. I was just trying to help people."
"Well you can't help anyone if you're dead," nagged Nico.
"I know," said Percy again. "Being dead wasn't the plan."
"Well that's a first."
"Look, I already told you I came to grips with what Annabeth said. I'm really not trying to infiltrate the Underworld. Your No-Percys-Allowed club is safe, okay?" There was a sharpness to Percy's retort that Nico had never really heard in his voice before. It was jarring.
"Uh, when exactly did you supposedly tell me this?" Nico asked, confused.
"In my letter."
"Letter?" Nico was even more confused.
"You didn't get my letter?"
"I never get any letters."
"Well you should have. I wrote you a letter. I sent it Hermes Express. The letter isn't why you showed up?"
"I didn't get it. I showed up because dad was bragging that you were going to kick the bucket any day now and I wanted to stop you."
"Oh."
"What…" He was afraid to ask. A really dangerous splinter of hope started pushing up inside of him. Nico braced himself to have it shattered. "What did it say?"
"A lot of stuff," said Percy vaguely. "Mostly that I wasn't mad at you. I asked you to come back to camp."
"Oh," said Nico. He simultaneously felt relieved and disappointed. Okay, so Percy still wanted to be friends. That was better than he could have hoped. There was no way he was going back to camp though. Being around Percy all the time was still going to hurt too much.
"And…well. You probably wouldn't have liked the letter much, actually," Percy mumbled. "It was a bit wishy-washy. I was still trying to sort some stuff out when I wrote it."
"Ah," said Nico, not really sure where Percy was leading with that.
"Have you changed your mind about me?" Percy suddenly asked.
"What…what do you mean?" Nico knew exactly what Percy meant, but the question threw him into defensive panic mode, so his brain automatically opted to stall. His voice had probably sounded near hysterical.
"You said you had feelings for me," said Percy. "Did that change? You kind of act like you can't stand me a lot of the time. I'm not sure what to make of it."
Nico stared at the lava lamp, distantly hoping that maybe the hypnotic floating wax would put him to sleep so he wouldn't have to answer Percy's question. No such luck.
"Of course I can stand you," Nico muttered. "Don't be stupid."
"Is that it though?" Percy persisted. "You're just tolerating me then?"
"What does it matter?" Nico dodged.
"It matters a lot."
"Is my answer going to upset you?" Nico kept stalling.
"Possibly," said Percy. "It depends on your answer."
"Then you probably shouldn't ask," muttered Nico. "I'd hate to upset you."
"You already upset me by running away without talking to me. This is your chance to make that up."
"Are you trying to get revenge on me by torturing me?" asked Nico. "Because you're doing a great job. This is worse than being mauled by the drakon."
"No," said Percy simply. "I just really want to know how you feel before I say what I need to say. I don't want to assume anything and then say something that might freak you out instead. I don't want to chase you off again."
Nico's heart sank. That sounded like a rejection in waiting if he ever heard one.
"Let's just skip all this and go straight to awkwardly pretending we never had this conversation then," Nico mumbled.
"Look," said Percy with a sigh. "You know when Annabeth and I got together, I never really officially asked her or anything, right? She sort of took charge in the beginning and stuff just happened. I didn't have to do anything. It just naturally came together."
Nico gritted his teeth. Percy was really lucky that Nico was as injured as he was. If he were better he'd have been halfway to Australia by now. Forcing him to listen to stories about hooking up with Annabeth was just plain cruel.
"How nice for you," said Nico sarcastically.
"I'm just trying to explain that I don't know what the heck I'm doing right now," Percy continued. "I don't have much practice in having a conversation like this. I've never asked anyone out before."
"Huh-wha—?" Nico's head snapped around and he finally looked Percy in the face. Percy looked...nervous? This was not making sense. Percy wasn't someone he was used to seeing nervous. Percy was ultra-confident. He'd been half tuning Percy out in anticipation of him saying something painful. Had he misheard him just now?
"I want to try being together?" Percy asked hesitatingly. "If that's what you actually want? I hope I'm not assuming too much?"
Nico felt a little dizzy, his heart was suddenly pounding so fast. "What, together-together?" he asked. "You mean like how you and Annabeth were together? But with me?"
Percy nodded. "Yeah."
"Wait, are you serious?"
Percy nodded again. "Yeah."
Nico gingerly touched his head. "The Party Ponies didn't give me some kind of hallucinogenic medicine, did they?" he couldn't help asking.
Percy laughed, although there was still a nervous edge to the laughter. "No, definitely not."
"Okay, new theory," said Nico. "I'm actually still caught by the drakon and the Mist is screwing with my head while I slowly suffocate. I'm talking to a rock right now instead of the real Percy. That's what's actually happening, isn't it?"
"Would you rather be talking to a rock right now?" Percy asked. "I could go find one for you."
"Obviously not," said Nico quickly. "I just don't see how you could say something like that to me without there being a major catch."
"The major catch is that you're not allowed to disappear on me without warning anymore," said Percy. "I hate when you do that."
"But it's totally cool with warning, huh?"
"No, I'd rather you didn't disappear at all. I really miss you."
Nico blinked. Percy actually sounded sincere. Nico was slowly starting to actually believe him. Small tendrils of happiness began unfurling in his stomach, and that was a dangerous thing to let grow unchecked. If this somehow turned out to be a joke or a mistake, and Percy took his offer back, the disappointment would break him.
"You…do?"
"Yes," said Percy. "Are you going to leave me hanging forever, or what? I'm kind of a nervous wreck over here. Do you want to be my boyfriend or not?"
Nico automatically started nodding his head but then froze. His brain was still screaming at him that he was setting himself up to get majorly hurt.
"What about Annabeth," he asked miserably. He knew he was sabotaging himself by bringing her up, but he really had to be sure.
Percy flinched. "I'm probably going to be messed up over her for a long time," he said honestly. "But she's gone and I'm not going to interfere anymore."
"So I'm just like the rebound compensation prize so you don't have to be alone," Nico theorized aloud. "'cause it's obvious I wouldn't turn you down."
Even in the bad lighting it was impossible to miss the hurt that flashed across Percy's face. "No," he said emphatically. "It's not like that at all. My feelings for you don't have anything to do with Annabeth. It's just that I wouldn't have realized how strong they were if this stuff hadn't happened. Do I seem like someone who's ready for another relationship? I sure wasn't looking. I'm kind of freaked out by how fast this is moving. The timing isn't ideal at all but you sort of forced my hand by running away. And now I don't want to wait because I know you'd probably disappear again before I could ask you and I don't want to risk losing the chance. I'd regret that a lot. So. I'm not really big on the having regrets thing right now. I've kind of had a wakeup call about how little time we could have. I just don't want to lose you."
Nico didn't know what to say. Strong feelings, huh? Percy had strong feelings for him. His throat felt tight.
"I know I've been kind of a burden to you lately. I get it if you don't want to put up with me right now. But maybe—"
"Shut up," said Nico. He was done trying to talk himself out of what he wanted. So he might be setting himself up for crippling heartbreak. He'd risk it. It wasn't every day you got handed the thing you wanted more than anything else in the world. He leaned in, watching carefully to gauge Percy's reaction. If he hesitated or flinched Nico would know he hadn't really meant the stuff he'd said.
Percy didn't hesitate. Once he realized what Nico was doing he quickly bridged the gap. Percy's arms were snaking around Nico and his hands fisted in his shirt. They kissed tentatively at first (Percy because he was still worried about freaking Nico out and Nico because he hadn't ever done it before,) but the pace naturally picked up and their kisses got longer and more intense.
Nico had a hard time relaxing. He'd spent so long being terrified of his feelings that it was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that Percy was actually okay with this. That Percy was more than okay with this; that Percy wasn't just humoring him, Percy wanted him. It just didn't seem like something that could even be a possibility. But then Percy's fingers were dragging across his back, and Percy's tongue was questioningly running along the seam of Nico's lips, and those weren't really things someone would do if they didn't want to. At least, not someone like Percy anyway. And Nico's mouth was opening for Percy without him even telling it to. And everything Percy was doing felt way too amazing to be real.
"I'm still not convinced the Party Ponies didn't slip me something psychedelic," Nico finally said in a pause between kisses. He could feel Percy's lips quirk up against his own.
"They haven't got anything stronger than sarsaparilla and Cheetos," he laughed. "Trust me, I checked all their cabinets when I was panicking thinking you were dying."
"Glad I didn't," said Nico absently. "This was definitely worth pulling through for."
"Not as glad as I am." Percy's voice turned serious. He tightened his arms around Nico protectively.
"Ow." Nico cringed as his ribs reminded him how damaged they were. Percy immediately let go and began apologizing profusely.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," said Nico immediately. He didn't want Percy to let go. The pain from his injuries was preferable to Percy backing off. He was still feeling mildly paranoid that if he lost contact with Percy the bubble of this too-good-to-be-true fantasy would pop and he'd find he'd just imagined the whole thing.
Percy didn't go back to hugging him, but he threaded his fingers through Nico's instead.
"If I'd known all it would take to get you to come back is almost getting eaten by a drakon, I would have done that weeks ago," Percy attempted to joke.
Nico didn't find it funny. He lightly shoved Percy. "You jerk," he muttered quietly. "What were you thinking? I already told you everyone would be devastated if you got yourself killed."
"I wasn't especially thinking," replied Percy. "That was the whole point. It hasn't exactly been pleasant in here lately." He tapped the side of his head with his free hand. "I was trying to stay too busy to think much."
"I know how you feel," said Nico somberly. "But if your goal's not thinking then you should have joined a team sport or picked a hobby that wasn't potentially lethal."
"Like you?" Percy gave Nico a skeptical look. "Is that what you were up to in the Underworld? Forming an intramural dodge ball team? Working on a stamp collection?"
"I was dismembering minions of the undead," said Nico seriously. "And I wasn't distracted while I did it."
"Sure you weren't," Percy scoffed.
"I wasn't," said Nico indignantly. "I'm very focused when I'm training. I saved my pity parties for after. It was like a reward. Shatter twenty skeletons: earn twenty minutes of wallowing. Everyone wins."
Percy smiled. He could easily envision Nico's dark and pensive expression while cleaving his iron sword through hordes of skeletons. He liked watching Nico fight. Although he rarely got the opportunity to pay attention as usually if Nico was fighting it meant he was too.
"Well. I might not have been trying to get myself killed, but I wasn't exactly overly worried about it either. Everyone I wanted to see was in the Underworld. Either I saved a bunch of innocent people or I got to see you again. Seemed pretty win-win."
"That is definitely not a win-win." Nico squeezed Percy's hand hard. It wasn't lost on him that Percy had said see you rather than see Annabeth.
"Well I like how things turned out better," agreed Percy. "Definitely a bigger win."
"I'm still pretty shocked you feel that way," admitted Nico.
"It kind of snuck up on me," said Percy. "I didn't notice until you said something. But once you made me think about it, it seemed kind of obvious. You've always been more central in my attention than other people. I thought it was just because I felt responsible about Bianca. But…spending so much time with you made me realize there was more of a connection than just that. I wish you'd said something sooner."
"Why?" asked Nico. "It wouldn't have changed anything. You still would have been with Annabeth, right?"
Percy nodded. "Yeah. I just feel like I should have known."
"It just would have made you feel guilty. And I would have felt worse because I couldn't feel rejected so long as you had no idea how I felt. It was better you didn't know."
"I wish you hadn't left for three years though," said Percy. "I missed you."
"I had to go. It was too hard to be around…" Nico paused, his eyes obviously wandering towards Percy. "…Camp."
"But you'll stay now?" Percy pressed.
Nico was silent. He hadn't really thought about that part of being with Percy yet. The getting together hurdle had seemed too improbable for him to ever waste time theorizing what he'd do once they started dating. He was ecstatic to learn that Percy returned his feelings. He felt a bit less enthusiastic about the idea of permanently residing at Camp Half-Blood. It's not that he didn't like camp or anything, he just never felt like he belonged there. The other campers frequently made him uncomfortable.
"If that's where you're set on being," Nico nodded. "I'll go where you want. For now."
Percy grinned at him. "Good," he said. He took in Nico's more serious expression. "Can I tell people about us?"
Nico paled. "Why—why would you want to?"
"Because I'm happy about being with you," said Percy.
"Other people won't be happy though. They'll give us a hard time."
"No they won't," said Percy. "They'll be happy for us."
Nico shook his head. "They won't. They definitely won't. It'll make them uncomfortable. I'll drag you down into being an outcast and a freak if people find out."
"No you won't. Nico, our friends aren't like that. They don't see you like that. And they're not going to see me that way by association, either."
"I don't have any friends," said Nico quietly.
"That's definitely not true. What about Jason?"
"Jason is just nice to me because he's nice to everyone, like you. He feels sorry for me or something. But you can tell Jason if you want, I guess. I know he won't tell anyone else."
"You have more friends than just Jason. But we'll start there. We don't have to tell anyone one else right away. We can work up to that. I'd like to tell my mom though, is that okay?
Nico reluctantly nodded. "Yeah…" he said, fear evident in his voice. "Yeah, that's an okay place to start."
Percy smiled warmly at him. He pulled Nico in for another kiss.
Nico braced himself for the fallout: the judging looks he knew they'd get, the whispering behind their backs, the outright insults. He hadn't been willing to take that kind of abuse when he thought his feelings were unrequited. It would have been unbearable. Having Percy supportably at his side though made a difference. That was worth it, he knew he could handle it. He just didn't especially want to. Percy's determination to go public with their relationship status was baffling to him. Why would he want to face all that grief when they could just be happy together in secret? It wasn't even solely the unconventionality of their relationship that made Nico feel that way. Even had Percy been a girl, Nico still wouldn't have considered himself much of a prize to show off. That Percy would want to advertise that he was now with not only a guy, but a son of Hades seemed just crazy.
The fallout never came though. When Percy dragged Nico to his mom's apartment Sally Jackson lit up at the sight of her son. Her hundred-watt smile didn't flicker when Percy declared Nico was his boyfriend. If anything she beamed wider. The next thing Nico knew she was busy baking blue cookies and treating him as if he'd always been a member of the family.
When Paul got home from work he seemed a bit surprised and confused. But his hesitation lasted only a few seconds and then he was smiling too and offering to take everyone out for dinner.
Nico had no memories of being part of a functional, loving family setting like this. He knew his mom had loved him of course, he'd seen the evidence of that. But that didn't help the void he felt at not being able to remember her. And he knew his dad cared. He was protective if not affectionate. But still. Nothing in his realm of experience had felt like this. He'd been reluctant to make the visit, but Nico found himself not wanting to leave.
He was less nervous going to see Jason. He didn't even have to say anything this time. The moment Jason saw them together (they weren't even doing anything to give themselves away like holding hands,) he gave Nico a knowing smile and suggested that they go somewhere to talk.
They'd barely gotten the door of the Hades cabin closed before Jason was grinning and punching him in the shoulder.
"Congratulations man," he said. "It's so good to see you guys."
Nico felt himself flush. "We're not that obvious are we?" he asked in dismay.
"Nah, not to anyone else," said Jason cheerfully. "But you're together and both look happy. That's a first since…ever. What else would I assume?"
"I don't know. Maybe we just accidently visited a shadow realm where it rains cheeseburgers every half hour. Don't make assumptions about stuff like this!"
"Okaaaay," said Jason, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "Did you just take a vacation in cheeseburger land?"
"No. " Nico sighed. "We're together."
"Called it," said Jason. He turned and gave Percy thumbs up. "Good decision. Glad you sorted everything out."
"Hey," Nico peered at Jason suspiciously. "Have you two been talking?"
"He didn't tell me anything," Percy quickly cut in. "But I needed to talk to someone. You were my first choice but someone didn't want to be available."
"Hm." Nico still looked at Percy and Jason suspiciously.
"Hey, talking to him helped me figure out what I wanted. Don't bash it."
"So have you told Hazel yet?" Jason asked to change the subject.
Guilt flooded Nico's face. "No."
"You should," said Jason. "She'll be happy for you."
Nico shrugged.
"That's what I keep telling him," Percy agreed. "I mean, I'm a pretty good catch, if I do say so myself. She'll have to approve." He laughed good-naturedly.
Nico didn't echo Percy's humor. "She grew up in the same time period I did," he said seriously. "And in a very conservative region. She doesn't have to approve at all."
"That won't matter," said Percy. "She loves you. It really upset her when you left. She'll just want to know you're happy."
"Maybe." Nico didn't look convinced.
"You ought to at least visit her, even if you don't tell her right away," said Jason. "She wants to see you. Though it would be better if she heard the news from you first. Someone else might find out by accident and tell her. She'd be really hurt if she didn't find out from you directly."
Nico opened his mouth to say something along the lines of 'I will make sure that no one finds out by accident' but caught a glimpse of Percy's eyes. Percy suddenly looked a lot less happy than he did a moment ago. Percy wanted people to know. Percy wanted everyone to know. Nico's secretiveness bothered him.
"I'll visit her very soon," Nico acquiesced. "And…I'll probably tell her eventually. Maybe."
"I could invite her and Frank here for a visit," Jason offered. "You could surprise them."
"Hey now," said Nico quickly. "I didn't agree to tell Frank anything."
"It's not fair to expect Hazel to keep secrets from Frank," said Jason. "It's a real strain to keep things from the person you spend the most time around."
Nico suspected Jason was talking about Piper there, rather than Frank. Great, that's one more person he was probably about to get bullied into coming out to.
"You bring up an excellent point as to why I shouldn't tell Hazel," Nico stubbornly retorted.
"You can't seriously be worried about Frank," said Percy. "Telling Frank is about as scary as telling a big teddy bear or labrador retriever or something. There is no way in Tartarus he'll take that badly."
"Uh, you didn't see him in Venice," said Nico seriously. "Or in the Necromantium. Frank is possibly the scariest guy I know."
"He's only scary if someone is threatening to hurt Hazel. In other words a very good argument for telling her immediately." Jason looked at Nico pointedly. "You should trust me on that."
Nico sighed very loudly. Both Percy and Jason's eyes were intently fixed on him, their expressions very serious and expectant. It was very hard to actively disappoint Percy. He wanted him to go back to looking at him in the happy and affectionate way that he had been doing ever since he'd woken up in Santa Fe.
"Fine," he grumbled. "Fine. Invite Hazel and Frank to come visit. Invite Piper too for crying out loud. Have a flipping dinner party. You can order custom bowls with 'Nico and Percy are dating' inscribed on the bottom, so everyone will get a big surprise when they finish their soup. Will that make you two happy?"
Percy and Jason looked at each other and broke into a grin.
"Yeah," said Percy.
"That should just about do it," agreed Jason.
Nico blanched. "No, wait guys, I wasn't being serious."
They weren't listening to him. "I'll get the invitations printed if you get the bowls," said Percy.
"I can totally get the bowls," agreed Jason. "Color preference?"
"Blue," said Percy. "Blue bowls. Blue soup."
"No, guys," Nico was flailing. "Seriously, don't do that."
"Think white text will show up enough through the soup?" asked Jason.
"Oh definitely." Percy nodded. "White and blue will be totally classy. Everyone will love it."
"Guys." Nico's protest fell on deaf ears.
"See, that was hardly the end of the world now, was it?"
"It could have been." Nico had to object just on principal. In actuality though he agreed completely. He felt better than he could ever remember feeling.
In the end he had begrudgingly let Jason invite their friends over for dinner. There hadn't been any embarrassing gimmicks like custom dinnerware fortunately, but that hadn't made the evening any less terrifying for Nico. He hadn't been sure if he was actually going to go through with saying anything, all he really agreed to was being present and talking to people; a terrifying prospect in itself. He'd been gone for three years. Intense questioning would be inevitable. And he'd never really considered any of these people his actual friends. Hazel was the only one he'd ever let himself believe he had a real connection with, and he was never really sure how much of that was genuine or just gratefulness on her part because Nico had rescued her.
There was no mistaking her happiness at seeing him again though. She lit up like a neon sign when she realized Nico was there.
The others seemed surprisingly pleased to see him as well. It was hard for Nico not to feel suspicious that there was something no one was telling him. There had to be a different reason they were all acting pleased. It couldn't possibly be because they actually wanted to see someone like him. Right?
But as the evening progressed, Nico was reminded more and more of how he missed being part of a group, even if it was a group where he'd always felt like little more than a tolerated outsider. It had been lonely living in seclusion for three plus years.
And as the conversations flowed, Percy's chair seemed to mysteriously inch closer to Nico's. His gestures fell increasingly closer to Nico's personal space. Their arms kept casually brushing; Percy's fingers would find excuses to land on Nico's hand or forearm. Nico kept waiting for someone to notice and comment but no one did. And then in the middle of a particularly animated story, Percy jovially flung his arm around Nico's shoulders. Nico stiffened, but didn't object. And though he could feel his face burning, Nico didn't shove him off when Percy didn't pull his arm away. For a while they got no attention. Then the questioning looks did start. Piper noticed first, her inquisitive eyes darting first to Percy, then to Nico. He almost reacted by flinging Percy off and running out of the room, but there had been no malice in Piper's stare. Her expression was curious but not judgmental. So Nico swallowed his screaming nerves and smiled at her.
And that must have been his undoing. Apparently the sight of Nico smiling was more noteworthy than Percy's open display of closeness. Every eye in the room was immediately on him.
Percy coughed.
Nico eyed the sliver of shadow being cast by his fork and wondered if he could somehow fit into it.
"Nico?" Hazel's voice was tentative and confused. "Are you okay?"
Nico nodded dumbly. "Very okay," he assured her.
"Good," she said, although the statement felt incomplete. Like she was waiting for elaboration.
Nico closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He bit his lip. And although he'd originally planned on making Percy do the telling, he was suddenly spilling the news himself. He talked fast before his mind could rebel and freeze up midsentence.
"PercyAndIAreTogether," he said with a gulp. The words weren't quite as hard to get out as he'd expected.
"That's great." Hazel's smile reached her eyes.
And just like that the eating resumed and conversations picked back up as if the dinner party had not just been interrupted with an earth-shattering announcement. It was a bit anti-climatic, really.
Although now the food for some reason was tasting better. And the humorous banter was easier to pay attention to. And when Percy reached for his hand under the table Nico had no anxiety letting him take it, and that was a first. It felt great.
Their fingers were still entwined now, hours later, lying in Percy's bed.
"Told you they'd be cool with it," Percy was gloating.
Nico nodded but didn't say anything. He felt like he ought to argue, but he was glad to have been proven wrong. A paralyzing tension that he'd grown so used to he'd lost awareness of even carrying around had finally dissolved. He felt like a different person almost.
"Thank you for doing that," Percy continued, rolling over so that he was on his side and facing Nico. "It meant a lot to me."
"No problem," Nico lied.
"Now we don't have to be worried and careful all the time," said Percy. "We can focus on each other instead of other people."
Nico met Percy's eyes. There was an intensity in Percy's celadon gaze when he said 'focus on each other' that put fiery knots in Nico's stomach. Yeah, everything he'd been through to this point was worth it a hundred times over to have Percy look at him like that. He'd personally deliver their news to every monster in Tartarus if it meant Percy wouldn't stop.
"Yeah," Nico agreed. "We should maybe get practicing on that."
"I'm a big believer in practice." Percy leaned forward so that their faces were almost touching. He wrapped his arm around Nico so that his fingers threaded through his hair.
Nico kissed him first. They didn't stop for hours.